by Craig Jones
This drew everyone’s attention and had at least stopped them from continuously telling me how sorry they were, how brave Danny had been, that we were both heroes. The children were completely wrapped up in the operations going on outside and I had said it was okay if they watched from my bedroom window.
The troops brought supplies for us, and Jenny and Claire spent their time making endless cups of tea and coffee for them. Jenny especially seemed to have thrown herself into this task and had not spent more than five minutes in my company since I had returned with Sheila and John.
I thought about Nick’s request. At the end of the day I had to accept that these people were here to help us and to end the siege.
‘Yeah, tell him to come in.’
Nick left and went back out the front door. I could hear him speaking and then a tall, uniformed man came into the lounge. He was a big guy with a long, crooked nose, hair receding a little. I stood as he entered the room and he shook my hand with a certain amount of deference, even though I had to look up just to meet his eyes.
‘Good afternoon, sir. I am Captain Alistair Mitchell. I’d first of all like to say how sorry I am for your loss,’ he said as he dropped his eyes respectfully to the floor. He sighed. ‘You have both been incredibly brave, but I wish you’d have just stayed here.’
His voice was very deep and cultured, Oxford or Cambridge for sure.
‘And I wish you’d got here sooner,’ I replied sternly.
The tears came hard and without warning, and I put my hands over my face. I was still wearing my leather trousers and motorcycle boots and I knew that I stank. My t-shirt was soaked through with sweat.
‘We’re going to have to use your house as our base of operations until we secure the town. It would be preferable if your guests could remain here, too.’
I blinked away the tears and nodded. What else could I say? Could I handle being on my own in this house right now anyway?
‘We’ll complete a full search of the town, but if Usk is like the rest of the places we’ve cleaned up, it’ll be easy. They behave like pack animals and group together. That’s what’s made them so easy to exterminate.’
He was obviously trying to be reassuring that a single zombie wouldn’t suddenly emerge from one of the shops or houses in town in a week’s time. He was being a good guy and was trying to highlight the positive points.
I hardly paid any attention to what he’d said after hearing the news that the town would be thoroughly searched. If they looked…
No. That wouldn’t happen. I’d been careful.
‘Over the next couple of days, a lot of people are going to want to talk to you. I’ll be direct and say that some of these people will be critical that you and your brother left the safety of your house. However, I advise you to cooperate.’
‘What caused all this, Captain? What is it that caused my brother to die?’
‘I’m sorry, but at this point, I’m not at liberty to say.’
He nodded and left the room. Nick passed him in the doorway and then came into the lounge.
‘You okay?’ he asked; then he froze up. ‘Stupid question. I’m sorry, Matt.’
‘I know, thank you. I just…’
‘Don’t, mate. You can’t blame yourself. What you have done for us…’ he trailed off into deep breaths. I guess he was worried that if he started crying it would set me off again.
‘Look,’ I said, ‘Captain Mitchell wants us all to stay here for a few more days, so can you tell everyone to settle themselves in, but to stay out of Danny’s room. People will have to sleep on the sofas. But no one goes in there. Make sure they know that, okay?’
‘Of course. And thank you, Matt. Thank you for everything.’
It was in fact three days before Captain Mitchell returned to the house to inform us that Usk was now totally clear. It came as no surprise, as the news was full of reports of more and more towns and cities being declared safe. The zombie infestation was at an end.
The time we had together during those few days was weird. Everyone was naturally elated—the hell that had been just the other side of our gate had gone away forever—but they were also very much aware of the grief I was feeling. I was tired of their sympathies, though, and when I was not watching television, I sat on the decking alone with my thoughts. I think my guests had decided that I had earned the right to do whatever I liked right now, so nobody interrupted me or expected anything from me.
I heard the gates swing open and a heavy vehicle pull onto the driveway. The sky was a rolling mass of heavy, grey clouds. They looked ready to burst at any second, and the air was chilly and damp. Even under my blue hoody my arms were cold. I hadn’t felt fully warm ever since I had returned to the house without Danny.
Every now and again an involuntary shiver would run along the length of my body. I twisted to loosen my lower back, got to my feet and walked around the side of the house to the driveway, where the two guards that had been left to look after us were saluting Captain Mitchell. He spotted me approaching and dismissed his men, who re-positioned themselves just the other side of the gate.
‘Mister Hawkins. Good morning. I am sorry to disturb you, but would it be possible to speak to everyone?’
‘Yeah, sure,’ I replied, my disdain for what he represented and the failure I felt they were part of evident in my voice. ‘Follow me.’
‘Certainly.’
I indicated the front door and we walked side by side towards it. He stopped me just before I opened it.
‘We have very good people. People you can talk to. About what happened. If you feel it would be any help.’
‘I did need help. You weren’t here.’
‘Fine’, he said, stepping in closer to me. ‘But a time will come when you will need someone. I’ve seen it before.’
He handed me a card with a hand written phone number on the back.
I shrugged, opened the door and called for everyone to come into the lounge. I didn’t offer Mitchell a seat. Nick was the last to arrive and took his place in the same spot Danny had sat in when he had last been in this room.
‘Is this everyone?’ asked the Captain.
‘No,’ replied Nick. ‘My wife, Jenny, she’s going to stay upstairs with the children. They’ve seen and heard enough.’
‘I understand, sir. And some of what I have to say is a little sensitive. You will of course bring her up to speed?’
Nick nodded.
‘At this point in time, we know that two hundred and seventy two residents of Usk itself have lost their lives. If our figures are correct, that’s over ten per cent of the town. From what I have ascertained, Usk is a tight-knit community. Someone you know, possibly someone you know well or even a family member, may have perished. Not all of those people were killed because of the epidemic, not all of them became infected. There have been a number of automotive accidents, several domestic incidents and I am sorry to report, a few suicides. A lot of people left. Most who stayed locked themselves in basements, in lofts, anywhere that they knew to be a secure and safe hiding place.’
My thoughts returned to Missus Pound. She had surely been safe before she decided to be a hero.
‘On a bigger scale, it is estimated that there have been around one million casualties across Wales, Scotland and England. The exact figure will of course be determined over the coming weeks and, together with our international partners, we were able to ensure, completely, that the epidemic has not spread outside of Britain.’
He paused. He must have realised that this was a huge amount of information to take in over such a short period of time.
‘Usk and the surrounding areas, as far as Cardiff, Newport, Swansea, have been officially declared safe zones. In fact, there are very few areas left that have not seen the eradication of the infected population. For the record, killing them was our only choice. In the time since the first victims came to our attention, our scientists have found nothing to indicate a cure.’
‘So wh
at caused this?’ Nick shouted as he stood, his Scouse accent more noticeable than ever before, his hands out in front of him, grasping for an answer.
‘That we do not know yet,’ the Captain replied, looking uncomfortable.
I sighed loudly, exasperated.
Nick sat down, hands now shaking rather than gesticulating.
Claire spoke next.
‘And when can we go home?’
Her family was in Chepstow and she had managed to get in touch with them. They were unharmed. Her mobile phone had been lost somewhere along the way but the house phone had been reinstated the day after the Army had arrived; its failure had had nothing to do with the zombies but had simply been a local fault that the troops had taken care of.
‘Well, that is the reason I am here. You can all go home. From today. We have checked your personal details and none of you live in a danger zone, so yes, you can go home. I will be arranging transport for each of you.’
He stepped around the room, briefly shaking hands with everyone.
‘Good morning to you all.’ He saluted and was gone.
* * *
Many people came and went over the next two days, but not a single one of them raised any questions about why Danny and I had been the only ones who had broken the curfew. I wondered if many people across the country had taken risks for others, and from what I was able to pick up on, it seemed that the answer was not many. I could only assume that Mitchell had put the word out about my attitude towards the military because nobody criticised what we had done to my face.
Claire and Susan had left as soon as was humanly possible. To be honest, I didn’t even attempt to exchange phone numbers or email addresses with them. I don’t think they were particularly bothered. John stayed one more night, as did Nick, Jenny and the children. Sheila actually left without saying goodbye, or thank you, to anyone. It was one of the soldiers who told us that he had transported her home. The children were incredibly well-behaved but had a million and one questions for us all. They had hounded the soldiers all day and apparently knew more than any of us did as a result.
John was a nice enough guy, but if he thanked me once more, if he said how sorry he was one more time, I was going to have to evict him. He was from somewhere in Kent and would be leaving at first light the following day as one of the Army vehicles was going in vaguely that direction and could at least take him to a base of operations that could then ferry him home.
Nick and Jenny were another story. Jenny was desperate to leave. I guessed she realised that I needed some space from all this, that I was putting on a huge front while everyone was still at the house. Although Nick was waiting for one of the soldiers to drive him over to their house, it was obvious he didn’t want to leave me; he felt he could help by hanging around. His car was right outside, of course, but the Army was still not allowing any civilian transport on the roads until their search had been one hundred per cent completed.
Nick, after a short conversation with one of the soldiers, anxiously waited while the trooper radioed across to the town. By the time the troop walked across to us, Nick was virtually bouncing on the spot.
‘I’ve been given permission to take you across in our Jeep and leave Private Hayes here at the house.’
Nick nodded quickly. ‘I’ll just go and tell Jenny.’
He ran back in through the front door, the habit of closing it over already learnt in such a short time. I turned my back on the young soldier, not wanting to have to make pointless conversation with him. Before long, Nick emerged from the front door and walked up next to me.
‘I shouldn’t be too long. If they’ll let me in the house, I’ll check that everything is okay, that the place is safe, and then we’ll be pretty much out of your hair. You going to be okay on your own? Are there any family or friends you can call?’
‘Yeah, yeah. I just need to, well, you know. Get it straight. I don’t want anyone to think…’
I didn’t know what I was trying to say, but it had the desired effect on Nick. He realised I was struggling and let the subject drop. He patted my shoulder, and he and the soldier were gone. They disappeared around the right hand side of the wall and I heard a tinny engine start up. The other soldier stepped back into sight, taking up a position directly in the middle of the gateway facing the road. I turned and, with a momentary pause at the front door, stepped into my rapidly emptying home.
‘Jenny? Jenny?’
She wasn’t in the lounge or the kitchen, so I advanced up the stairs, still calling. She finally emerged from one of the spare rooms.
‘The kids are tired. I think I’ll join them for a nap,’ she said softly, head down.
‘No worries. Look, I’m going to make some calls, talk to some of our old school friends. You know? Make sure everyone’s okay. Do you need to call anyone?’
‘No, no. We’ll be home soon enough. Nick says tonight, even. Matt, the kids… I just want them settled.’
‘Sure, of course.’
She left me standing on the landing feeling quite alone. I went down to the kitchen, got a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. I hadn’t realised how dry my throat was. My body ached so I swallowed a couple of pain killers. I stood at the sink, looking out of the window and across the garden until I lost track of time.
I was feeling some of the pressure on the back of my neck lift when Nick returned. He could not contain the smile on his face as I walked through the house and met him at the foot of the stairs.
‘It’s unbelievable over there. I’ve seen loads of people I know, neighbours, friends, it’s… Oh, mate, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.’
‘Nick, it’s okay. Life has to go on.’
‘Yeah well, for some of us, life’s only going on because of you and Danny. Nobody’s going to forget that. I bumped into Alex Brown. Do you know him? He lives on Mill Street. He saw you and Danny bring the girls back. He says it was amazing. He says…’
‘How’s the house looking?’
‘Oh. Oh, sorry. Umm…it’s fine. We can go back tomorrow. They’re going to reopen the roads at some point in the morning. Look. Matt? There’s, there’s…nothing to be seen over there. They’ve cleaned it all up. Come stay with us for a few days, as long as you like. Don’t sit here alone, not with…you know?’
‘Thanks, but I need to be alone. I need to let all of this out. I just can’t with…’
I was struggling. What excuse could I use now when I just wanted them to leave? The patter of footsteps came from upstairs, little voices that had maybe just picked up on the fact that their Dad was back. That gave me the answer I needed.
‘I can’t let the kids see me fall apart, Nick. You understand that, don’t you?’
‘Of course I do. I’ll just go and tell Jenny about the house.’
‘Yeah, yeah. And Nick? You can do me one favour when you do go back into town? Just ask them to respect my privacy for a little while. I don’t want to be talking through it again and again. That okay?’
He nodded, looked like he was the one that was going to break down, and then turned and took the stairs two at a time to go to his family. I walked through the lounge and back into the kitchen. I took a seat at the table, my mind awash as I formulated my plan.
* * *
It was Private Hayes who brought the good news to our door at a little after one the following afternoon. The roads were now officially open and the Williams family could go back to their home. It came as no surprise. The BBC had, every fifteen minutes, launched into the headline that the epidemic was over and that all infected cases were accounted for and had been properly dealt with. They didn’t come right out and say it, but everyone watching, each and every person who had seen what had taken place across the country, knew what that meant: eliminated.
Nick had been out to the Citroen and started it up, let it run for a few minutes and then, under the supervision of the soldiers, had turned it around and pulled onto the driveway. The tyres had hardly stopped on th
e gravel before Jenny had one of the back doors open and was ushering the children into the back seat. She leant in after them and made sure their seatbelts were firmly fastened as Nick got out and made his way over to me.
‘Are you sure you won’t come with us?’ he asked.
‘Nick, just leave it be,’ Jenny called. ‘Matt’s told us he wants to be alone for a while.’
‘She’s right. But thank you’, I said and shook him by the hand. ‘I just need to be by myself. I need to remember Danny and let myself… You know?’
He turned the handshake into a hug.
‘You know where we are, if you need anything. I mean it. Anything. We owe you everything, mate.’
‘Nick, you’re suffocating him.’
He released me from the hug but held onto my hand.
‘Anything.’
I tried a smile and half slapped, half pushed him on the back as he turned to get in the car. Jenny approached me, not looking me in the eye, gave me a brief hug and, before I had chance to say a word, opened the car door and got in, waving her hand in front of her face like she was trying to get a bad smell out from under her nose. The kids were all waving from the back of the car as Nick executed a clumsy five point turn and gently eased the car through the gates. He paused, allowing the children to turn in their seats and wave once more, a gesture I returned, and then they were gone.
Private Hayes approached me.
‘Sir, I’ve been told to join the rest of my unit in town.’
I shrugged, feeling my lips imitate the sneer that I had witnessed on so many of the infected, and the soldier turned his back on me and walked away. I was back inside the house, the door closed, before I heard his vehicle start up, and I stood there until once again there was silence all around me. And then the tears came.
For the first time, I let myself give in to the grief, the shame, the hatred I was feeling. I fell to my knees, my elbows resting on the stairs, and my body shook as the pain poured out of me uncontrollably. I don’t know how long I was there, but by the time I got back to my feet and walked through to the kitchen, it was dark outside. It would soon be time for me to act.
