Summer Wishes (Desire #1.5)

by Kailin Gow

Floating, as in a dream, she wandered through the home she’d known and love all her life, Matt close behind her.

  The kitchen where so many family meals had taken place, loud, chaotic and loving.

  The small and singular bathroom she’d so often had to wait for as her brother primped and preen for his date with Melanie.

  Her bedroom. Small, but tidy, she’d hated having to share it with Jade. It had been a huge damper as she’d entered adolescence. She loved her sister dearly, but sharing her room with a seven year old wasn’t her idea of teen bliss.

  But that had all changed when Jacob left and Jade was permitted to take his room.

  Jocelyn had never told anyone how she missed cuddling whenever Jade had had a troubling nightmare, how she missed the stuffed animals strewn everywhere, and how she missed reading with her.

  Finally she leaned on the doorjamb of her parents’ bedroom.

  “I’d miss them so much.”

  “I know.” He came up close behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. “I’ve lived in the same safe little cocoon as you have, remember? Of course I’m scared and of course I’ll miss my family, but my future is with you. I’ve seen what a bad Life’s Plan can do to a person. I don’t want to sit by and let that happen to me.”

  He turned her around, pressed her to the wall and kissed her.

  His kiss had lost its innocence and the sweetness gave way to hunger.

  “I won’t let it happen to me,” he repeated between heated kisses.

  It was so easy to lose herself in his embrace. His lips were soft, warm and she never wanted the kiss to end.

  In the distance, the vague and foggy sound of the front door opening and closing knocked at her consciousness, but Matt’s kiss ensured the sound remain far away and unimportant.

  Only when Jocelyn heard the clearing of a throat did she pull away and turn to the intrusion. Too stunned to say anything, she stared at the face she’d not seen for so long.

  Finding his voice, Matt said, “Melanie?”

  Chapter 3

  A ghost could not have left them gaping more.

  Always a beauty, tall, thin with enviable long shiny thick brown hair, it had been easy to see how Melanie had won the heart of Jocelyn’s brother. Jocelyn remembered her as the most fashionable girl in school, a girly girl who’d always loved make up, pretty dresses and beautiful elegant shoes.

  Looking at her now, no one would know all this.

  Her enviable tresses had been shorn off; the short pixie cut emphasizing her natural delicate beauty and emphasizing her huge waif-like eyes. Her usually healthy thin frame now bordered on skeletal. In dark unflattering jeans and a plain white blouse, she was far from the fashion plate everyone had copied their style from. Even her shoes, worn through leather boots with soft soles, hinted at the new life she’d found outside Arcadia.

  “Melanie,” Jocelyn said, the name a croak in her throat. “What are you doing here? Where’s Ja…”

  With speed and agility that contradicted her fragile appearance, Melanie hurried to silence Jocelyn with a hand to her lips. Bringing her free hand to her own mouth, she silently beseeched Matthew to remain quiet as well.

  Her eyes, wide with knowledge and fear, shot to the window. The trio entered Jocelyn’s room and quietly padded to the edge of the window. The sheer curtains offered an obscured view of several figures outside.

  “Committee members?” Jocelyn stared at the figures in disbelief.

  “In the Ruby District?” Matthew added.

  Committee members never visited the Ruby District, at least not for innocent social calls. If they venture into the neighborhood it was usually because they had business to attend to, usually unpleasant business.

  Jocelyn turned to Melanie. “They’ve come for you, haven’t they?”

  “Any other reason they’d leave their cushy and affluent Diamond District to roam our crumby streets?” Matthew sounded bitter and angry as he continued to stare out the window.

  “We have to hide you.” Jocelyn reached out to grab Melanie’s hand to take her… where? Where in the world could she hide a human being effectively enough to fool the all-knowing and all-seeing Committee?

  Melanie quickly settled the questions with a firm yank of her hand and a firmer, “No.” The single word seemed to grate up her throat where once a beautiful feminine voice rang out.

  Jocelyn looked at her, mesmerized by the changes brought on in such a short amount of time. Beyond the changes to her appearances, Melanie was dramatically changed from the girl Jocelyn remembered. Hardened, her eyes were no longer wide with innocence. They lacked the eagerness to discover the world and were left with only the darkness of desperate determination.

  Glancing down at their joined hands, Jocelyn could feel Melanie’s hardening right down to her hands. Once so soft and perfectly manicures, they were now rough and callused. Even her grip was strong, almost painful.

  “They’re going to come here, Melanie,” Jocelyn whispered. “They know you left with my brother. I can’t let them find you.”

  “They were here just before you arrived,” Jocelyn said. “I was hiding down the street. They were in here for a while, so I finally left.”

  Jocelyn could not hide her anger. She felt violated. Why did she not even know? They could walk in just like that when they felt like it without a knock or papers. Jocelyn walked from one bedroom to the other checking to see what had been touched. How dare they just enter a home on vague suspicions. How dare they go through her parents’ things. She breathed a sigh of relief. It appeared nothing had been touched.

  “I don’t even see where they could have been here,” Jocelyn finally said to Matthew and Melanie. And then she saw it when she lifted an old flower vase on the bookshelf. The indentation of where the vase had stood for years was slightly out-of-place. It was so subtle, so slight, no one would have been able to notice, if they were not as familiar as Jocelyn was with her own home. She looked up, the realization that the Committee members were in her home, dawning on her. She, her parents, and her sister Jade were not safe.

  “They can be undetectable,” Jocelyn said. “These are the Committee members we don’t see on panels. They’re the ones we don’t know much about. All I know is they wear these leather bands, which Jacob and I have been trying to figure out. If only we can get one of those bands to take a closer look…”

  “Mel,” Jocelyn said. “What are you doing here, in Arcadia, in my house? How did you get back?”

  “Jacob has honed his navigation abilities and was able to guide us back. Many of us made it in.”

  “Many? Who came with you?”

  “Others who’ve been banished. They all wanted to come back.”

  Jocelyn shoved her fingers through her damp bangs, clearing her forehead of the sticky strands. “My God, Melanie. Do you realize how dangerous it is for you to be here? People who have been banished are never heard from again.”

  “We’re not afraid.”

  “Why is Jacob not with you? Is he safe?”

  “He wanted to be here, to see you. He has so much to tell you before you turn eighteen.” Melanie sat down on a chair, a look of exhaustion overcame her delicate features.

  “Then why isn’t he here?” Jocelyn fought the panic that slowly brewed in her gut. “Why did you make it here and he didn’t? Is it because of them?” she pointed to the window and the Committee members outside.

  Melanie remained silent, her eyes darting from Jocelyn to the window to the room Jacob had once slept in. Guilt and remorse veiled her gaze, denting the determination that had been there since her arrival.

  “Melanie,” Jocelyn whimpered. “Did he make it?”

  “He made it in,” she offered tentatively. Her hand absently rose to rub at the scratches on her arm.

  Jocelyn’s heart pounded in fear as she took in the bruises that accompanied the scratches and scrapes. “And…?”

  “We realized we were being followed. We’d
just entered the Ruby District. They closed in, Committee members, most likely Enforcers, the craziest ones of the bunch.”

  Jocelyn stared in disbelief. How had she not noticed the tear in Melanie’s blouse, the dirt at the cuffs? Her boots were caked in mud, her pixie cut, disheveled and dirty.

  “A few guys distracted them, answered silly questions and tried to stall them as long as they could. It was an unbelievably risky move to make; any of them could have been taken right then and there.

  Melanie put her hand to Jocelyn’s shoulder. “They’d do anything for your brother. They love him, trust him and would lay their life down for him. He’s become a remarkable leader of the Resistance. We’re made up of those who were banished, even those who are still here, but want to abolish the need for a Life’s Plan. We want people to have the right to choose what their destiny is, rather than be given it by some Committee, and the harsh consequences for not following one’s Life’s Plan.”

  “I did not know there is such a group,” Matthew said. He looked at Jocelyn, but Jocelyn was not looking at him. She was looking down, worry lining her forehead.

  “There is such a group,” Melanie said. “It is small, but it is growing.”

  Jocelyn shook her head, wanting to be pleased by the admiration and adoration her brother had found on the outside, but her fear for his safety left only room for dread.

  “We traveled at night so we could not be seen. It was Jacob’s plan for us to stop by the house of one of the Resistance members and gather supplies, change clothes so we can blend in. On our way here, we passed by my house and I wanted to stop in to say a quick hello to my family. Inside I found my mother, sitting stiff and straight on the sofa, her hands crossed in her lap. I can still see her, so terrified, paralyzed. She didn’t even react to my entrance. I knew something was wrong. I should have backed out right then. All of my time on the outside had taught me to trust my instincts, but I was so excited to be home, to see my mom, that I ignored my gut and walked right into the trap. Two Enforcers grabbed me. Another two held onto my mom as she went hysterical.”

  “And Jacob?”

  “He heard the struggle and screams from inside and ran in.” Tears lined her eyes and her lips trembled. “I wish I’d not brought him with me. I wish I’d been fast enough to warn him, to tell him to leave, but he was caught… all because of me.”

  Jocelyn feared asking, rendering her voice small and weak. “What did they do with him?”

  “Jacob fought, Jocelyn. He fought like I’d never seen him fight before. I turned on my captor, clawing, biting, hitting and kicking whatever I could. Jacob managed to fight the guys off me.”

  Her hand trailed down Jocelyn’s arm to take her hand. “I’m so sorry. He told me to run. It was all so chaotic, so hectic. My mom was screaming, my head pounded from a blow I’d taken to the ear and Jacob was still fighting one of them and…”

  “He’s still back there somewhere…”

  “He slipped me a tiny sheet of paper. It was so important to him that you see it, that you know he came for you.”

  “The small blue heart.”

  Melanie nodded.

  “And where is he now?”

  The small almost imperceptible shake of her head sent shivers down Jocelyn’s neck.

  “We don’t know. We were supposed to just come in to deliver his message to you and now…”

  Jocelyn turned to Matthew. “What can they do to him? He was banished. What do they do to those who dare return to Arcadia?”

  Matthew shrugged and Jocelyn turned back to Melanie.

  “I don’t know,” Melanie said. “None of us know, and, quite frankly, after the hell we went through on the outside, few of us cared about the consequences of returning. The world is so vastly different once you step outside Arcadia; unimaginably different.”

  Matthew’s eyes widened with interest. “Different - how?”

  Chapter 4

  Melanie’s face went blank. Her eyes frosted over, as though re-living her experiences of the outside world.

  “The world you know here, Arcadia, it’s like a huge movie set; an immense sound stage. The beauty and perfection you live in is all contrived. It’s plotted out and planned. It’s from another time, a time from someone’s memory, someone’s past, like an old movie set in a gentler time of innocence. Even what you have here in the Ruby District is perfect, though less extravagant than the Diamond District. It’s the perfect place to build childhood memories, memories you can cherish, but outside…”

  She took a deep breath and her eyes narrowed. “There is no pretty little Main Street outside; no delicate little flowers in perfect flower boxes, no immaculate little picket fences. Outside the world is filled with poverty and violence. Danger lurks everywhere, day and night. There is so much to be wary of all the time. Every step is taken with caution.

  “Unlike Arcadia, vast open spaces stretch out as far as you can see; spaces with only dirt, wilderness and emptiness. The void can become unbearable. After the apocalypse, the only world where we can see green rolling hills, clean streets, safe neighborhoods, restaurants, movie theaters, everything you see here in Arcadia; is here in Arcadia. There are pockets of nature, pockets of civilization out there, but few as nice as Arcadia, but is it worth the price to live here when it means you don’t have the freedom to choose your destiny?”

  “Thanks for not sugar coating it,” Matthew said with a hint of sarcasm. “I’ve always wondered what it was like outside of Arcadia, but no one who has ever gone outside has been back to tell us. I always thought it was better, it’s like an adventure…”

  “It would serve no purpose to lie to you. I had to grow up fast out there. Forget about being Daddy’s little princess. Out there you have to struggle just to eat…or get eaten…”

  At that, Jocelyn and Matthew shot a glimpse at each other.

  Melanie cleared her throat. “The laws of Arcadia and civilization does not apply to the world outside. You will find people driven to do things they normally would not do, just to survive.”

  Jocelyn’s mouth dropped wide open. For a moment, the room was filled with silence.

  “But at least you had Jacob,” Matthew offered, taking Jocelyn’s hand in his. “You would never have been together had you stayed in Arcadia.”

  “Yeah,” Melanie muttered. Her eyes shadowed in sadness.

  “Was your love worth it?” Jocelyn insisted.

  “The banishment is for life, Jocelyn. It’s not like being sent to your room for not eating your vegetables. You can’t see your family again. You can’t see your friends again. You can never return home. You ask me if it’s worth it?” She shrugged and suddenly looked even more old and tired. “I can’t really say what sacrifices you should or should not make for love. Jacob and I grew closer on the outside. We had no choice if we wanted to survive, but the struggle put a constant strain on our relationship. Our love was strong and we managed to make it through the difficult time. Our respect and admiration for one another grew with every challenge. Can yours?”

  “Of course it can,” Matthew blurted out. “I don’t want to go through life missing out on the only love I’ve ever known. I don’t want to let some stupid Committee make a Life’s Plan that’s going to dictate how I should live my life.” He turned to Jocelyn. “I want to go. My love for you is worth it. My desire to be with you is worth it the challenges we’ll face.”

  Jocelyn held his gaze a moment and turned away. Her love for him was strong. It had always been. And she was strong, a fighter, a survivor, but… If Melanie and Jacob could have such difficulties, could she and Matthew really make it?

  Her gaze swept over Melanie; the gaunt features, the chopped off hair, the dirt…

  Melanie fanned her hands out on either side of her, inviting Jocelyn to have a good long look at the effects of life outside Arcadia.

  “Is it worth it to you, Jocelyn,” Melanie challenged.

  “I don’t know,” she mumbled.

  “Joc
elyn. “Matthew reached out to her. “If you don’t go, I’ll…”

  “Would you go alone?” Melanie interjected.

  Matthew stared blankly at her.

  “If you leave Arcadia just to be together, it won’t be enough. You have to stop romanticizing this and find a bigger, stronger reason to leave. The outside will test you…more than you can imagine.” Her eyes darted back and forth between the young couple. “You’ll face things, almost on a daily basis, that will make it hard to love one another. Hunger and fatigue can wear away romantic desires fast enough. Fear can leave you with little patience or tolerance. The cold, the rain, the heat of the noon day sun can wear away that fuzzy warm feeling you two now share. Instead of longing for his arms around you, you long for a cozy blanket.” She turned to Matthew. “Instead of her kiss, you long for a meal.” She turned back to Jocelyn. “Instead of lying beside him, you long for a soft bed to sleep in.”

  Jocelyn eyed Matthew, uncertainty filling her.

  “All of this without the help, advice or support from your family and friends,” Melanie added. “The first months all we had was each other to rely on, to get answers from.”

  Jocelyn let out a long tired sigh.

  “I hated the Life’s Plan I got. I was insulted by the notion that the Committee didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, who I loved. How dare they try to separate me from Jacob, but…”

  Jocelyn and Matthew waited as Melanie turned away, collecting her thoughts and emotions. Her hands clenched and unclenched, as did her jaw when she turned back to them. “I understand now why so many blindly and faithfully accept their Life’s Plan without a fuss, regardless of how unpleasant it is. I understand why they choose to stay within the protective walls of Arcadia.” She reached out to lean her hand on the wall, her legs suddenly shaky, her face pale.

  “Life is blissfully easy here,” she whispered as her eyes rolled back into her head.

  Matthew had just enough time to reach her, catching her in his arms before she could slam face first into the floor.