“We call this smudging,” he said. As he held the bowl next to my heart, the smoke rose all around my head and then filled my lungs as I breathed it. “This is Shkodawabuk, or sage,” he said. “It was one of our four medicines. Tobacco is from the east, cedar from the south, sweetgrass from the north and sage from the west.”
I closed my eyes and listened to his words. For the first time in many days, I started to feel warm. Just a little bit.
“We use sage today, because sage is the medicine of purification and rebirth. As the sun sets in the west, the day dies and is reborn again after the night.”
When I opened my eyes again, I looked around at all the men and women, young and old. They were all watching me with quiet faces. Then the medicine man took his bowl to Vinnie, and then on to the next person until he had worked his way through the entire room.
Then he came back to Dorothy and performed the same ritual, enveloping her with the smoke from the bowl. When he finally spoke to the room, his message was brief.
We are many tribes, divided by borders and boundaries, but one people.
Dorothy Parrish has come back to our people, but in a way she never left, because we all belong to each other, and to the Earth.
We welcome her back to us and wish her well on her journey.
When the ceremony was over, the tribal members approached her one by one to hold her hands and give her their best wishes. I stood on the outside of it all, watching her.
When she finally looked over at me, I saw the medicine man look at his watch and say something to her. She nodded and said something in return, and then came over to me.
“Alex,” she said. “Thank you for coming here.”
“You look good,” I said.
“I don’t know what to say. You helped me so much.”
“I’m glad you’re safe,” I said.
“I’m sorry about everything that happened to you. I didn’t mean to pull you into the middle of everything.”
“I’m sure you didn’t plan it that way,” I said.
“You know, as soon as I met you, I knew I could trust you. I had been running so long, and I just wanted to stop. I knew you’d do the right thing, no matter what. You know what I mean?”
“I think so,” I said. I looked around the room and lowered my voice a notch. “When you took that bag…”
“I was still trying to decide what to do with it that night. Either take it to the police. Or else give it back to Molinov, ask him to go away and leave me alone. Leave all of us alone.”
“You get points for guts,” I said.
She smiled. “Did you see that moon tonight?”
“Yes, I did.”
“There was a fall moon the night I met you. Do you remember?”
“Yes,” I said. “You called it the wolf moon.”
“Yes,” she said. “The wolf moon, for protecting those close to you.”
“What’s this one called?”
“This is the ice moon,” she said. “For resting until it’s warm again.”
“Sounds like my kind of moon.”
“I should go,” she said. “I hope I see you again some day.”
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know yet,” she said. “A reservation somewhere. Here in Canada. I just want to be somewhere where I can have a little peace for a while.”
“I hope you find it,” I said.
“I will. I have my family back now.”
“Hey, you never did tell me your Ojibwa name.”
“It’s Waubun-anung,” she said. “It means ‘Morning Star.’ ”
“That’s a good name,” I said.
“Thank you.”
“Take care of yourself,” I said. “Morning Star.”
She gave me a kiss on the cheek, then left with the medicine man.
Vinnie and I walked back out into the night. We got into the car without saying a word. We drove back through Soo Canada, back over the bridge, into Soo Michigan and then west toward Paradise. The only sound in the car was the steady hum of the heater. “I’ve been thinking about getting a hockey team together again,” he finally said. “Do you want to play?”
“Are you kidding me?” I said.
“You were good in goal,” he said. “We could use you.”
“You are kidding,” I said. “Please tell me you’re making a joke.”
“You should play,” he said. “It’s not good being by yourself all the time. You think too much.”
When we were in Paradise, he asked me if he could buy me a drink at the Glasgow.
“It’s late,” I said.
“Jackie will still be there,” he said. “He’ll let us in.”
“No, thanks,” I said. “Not tonight.”
“Suit yourself,” he said. He dropped me off at my cabin.
“It was good to see her,” I said.
“I’m glad you got the chance,” he said. And then he left.
I stood outside my cabin for a while, breathing in the cold air, looking up at the ice moon.
So now what? Before any of this happened, I had made a vow to myself, of all the things I was going to do when the springtime came. The debts I was going to repay.
I pulled my coat tight around my neck.
Where is all my anger now? Where is the fire? I just feel tired and sore and cold.
Everything hurts. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to move.
It hurts to live.
The hell with it. Vinnie’s right. I think too much.
Whatever happens will happen. I’ll make things right again someday, no matter what I have to do, or where I have to go. And this man Molinov, it sounds like he may be hunting the same game. I have a feeling I’ll be running into him again.
But not tonight. Tonight I will close my eyes and feel the smoke touching my face again, the smoke of burning sage with its promise of a new day.
I need to rest. I need to heal myself.
For now, there is nothing to do but sleep under the ice moon.
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Winter of the Wolf Moon am-2 Page 24
