“Of course. With all my heart,” Laura answered without any hesitation. She knew to the marrow of her bones Mason was the only one for her. “That’s what makes this all the more frustrating. I keep telling myself he’s doing this because he was spooked by the whole stalking thing too, but this is too much.” She wiped her eyes with the rough paper towel. “Ugh. These things are like wiping with a grocery bag. Anyway, I’m just glad that Roy is so likable and we get along. I feel less like I’m being babysat and more like I’m hanging out with a friend. That’s what I tell myself, anyhow.”
“Sweetie.” Jill rubbed Laura’s upper arm, “Maybe you do need some space, but it sounds like you’ll have to go to an extreme to get it. I don’t think Mason will allow himself to give up his control otherwise. Do you have family you can go stay with?”
Laura shrugged. “I could always try my parents.” She touched herself up in the mirror, glad she hadn’t cried too hard. No swelling to hide. “I don’t know. I’ll think of something. We should get back out there before they both realize we’re missing.”
“Ha!” Jill barked. “I have a feeling Craig is talking Mason’s ear off about a new iPhone app or something. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” She opened the door and ushered Laura out. Roy was waiting for them at the opening of the dining room. Mason had realized she was gone.
Laura was hot. When the meal was over she was going to let Mason have it. Now he couldn’t trust her to go to the bathroom?
She froze as the realization hit her. This wasn’t about protection. Mason didn’t trust her. The hurt as emotion exploded in her chest was almost unbearable. She gripped Jill’s hand and yanked her back. “Take me home. Please.” The pitch of her voice rose with each syllable.
Laura needed to get out of there immediately or she was liable to have a full-blown meltdown in the middle of a very swanky restaurant.
Jill nodded and shuffled her out the staff door before either their boyfriends or Roy could catch them. It wasn’t until they had crossed the street and hailed a cab that Jill texted Craig that she had left.
“What are you telling him? Please don’t tell him I’m losing it!” The words came out strangled with panic.
“No. I’m just telling him that you got a text from your boss and asked me to go with you. I think I’ll let him know you just didn’t want to interrupt them…or something like that.” Jill’s thumbs moved at lightning speed as she shot the message off.
“Where am I taking you, ladies?” the cabby asked.
Jill rattled off her apartment address. “Stay with me until later. That way you can decompress and get your head together. What the hell happened back there? Weren’t you feeling better?” She pulled Laura’s head down onto her lap to stroke her hair. The gesture always worked for Jill when she was tense.
Laura curled up into fetal position and started bawling. For the entire drive, Jill just let Laura cry, which Laura was truly grateful for.
Chapter Forty Three
The cab pulled up in front of Jill’s building in SoHo. Jill waited for the cabby to make change before climbing out of the car. “Upstairs. Tea. Let’s go.” Jill grabbed Laura’s hand and pulled her into the building. Laura was so happy the apartment was on the first floor.
With all the swiftness of a woman hiding a fugitive, Jill had Laura in the apartment with the door locked behind them in no time.
“I’m going to put a pot on to boil. Spill.” Jill sat Laura down on the overstuffed sofa facing the tiny kitchen.
“He doesn’t trust me. That’s the reason for all of this nonsense. I didn’t tell him outright about Frank and any involvement I had with him. When I started getting the weird letters and gifts, I thought I’d be able to handle everything myself. Turns out I couldn’t.” A lone tear slipped down her cheek. She dashed it away with her sleeve.
“Were you and Frank a thing when you and Mason got back together?” Jill called out from the kitchen. She was busying herself looking for her misplaced teabags.
“Frank and I were never a thing. We just had casual sex whenever we were both single and had the itch. At least that’s what I thought we had.” The memory of the giant, scrawled poem on her living room wall flashed before her eyes, sending a shudder through her body.
“Frank and I had hooked up for the last time the day before I was scheduled to interview Mason. After that we were done.” Laura hugged a white, furry throw pillow to her chest.
A vibration went off in Laura’s purse. The caller I.D. flashed Mason’s name. She hastily sent him to voicemail and shut the phone off. She didn’t want him finding her right now.
Jill settled onto the couch with two steaming mugs. Handing one off to Laura, she spoke. “That seems a little much. Are you sure there isn’t anything else that is making him so clingy?”
Laura sat back and thought. She had spent days analyzing her relationship from every angle to find an answer to that very question. “I can’t think of anything. Except for the first time we were together. I walked in on him in a compromising position and bolted.” The hot tea felt warm on her hands. The taste was even better. “That’s the only thing I can think of that he may be projecting or something. I don’t want to count that though because we were supposed to have moved past that.”
Laura started to cry again. Deep down she already knew how to handle this. “I love him so much and wanted us to work out.” She buried her face in the pillow and sobbed. Eight years of missing his touch, his warmth, the way he laughed, and when she got him back it was as if life had straightened out again. The idea that her relationship was about to combust around her again was too much to handle.
Her crying turned almost to convulsions as her body shivered and stomach muscles pulsed tightly around her insides. Laura booked it to the kitchen and dove into the trashcan. The tea and everything she had eaten that morning lay in a sloppy pool in Jill’s trash bag. She rested her sweaty forehead on her forearm and drew in ragged breaths to calm herself.
Without saying a word, Jill approached Laura with a glass of water and a damp rag. Once Laura was clean and hydrated, Jill pulled her friend in for a tight hug. She hated seeing anyone upset, and to have one of her closest friends a hysterical, puking mess was too much to handle.
“Do you want my advice?” Jill asked.
Laura chuckled. “Go ahead. I’m fresh out of ideas.”
“Take your space. Figure out a way to get away for a bit and be by yourself. No man. Maybe then you can figure out exactly what you want out of your relationship.”
Laura stared at the floor, processing Jill’s suggestion. “You’re right. I need to force this to happen. I’ll go home. My parents are always up my butt about getting out of New York, anyway.” A plan was forming, and she was feeling more relaxed already. “Do you think I can crash here for the night while I get my shit in order?”
Jill lit up. “Absolutely. The couch pulls out, and I can lend you some pajamas later. They’ll be about six inches too short, but you won’t have to sleep in your jeans.” Jill’s phone buzzed. “It’s Craig. He’s on his way home. Let’s figure out what to make for dinner, hm?”
Chapter Forty Four
Mason paced up across his kitchen. Laura had just bailed on him, no warning, nothing. He dialed her phone five different times, immediately going to voicemail each time. She didn’t show up on his friend finder app. Mason was starting to get angry.
She knew how much he worried about her. How could she do this to him? Mason’s need for control was overwhelming. The drive to keep Laura safe had turned into an obsession. She didn’t tell him she was involved with someone when they got together and didn’t tell him that that same man was following her around and breaking into her apartment.
Laura had hidden so much it made him wonder if there was anything else. He figured he deserved it though. He had so completely and thoroughly destroyed her trust the first time around that for him to expect her to let that go so easily was really naïve on his part.
&nb
sp; Mason sank down into his couch and hid his head in his hands. Fixing things and making it up to her was the only course of action to take, and the only way to do that was to back off. The thought of being away from her again, for any length of time, was incredibly painful. He had gone eight long years pining for her. Would he be able to step back now?
“Fuck. What do I do?” he whispered to himself. He knew the answer to that question, but he didn’t have to like it.
Chapter Forty Five
“Telecommute? What the hell?” Daniel had been less than thrilled at the news that his star writer needed to leave.
“Daniel, I don’t want to quit. I just need to get out of New York. You have me flying all over Hell and Creation for most of these interviews anyway, so what does it matter if I’m in the office or not?” Laura pulled her phone out of her pocket and pulled up her calendar. “Look, next week you have me flying out to San Francisco for three days. The following week I’m in Boston for two days, and then immediately I go to Atlanta. I had a nice break for the holidays, but you have me totally balls to the wall. I won’t be here.”
Laura stared expectantly at Dennis. It was true he wasn’t a fan of any of his staff not being in-house. He kept them all tightly tethered to the office, but Laura had done so well and made him so much money, he had to say yes.
“Fine. Since you’ll still be driving distance away, I’ll allow it. But I still expect you back here once in a while for the occasional staff meeting.” He raised his arms just slightly out in front of him. When he realized what he’d almost done he dropped his hands and strolled behind his desk.
“Why, Daniel. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you wanted to give me a hug,” Laura teased.
“That’s the beauty of it, kid. You do know better. Now get out of here and take care of your move. I just wish you would tell me why.” Daniel sat down at his desk and woke up his computer. “Not that it’s any of my business, but this sudden interest in moving to the Berkshires wouldn’t have anything to do with that boyfriend of yours, would it?” The question was legitimate in his mind. He had seen far too many of his female staff put relationships ahead of their jobs.
“No. Well, not really. I just need a change of scenery, but I love working for this magazine, so I didn’t want to have to cut my ties to do it.” The half-truth should be enough. The idea of involving her boss in her personal life in any way, shape, or form felt awkward and icky. She had a feeling Daniel felt the same way.
“I understand. What with the mess with Frank, I can see why you’d need to get away. I’m just glad you wanted to keep me and the magazine included in those plans. Godspeed, kid.” And that was that. Daniel turned back to his computer before things could get too mushy.
Laura recognized that was the closest to a warm moment she and her boss would ever have. It felt good to know how much her editor valued her, even if he had to say it in a roundabout sort of way.
She shut Daniel’s office door on her way on and walked down the hall to her office. She had decided to leave in the morning and had to rent a small U-Haul to get the job done. Thankfully, packing her office would be easy. All she needed were the few notebooks she had lying around and a few other odds and ends.
Sitting at her desk, she sifted through her desk drawers to make sure she didn’t miss anything. That’s when she stumbled on the pig book Mason had sent her. It was tucked in the bottom drawer and forgotten about.
She thumbed through the bright, glossy pages, stopping when she saw a little pink piglet or something interesting. She flipped to the chapter on castration and found Mason’s sticky note still tucked in with his little joke scrawled on it. It was all she could do to keep from crying again. Too many tears had been shed over the last three days, and she hadn’t even officially broken up with the man yet.
She tossed the book in her “Take” box. It would at least serve as a sweet memory. The metal-framed photo of the two of them in Switzerland was coming too.
Even though Laura had made up her mind that this was what she needed, the idea that she was losing Mason a second time was overwhelming and nauseating. There were moments where she wanted to back out, but when she asked herself if she could marry him tomorrow, she would break out in a cold sweat. Every time.
With a sniff, she quickly packed the rest of her box and went to say her goodbyes. Michelle, Daniel, and the rest of the office was easy enough, but stopping at the reception desk to say goodbye to Tammy was the worst.
“You can’t go!” Tammy whined into Laura’s shoulder. The two women had been stuck in a hug for the last two minutes and showed no signs of letting go.
“I have to. I’ll be back once in a while to check in. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.” Laura was very careful about what she told Tammy. She had been getting very close to Roy, and as of that moment, he was still employed by Mason, even though she had given him the slip that morning.
“Take care then.” Tammy pulled herself away and wiped her tear-streaked face with her sleeve.
With a wave, Laura was off. She was meeting Jill to finish packing her apartment. She hadn’t heard from Mason since she escaped The Guggenheim and hoped her luck would hold out a few hours longer so she could get her things packed, on the truck, and over to Jill’s house.
Chapter Forty Six
“So have you told him yet?” Jill asked. The two women were stuck in the packed U-Haul, waiting on traffic to move.
“No. I was going to call him once we got back to your place.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t just show up at your apartment,” Jill observed.
Laura nodded. “Yeah. Me too. I’m amazed my luck held out. I wasn’t sure what I would do or say if he did, and I sure as hell didn’t want to have a scene.”
Would it have been as bad as all that? Laura felt like maybe she was too far into her own head. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?” This was a question she had asked herself several times over the past three days. It would be nice to hear someone else answer it for a change.
“Honestly? I think distance will be good for you both. I just hope it doesn’t become permanent. All this drama aside, I think you two are good together.” Jill nudged Laura. “Just go home and enjoy your parents.”
“This is the second time we’re splitting up. I don’t think that qualifies as ‘good together.’” Laura perked up as the cars began to move. They were only four blocks from Jill’s building, and it was taking forever to get there.
Laura’s phone vibrated on the seat next to her. Jill grabbed it to see who was calling. “It’s Mason.”
Those two words filled Laura with the kind of dread usually reserved for dental visits and sick relatives.
“Do you want me to answer?” Jill asked.
“Go ahead. Put it on speaker.” The last thing she needed was a ticket for talking on her phone. “Hello?”
“Laura?” The voice coming through the speaker was quiet and lacked its usual mirth and confidence.
“Hi, Mason. How are you?” Laura could feel her conviction wavering. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make her drop everything and say no.
“I’ve been better. Do you have time to talk?” Mason asked.
“Yeah, of course. I was going to call you in a bit anyway.”
For a moment there was an awkward and deafening silence in the truck cab. Jill tried to look anywhere but at Laura. Being Laura’s support was one thing; being privy to the demise of her relationship was another.
“What happened the other day? You took off and didn’t bother saying anything to me or anyone else…except Jill. Is there something you need to tell me?”
God, he sounds like a lost child. Laura cleared the knot from her throat before answering. “Yeah. I think so.” She opened her mouth to speak, and hesitated. Did she really want to pull the trigger here? “Mason, I can’t do this anymore.”
A long stretch of silence lingered on the line. “Mason? Are you there?”
> “Yeah. I am.” He coughed to hide how upset he truly was. “I think you’re right. Maybe this won’t work out.”
Laura was so taken back she nearly hit the stopped car in front of her. She looked over at Jill, who looked just as surprised as she felt. “Oh. Um, good. We’re on the same page then. I guess.”
“It seems like it.” Mason’s voice had grown cold. If he were to make it through this phone call he would have to go completely Vulcan.
“Thank you, Mason. I’m not sure there’s anything left to say.” Who was she kidding? There were a million things left to say. The most important being: I love you. But the words wouldn’t come. The situation just didn’t feel appropriate.
“Of course, Laura. Take care.” The line went dead.
Jill put the phone to sleep and just waited. Several minutes passed in which neither of them said anything. Finally, Jill had to hear something other than the rumble of the engine. “Are you going to be all right?” She knew it was a stupid question to ask, but she wasn’t sure how to help her friend.
Laura had gone numb. In a two-minute phone call, the last thirteen years of her life had just gone up in smoke. Mason had been a part of her life in one capacity or another since she was eighteen years old, and now he was gone. “I hope you don’t mind, Jill, but I’m going to leave tonight.” Staying in the city even one minute more than necessary was going to destroy her, and she didn’t want to go to pieces. Besides, she was leaving in the morning anyway.
“Of course. I’ll have Craig meet us at the curb to give you your things and say goodbye.”
***
Mason stared at his cellphone screen. The happy faces of him and Laura stared back, taunting him. With a roar he hurled the device across the room. Without a second thought he had just let her go. What happened to wanting to fight for their relationship? Wasn’t that supposed to be the plan? Mason sank to his knees and struggled to keep his bleeding pieces together. His life, his future, had slipped between his fingers and was gone.
SEAN: A Mafia Romance (The Callahans Book 3) Page 105
