by Robin Roseau
She hugged me. "You're the best, Zoe." She released me and said, "Guys, Zoe said she'll be bait. Who wants to help? But I get Ember."
I had to laugh.
My team set half their strategy around using me for bait. The plan was for me to be clearly visible, sporadically of course, and to taunt the other team into coming after me. My teammates would strive for better stealth and press out in front of me. They hoped to lure in anyone coming after me.
The game began. We moved towards the right side of center, some of my team members hopping in front of me, more covering my flank on either side, and a few staying behind me, hoping our opponents would push to take me out from a sheltered location, making themselves vulnerable in the process.
We didn't even try to advance halfway up the field. We moved to a point perhaps a third of the way up the field, then I made a lot of noise, taunting the blue team. I popped out and fired one or two shots periodically, but I didn't hit anything important.
The strategy worked amazingly well. Several members of the blue team -- including my own daughter -- moved towards my position, their focus a little too single-minded for their own good. I started hearing calls of, "I'm hit!" and then my own team members calling out, "Guard!"
Ember was the fourth casualty I knew of, and it was Iris who took her prisoner. Iris saluted me with her gun as she collected my daughter and escorted her to jail.
My position was eventually overwhelmed. It was Hadley that claimed me. "Oh good," she said. "I want a third day onto the two you still owe me." She escorted me to jail as I tried to negotiate for a much smaller commitment. We arrived at jail, and she turned me towards her.
"I want you to trust me, Zoe. Give me the entire day."
"You want an entire day, but I'm lucky to get a half hour from a teenager the rare time I catch someone."
"Trust me, Zoe."
I studied her, then finally nodded. "Get someone to run me back though."
She did it herself, collecting one of my teammates for my other arm.
By the end of the game, I could say that I had fun. I managed to win two bribes, which was about average for me. I paid more than that, which was also average for me. I didn't mind.
Other noteworthy bribes I paid were to Michaela, who wanted a hug and reassurance I was fine. Ember and Monique both got me once each. For her bribe, Ember asked for permission to have another slumber party, easily granted. Monique asked me to take her on a wildlife photo expedition, borrowing one of my long lenses for it.
The two bribes I won I actually shouldn't have won.
"I'm hit!" I called out, raising my gun. "I'm hit." I stood up.
Eric and Rory both stood up yelling, "Guard," and holding their guns over their heads. They were about thirty yards away from me, one on my left flank, one on the right. They began arguing about who had shot me. As soon as they began arguing, I began counting.
Their argument gained in strength, which amused me. They were fighting over me. It was, well, endearing.
I reached twenty in my count, and then the two of them began shooting at each other.
I reached thirty; neither of them had claimed me, so I popped behind a tree and proceeded to shoot both of them, twice each. "Guard!" I yelled.
They both turned to me. "What?"
"I got you both." I walked over to Rory, grabbed him, then tugged him to Eric. "You both shot me. You should have shared. Come on."
From the various hiding places around us, the guys received catcalls as I walked them to jail, and there were a few yells of, "You go, Zoe" thrown into the mix. We were halfway to jail before Rory asked, "Why are we walking so slowly?"
"Because I don't let you run me until you offer me a bribe, and you two haven't been offering."
Their offers were ridiculous and unlikely, and for a few of them, it was a good thing Portia wasn't listening. But they were teasing me, and I took it that way.
"We'll help you hide for the next pack hide and go seek game," Eric finally offered.
"Help me hide?"
"Three times," Rory added. "If you think the kids can run you fast, think about how fast we can."
"You won't leave enough of a scent track to follow," Eric said. "And we can toss you perfectly to a high tree branch. You can climb from there. We find people in trees because we can smell where they climbed, but you won't touch the tree until you're too high to be found that way."
"What if I fall?"
"You won't, but we'll be ready to catch you. You won't get hurt."
"Agreed," I said. I held out my arms, and they ran me to our jail, set me down, and then were gone out the backside to return to the game.
* * * *
By the end of the day, I couldn't count how many times I'd been hit, but I paid more attention to the reaction of the wolves. And I realized something.
They all treated me as not quite a team mascot, not quite a little sister, not quite the favorite teacher or pack mother, but as some combination of all of those. And as Portia has indicated, everyone treated me as if she were quite pleased I was there.
Unwanted Guest
It was Monday evening, two weeks later, when I was working with Kaylee, trying to help her with her first speech, that Angel stepped into my classroom. It was so weird to have a classroom, but I did.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Zoe," Angel said. "Kaylee, you're done tonight. Zoe, did you have anyone else?"
"Cassie was next."
"Kaylee, find Cassie and tell her Zoe isn't going to make it."
"Sure thing, Angel," Kaylee said. She began to collect her things.
Angel didn't wait for her. "You need to come with me, Zoe."
I cocked my head. "What's going on?"
"You need to come with me, Zoe. Right now." Her tone was firm, and when I didn't move quickly enough, she crossed the room to me, grabbed my arm, and began tugging me towards the door.
"Angel? I have to collect my things."
"Later," she said. She had me out of the school building before I tried digging my heels in.
"What's going on?"
"Zoe, this is an order from a pack enforcer. Stop resisting." She tugged on my arm. "You're not in trouble, but we need to hurry."
"Is someone hurt? Did something happen to Portia? Angel, what's going on?" I felt the panic begin to settle in.
"No one is hurt, and you're not in trouble. We have to hurry." She began tugging harder, and I let her pull me. Soon we were practically running, Angel doing most of the work.
She led me to my own house. When I arrived, Eric was standing guard outside.
"Angel?"
"I can't answer your questions," she said. "I'm sorry, Zoe."
Eric opened the door for us, and Angel pulled me into the house. I immediately heard other voices speaking quietly. She pulled me around a couple of suitcases and into the living room, and we came to a stop.
I looked around.
Michaela was seated in a chair, her back to me, with Serena standing guard immediately behind her. Portia was standing at the window, staring outside, and her back was stiff.
Sitting on the sofa were Ember and a human woman several years younger than I was. She looked hard-used, but I thought perhaps she was once very attractive. But one look at her, and I knew she was trouble.
And she was holding my daughter's hand.
I stared at her holding my daughter's hand.
"Come in, Zoe," Michaela said, not looking around. "There's someone for you to meet."
From the corner of my eye, I caught movement. Portia had turned to me, and her face was filled with anguish. But she turned away, and I knew whatever was going on, I was on my own.
I stiffened my own back and stepped into the room.
Ember stood up, but the woman did not. Nor did she release Ember's hand.
"Zoe," Ember said. She called me Zoe, not 'mom' or 'Zoe Mom'. "I want to introduce you to my mom, Crystal Mann. Mom, this is Zoe Fleming, my other foster-mom."
* * * *
>
An ache immediately formed in my gut and began radiating out from there. I stared at the woman, the woman who had abandoned Ember when she was seven, shoving her on a bus to make her way in the world amongst complete strangers.
Anything could have happened to her, and it was only luck that she'd ended up on this compound, living with people who cared about her.
"Have a seat," Michaela said. I glanced at her. Her features were tight, but she was gesturing to the other easy chair. I hesitated, and then Angel stepped forward, pulling me towards the chair. I sat, somewhat numbly, and Angel left a hand on my shoulder as she stood behind me.
Once I was seated, Ember sat back down next to her birth mother.
But I was her mom. Portia and I were her mothers, not this woman. This woman was nothing more than an egg donor.
"What- Um. What are you doing here, Ms. Mann?"
"Please," the woman said, "call me Crystal." She looked at Ember with a look that I knew was supposed to be love, but I didn't believe it. "Eight years ago, I made a mistake. I didn't know how to take care of a werewolf, so I sent her to her uncle. I never meant for it to be permanent. It was just until she learned how to control what she was, so she wouldn't turn into an animal in front of the wrong people."
"She's not an animal," I said. "She's a person, regardless of what clothes she is wearing."
"I understand that now," the woman said, turning to face me. "I never meant to send her away permanently. I'm still her mom. She's still my baby. When I heard someone wanted to adopt her, I realized how long it had been, and I drove straight through. Ember is going home with me."
I stared for five seconds. I couldn't believe what she was saying.
"You can't have her!" I screamed. "She's mine!" I would have launched myself from the chair to confront the woman, but Angel tightened her hand on my shoulder, pressing me into the chair. I struggled with Angel while I screamed at the woman. "You gave up your rights to her a long, long time ago! What mother abandons her daughter for eight years? Well, she's with people who love and care for her, and you can't have her!"
I struggled against Angel. Soon she was using both hands to hold me in the chair, one pressing on my shoulder, the other hanging onto my arm.
"She's mine!" I screamed again. I turned to Michaela. "Stop her! We're her guardians now. She abandoned her daughter for years, and we've been raising her. Look at her. She can't afford a lawyer. We can bury her in legal paperwork. It will take years for her to work her way through them, and by then, Ember will be eighteen and able to do whatever she wants!"
In other words, I was more than willing to apply the same basic legal methods corporations have used against the environmental movement for decades. Bury them in expensive lawyers and paperwork.
"Zoe," Ember said. "She needs me, and she's my mom."
I stilled and looked at her. "I'm your mom! Portia is your mom! We're the ones who love you. We're the ones who take care of you. We're the ones who know how to care for a teenage werewolf. We're the ones who can help you get the right start in life. Your friends are here. You are loved here!"
"I know," she said. "But she needs me, Zoe."
"I need you, Ember!"
"I'm sorry. But you have Portia and Michaela and Monique and all the others, and she doesn't have anyone. She needs me."
I struggled with Angel and managed to pull away from her. I was on my feet, and then so was Ember, moving into my path and pulling me into her arms.
"I love you, Zoe," she said. "But for eight years I've dreamed about Mom coming to get me. I dreamed of hearing her tell me she loved me. I've dreamed of her apologizing for sending me away, and for the things she called me when she did it. And now she's here, and she needs me, and she loves me. I have to go."
I started crying. Ember held me for a minute, then Crystal stood up.
"We have to go, baby. I want to be south of Madison before it's dark."
"You can't have her!" I screamed. "She's mine." I tried pulling Ember further from the woman, further from the woman who had come to steal my daughter. "Portia, help me! Don't let her take our daughter."
"Zoe," Ember whispered, "I'll never forget what you've done for me."
Then she kissed my cheek and began peeling my arms from her. Then Angel was there, and Portia as well, pulling me away from my daughter.
I began screaming at them. "Don't let her do this! Portia!"
And, while I screamed, I watched the woman put her arm around my daughter's shoulder and begin leading her to the door. And Ember went with her; she went willingly.
She looked over her shoulder at me just before they turned the corner, and I saw a tear crawling down her cheek.
"Ember! Don't go!"
But then the front door opened and closed. My screams grew even louder, and I almost escaped from Angel and Portia. But then Serena was there, too, helping them to hold me.
I heard car doors, and then a car engine.
And a minute later, Eric came in and announced, "They're gone, Alpha."
* * * *
They finally let me go. I spun around and looked up into Portia's face. She hadn't said a single word, not one word through all of it.
"You let that woman take our daughter," I said coldly. Then I screamed, "You let her take our daughter! How could you?"
I had never hit anyone in my entire life; I had never hurt anyone in my entire life. But I tightened my fist, wound up, and sent the biggest, widest swing at my wife's jaw.
She could have stopped it. She could have blocked it or just leaned away and let my fist pass harmlessly in front of her.
Instead, she let me hit her.
"I never want to see you again!" I screamed.
"Zoe..."
I didn't listen. I ran.
* * * *
I was sobbing long before I was in the woods. Still, I ran until I couldn't run anymore, and it was a lot longer and further than it would have been a year ago. Finally I collapsed to the forest floor, curling into a ball and screaming my grief, my rage, my despair.
I beat the forest floor, wanting to hurt someone, but there was no one to hurt.
I screamed, but there was no one to listen, or if there was, I wasn't aware of her.
I screamed, and if I could have yanked my heart from my chest to stop it from hurting, I would have done it in an instant.
Eventually some sort of sanity returned, accompanied by a cool, frigid cold understanding: I had lost everything that mattered to me.
By then, it was dark, especially dark under the trees. I crawled a few feet and sat up against a tree, pulling my legs to my chest.
My daughter was gone.
My wife had let that woman take her. And in that act, I had lost them both. I had gone from gloriously happy to this, all in just a few minutes.
How could Ember have left with that woman? Couldn't she see the false smiles? Couldn't she see the trouble?
"She's trash!" I screamed into the night. "She's trash!"
I again screamed my rage and despair.
I don't know how long I sat there, my head on my knees, my arms wrapped around them. But then there was a howl, a distant howl, and then, much, much closer, an answering howl.
"Who is there?" I demanded. "Who is it? Show yourself!"
It took a minute, but then I heard the soft steps of a wolf approaching. I could barely see, but she stepped through the underbrush perhaps ten feet away, a silver wolf with black patches.
"Angel." It was said coldly. "Leave me alone. I don't want any more to do with you than I do the rest of you. You let them take her. You helped!"
She whined, but she lay down, watching me.
"Why are you even here? Afraid I was going to run off and tell the world about you? Afraid of what I might do in my anger? Do you have orders to stop me if I leave pack lands? I don't think I ran that far, but I'm quite lost, and I can't see."
She whined again, but she didn't answer.
What did I expect, talking to a wol
f?
"Go away," I told her. "I don't want you here."
She didn't leave, but instead she lifted her nose and howled again.
I'd always thought it was a beautiful sound, but now I hated it. She was telling them where I was.
I thought about running from her, but it would be futile. I couldn't see, and I'd probably bean myself on a tree. And I couldn't have gotten free of her, anyway.
No, she'd just lead all the wolves right to me, and then they would do whatever it was they were going to do.
I wondered how much trouble I was in for hitting Portia.
I hung my head. I'd hit my wife. I was ashamed of that.
But she'd deserved it, hadn't she? She'd let that woman take my daughter! She had helped them. She'd held me back while Ember had walked out of our house and out of our lives.
Angel howled once more, briefly, and about a minute later, I heard several wolves approaching. They weren't moving quickly, not remotely as quickly as wolves can move.
They began to appear, Elisabeth and Lara first, and then Serena and Eric were there, flanking Michaela.
Portia wasn't amongst them.
Angel climbed to her feet, then moved in front of Lara and Michaela, rolling onto her back and exposing her throat. Both alphas licked her throat briefly, and then she rolled back upright and moved away, taking a guard position facing outward. Eric and Serena took similar positions.
I stayed right where I was.
"Go away," I told them. "Just leave me alone."
Michaela shimmered, and then she was human, facing me in the dark of the night.
"I'm sorry, Zoe," she said. "We didn't have a choice."
"Fuck you," I said. "You had every choice in the world. You let that piece of trash take her."
She didn't flinch at my tone. Instead, she sat down on the ground facing me, perhaps five feet away. Lara and Elisabeth flanked her.
I wondered if they were there to protect Michaela, lest I turn murderous.
"We didn't have a choice," she said again.
"Whatever. Alpha, I will be divorcing my wife, and I am leaving Wisconsin as fast as my car will take me. Don't worry; I won't share your secrets. You'll never hear from me again."
