by D. J. Molles
Father Jim laid a hand on his shoulder. "Let me handle it, Captain. You look dead on your feet, and I'm not gonna be able to sleep anyways." He smiled. "Some people crash after a fight. I tend to lie awake."
"You sure?"
But Jim and Julia were already escorting the family towards the medical trailer. Lee was too tired to argue, and frankly lacked the concern. He needed to sleep. Maybe he would actually give a shit in the morning.
Harper and LaRouche both threw up their hands and yawned, one after the other.
Harper smacked his lips. "Guess that means we're good. Don't wake me up again."
Lee smiled and turned toward the Camp Ryder building where he could see the tall frame of Bus making his way towards him, looking half-asleep and very confused, holding onto his M4 by the carrying handle.
"What happened?" Bus looked at the family being escorted into the medical trailer.
Lee motioned towards them, but kept walking. "Newcomers."
"Oh." Bus watched them for a second longer, but then turned and fell in with Lee. "Did you leave? I thought I heard the gate opening."
"Yeah. The guy was banging on the gate. We went out and grabbed his family from the back of an overturned tractor trailer. They were holed up in there, surrounded by a pack of infected."
"What? Damn." Bus rubbed his curly head. "I can't believe I missed all of that. I must've really been out of it."
"He's a mechanic," Lee added. "Diesel mechanic."
"Really?"
Lee stopped at the front steps to the Camp Ryder building and looked back over his shoulder. "Yeah…I dunno."
"Don't know what?"
"I don't know about him."
Bus followed Lee's gaze, but they could only see the glow of the lantern inside the medical trailer. A few people standing around outside, rubbernecking before they hurried back to their shacks, rubbing their arms in the cold.
"You get a bad vibe from him?" Bus asked.
"No." Lee shook his head. "I really haven't had a chance to think about it."
"We rescue people all the time," Bus pointed out. "What's different about him?"
Lee couldn't really put his finger on it. It wasn't Eddie so much that Lee had an issue with, but how he hadn't been able to control the situation. It had been such a rush to get out and bring them back in. With other refugees, Lee usually had a chance to speak with them at length and develop a good sense of whether they were decent people or not.
"Just indulge me," he concluded his thoughts. "Get the sentries on shift to keep an eye on them. They should be able to see the medical trailer from their post. I just don't want to give him free reign of the camp until I've had a chance to make up my mind about him."
"He's a diesel mechanic," Bus smiled.
Lee couldn't help but smile back. A mechanic was such a stroke of good luck that Eddie could have been a raging lunatic and they might have welcomed him anyway. "I'm sure everything will be fine. Just wanna be careful."
Bus stretched his neck. "I'll talk to the sentries."
They parted ways and Lee continued up to the foreman's office where he dropped his gear at the foot of his bedroll and collapsed into it. Groggily he recalled his dead Aimpoint sight and he took a moment to scrounge a spare AA battery from his pack and replace the one in the sight. With his eyes drooping closed on him, he laid the rifle beside him, still loaded and ready. He barely had time to take off his boots and pull the blankets over himself before he was fast asleep once more.
***
Lee slept for three more hours, and could have slept longer but Camp Ryder was waking up below him and the smells of something on the cookfires made him realize that he was painfully hungry again. He could hear the clamor and talking of the people on the main level, everyone getting ready for their day and whatever it held. Some would go off and scavenge a bit, some would set up their little trading posts. Everyone had a job to do, and it took a lot of work to keep everything running smoothly.
With the scavengers finding their own sources of food to barter with, some of the people in the camp were able to provide for themselves, though it was usually only one meal out of the day. Generally speaking, most that could feed themselves, did so for their midday meals, while breakfast and dinner remained largely communal.
Lee sat up in his bedroll and looked to his left. Nothing of Julia's was in the room. She had not come back after last night's excursion. She had probably spent the last few hours caring for the Ramirez family.
He twisted a few times to get the kinks out of his back and began drawing circles in the air with his foot, working some blood into the joint and loosening up the tendons. When he felt it was ready for him to stand on, he got up and pulled on his boots. He shuffled over to the radio unit, taking a look out the office window to see the world bathed in bright sunlight. The solar panels would get a good charge.
He checked to make sure he was on the right channel as he took the handset and keyed it. "Captain Harden to Wilson, or anyone at Outpost Lillington."
Wilson must have been in the truck, because his answer was almost immediate. "Yeah, this is Wilson. Go ahead."
"Everything go alright last night?"
"Yeah. I don't know what the meeting was about, but the professor came back fucking pissed about something. No one would even speak to us. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," Lee rolled his eyes. "Everything will be fine. Do a check and make sure they have everything set up before you leave, okay? Come straight back here and do nothing."
"Do nothing?"
"Yeah. R&R."
"Oh." Strangely, it was only until Lee heard the surprise in Wilson's voice that he realized how much they ran themselves ragged. Every day they were running to this place or that, putting out fires, making contact with and escorting bands of survivors, debriefing people, scavenging, and fighting. They were all beyond exhaustion now. They had entered that rut where they were so used to running themselves into the ground that they didn't even think twice about it anymore.
Lee keyed his mike. "We'll see you when you get here. Be safe."
"Thanks. We will."
Lee set the handset back on the cradle.
They needed a day to get everything in order.
Sanford might be a tough nut to crack.
CHAPTER 8: A DELICATE MATTER
Lee went downstairs and discovered that the line for breakfast was almost gone. People stood around and talked, holding the battered plastic plates that had once been considered "disposable," but were now rinsed and reused for as long as they would hold together. A quick glance at a few of the plates revealed that breakfast today was some sort of scramble consisting of dehydrated eggs, some bits of dehydrated vegetables, and little chunks of meat, most likely what was left of the venison.
Marie was leaning against the wall, having a small plate to herself. She smiled and waved her plastic fork at him as he approached.
"Well, hey there, Captain!" she set her plate down. "How've you been?"
Lee smiled and nodded. "Got some sleep, so I'm feeling pretty good."
Marie looked about as tired as he felt, though her demeanor was cheery. She worked hard to feed a lot of mouths, and though things weren’t as tight as they had been when she’d been forced to give everyone only a half-scoop of rice and beans at dinner, it was a daily battle for her to scrape up enough to feed seventy-some-odd people. The worries of an inevitable lean winter tugged at the corners of her mouth and gave her smile a downward slant.
She took a plate and gave him a wink as she began piling on a larger-than-normal portion for him. "I heard about last night," she said quietly. "Everything go okay?"
"Yeah." Lee put his hands on the table and leaned on it to take the weight off his ankle for a moment. "No one got hurt, and I think the family is all going to be okay. Julia checked them out last night, and I haven't heard any bad news, so I'm assuming they're all okay."
Marie nodded. "Where you think I get all my intel from? Yes, the family is oka
y."
Lee chuckled. "Of course. Did she tell you he was a diesel mechanic?"
"I heard." She handed the plate to Lee. "That's great news."
Lee regarded his portions. "Wow. That's a lot of food."
She gave him a critical look up and down and waved the serving ladle at him. "Yeah, I'm putting you on double portions, mister. You're looking a bit thin."
Lee patted his stomach. “I'm solid as a rock."
"A very skinny rock."
"Is it really that noticeable?"
"Look at your pants."
Lee looked down. His jacket was open so he could see the front belt-line of his pants. The belt was tightened down so that the loose-fitting waist was bunched up. He shook his head. "No, the pants have just stretched out a little."
"Go eat your food before your pants fall off."
Lee grabbed a fork. "Thanks, Marie."
"Hey there, Lee." Angela appeared beside him and put a lingering hand on his arm. "Breakfast was delicious," she complimented Marie.
"Thanks," Marie smiled back, and Lee noticed her eyes flick to him, as though gauging his response to Angela's presence. "How's Abby?"
"She's good." Angela sighed. "Much better, thank you."
Ever since Lee had rescued Angela and Abby—after gunning their infected husband and father down right in front of them—Angela had worried about Abby's increasing withdrawal. She spoke very little over the following months, acted out around Lee, and often refused meals. Just recently, inside the relative safety of Camp Ryder, she'd begun to open up a bit more. Now she was playing with some of the other children, and Angela said she was acting more like her old self.
Her attitude towards Lee had not changed, but Lee could not blame her for that. She was young, and her understanding of things was limited. It would be a long time before she was able to wrap her brain around why Lee had killed her father.
Lee wasn't sure what had happened inside Angela’s mind, but she had never held any animosity towards Lee for what he had done, and he had never seen her grieve for her late husband. It was too much of a sensitive and uncomfortable subject for Lee to broach, so he stayed the hell away from it.
Throughout the last few months, they had grown closer and it was the closeness of two survivors that have made it to the other side of some wretched crucible together. Though their trials were far from over, that common thread still bound them, and the comfort that they took from each other had grown.
Whether there was a name for this type of relationship, or whether it was some strange psychological syndrome that they were suffering from as a result of what they had been through together, Lee hadn't the slightest idea. Nor did he care to ruminate on it.
"Glad to hear it," Marie said, breaking into Lee's thoughts. "Captain, you eat your food. Angela, make sure he eats it all."
"You are looking a little thin," Angela pointed out.
"Great." He looked at the two women. "Gettin' it from all sides now."
Lee took his plate of food and headed for the door.
Angela walked beside him. "Little crowded in here. You wanna eat outside?"
"Yeah, that's fine."
Outside, the shade was chilly, but the sun was warm. It would be more pleasant today than it had been in several days. Perhaps the last week had just been a cold snap. In Lee's experience, the temperatures during a North Carolina November fluctuated greatly. It might be forty degrees out one day and seventy the next. Typically, though, Lee noticed that it would begin to chill towards the end of November. Then there would be one last little heat wave of sixty-or-seventy degree temperatures, as though summer was attempting to get one last kick in, and then the climate would fall into winter.
They chose a place in the sun where a few plastic crates had been set up around a small fire pit that no one appeared to be using. Lumps of ashes were all that remained of the fuel that had burned the night before. There was still some mild warmth coming from underneath the blanket of gray.
Angela sat beside him on another crate and clasped her hands between her knees, facing the sun and seeming to enjoy the warmth. She looked content.
Lee chewed a few bites and swallowed. "Where's Sam today?"
"He went out with Keith again. They left really early this morning."
"Oh." Lee nodded. "Hunting?"
"Yeah. Rabbits and squirrels."
"Okay."
Angela looked at him, one blue eye regarding him, while the other squinted shut against the morning sun. "I think he knows that you're very busy," she said. "I don't think he holds it against you."
"Well, I wasn't planning on doing anything today," Lee picked at a bit of venison in his teeth and wondered why he felt so responsible for the damn kid. Guilty that he was gone all the time, like Sam was his own son and Lee was missing his baseball games to go on business trips. "It's not like that," Lee murmured to his own thoughts.
"Like what?" Angela asked.
Lee tapped the fork against the plate. "I'm not his father."
Angela hesitated for a moment. "I know that. I'm sure he knows that too."
Lee sighed and leaned back on his crate a bit, slouching his shoulders. "I feel like I should be."
She turned partially towards him and rested her head on her hand. "Why?"
"I guess I feel partially responsible for his father's death. I didn't stop his father's death, and I saved Sam. That makes me the de facto caretaker."
Angela shook her head. "Sam likes you, Lee. You're like a hero to him. But I think he views you as more of a...big brother. Or maybe an uncle."
"Hm." Lee considered this.
"You can't really replace a child's parents, Lee."
"I wasn't trying to replace..."
"At his age, that's a hole that's never going to get filled. All you can do now is be a friend."
Lee set his empty plate down on the ground beside him. "Yeah, I suppose so."
Angela reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "You do good."
He smiled guardedly. "Thanks."
They passed another ten minutes, just sitting in the sun and enjoying the warmth. Angela sat with her elbows leaning against her knees, and her hands clasped in front of her, a contemplative pose, and he sensed that she was taking her time, considering her words.
When she spoke, it was delicately. "I want to ask you something, I don't want you to be angry at me. I just...need to know something."
Lee tensed, a bowstring being drawn back.
"How do you feel about Julia?"
There it is, Lee thought. You knew it was coming.
"Julia," Lee said with a deep breath. "Why do you ask?"
Angela laughed, but it sounded sad. "We're not married, Lee. Stop putting responsibilities on yourself that don't exist."
"Yeah, I know." Lee turned slightly so he was looking at Angela. She was shading one side of her face with a hand. Her smile was enigmatic. "Julia...is a good teammate."
The smile remained, but Angela looked away from Lee. "Old Captain Harden. Always such a secretive creature."
Lee scratched underneath his chin where his beard itched. "Well...what do you want me to say?"
"I don't want you to say anything."
A moment of silence passed between them and they both just looked out at the barren woods beyond the barbed-wire-topped fences.
"I don't know what we are," Lee stated.
"Who?"
"Me and you."
Angela considered this at length. Lee was surprised that she did not have a ready answer for him. He had always kind of figured that he was the only one confused about things, and that she would have a better idea of what was going on. Apparently the mystery of them was just as elusive to her.
"I don't know," she said, as though coming to a decision. "But I think we trust each other. I think we lean on each other. Maybe because we don't think there is anyone else to lean on."
A gust of wind blew a bit of hair into her face and she hooked it with a finger and drew it
back. "Maybe there would be more between us if we didn't both realize just how fucked up that would be."
They both laughed suddenly.
"Right?" She looked at him, sheepishly.
"Yeah," Lee smiled at the ground. "I guess it would be kind of fucked up."
Another long silence.
"It's sad, actually," she said.
"How so?"
"It's sad that we still think like that, when obviously things have changed." Angela looked at her hands and the stubborn dirt under her fingernails that she picked at incessantly. "Otherwise..."
Lee waited for her to finish, but she did not.
She sniffed and Lee thought it sounded wet, but when he looked she had turned her face away from him. Her voice was solid when she spoke. "You don't have to sleep up in the office, you know."
"Alright."
He didn't want to leave her question unanswered.
"Julia is a good friend," he said. "A good teammate."
"You can tell me if you like her."
"I do in some ways," Lee said earnestly. "In other ways she pisses me off."
Angela smiled. "And you can tell me if you have feelings for her."
Lee shook his head. "I'll let you know if that happens."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Captain Harden," a voice said from behind them.
Lee turned and found a man of about thirty years that he recognized from Camp Ryder. He'd never had much reason to speak with the man, but they'd been friendly in passing. He was one of those that gave Lee a respectful nod when he saw him, but never approached, and the extent of any conversations they had were one word greetings.
"What can I do for you?" Lee's expression was cautious.
The man glanced quickly between Lee and Angela, but whatever he was thinking remained a mystery. He pointed in a general direction towards the Camp Ryder building. "Could I get you to come with me for a moment? It won't take long."
Lee looked at Angela and she nodded graciously. He stood and motioned the man forward. "Lead the way."
