Soon they had Logan’s slacks pressing, and Seth ran the iron over the cheap white dress shirt. He wished Logan could wear one of his, but his shoulders were too broad. Logan said, “Got it!” as he extricated a crumpled tie from a duffel bag.
“Er… Would you like to borrow one of mine?” Please borrow one of mine.
Logan laughed. “Sure. Boss lady has expensive taste. In the closet?”
“Yes, there’s a rack.”
A low whistle sounded. “Is there ever. You have a shit-ton of ties.”
“I suppose I do. Here, let me see. Put this on.”
The dark green tie had silver highlights, and it complemented Logan’s hazel-y eyes. As Logan fiddled with the knot, Seth found himself reaching up and gently knocking Logan’s hands away. He fixed the knot and straightened Logan’s collar, Logan’s breath puffing across Seth’s face.
“There,” Seth said, his voice hitching. He cleared his throat. “Suits you.”
“I’ll try not to spill on it. And don’t worry—it’s going to be fine.” Logan squeezed Seth’s shoulder, sending warmth spiraling through him. “We can fake it.”
The warmth fled, and Seth backed away, nodding. He bumped into the wall. “Yep! I’ll go check on the potatoes.”
He escaped to the kitchen, all beautiful and gleaming now thanks to Logan, and tried to focus on the meal. Yes, it was time to be professional. This was for his career, and Logan was right.
We can fake it.
Chapter Twelve
“It is such a treat to be in a real-live home.” Angela tinkled with jewelry as she walked, her sparkly earrings Christmas wreaths this time with diamonds and rubies and emeralds—or really shiny fakes, but Logan figured they were the real deal.
She’d also changed from her high-heeled boots into a pair of red-soled stilettos that tapped the wood floors with her confident strides through Seth’s sitting room and into the open kitchen.
Fiddling with his tie, Logan stared at the shoes, trying to remember what they were called. When he looked up, he realized Angela had noticed. Laughing awkwardly, he said, “Uh, nice shoes. Are they French or something?”
“You have an eye for fashion, huh?” Angela beamed. “The gays often do! They’re Loubou-tin.”
Dale cleared his throat, looking like he wanted to say something, but after a second, he just smiled without teeth. Since Seth was by the kitchen island looking like a deer in the headlights, apparently already freaking out having the boss lady in his house, Logan needed to say something.
So because he was a moron, he said, “My wife wanted a pair of those. She saw them on TV or something.”
Angela’s shiny red lips formed an O before she tilted her head sympathetically. “I understand she passed.”
He choked down his irritation at the wording and nodded. “Uh, anyway.”
Seth asked too loudly, “Can I get you both a drink?”
“I’ll have a G and T,” Dale said—whatever that was. He’d arrived wearing a dark suit but had left the jacket of it hanging with his coat.
Angela was still fixed on Logan. “I think it’s remarkable that you’ve been able to find happiness again. And with a man! Love is love.”
He nodded, not looking at Seth. Not thinking about how much happier he really had been the past week or so. “Thanks.” He thought of Veronica again, guilt bubbling up.
Seth toured Angela and Dale around, and Logan was pleased that they complimented the holiday decorations. He had to say that the tree looked damn good, tall and glittery with colorful lights and balls and everything. It made the great room really cozy, especially with the gas fire burning. He’d debated between a star and angel on top, and decided Seth was an angel type of guy.
Once Angela and Dale had their cocktails, complete with fancy stir sticks, Seth put out trays of little appetizers on the great room’s coffee table, and they sat there talking about BRK and Angela’s kids and cheerleading. Angela was like one of those old toys that you wound up, and Logan was more than happy to nod and smile and let her yammer on. Seth and Dale seemed to be too.
After finishing a beer that Seth had poured into a glass for him, Logan shrugged into his coat to go fire up the grill, more than happy to escape the small talk. Angela had informed them the driver was arriving at nine since it was a “school night,” and Logan figured the guy would be right on time. He had to make sure dinner wasn’t late, and even though Pop had taught Seth the basics, he’d asked Logan to handle the barbecue.
“So you’re the manly meat griller?” Angela asked with a weird wink.
“Yep.” Logan had decided to just agree with everything she said.
She took a bite of a cracker with cheese. “Do you find the bisexual men are usually like that?”
At the sliding door, Logan shoved his feet into his boots. “Sure!” He escaped outside and turned on the gas, hoping the snowflakes drifting down wouldn’t get any thicker. He probably should have grabbed his gloves, his fingers going numb, the freezing air harsh.
His lungs hitched, and he fought back a flare of panic before exhaling in a plume of frost. He could still breathe. Everything was fine. It was all in his asshole head.
Bisexual.
Logan poured more oil, brushing it onto the grill. It was fine that Angela had assumed it about him. Shouldn’t bother him if she thought that. It wasn’t him—he’d always been straight. But it was fine.
The oil sizzled on the metal, and he poured more, sloshing too much and getting it over his freezing hand. Snowflakes caught on the oil and melted.
Sure, he and Seth were getting off. And Seth wasn’t the first dude Logan had hooked up with. But that didn’t make him bisexual. That was for pretentious college kids trying to be adventurous or some shit. Didn’t apply to him.
He brushed on more oil, drops splattering all over the place. Maybe he was looking forward to being alone with Seth later, but it didn’t mean anything. Seth was awesome at sucking cock—which made sense since he was a real gay guy. Logan was only doing him a favor, but there was nothing wrong with enjoying it.
“How’s it coming?”
Logan jumped the way Jenna did when Pop came up behind and tickled her. Seth said, “Sorry to sneak up,” as he closed the sliding door behind him, his parka unzipped. He rubbed his bare hands, blowing into them. “Should it be smoking like that?”
“Shit,” Logan muttered. “Nah, bit too much oil. But it’ll burn off.” He’d messed up a simple job. Typical. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m sure you’ve got it all under control. You manly creature, you.”
Logan adjusted the barbecue’s shelf, his smile hurting his cheeks. “Right. I guess that’s me.”
Seth took Logan’s shoulder, strong and comforting and weirdly warm, even through the bulk of Logan’s jacket. “You okay? I know Angela is a bit…much with all her questions.” He smiled, and gritted out, “And I’m pretty sure she’s watching us now. It’s like she’s never seen a same-sex couple in their natural habitat.” He dropped his hand and whispered, “Not that we’re…”
Logan murmured, “I get it.” He could feel Angela’s gaze on them as well. Dale was probably bored shitless. Giving Seth a wink and a sly smile, Logan drew him closer, his arm slipping under Seth’s parka. He spread his hand on Seth’s waist and nuzzled his cheek.
Seth’s laugh was a little high-pitched. He whispered, “Should I pretend you’re saying something really dirty?”
Logan chuckled as he leaned back. “Always.” There were fat snowflakes caught in Seth’s dark hair, and Logan automatically brushed them away. Seth glanced up at the dark sky, and when he lowered his head, there was a flake right on his lower lip.
And Logan kissed it away before it could melt, barely a little press of his mouth on Seth’s. It was nothing—only a split second—but Logan couldn’t believe he’d just done it.
Chest too tight again, he dropped his hand from Seth’s back as he turned to the grill. He said too loudly, “Meat.”
Seth seemed frozen in place, more snow catching in his hair, the lips that Logan had just kissed parted. Blinking, Seth said, “What?” Then he nodded. “Steak. Yes! I’ll get the steak. We need to—yes, right. Dinner! I’ll get the meat.” He whirled around and almost tripped in his unlaced boots. He waved, and Logan realized Angela was definitely watching them.
She was smiling like a maniac, her hands pressed to her chest and shaking her head. Was she going to cry or some shit? As Seth opened the door, Logan could hear her exclaim, “Sugar, it’s so beautiful to see you two together. Like I always say, love is—”
The glass door slid shut, cutting her off. Logan fiddled with the grill, his heart pounding. It was all part of the act. Kissing Seth like that wasn’t anything. They had a deal. And Angela was eating it up, so it was working. That promotion was as good as done. Logan breathed a little easier. He wanted Seth to get the promotion. Seth deserved good things.
And in the new year, Logan would unfuck his life. He’d figure out a way to get a job, and he’d take care of Connor. He wasn’t sure how, but first things first. He had to concentrate on helping Seth. This was something he could accomplish.
Seth returned with the steaks. “So far, so good. Thanks again for all this. I know it must be…” He motioned with his hand. “Anyway, thank you.”
“All good,” Logan said, focusing on the grill and the steaks, getting the temp just right. “We’ve got this.” He bumped Seth’s shoulder, and Seth leaned back into him.
Once they had dinner on the table, Angela and Dale praised the food, and Logan had to say it was all delicious. He had to stop himself from shoveling it in too fast, and said, “The potatoes are amazing.”
“Thanks, hon,” Seth said with a smile from the other end of the table, and Logan smiled back. A Christmas carol played softly in the background, sung by one of those big church choirs with pretty voices.
Logan’s phone buzzed. “Shit, sorry.” He grimaced as he pulled it from his pocket to switch it off. “Uh, sorry for the language too.”
Angela laughed, almost a cackle. “Shit, sugar, I’ve heard far worse.” She winked. “Might’ve said worse too. Go ahead and check it. Might be your boy.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah. Says he did well on his last exam.” Logan snorted. “And that the joke I sent was stupid.” He quickly typed back: Good job. And that joke was hilarious. Connor’s immediate reply was an eye-roll emoji, but for some reason it didn’t feel like he really meant it. Logan smiled and slipped the phone back in his pocket.
Angela swallowed a bite of steak. “He’s thirteen? Get ready for that attitude for years to come. All our jokes are lame and we’re clueless. They’ve got all the answers.”
Seth laughed. “That sounds about right with Connor.”
Logan smiled at Angela tentatively. “So it’s not just me who doesn’t know anything?”
“This is all part of having a teenager, trust me. My girls think they know every darn thing there is to know.”
“So how do you stay patient?” Logan asked.
Angela lifted her glass. “Lots of Merlot. But really, it’s hard sometimes. You just want to shake them and stop them from making mistakes you can see coming a mile away. I remind myself that it’s my job to love them through all their mistakes. Hug them when they need it, and especially when they think they don’t. Because they sure need all the hugs and patience we can give them. Even when they’re bein’ assholes. Especially then.”
Logan’s throat suddenly tightened thinking of Connor’s regular scowl and crossed arms, how he kept himself an angry little island. Logan had to get through to him. He had to make it better. Nodding, he said, “Thank you,” to Angela and meant it.
“Connor’s a real challenge, but Logan’s doing a wonderful job,” Seth said. “Parenting isn’t easy. I’m so proud of him.” He smiled at Logan, and it was probably just bullshit for Angela’s sake, but damn if Logan didn’t want so badly to make Seth proud for real.
“Sugar, you just have to keep trying. I was probably the same as a teenager, although my daddy had the patience of Job.” She smirked. “Momma, not so much.” Her face softened. “But with Connor’s momma gone, it must be real hard on him. Especially at Christmastime.”
Logan nodded, pushing his roasted squash and parsnip around his plate. “First Christmas without her.”
Seth cleared his throat in the silence and said, “But we’re determined to give him a wonderful holiday. The retreat will be the perfect start.”
“It’s going to be fabulous,” Angela said. “Isn’t it, Dale?”
Dale nodded and actually spoke more than a few words. “There’ll be sleigh rides and snowman-building contests. Sledding and skating. Crafts and lots of food, and there’s a big indoor pool as well. A Santa’s coming with toys during lunch. We think the children will be thrilled.”
“Wow,” Seth said. “How did you plan all this last minute?”
Angela winked at Dale. “Dale’s my little miracle worker. Don’t ask him how the sausage gets made—just enjoy the taste. Speaking of taste—Seth, you and Logan have hit it out of the park.”
“Oh, thank you,” Seth said. “I’m so glad you’re enjoying it.”
Logan noticed Dale’s smile seemed a little tight, a twitch in his cheek before it smoothed out again. How the sausage was made probably involved a fuck-ton of work for Dale with no complaining.
Seth added, “Logan’s dad helped with the grilling. I admit I’m a newbie.”
Angela beamed. “Isn’t that one of the best things about family? Passing on traditions and recipes and old-fashioned how-to. Imagine how much would be lost if gays were all cast out? Everyone needs family. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.”
She lifted her wineglass for a toast, and they all followed suit. Logan could tell Seth’s smile was fake, although he wasn’t sure how he knew. Probably because Seth’s family were shit-bricks, and it must suck even more at Christmas.
Angela said, “Here’s to Seth and Logan and your lovely little family. I can’t wait to meet Connor this weekend.” After she drank, she added, “And Logan, a little birdie tells me you baked your momma’s famous chocolate cake for dessert?”
“Oh, yeah. I hope it doesn’t suck.” He gulped too much of the red wine, which was a little sweet and went down easy. “I mean, if my mom had made it, it definitely wouldn’t suck. But I followed the recipe exactly.”
He wondered what she would have made of all this with him pretending to be Seth’s boyfriend. The only image that came to mind was her lopsided grin and the devilish spark in her blue eyes. She would have played along really well.
“It’s going to be delicious,” Seth said. “I may or may not have tasted a tiny little bit of the frosting. Mmm.” He gave Logan a wink, and then seemed shocked by himself, his cheeks going red.
It was adorable, and Logan grinned.
“So, what do you do on the railway?” Angela asked him.
The warm, cozy feeling exploded like a grenade. Logan squeezed his fork, the reminder that he was a total failure slamming him back down to earth. He should have just lied again, but for some fucked-up reason, he found himself saying, “Actually, I had a bad accident last year. I can’t do that work anymore. I’m looking for something else, but…” But I’m a useless sack of shit.
She gasped, and Dale made sympathetic noises. Angela said, “I’m so sorry to hear that, sugar! Are you all healed up now?”
He didn’t feel like he’d ever be, but Logan said, “Mostly.”
“Logan’s a veteran as well,” Seth said. “He served a tour as a Marine. I really think more should be done to support vets in finding employment.”
“Thank you for your service,” Angela said to Logan very seriously. “And I could not agree more, Seth. Dale, make a note to look into job opportunities for Logan.”
Oh, fuck no. “I don’t want charity!” He shifted on Seth’s new wooden chair, barely stopping himself from shoving back from the table
. “I can do honest work for honest pay.” His face felt hot, and he wasn’t going to be able to breathe in a second.
But Angela didn’t seem bothered by his outburst. “I assure you it wouldn’t be charity. I expect damn hard work from every one of my employees. Or from anyone I recommend to business partners. I’m making connections in Albany, and you never know what jobs might come up. This is how it works. Nothing wrong with getting a foot in the door. Then it’s up to you to walk through it and not get tossed out on your butt. I make no bones about inheriting my company from my daddy on a silver platter. But I’ve worked my tail off to expand it and make it even more of a success. I will continue to work hard. It ain’t charity.”
Logan realized he was gripping the edge of the table, and he exhaled, sitting back and dropping his hands. “I… I see what you’re saying. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She gave him a kind smile. “And don’t be a dumbass with too much pride either.”
Logan had to laugh. “That’s good advice.”
Seth laughed too. “Words to live by.” He added, “Logan’s quite handy and has experience as a contractor. He built that wine rack into the kitchen island.”
“I was admiring that!” Angela exclaimed, and it didn’t seem like bullshit.
“He finished the kitchen as well and helped with all the decorating,” Seth said, and Logan supposed it was true.
“What a beautiful home you boys have built together.” Angela lifted her glass again. “Here’s to your first Christmas here as a family, and many happy and healthy years to come.”
Logan drank, not meeting Seth’s eyes. Wishing—just for a crazy minute—that it could all be true.
Chapter Thirteen
“Well.” Seth closed the front door and leaned against it. “We did it.”
They’d stood shivering in the doorway waving as Angela’s driver had backed down the long drive and out onto the snowy street. Logan rubbed his hands, enjoying the warmth and the relief. He loosened his tie and pulled it off over his head.
The Christmas Deal Page 14
