by Ilana Waters
“Joshua’s been quiet a while,” Abigail whispered. “I think he’s asleep.”
“Marvelous,” Titus muttered. I heard him grunt a few times, likely sore from the spells.
“What’s wrong?”
“Am I the only one concerned that our weakling son is so calm amidst the potential hell storm that is Oblivion?”
Weakling? If I’d been sitting upright, I would’ve fallen back down.
Abigail echoed my thoughts. “Weakling?” she said. “That’s my son you’re talking about, too, you know. He’s far from a weakling. And he certainly wasn’t calm when he kicked the coffee table. Besides, what would you have him do? Rage at fate or something?”
“I had some vague notion he should act like a man.”
Abigail humphed. “You have a strange definition of what makes a man. Going berserk won’t help anything. Right now, your son’s self-control is the only thing keeping that demon from being unleashed.”
Chapter 15
I was more than a little put out regarding my parents’ conversation, and kept running over it in my mind. But then a strange thing happened: I began to get tired. Maybe fighting Nocifari and the apprehension over Oblivion finally made him succumb to my need for sleep. Or maybe it meant he wasn’t in complete control of me yet. Regardless, I felt exhausted, and drifted in and out of an uneasy slumber. During that time, I experienced the strangest and most intoxicating dreams. In the first one, I was making love to a woman—
No. I can’t lie to you, dear reader. Not about this. Though I understand if you cannot look at me the same way again.
I was raping a woman. And I was enjoying it. I don’t think it was anyone I knew; in fact, the memory of her face has faded by now. However, in that moment, I didn’t care how she looked. Oh, she was attractive, that much was certain. But her features, like her feelings and thoughts, were irrelevant to me. Her body existed only to satisfy my darkest desires. Her life had no other purpose.
I pushed myself inside her over and over, her cries of pain and fear only heightening my pleasure. It was better than any sex I’d ever had. The ecstasy consumed me until it was unbearable. My climax was so overwhelming, so uncontrolled, I could scarcely believe it, and I gave myself over to it as she died screaming and clawing beneath me.
Then the dreamscape changed, shifted, as they so often do. I was standing in a field, the sun shining brightly overhead. Fog was all around me, just beginning to lift. In the distance, I saw a soldier. I couldn’t tell what time period he was from, or what war. His uniform looked like an odd combination of many used over the centuries. All at once, it was a suit-like pair of jacket and trousers, camouflage, and pieces of armor. He advanced slowly, on foot, until he was right in front of me.
Then he attacked. I don’t know if it was with a sword or a gun. Like his uniform, it seemed an amalgam of the two. But in the end, it didn’t matter. I cut him down with a similar weapon of my own. One soldier after another came at me, but I dispatched them quickly, stroke after stroke. I thought my body would feel fatigued, or ache from the effort. But instead of growing harder, each kill became easier, until they were nearly effortless.
And I enjoyed watching the men die, especially those with agony on their faces. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the delicious scent of sweat and blood. The excitement I felt was not unlike being with the woman from my first dream.
The fog lifted. I realized I was on a battlefield filled with thousands of soldiers, charging at me, roaring, their weapons held high. Rather than be afraid, I laughed as I slew every one. I rose higher and higher in the air with each kill, their screams like the sweetest music. The joy in my heart was so great, it buoyed me up like the waves of an ocean. Finally, I was miles above the soldiers, practically in the clouds. Below me was a world full of corpses, and I stood atop a pile of skulls.
Was this what Oblivion was offering me? To never be afraid again, never lose a battle, never die? To always feel this intoxicated, this blissful? Was this what my father meant when he once described freshly made vampires as being “drunk on their new powers”?
Indeed, I’d never felt so powerful and strong. Alive. Not when I magically rained earth upon Ferox’s minions and turned them to stone. Not when I rocketed my mother and myself out of the underground, bombs exploding all around us. Not when I’d done any kind of magic in my life. And the most horrifying thing was, throughout it all, I didn’t feel evil. I felt real. Pure. In these dreams, I was more myself than I had ever been.
I woke up drenched in perspiration, shaking violently. I sat up and tried to look around. The room was dark except for a thin line of light under the door. Then I heard a voice I knew all too well.
Come on, Joshua! Get up. Let’s get out of here.
What? Where? Despite waking up in a panic, I was still groggy. My mouth was dry, and my head seemed full of cotton. I wanted nothing more than to sink back down into the pillow. No, we can’t leave. My thoughts were vague and confused. My parents magicked the exits.
Not the one in their room. Oblivion’s voice was playful and teasing, as if he were an old friend I used to laugh with a lot. They were too worn out. Decided to save their bedroom for last. I already created a distraction . . . and a little something else.
Distraction? Something else? Slowly, I pushed myself off the mattress and rubbed my face. When I looked back down, I saw my body still in the bed, sleeping soundly. His breathing was steady and even. My mouth widened, and I leaned over him. The figure resembled mine in every particular, from the wrinkled suit jacket to the scuffed shoes. To tell the truth, I only assumed the man was me because he wore my clothing. Otherwise, his gaunt figure and thinning hair made him look like a much older, unhealthier Joshua.
Is that what I really look like now?
Of course it is! In my mind, Oblivion clapped his hands in delight. We’re beautiful! Do you like it? I made it myself. Now, we can go have some real fun.
Real fun? The enthusiasm in Oblivion’s voice was troubling. Then I heard a sizzling noise, a few loud pops, and muffled cries.
“Gail, I told you to step back!” My father sounded alarmed. “Those wires could still be live.”
“I still don’t understand what happened,” said Abigail. “How can a television just randomly blow up?”
“Do I look like a cable technician to you? Besides, I think it shorted out, not blew up.”
“Said Mr. Not-the-Cable-Technician.” Abigail paused before speaking again. “Maybe it was Oblivion.”
“Woman, don’t be ridiculous. Why would Oblivion care if we watched television?” I peeked through the crack in the door and saw my father shake his head. “This is absurd. I’m calling maintenance.”
“I don’t know if they’re up at this hour, Titus.” Abigail followed him to the phone.
“They damn well better be up and able to fix this for what I’m paying them.” Titus jabbed his finger into the phone buttons.
What are you waiting for? This distraction is your cue! Turn us invisible and let’s go. You won’t believe what I have planned.
Despite being desperate not to comply, I began to feel genuinely excited. I was sure whatever Oblivion had planned would be smashing. He always had such good ideas. I turned invisible and began tiptoeing towards my parents’ room.
“Wait, where’s Joshua?” Titus stopped dialing. At the set of doors to their bedroom, I stopped and held my breath.
Abigail walked softly to my room and peeked inside. “Still sleeping, thank God. Maybe this vile demon is losing its hold on him.”
“Hmph. One can only hope.” Titus went back to forcefully punching buttons. I breathed a sigh of relief, walked into my parents’ bedroom, and flew out a window.
We’re free! We’re free! cried Oblivion. Don’t you feel better now?
I had to admit that I did. It was late, and there weren’t many people around. Fewer idiots to stare at us, or remark on our appearance, no matter how good
we knew we looked. Fools. Some mortals wouldn’t know a superior being if it leaped up and bit them. Which, come to think of it, wasn’t such a bad idea.
But the brisk walk did more than make me feel better. The cool night air was beginning to truly wake me up now. The last vestiges of my drowsiness lifted, and I realized what was happening. I’d only felt tired earlier because Oblivion wanted me to. He wanted me to fall asleep and dream. Oh, those delicious dreams. I felt a magnetic pull back to my bed so I could have more of them. If this was the future Oblivion saw, I was terrified of it. But I was more terrified of how much I wanted it.
They were a treat for you, Joshua. And that’s just the beginning, the tip of the iceberg of what we’ll do together.
Most people would consider gifts like those unspeakable nightmares. I willed my feet to turn around, to go back to the Hassler. But they wouldn’t.
Oh, come now. Oblivion’s voice was warm, friendly. You know you loved them. Besides, we’re not like most people. We’re special.
In the same way that rapists and murderers are special? Thanks, but I’ll pass.
Oblivion’s control over my feet was taking me farther and farther. I had no idea what his destination was. The feeling of being one with him, of sharing his desires, waxed and waned. The part of me that still had a conscience was trying not to panic.
It’s okay, I told myself, taking deep breaths as my heart beat faster. It’s okay. If I try to do something like break into a house, it’ll make noise, right? Someone would surely call the police, who’d stop me. Hopefully.
We walked through some of Rome’s more questionable neighborhoods. I could hear a baby’s cries not far off, along with those of Rome’s many stray cats. The air smelled faintly of garbage and various human fluids. I slowed down, or Oblivion did. Now I was almost tiptoeing past alleyway after alleyway, peeking in each one. At last, I found her.
She was lying curled up on an open garbage bag. No doubt it was a more comfortable bed than the hard ground, however revolting. She couldn’t have been more than six, her clothing filthy, torn, and too small for her. Despite the stench, and the dirt on her face, she was even lovelier than the woman from my dreams.
Her cheeks were pink and plump, though not as much as they would be if she were able to eat her fill. Her lips were slightly parted as she inhaled and exhaled. I was mesmerized watching her sleep. So innocent, so unsuspecting. I wanted to reach out and stroke that soft skin, feel it rub against me. I wanted to make her my own.
Picking them out is my second-favorite part. Oblivion was full of anticipation. And this will be easy. She’s lying there like a ripe peach, waiting to be plucked. Just think of it, Joshua! Elation made Oblivion’s voice sound even higher.
I licked my lips. Once we’ve enjoyed her, we could cut her into pieces. Slowly, of course, so we could savor the screams. No one would hear them in the underground. And how those screams would echo, like the most beautiful music, off the cavern walls. I could even leave her in front of our mirror. And soon, she would be joined by so many others . . .
Yes! Yes! That sounds wonderful. I could feel Oblivion’s heart swell with bliss. Do it now. We want her so badly.
I bent over and reached down to grab the frayed collar of the girl’s faded dress. I was surprised to see my hand was as thin as the rest of me. My long, bony fingers stretched towards her. Suddenly, I heard a sound like breaking glass, then a cat’s loud yowl. No doubt it had knocked over something breakable, or gotten into a fight. Unfortunately, it was enough to rouse the sleeping child.
I leaped back around the alley’s corner before she could see me. Facing the street, I looked over my shoulder, careful not to attract her attention. She was glancing around now, trying to peer through the darkness. Listening hard. I could feel her heart pounding; she knew something was off. Tentatively, she got up, rubbing her arms to ward off the chill. She turned her head to the left and right one more time. Then she disappeared down the other end of the alley, no doubt to a place she felt safer.
Damn. We could follow her, but it was risky. She might make a scene before we magicked her unconscious, or bent her will to ours. Her screams could wake the neighborhood. I shoved my hands in my pockets and cursed as I walked away.
Rotten luck, that. I could almost feel Oblivion’s arm around my shoulder, consoling me. But have patience.
“You’re right,” I sighed. I must be patient. There are many other beautiful children in Rome. Beautiful, beautiful children . . .
Suddenly, a voice shouted in my head, louder than Oblivion’s and mine combined. It felt as if someone was shaking me violently by the shoulders as they bellowed one word: NO!
The effect was the same as dumping a bucket of ice water over me. I gasped for air and lost the strength to stand. My chest heaved in and out, and I sank with my back to the stone wall of a building. My clothes were soaked in sweat for the second time that night. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t sit upright. If anyone had happened upon me at that moment, they would have seen a madman, eyes wild, features distorted in terror.
What’s wrong with me? I clutched the sides of my head. What did I almost do? I felt so vile and repulsive, I wanted to claw my own skin off. I cannot turn into this. I cannot! Yet there seemed no way to stop it. Slowly, inevitably, I was being dragged down by a demon.
I raised my eyes to the sky, but it was cloudy, overcast. There wasn’t a star in sight. Did I have any real chance of fighting this? Maybe my father was right. Maybe I really was a weakling. I was certainly beginning to feel that way as Oblivion pulled me to my feet, and we ventured into the underground once more.
Chapter 16
My first thought was that Oblivion summoned me to his lair so he could make me do unspeakable things. Then I reasoned that there was no one in the underground to do unspeakable things to. Unless he brought someone down there for me . . .
But when I arrived at the mirror, there was no one else in sight. That’s good, at least. I glanced around at the craggy stone walls. Everything was as before. If Oblivion wanted to haul people down here, he’d still need me to do it. As long as I maintain some semblance of myself, his control in this world is limited.
“Not for long, it isn’t.”
I turned around to face the mirror and saw Oblivion. Only he wasn’t as I left him.
He was still naked, but looked less like a small animal and more like a man. He stood upright, and taller. He didn’t walk bent forward anymore, but took slower, heavier steps. His hooves were that of a draft horse, his horns larger, like a bull’s.
His voice had changed as well. There was less of the double quality than before. And it was deeper, with a slight growl to it. But not warm and gravelly, the way Arthur’s was. This was more like one cold, hard stone moving against another. His skin was still black, but now had a shiny, lacquered look about it. His soulless eyes shone the same way as his skin: like deep, glistening pools. He would have seemed hideous to anyone else, but again, the words echoed in my mind. Beautiful, beautiful.
His branch-like fingers had turned into claws. He was cupping something in one hand and bringing bits of it to his mouth with the other. I watched him delicately select each piece, then close his eyes and savor it. He chewed slowly, and I could see his pointed teeth were larger now.
Ah, so demons do eat. I wonder what it is. Maybe it’s something I can have, too, if it exists in this realm. Maybe ingesting something normal, like human food, will delay or prevent my demon transition. But when I looked closer, I saw that wasn’t going to work at all. My eyes bulged. I covered my mouth with one hand as I staggered back, trying not to retch.
In Oblivion’s palm were bloody baby fingers.
“Ah! Delicious.” He finished the rest and smacked his lips. He wiped his hands on the sides of his thighs and turned to me. “Now, what were you saying about me having limited control?”
“You . . . you . . .” My nostrils flared, and I couldn’t breathe properly. “You si
ck, depraved—”
“Now, now.” Oblivion waggled his finger. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”
“You’re mad if you think I’m going to become anything like you. Don’t think I don’t know you caused those disasters. The freak storm, the hurricane. That huge wave from the Tiber, then the tsunami—”
“That wasn’t me per se,” Oblivion said. “Things like those are merely a natural consequence of my growing power on this earthly plane.”
“Horseshit,” I snapped. “You’re just having a go at humanity and you know it. Don’t pretend otherwise. You nearly made me kill Nocifari, rape and murder a little girl—”
“Oh, stop acting like a child.” Oblivion’s voice was much more commanding than in his previous incarnation. “Nocifari was going to kill us. I saved our lives. Did you really want that woman spoiling all our plans? Everything we worked thousands of years for?”
Oblivion had a point. We’d worked so hard. It would be a tragedy if it all went to waste because of one little—
Wait, no. I smacked my head repeatedly with both hands. “Stop that! I never wanted to bring about the destruction of the world, and I never will. Stop putting words in our mouths.” I squeezed my eyes shut and stamped my foot. “I meant my mouth, dammit!”
Oblivion laughed heartily, a laugh that still echoed more than it should, even in a cave. I balled up my fists and gnashed my teeth. This couldn’t go on. If it did, I would lose myself completely, and Oblivion would win. Forever.
“You act like it’s such a terrible thing, Joshua.” Oblivion gave me an indulgent smile, as if I were a having a tantrum. “We both win, forever, you and me. We’ll walk through the world more powerful than any being that ever was. We’ll cast off all the shackles of what it means to be human, all the limits and restrictions.” His eyes lit up and he put one fist in the air before him. “Our hearts will beat wild and free, untamed by anything petty and mortal.”
