“Would you prefer I talk about her ass? Because it’s mighty beautiful too. Not that I was checking out your girl, bro.”
“Why do you have all this food on your arm?” Flor interjects, tracing a tattoo of strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, tomatoes, lettuce—pretty much every fruit and vegetable she would find at a farmer’s market—connected by a long vine that extends over his entire arm. As much as she would enjoy hearing Collin explain their relationship, she decides it wouldn’t be worth the hurt if he dismisses it.
He regards them momentarily then says plainly, “My parents were pickers. So were my older brothers Javi and Oscar. My aunt and uncle and cousins too.” He points to the fruit. “Took almost a year to get this right. It’s a record of everything they ever picked in the surrounding farms. If you look closely, their initials are in each one.”
Flor bends down to get a closer look.
“I want the memory of their work to be somewhere. My dad died out there picking for next to nothing. This is my tribute to him.”
She touches his arm gently. “I think it’s cool you did that.”
He pats her hand and calls out to the bartender. “Très cervezas, por favor.”
As soon as a waitress brings them over, he hands one to Collin and Flor and holds up the bottle to toast. “For my father, whose work made mine possible.”
Flor takes a drink thinking of her own father, wondering what tribute, if any, he deserved.
Chapter 30
The last bite of très leches stares back at them. “You should have it,” Collin insists.
Flor shakes her head. “If I do, I’m going to explode. Besides, it’s your birthday.”
“Which, thanks to you, I’ve celebrated twice. Now eat it.”
“No,” she resists. “Really, as it is, I won’t be able to wake up in the morning.”
The crowd has thinned out, leaving only one other table occupied and a couple at the bar. Eddie walks by and asks, “What are you two lovebirds arguing about?”
“Flor thinks I should eat the last bite.”
“So do as your lady says. Don’t you know better than to disagree with such a fine woman?”
“You two talk this out. Please direct me to the ladies room,” she says to Eddie. He points to a door at the back of the kitchen. She looks back and sees them bent over the table in deep discussion. What she wouldn’t give to find out what they’re saying. Could Collin be confessing his true feelings for her, or explaining why he doesn’t or can’t date her? Maybe Eddie is more than acquainted with his friend’s “complicated” situation. But why would he be referring to her as Collin’s woman?
When she returns to the table, the two childhood friends are laughing, the only remaining crumb of cake gone. She hears the cowboy say, “She was so terrified. I swear I thought she was crying.”
“You’re not telling Eddie about that hideous possum, are you?” Flor asks. “I’m glad you can find my terror so amusing. No creature should be that ugly,” she insists smiling at both of them.
“Chica, it’s all good. My man Collin here isn’t any better. You should ask him about the time we came across a skunk when we were ten.”
“You know I will.” Flor takes her seat. “I promised Collin this dinner would be on me, so make sure you give me the bill tonight.”
“Nah, chica. It’s on the house. Thanks to you, I finally got to do something for his birthday,” Eddie says. “Next time I’ll let you get it.” He winks at her.
“You know you’ve just hijacked his birthday gift from me, which means I have to get him something else.” Flor winks back. She takes a long pull from her beer. “Got any ideas what your old friend could want for his birthday?”
Eddie chuckles. “I’m sure you can think of something.”
Of course she has countless thoughts about what she could give Collin, but those stem more from her wants than his—at least that’s what Flor tells herself. Despite the number of hours she’s spent with him, Flor realizes there’s still so much she doesn’t know.
“Why did Eddie keep referring to me as your woman?” She asks as he pulls the truck out of the small parking lot reserved for bank customers. Light drops of rain start to fall against the windshield.
“He likes to kid around. I think it’s his way of being familiar,” he answers without bothering to look at her.
“But he knows about your situation, right?” Flor bites her lip. She really hates that term. A relationship isn’t a situation. It’s a way of being with another person. Flor tilts her head against the headrest.
“Eddie knows everything about me. He’s my closest friend.”
Flor smiles. “I really like him. His devotion to his family is admirable. I wish mine . . . .” Her voice drifts off. What she was about to say is that she wishes her family had a similarly strong bond. Eddie’s family’s hard work and commitment to each other brought about a closeness that she didn’t and couldn’t have with hers. Sure, it appeared that way to some given how devoted her parents said they were. But their actions proved differently, especially her mother’s. At least her father made some effort, but still. Would dedicated parents really have acted so selfishly?
Flor bites back those words. Like Collin, there is only so much she’s comfortable sharing. But why? So she can reinvent herself the way he seems to want to? Can you even do that if you can’t come to terms with who you were or who you’ve become?
“I’m not used to you being so quiet,” he tells Flor when they reach Belo Horizonte, the rain falling steadily now.
“Consider it your birthday gift.” Flor looks over at him and smiles. “It’s not like I can get you anything else. I don’t know what you want.”
“Who really knows what they want?”
“Don’t you have some idea?”
“Do you?”
Flor pauses. The gate is open, but Collin doesn’t put the truck in gear.
I want to be free of my parents, she wants to say. To be so far out of their reach that whatever they do can’t affect me anymore. I want to live my life without wondering when the next shoe will drop that will leave me uncertain of my future. More than anything, I never want this summer to end because I’ve never known a greater happiness than being here.
“My whole life I’d had everything I ever wanted,” she finally says. “I didn’t have the opportunity to learn what was right for me. I’ve spent the last few years trying to make sense of it all.”
Collin looks over at Flor. “And what did you come up with?”
Without hesitating she replies, “That life is really unfair and moments when you’re truly happy are rare unless you learn to cherish them.”
He opens his mouth to speak but then looks away. His hand clutches the knob of the stick shift. The only sound comes from the windshield wipers, which can barely keep up with the downpour.
“You never answered my question. Do you know what you want?”
Before Flor can answer, Collin moves the truck through the gate. Their mutual silence begins to fill the small space between them with so much tension that Flor can feel it in her stomach. She hadn’t intended for the night to end on such a serious note. Flor brings her fingertips to the window to trace to the raindrops sliding haphazardly along the glass.
“I know what I want,” she whispers. Her voice is so low that she doesn’t think Collin can hear, but he does. He stops the truck and turns it off.
“Why’d you stop?” She asks.
“Because I want to hear what you have to say.”
“I didn’t think you heard me that time. Besides, you can listen and drive.”
He looks at her expectantly.
“Why are you so curious?” She asks.
“Why don’t you just say it?”
“This circular conversation is trying, Collin. I asked you first, then you turn the tables and expect me to answer. It really isn’t fair.”
“You said that life was unfair.”
“Yeah, but you don’t get to make it th
at way for others. God, you’re so infuriating the way you deflect and close yourself off. How does your friend Eddie, who’s so open and literally wears his heart for everyone to see . . . ,” she pauses, “I mean, how do you two get along?”
Collin runs a hand through his hair. “That’s a fair question. We’ve seen each other at our worst. I guess you can say that he is the least judgmental person I know. I trust him.”
“And you don’t trust anyone else? What about your parents?”
“Of course I trust them, but parents often have expectations. It’s hard if you fear disappointing them.”
Flor nods, understanding perfectly. She reaches out and wipes the condensation from the windshield. In the far distance, she can make out the large magnolia tree. “If you’re waiting to for me to answer, you’re going to be waiting a long time. I can be as stubborn as you.”
“I highly doubt that, Flor.”
Damn. The way he says her name. His tongue doesn’t curl around the ‘r’ as it’s supposed to, but the warmth in his voice when it comes out liquefies all that’s inside her.
“Try me,” she challenges.
She folds her arms in front of her chest and stares back at him. It’s far easier than she thought it would be, as long as she can ignore the thoughts beginning to enter her mind—the first time she saw him when he delivered the package to her door; the way he handled himself with the horse; and the instant she caught him sleeping in the chair in the motel room. All those singular moments play in her mind and chip away at her resolve.
The young woman sighs. “I want what I can’t have.”
Collin nods. “I know what that’s like.”
It felt more like a confession than anything else either one could’ve said. Maybe she should’ve told him that he occupies almost every waking thought or that she finds herself thinking about him while masturbating. Or that she can’t wait to wake up at the ungodly hour of 4:30 every morning just to be able to spend time with him.
It’s not love. It’s most certainly infatuation though. Yet, it has the potential for more. That she’s sure of because she can feel it deep inside her. No matter how complicated his situation might be, there’s something very right about the way she feels about him. And this latter notion frustrates her more than anything else.
Flor slips her hand around the door handle and pulls it open.
“Wait. What are you doing?” Collin calls after her.
She keeps walking, the rain falling over her as if washing away her thoughts and feelings. Flor doesn’t want to live in a constant state of desire and frustration. If she’s learned one thing from her recent setback, it can only lead to misery. So maybe it’s time she own it so she can let it go. Perhaps that’s the answer.
A hand on her shoulder pulls Flor out of her mental preoccupation. She spins around to see Collin, his face obscured by the bright headlights. His t-shirt clings to him, completely soaked. Flor looks down and pulls at her own clothes. She laughs and looks up at the sky, the rain shower tickling her skin.
“Why’d you leave?” He asks.
“I couldn’t stay in the truck. I’m almost home anyway,” Flor says, pointing toward the road to the right of the tree. “I’ll walk from here.”
“But the rain. You’re drenched.”
“So are you,” she replies, an uncontainable excitement lifting the weight of the conflicting emotions that had overwhelmed her just moments ago. “Isn’t it lovely?” The young woman holds her arms out. “I love summer rainstorms.”
“It’s dark. I’ll get you home.”
“I’ll be fine,” she reassures him. Flor takes a step forward, wraps her hand around his neck and brings her cheek to his. “Thank you for a nice time,” she whispers softly.
Later she’ll ask herself why she didn’t let go at that very minute. It’s all she had to do, but she lingered, taking in the scent of the rain on his skin, which always smells of sandalwood and leather. It reminded her of lying in bed next to him, the heat and electricity that passed between them then just as strong as it is now. Her heart leaps into her throat, goosebumps form over her wet skin, and her stomach tightens. She relaxes her grip, but her body remains still. She’s too close for him not to feel her heart beating against his chest.
Collin doesn’t move either. They remain frozen in the moment, each too afraid to break the spell between them.
Flor’s breathing becomes more rapid as she brushes the corner of her lips against his cheek. It’s not quite a kiss. She knows she’s given him a final chance to pull away from her, wish her a good night, and maybe thank her for her company at dinner. But he doesn’t. She angles her head more and presses her warm lips against his cool, wet skin and trails it down to his full mouth. She loses herself in the soft feel of his lips, their kiss tentative and gentle at first, like new lovers discovering each other for the first time.
Collin wraps his arms around her waist and grips her to him, their kisses becoming more urgent by the second. She can feel his desire press up against her hip and leans into him more, her heart pounding against her chest.
All of a sudden, he releases her and takes a step back, his breathing uneven, his eyes apologetic. “I’m sorry, Flor. I shouldn’t have . . . .”
“Don’t be. I’m not,” she replies, feeling emboldened by the act, her eyes moving from his eyes to his lips. “You’d asked me what I wanted, now you know.”
She closes the distance between them and traces his lips with her finger. “I would like to kiss you again,” she whispers.
Flor searches Collin’s face and reads the conflict in his eyes. Perhaps she should’ve approached him more cautiously, but her thoughts had all but shut down by now. Instead, the adrenalin courses through her veins, and she can feel her arousal at her core. Every part of Flor is screaming for more. Just one more kiss.
But he reaches for her first, his kisses demanding more from her than she had of him. His teeth tug at her bottom lip, leaving her needy and wet with desire.
Flor wraps her arms around his neck and presses her body against his, as their kisses become more fervent and possessive. Collin slides his tongue into her mouth while his hands move over her firm ass. He groans into her mouth, loving the way she tastes to him.
He can’t admit how long he’s wanted to do this, to feel her lips on him, to touch and possess her this way. Eddie pushed every one of his buttons tonight, knowing that his friend would be bothered by him flirting with the girl for whom he admitted to having feelings. He did it on purpose. To prove to Collin that he didn’t have it in him to resist her, even though he swore he would.
It shouldn’t have been a date. It was supposed to be a birthday dinner with a friend. He preferred to see her that way in order to keep her at a safe distance. But Eddie had all but ruined that for him when he put his arm around her and told her she was beautiful. That’s what he’s wanted to do all along, but couldn’t.
Then she asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and he couldn’t get it out of his head. It’s the only thing he’s wanted for the past five weeks, no matter how many times he reminded himself it was never going to happen between them.
Collin knew as soon as she asked what her answer would be. When she went to the bathroom, Eddie assured him that she was into him. Naturally he denied it, suggesting that just because she wasn’t falling for Eddie’s charms didn’t mean it had to do with him. That self-effacement wasn’t an act. Collin didn’t want to allow himself to believe she could like him because he didn’t want to deal with the consequences.
Fuck.
Now this incredible creature is in his arms, and it’s the most perfect experience he’s ever known with a woman. He shouldn’t, no, he can’t let it happen again. If only . . . . Just one more, he tells himself, his lips closing down around hers. Her low moans stir his desire more as the rain continues to cascade down around them. This couldn’t have been better. If only . . . .
Shit.
This time he releases Flor, her l
ips still parted, her eyes glazed over. Another time, another place and it would’ve been incredible, he assures himself. Even a few feet apart, the electric sparks pass between them. He can’t tell her now and risk ruining this moment for either one of them.
“Let me take you home,” he says, his voice hoarse with his desire for her.
She shakes her head. “Really, I’m alright.” Confusion crosses over her face, but she takes a deep breath and forces a smile. “Have a good night.”
Collin says nothing as she turns toward the direction of the house. He had admitted to her he’s not as brave as Eddie. Tonight he wishes he had been.
Chapter 31
“Happy birthday!” Marjorie wraps her arms around Collin and reaches up to kiss his cheek. “My baby boy is another year older.” She takes his face between her hands and squeezes. “Just as handsome and wonderful as ever.” She kisses his forehead before releasing him.
“Thanks, Mom. You know you already wished me a happy birthday two days ago.” Collin smiles at his mother, embarrassed but always warmed by her love.
Marjorie takes Collin’s hat out of his hand and steps to the side to allow him to enter the house. “But this is the first time I’ve seen you since your birthday. Don’t I get a little credit for bringing you into this world?”
“Of course,” he says. He pulls a small box out of his back pocket. “This is for you.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she kisses his cheek, “That’s so thoughtful.” Then, leading him into the breakfast nook, she declares to Gary, “We have the best son, honey. Look at this pretty bracelet.”
Collin’s mother dangles it in front of her husband, drawing his attention from some newspaper article. He examines it carefully and mutters his approval.
“Never mind your father. He’s only annoyed that he didn’t think of it first.” She takes away the newspaper and disappears, leaving father and son with nothing to discuss. If it weren’t for horses, they probably would have no connection, save for Marjorie. There’s little outside life on the ranch that they have in common, their mutual passion for horses being the only thing that keeps their relationship strong.
Blossoming Flower (Wildflowers Book 1) Page 10
