Fireworks lit up the night sky above us as we swayed our sparklers through the air.
A part of me wanted to stay frozen in this moment forever, but life didn’t have a pause button and you had to keep moving forward. So that’s what I was doing.
Chapter Thirty
As I drove to the farm my hand shook with nerves against the steering wheel. I wasn’t even nervous for myself, oh no this shaking jittery mess I’d become was reserved solely for worrying about Jude.
I hoped and prayed that everything went okay when he met Julia and Archer. I was going to be there for support, but there wasn’t much I could do to distract him if this turned out to be a really bad idea. On second thought, I could probably flash him my boob and he’d be a happy camper.
I’d stopped at Starbucks on my way to the farm and gotten myself an iced coffee. I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night and needed the caffeine to keep me awake.
The lack of sleep was due entirely to the fact that while we were having lunch with Julia and Archer, my dad would be arriving home. Jude and I were supposed to have dinner with him and I was worrying myself sick over what might transpire between us.
Today was going to be full of family time, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
When I pulled up in front of the farmhouse I spotted Jude sitting on the porch steps, his elbows resting on his knees with his head in his hands. He looked as tired as me. I got out of the car, coffee in hand, and sat down beside him.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, staring out at the horses grazing beyond us.
“Scared out of mind,” he admitted. “I have a fucking brother, how weird is that, Tate?” He peered down at me with his dark eyes. “But what if he hates me? What if all this blows up in my face?”
I set my drink beside me on the step and wrapped my hands around his muscular arm, giving it a light squeeze. “You can’t worry about that,” I shrugged. “Think positive. He might be a really cool guy, or he could be a major douche nozzle, in which case I will gladly kick him in the balls for you.” I smiled innocently, batting my eyelashes.
That got him to laugh, which had been my goal. “You’d that for me, wouldn’t you?”
“Uh, of course,” I looked at him like I was crazy. “I already took on a guy three times my size for you. I think I’ve proven my worth. After all, look at this face,” I pointed at myself, “no one expects me to be such a badass, so they never see me coming.”
“God, I love you,” he laughed, slinging his arm over my shoulders and pulling my body against his. He rubbed his face into my hair, humming under his breath.
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you trying to distract me with your declarations of love?” I slid away from him, quirking my lips so he’d know I was only joking. “Check out these muscles, Brooks,” I flexed my arms. “I’m like your own personal bodyguard.”
“Gotta keep the chicks away from me, don’t you?” He chuckled, reaching for me and lifting me onto his lap.
“Hell yes,” I nodded with a grin. “You’re a slut magnet. These bitches best learn to back up off my man.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, staring into his eyes. “Don’t worry,” I leaned forward, my voice growing serious, “I trust you.”
“You do?” He asked, surprise coloring his tone.
“I do,” I stated firmly. My voice softening, I frowned. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”
He smoothed his fingers through my blonde hair and then took my chin in his hand. “It’s in the past now, baby. I’m over it. Sitting here with the woman of my dreams in my arms I’ve never been happier. That’s what I choose to focus on. Every relationship has ups and downs, Tate,” he smoothed his thumb over my jaw, “that’s normal. I’ve learned to cherish every moment you choose to spend with me.” His eyes dropped to my lips and his eyes darkened. “Because with you by my side I’m the luckiest son of a bitch on this whole damn earth.”
My lips quirked into a half smile. “That was quite the declaration.”
“It’s the truth,” he stated flatly. His eyes darkened with heat. “You’re worth it all, Tate.”
I grinned at that and he chuckled.
“Ah, there’s the dimple I love,” he leaned forward, kissing my cheek. “I still don’t get to see it often enough,” he added with a slight frown. “We’ve got to work on that.”
“Don’t worry, Brooks,” I burrowed my body against his, tucking my head under his neck, “I think you’re going to be seeing a lot more of it.”
He didn’t respond and I felt his body stiffen in my arms.
About that time I heard the sounds of the car.
I eased off of Jude’s lap to sit beside him. He reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight. His Adam’s apple bobbed with nervousness.
“It’ll be okay,” I assured him.
He nodded, his eyes never leaving the car. It came to a stop and dust from the gravel clouded the air.
“What do I do?” Jude asked, sounding panicked.
I stood, giving his hand a light tug. “You go say hi and we go from there.”
A tall guy got out of the SUV on the driver’s side. He appeared as nervous as Jude. His dark hair hung in waves over his forehead and his eyes were a piercing gray. He stood against the side of the vehicle with his arms crossed.
A woman, Julia I assumed, got out of the passenger side.
We all stood staring at each other for a moment and I decided it looked like I’d be the one to have to break the awkward silence.
I let go of Jude’s hand and stepped up to Archer. “Hi,” I squared my shoulders, determined not to show my nerves, “I’m Tatum, and this is Jude.” I pointed my thumb over my shoulder in the general direction of where Jude hovered. “This is all very awkward,” I whispered conspiratorially, like I was letting him in on a secret, “so why don’t we all just introduce ourselves and head inside for lunch? Sound good?”
Archer chuckled, and his laugh sounded so much like Jude’s I nearly reared back. Then, when he pushed his hair out of his eyes and I got a good look at his face I was even more surprised by the similarities. They had the same pouty lips and angular jaw. While their eyes were different colors they both had the same shape and piercing quality to them.
“I’m Archer,” he extended his hand, “but I guess you knew that already.” He winked.
Jude stepped forward and put a possessive hand on my shoulder. “Nice to meet you,” he said, but there was a hardness to his voice.
Archer’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Don’t worry little brother, I’m not trying to hit on your girl.” He held his left hand in the air, tapping his thumb against his ring finger. “Happily married for the last six months.”
“Oh.” Jude dropped his hand from my shoulder. Smiling sheepishly, he added, “Sorry.”
Julia came around the vehicle and smiled pleasantly at the both of us. It seemed she’d needed a minute to gather herself. “I’m sorry, I…it’s strange being back here after so long.” She looked up at the house behind us. “I spent many years at this house when I was growing up.” Julia turned and smiled at me, then at Jude. “Can I hug you?” She asked Jude.
He seemed startled by the question. He hadn’t said it, but I knew he expected her to hate him. After all, she’d caught Jude’s dad cheating on her with his mom. But looking at the kind woman in front of us, it was clear there was no bad blood—at least where Jude was concerned.
“Uh…” He paused, his brows furrowing together. “Sure.”
Immediately Julia enveloped him in her arms. It wasn’t the hug of a stranger either. No, she hugged him like a mom. I saw Jude relax in her arms and tears stung my eyes. Jude needed this more than anything else.
She released him and patted his cheek with a small smile curving her lips. “Where’s Jerry?” She looked behind us, waiting for him to appear.
“He was taking a nap,” Jude shrugged. “He should be up soon. I…uh…I didn’t tell you when we talked but he,” Jude�
�s face crumpled, “Pap has Alzheimer’s.”
“Oh.” Julia’s mouth parted in surprise.
Archer didn’t have any obvious reaction, but I didn’t expect him to. He didn’t know Jerry.
“Yeah,” Jude nodded, “he has good days and bad days. Today was a good day before his nap, so let’s hope it stays that way. Come on,” he nodded towards the house, “we don’t need to stand out here all day. I already fixed lunch.”
“You cook?” Julia asked with surprise, following Jude inside.
“Yeah,” I heard him tell her as they stepped into the house. “I had to learn from a young age. Pap and—” They got far enough away that I couldn’t hear their voices anymore since I still stood outside with Archer. Neither of us seemed ready to go into the house.
“So,” he shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking back on his heels, “this is awkward.”
I shrugged. “It only is if you make it.” Growing serious, I narrowed my eyes at Archer. “Jude is a good person. His parents really fucked him up, so much so that there’s a lot he won’t talk about when it comes to them and I realize he’ll probably never tell me everything because it’s easier for him not to think about it, and all the family he has left is his grandpa. He needs you in his life. He needs someone he can depend on. Someone who’s family. Don’t hurt him,” I stated flatly. “If you do, I won’t hesitate to hunt you down and cut off your balls, and use them as ornaments to decorate my Christmas tree.”
Archer busted out laughing.
I narrowed my eyes and widened my stance, with my hands on my hips. “I’m serious,” I warned.
“You must love him a lot,” Archer chuckled, trying to hide his smile behind his hand.
“More than I ever knew possible.” I held my head high. Something about Archer made me feel intimidated, but I refused to show that I was affected by him.
He smiled slowly. “I guess we better get in there so I can get to know my baby brother.”
As we headed slowly towards the house, I asked him, “Was it weird for you, finding out you had a brother?”
Archer halted his steps and looked down at me. Jude was tall, but Archer was taller. I swear he had to be at least six foot five. He was a giant. He loomed above me, an intimidating force. “Surprisingly, no,” he shrugged. “I didn’t know my dad at all, but I always assumed he moved on and married someone else, had a few kids…a life without me,” he said softly. “I know things will probably be awkward for a while, but I’m glad to know I have a brother and I want to have a relationship with him. My mom never remarried, so I was an only child growing up.” His eyes flicked to the house and back to me. “At first, when my mom told me about Jude—before I talked to him on the phone—I was really mad, because he grew up with a mom and a dad. He quickly set me straight on that,” Archer sighed heavily. “It seems like I got the better deal. My mom’s awesome and she always made sure that I had everything I needed and provided me with a stable loving home. Jude didn’t have that.”
“At least he had his grandparents,” I inserted. I nodded towards the front door. “Come meet Jerry. He’s your grandpa too, and trust me you’ll never have met a more amazing person than him.”
Voices were coming from the sunroom so that’s where I led Archer. Julia was sitting in a chair while Jerry and Jude sat on the couch. When Archer and I approached Jerry came to stand. His limbs were shaky and I knew it had everything to do with nerves and not old age.
His eyes lit on Archer and my mouth fell open in surprise as he began to cry.
He stepped forward and enveloped Archer in a hug.
Archer glanced at me in surprise, but slowly returned the gesture, patting Jerry on his back.
“I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. I never knew,” Jerry cried into Archer’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, Jerry,” Archer said as they parted.
Jerry wiped the moisture from beneath his eyes. “Please, call me Pap.” He clapped Archer on the shoulder and led him over to the couch so he could sit between Jude and him.
I went to sit in the other free chair, but Jude’s hand snuck out, catching me around my waist and I was pulled onto his lap.
He kissed my neck, and whispered, “I need you.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder in comfort. I understood completely what he meant. I’d do whatever it took to get him through this day, and if he needed me close to him then that’s what I’d do. Tonight, I would need his support.
I rubbed the back of his neck soothingly, and kept quiet while he interacted with Archer and Julia. Things were a bit tense for a little while, but soon everyone got comfortable and we ate lunch in the kitchen.
Jude and Archer left so he could get a tour of the house and property.
Julia smiled at the guys as they walked off. She looked from Jerry to me. “I never thought this day would come.”
“Did you know about Jude?” I asked with surprise.
She nodded with a sad smile. “I did, but the way things ended between Andrew and I, I didn’t think it was the best thing for me to reach out.” She shrugged, pushing her pretty auburn hair out of her eyes. For being in her forties I thought she was gorgeous. Her skin was flawless and her eyes were bright. Despite the bad hand life had dealt her, she’d come out better than most. It was obvious in the way she carried herself and the smile that was nearly permanent on her face that she was happy.
“I can understand where you were coming from.” I assured her, not wanting her to think I judged her for keeping the brother’s apart.
I sincerely hoped that Archer and Jude would grow close. Based on how things had gone so far today, I had nothing to worry about. There was definitely an awkwardness between them, but with each passing minute it lessened.
“You two seem very much in love,” she commented.
Jerry chuckled, and his smile was pleased. I knew Jerry was looking forward to Jude and I progressing in our relationship—like marriage and babies, but he was going to have to wait a few years. At least for the baby part. I wanted Jude to myself for a while.
“Yes, we are,” I smiled. I knew there was a happy flush to my cheeks. “I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
And that was the truth. I’d suffered nearly two weeks without him, and I’d been as depressed then as when I lost my brother.
“It’s nice to see people young and in love. So carefree,” she propped her head in her hand. “I miss that.”
“You’re still young—” Before I could continue she snorted. “No, really,” I added. “You could still find someone and have your happily ever after.”
She smiled sweetly, her eyes soft. “Honey, I did get my happily ever after, it just wasn’t the one they write about in romance novels.” She reached across the table and patted my hand in a motherly gesture.
Looking across the table at her I couldn’t believe that we’d found Julia, and subsequently Jude’s brother because of it. If Jerry had never called me Julia, I would’ve never started wondering about the mysterious girl. Life worked in funny ways.
I made a pot of coffee while we waited for the guys to return. When they did it was time for Archer and Julia to leave. Both promised that we’d meet up again next week for dinner—either at the house or a restaurant.
Jude’s smile seemed permanently glued to his face. He hugged Archer and Julia goodbye, and I was surprised when both opened their arms to hug me.
I’d known Jude was worried that they might hate him, or just be horrible people, but everything had worked out perfectly. Jude had a brother who clearly wanted to get to know him, and given enough time I could see the two becoming close. Even Julia seemed genuinely interested in knowing Jude. I hoped she’d become a mother figure in his life since his was absent. I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to meet his parents. He barely talked about them and seemed to have nothing to do with them. But I knew all about having shitty parents and let’s face it if I completely blocked them out of my life it would be a whole lot easier t
han having to deal with them.
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I never took the easy route.
My mom was still in a home for the foreseeable future—maybe even forever—but with my dad coming home today, I’d decided to try to have a relationship with him. I hoped our dinner went well and we could move past everything. After all, reading Graham’s letter seemed to have a profound effect on him. I guess I only had to hope that it lasted and that his anger management had helped—even though he was out of the facility, he still had to attend meetings three times a week. I think more than anything, I just wanted to have a dad. I’d lost my brother, and my mom—because let’s face it, she was off her rocker—so my dad was the only family I had left.
I shook my head free of my thoughts and followed Jude and Jerry to the porch, where we watched Archer and Julia get into the SUV and drive away.
“Well,” Jerry smiled, patting Jude’s shoulder as he passed him on his way back into the house, “I don’t think that could’ve gone better.”
Jude nodded his head in agreement, watching until the SUV disappeared from sight.
While Jerry went inside, probably to watch TV, Jude and I stood outside for a while.
He seemed lost in his thoughts, so I let him think.
Eventually, he turned to me with a grin curving his lips. “Thank you.”
I jerked back in surprise. “Thank you? Why are you thanking me?”
He chuckled, reaching for my hand. “Because, you’re the one that said we should find Julia. Without you, I wouldn’t have known about Archer…that I had family.”
“Jude,” my throat constricted with emotion, “you never need to thank me for that.”
“I know,” he pulled me in front of him and I leaned my head against his chest, “but I wanted to.” He trailed his fingers over my stomach and up my t-shirt. Heat filled my body and I let out a small moan. It didn’t matter how many times he touched me I always wanted more.
Jude chuckled low against my ear. “Tate?”
“Yeah?” I panted as his hands skimmed higher, coming up to cup my breasts.
“It sounds like you want me.” He bit my earlobe.
Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) Page 34
