The dry wind helped my dead head shirt dry and I realized that I had forgotten to put my Sunskin on. I searched the crumpled load of wet clothes and pulled it out. I’d put it back on as soon as we got to the car, but for the time being the sun felt good, even though the heat prickled my skin and I could feel my shirt slowly loosening around me as it dried. It didn’t take long to get back to the vehicle and I was glad to slip back in to my Sunskin as I could feel the heat of a burn on my exposed parts. I wondered what it had been like to live in the sun, unfettered by protective layers and scorching temperatures. There was something so alluring about the idea that it almost seemed ingrained in to my DNA.
I knew that wasn’t the case for everyone. I’d known many people, mostly colleagues, who’d had an overwhelming terror of the sun. They’d wear Sunskins in the domes or would slather themselves in high level SPF lotions for fear of tanning. I’d never understood their phobia, but then I never really questioned it either.
We reluctantly loaded ourselves back in to the car and as we drove, discussed the pure bliss that was a hot water shower. None of us had ever experienced it before, but I had seen the stretch of open sea to the north once, so could imagine amounts of water large enough to achieve the task, unlike the young girl who now travelled with us.
River had been speechless from the experience. She reached up to her hair several times to feel the moisture and seemed disappointed once it had evaporated.
“Dude, I totally have no words,” admitted Jake as he ran his hand over his squeaky clean skin.
“You had ‘words’ when you were in the shower…what exactly were you singing?” It was a little mean, but I couldn’t help but tease him a little.
“Uh, oh, well that, yeah,” he cleared his throat and flicked his bangs out of his eyes, eliciting a small squeal from Blossom as droplets sprinkled over her. She reached over River to slap his arm, which he took manfully.
“You was singing?” This came from River, who was trying to flatten herself against the seat to avoid any friendly fire from the slap contest happening on either side of her.
“Well, yeah, I was singing the theme song from Earth Dodgers.” Blossom stifled a laugh and pressed herself against the door to try and avoid his quick hands. The smack was sharp, but missed her bare skin and hit her thigh.
“What’s Earth Dodgers?” The question took me aback until I realized that River had no way of knowing anything about dome style entertainment.
“A show,” replied Jake simply and then glanced down at the girl.
“Oh,” she answered, but her face still showed her curiosity and it was then that Jake came to the same conclusion I had.
“The government issues shows on the com devices and Earth Dodgers was one about this team that had invented time travel and they were always trying to fix things that they thought went wrong and then it would change the earth for the worse in the end. Man, there was one episode where they tried to get rid of this German guy, way back in the past and then everyone in the world turned in to racist murderers. It was funny.”
How he got funny out of that, I couldn’t tell you and Cedar and I exchanged a worried glance.
“How is that funny?” I was relieved to hear the voice of reason, even if it did come for a teenaged girl still trying to get a return slap in.
“It’s so obvious. The government is trying to tell us not to mess with how things are, because they could turn out even worse. It’s funny because their whole game is pathetic.”
“So my Camp was right, the government is evil.” River said this with a little shudder and a suspicious look thrown my way. So what, now I was the man?
“Well, evil might be a bit strong of a description,” cautioned Cedar. “It’s a lot more complicated than that.” I looked at her with an eyebrow raised and she gave me a subtle shrug. “They aren’t all bad; some of them just don’t know how to fix the system. A lot of them are doing their best, but it’s really hard to be responsible for the citizens when you don’t have access to food and water is tight.” River looked like she was trying to reconcile her lifetime of teachings with the carefully weighed words of someone she looked up to. I could tell that she really wanted to believe Cedar, but the doubt was plain on her face.
“Look, have you ever had anything that you really loved that wore out because you used it so much?” She thought about it for a second and then nodded.
“Yes, I had a ball when I was bitty, but it gotta leak an’ no matter how many times I patched ‘er up, it stayed flat. I finally gave up. I was too big to have it anyway.”
“Well, that’s the problem with the government. If something’s been broken too many times, it’s almost impossible to fix. Sometimes you just have to throw the old thing out and start all over again. The challenge is trying to make something new using old parts that still have the same problems. Does that make sense?” I had tried to simplify it and while the explanation sounded hollow to me, she nodded eagerly.
“So we’re going somewhere’s new and won’t have the same things broke?” Cedar and I exchanged another look.
“That’s right, Sweetie,” smiled Cedar, patting the girls gangly knee. I could only hope that she was right.
Chapter 25 – Sands of Time
The next four days passed slowly. Travelling during the heat of the day was exhausting, but necessary. The Bee Zee seemed exactly like it was portrayed by the government; empty, at least at ground level, and hostile, but we knew that the truth was far different. We’d been forced to take shelter on several occasions due to the increased drone activity. We avoided the sparkling government drones and the ominous flat black UAVs of the White Suns as well. We counted our blessings that we didn’t encounter any further Sand Walker communities, but our path was specifically chosen to avoid that occurrence.
Cedar and I took turns driving, forcing our way through sand storms and driving as long as we were able. At times the track became treacherous enough that we had to stop until day light and other times, we pushed through well in to the night, as long as we were far from any survivalist settlements.
The kids were rumpled and disgruntled. This surprised me, I had thought that teenagers were usually happy to loaf around, not doing much of anything, but the close quarters were weighing on everyone and by the fourth day tempers were short and the car was starting to smell like a stalled transport at the height of rush hour.
According to the bot, we should have been getting close to crossing the old border between Canada and the United States. Once we made it across we could cut hard to the east and be at the coast in a couple of days. Then we’d have the task of figuring out our next steps. I was worried about how long that would take, as it wasn’t hard to anticipate our supplies running low and I knew we didn’t have a hope of replenishing now that we were so far from the domes. We finally broke down and agreed to only eating twice a day and I could already see the affects on our bodies. What little fat we had was disappearing, replaced by sharp lines and lean muscle. Genetic tampering did have its benefits and even the naturals profited from their genetically designed predecessors.
We came to a flat area that ran along the highway which skirted the Laurentians and found some sort of structure that seemed to grow out of the mountainside. It had huge doors that were frozen in place with rust, but they were only partially ajar, so it made for a good place to spend the night or maybe two, just to give everyone a break from being squashed in to the car.
Blossom and Jake jumped out as soon as I’d driven through the doors with groans of pleasure. They didn’t even complain about the acrid scent of the building, but got to work setting up the tent after stretching out their limbs. River kept close to Cedar, still not sure what her place was in our now well oiled unit.
“Sweetie, why don’t you lay out all the supplies so we can see what we have?” suggested Cedar, wanting the girl to feel included and also needing some space. River nodded eagerly and ran off to do as she was bid. A look of relief flashed over
Cedar’s face followed by a guilty frown.
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up, we all need a little time and space once in a while.” I gave her an encouraging grin and then added, “She’s a good kid, but she has so much energy!” She gave me a wan smile and stretched, trying to get the kinks out from the long drive.
“I should be more grateful. After all, this is exactly what I wanted, wasn’t it? I dreamt about finding Amethyst’s baby and now she’s here, with us.” She shook her head, trying to throw off the torpor. “I’m afraid I’ll fail her just like I did her mother.”
“Come one, now. There was nothing you could have done. Without you, Amethyst wouldn’t have made it in the Bee Zee, all alone. You gave her the best life you could and it’s not your fault that it was cut so short. Give yourself a break.” I wanted to tell her that I knew how she felt, that I worried about failing all of them as well. I wanted to say that I was scared and didn’t know if I had what it took to get them where we needed to go, but she didn’t need to hear that. She needed assurance, so I swallowed my own doubts and gave her a brotherly thump on the shoulder. “You’re doing awesome and we’re almost to the coast.”
The question of ‘what then’ hung between us, but neither of us was willing to actually say it out loud, so we tamped down our worries and set about doing our chores. I checked over the car and cleaned out the air filters, used a synthetic spray to lubricate all the necessary parts, as outlined in the manual and with some extra guidance from Pipkin.
“Owner Dax, why does Family Member Cedar have concerns about Family Member River?” It was an odd question coming from a bot and it must have shown on my face. “I only seek to understand more about humans and how their minds work. I am programmed to ascertain human emotion and replicate it as appropriate, but that does not mean that I understand it.” I digested his statement slowly and realized that I often wondered the same thing; why we did what we did. Why my parents relocated to the west, just as my marriage was falling apart. Why we chose the people we did and why something that seemed to start out so right, turned so wrong.
“She wants to make sure that River is safe and happy.” It was all I could say, I thought I understood her fears, but I didn’t know how to put them in to words, to explain the complexities to the RAB-bot.
“But what is happy?”
“That’s a great question, Pip. I just don’t know how to answer it.” And I honestly didn’t. I had always thought that happiness was safety and freedom from anxiety, but here I was; the opposite of both and yet I was happy. Stressed out, sure, but happy.
“That is perplexing Owner Dax. If you cannot define happiness, how do you know you have achieved it?” The whir and series of beeps let me know that he was searching his databases for a better answer.
“Ah, well, Pipkin, once you figure that out, then you’ll understand.” It was stupidly cryptic; the type of answer that always pissed me off as a kid, but it was probably one of the truest things I’d ever said. Unsatisfied, the little bot whizzed off to ask someone else’s opinion.
I walked over to where River was patiently laying out our food supply. The good news was that we had plenty of water tablets and the water extractor was still functioning beautifully, but our insta-meals were on the low side. Pipkin estimated that we were still a couple of days from the coast and I couldn’t even begin to guess how many days it would take us to figure out what we had to do next. I was starting to feel a little like a contestant on Survivor Revived, faced with all these puzzles without understanding the end game. I had to believe that all of this was for some purpose and that Reg and the Jam Makers had planned it all out. I could accept being a cog in the wheel, as long as I could keep the others safe.
I ruffled River’s hair and told her to run off and get Cedar to see what a good job she had done. The girl lit up at my praise and I realized suddenly that I had finally become something greater than myself. It wasn’t about me anymore, it was about them. I would have gladly given my life to ensure their survival and the feeling filled me with a sort of humble pride that I’d never experienced before. All of those years I had spent researching government approved historical accounts and gleaning a little truth from the dwindling internet had somehow led to this moment. Reg had designed his file with my knowledge in mind, and I suddenly felt confident that we would achieve whatever it was that he had planned for us. It was short lived. Cedar’s worry filled face was enough to erase any certainty from my thoughts. She counted the insta-meals three times over and arrived at the same number every time.
“Five days, we have five days worth of food and then what?” She paced back and forth between me and the neatly laid out food packets. “We have no idea what we’re going to find once we reach the coast or how long it will take to do whatever the hell it is we’re supposed to do. We were crazy going so far away from the domes.” She stopped in front of me, arms akimbo, her chest heaving with fear and exertion. “I don’t want to die out here.” I don’t think she meant for me to hear it, as the words came out in a whispered breath, almost like a sigh.
“We’re not going to die.” I tried to find the confidence that I’d felt only moments before. “There’s a plan and we’ve made it this far almost in one piece. All we have to do is get to the coast and the rest will become clear.” It was a push but I managed to keep the word ‘hopefully’ from the end of my sentence. I sounded less certain than I had wanted, but it was enough to shake her and she rewarded me with a doubtful smile.
“Why aren’t you married, Dax?” The question was so out of the blue that it took me aback and I only shrugged. I didn’t want to get in to the whole thing about my ex. “I mean you’re a good man, why hasn’t some woman snapped you up?”
“Bad genes?” I was trying to be funny but the joke was a little too close to the truth for me and she could see it in my face.
“I’m sorry Dax, but she obviously didn’t deserve you.” She patted my cheek with a motherly affection and turned to pack up our meagre supplies and changed the subject. “We can’t stay here for a couple of days, unless we don’t eat. We need to conserve as much of the food as we can, so we’d best hit the road first thing tomorrow and hope the coast is closer than we think.” I nodded my agreement and went to break the news to the kids.
“Well, it’s not like we’re doing all that much,” said Blossom seriously. “We really shouldn’t need to eat so much if we’re just sitting in the car all day. River and I can share meals, which means we would have at least an extra day’s food for everyone.” She put an arm around the girl who nodded her head vigorously at the prompt. I looked at both their faces and saw that they were slightly thinner, but none the worse for wear, at least at this point. I promised myself that I’d only eat one package of food a day. It wouldn’t hurt me, a little deprivation was character building, or so my mother had told me.
We passed the evening by telling stories. Pipkin was a particularly good source, as his memory banks were full of tales both fantastic and interesting. His computerized voice adapted to the characters and made him an excellent story teller. I pocketed my evening meal and tried to ignore the rumbles of my stomach as Jake, Blossom and I went to sleep. Cedar chose first watch and her ever present shadow sat next to her under the pretext of keeping her company. I’m sure that not much later the girl was fast asleep leaving Cedar to her thoughts as she kept an eye over the camp.
I felt like I’d only just fallen asleep when Cedar woke me for my shift. I ran my hand through my fairly clean hair and scrubbed a palm over my beard. It was unusual to see men with beards in the domes, but I knew that it somehow comforted River, as the Sand Walkers had less genetic manipulations and the men usually sported facial hair of some type or another. I thought about Jake and his lack of any sort of fuzz. I wondered if it was a relief to him or if he felt the lack of manly satisfaction that I seemed to get from growing hair on my face. I’d never analyzed it before, but I guess somewhere way back in human history, body hair was a sign of masculinit
y. I chuckled to myself in the darkness, amazed at the weird turns of thought that came to me in moments of silence. I stood up and stretched and walked to the entrance of the storage facility. Pip had told me that the building had been used to store sand and salt to maintain the roads during winter. It was hard to imagine that now, needing vehicles to plough the roads and remove the heavy snowfall that used to be a symbol of winter.
I looked out into the broad expanse of the night sky and wondered what stories the stars could tell. They’d seen it all; our emergence from the primordial soup of a new planet, the discoveries, the war, the damage. Was there anything else out there in space? Were there other worlds, watched by the stars? And if there were, did they follow our path, slowly destroying the very thing that had given us life in the first place? And where was God in all of this? The wind rattled the doors and I heard a rock tumble down the mountainside. I froze and held my breath, waiting for another sound that indicated someone else was out there, but none came and I finally exhaled and gulped in some of the night air, before I turned to run the clip again, trying to find a clue to follow. When exhaustion finally started overtaking me, I woke Jake so he could do a stint as watchman.
I fell to dreaming again, and it was the same field I’d dreamt of before, with the wet grass and the house in the distance. I thought I could hear music drifting on the wind as well as River’s laughter coming from somewhere near the house. Something in me shifted and I could feel the peace of home, whatever that meant. It settled in my being and I turned slowly towards the house and that was all I could remember upon waking.
Last Farmer: Last Farmer Series - Book 1 Page 23
