It was all over so quickly it took me a minute to work out what had happened. One minute I was feeling relieved to be home and trying to stop myself worrying about the possibility of twins, after all worrying about it wasn’t going to make any difference, and the next minute I was hoping around groaning in agony.
The driver of the other car got out and rushed over to me to see if I was alright. It was Rob back from his trip.
‘I’m so sorry, are you alright?’ He said looking as shaken as I felt.
‘I think so.’
‘I’m really sorry, I just didn’t see you. Here sit down a minute.’ And he eased me down to sit on the curb, and sat himself down next to me.
Then Marsha came out to see what was going on. ‘What happened?’ she said worriedly.
‘It was all my fault.’ Rob said. ‘Judy was crossing but I didn’t see her, I’ve been driving all day to get home and I was tired and I just . . then next thing I know I felt this bump and . . thank God it was only her foot.’
‘Only my . .!’
‘Sorry I didn’t mean that the way it sounded, I just meant thank goodness I didn’t hit you properly.’
‘No you just broke my foot, so that’s alright.’ I said acerbically, taking my shoe off to get a better look.
‘Sorry I’m really sorry.’
‘You better take her to the hospital.’ Marsha said.
‘No there’s no need for that.’ I said even though I was in agony. I really wasn’t up for a trip to the hospital, especially with Rob, broken foot or not.
‘Yes, you really should go. Help me Marsha, help me get her in the car.’
‘No really I’ll be fine.’ I said, but I was wasting my breath.
‘You need to know if anything’s broken.’ He said helping me get back on my one good foot and taking my bag and shoe from me. Then with one arm each around Rob and Marsha I hoped the few short hops to Rob’s car.
They settled me in the passenger seat and Rob dumped my bag and shoe on my lap, then ran round to the driver’s side and we drove off in the direction of the hospital. We didn’t speak for the fifteen minutes or so that it took to get there, and Rob parked right outside the entrance to A and E.
‘I’ll go and see if I can get a wheel chair or something, just stay right there, don’t move.’ He said getting out of the car.
‘Yeah.’ I muttered to myself. ‘Okay I’ll do that, like I have a choice.’
He threw me a guilty look, obviously I hadn’t muttered it quietly enough, and ran inside. Two minutes later he came back, not with a wheelchair, more cut backs I suppose, but he did have someone else with him, one of the hospital porters, and between them they helped me hop to the waiting area inside, Rob carrying my bag and shoe again for me.
They sat me down on the nearest empty seat and Rob disappeared again presumably to give them all my details. Well this was just great, here I was trying my best to stay out of his way and now I was stuck here for who knew how long, you know what A and E is like, all on my own with him. Maybe we could have a cosy little chat about how many times he’d ‘scored’ this week, or what a nice person Marsha was and how easy it was to lie to her, added to which my foot was really hurting now.
‘They said you shouldn’t have to wait too long.’ He said when he got back. He still had my bag and my shoe in his hand but this time he held on to them instead of giving them back to me.
I looked round the waiting area which was fairly packed with the not too seriously wounded like myself, some quietly bleeding and some just in pain.
‘Well I hope it won’t be too long. How are you feeling now?’ He asked looking concerned.
‘Like I’ve broken my foot.’
‘I’m so sorry, I just didn’t see you.’
‘Yeah you said.’ I said flippantly.
‘Do you think it is broken?’
‘I don’t know, it feels like it.’ Despite my foot hurting like hell, I was quite enjoying watching him squirm.
‘Should I let anyone know, your mum, or that bloke?’
‘You mean James?’
‘Yes him.’
‘No.’
‘What about your mother?’
‘Definitely not.’
The last thing I wanted at this moment was Mum turning up telling me how irresponsible I was and making me feel like this was all my fault somehow. Then knowing her she’d start organising the hospital staff, or trying to anyway, and complaining that I wasn’t being looked at quickly enough. And then there was the whole Rob thing. I mean she still thought Rob was the father, can you imagine that conversation if she turned up and he was here waiting with me. It just doesn’t bear thinking about. No definitely did not want to see Mum at this moment.
‘Do you think you’ll be alright for a minute, only I really should go and move the car?’
‘Yes I’m fine, go.’
‘Okay I’ll be as quick as I can.’ And he ran out the entrance, still holding my bag and my shoe, evidently he’d been holding them so long he’d forgotten, and gave me a last quick glance before disappearing.
It was nearly a quarter of an hour before he came back again, and I’d started to think he’d just run away altogether, but apparently it was visiting hours so the car park was full and he’d ended up having to park down some side street off the hospital grounds, and then had to run back. And judging by his heavy breathing as he flopped down on the seat next to me, it had been some distance. I noticed he no longer had my bag or my shoe with him, probably he’d left them in his car. At least I hoped that was it and he hadn’t just lost them somewhere in his panic.
‘Have they seen many people while I was gone?’ He said beginning to breathe normally again.
‘None that I noticed.’
‘None?’
‘Not one.’
‘Oh. Well how is it?’ He asked looking at my foot.
‘Throbbing, and I really need the loo.’
‘Right.’ He said worriedly looking round to see if he could see one.
Miraculously there was a loo, so we shuffle hopped to the door and Rob stood looking helpless as I groaned and winced my way through the door and into the toilet on my own. It certainly wasn’t easy doing the necessary on one leg, but I managed and winced my way back out to the waiting area where Rob was still waiting and looking very uncomfortable at having to loiter outside the women’s toilet. We shuffle hopped back to our seats in time to see one of the other injured finally being moved to one of the cubicle’s down the corridor where they could be attended to.
‘Looks like the queue might be moving a bit now.’ He said trying to be cheerfully positive.
‘Mm.’ I answered pessimistically negative.
We sat silently for a while watching the total lack of activity going on around us, and then out of the blue he said ‘you never said you were pregnant.’
‘Well I didn’t think I’d have to, I’d have thought it was pretty obvious.’
‘No I mean . . that night.’
‘No well we’d only just met, and I was still getting used to the idea myself.’
‘Was that why you left in such a hurry?’
‘Yes. Shelley thought I shouldn’t get too . . she thought I should leave before . . that I shouldn’t stay out too late under the circumstances.’
‘You could have told me you know.’ He said with an edge of bitterness.
Well doesn’t that beat all. I mean here he was ticking me off for not telling him I was pregnant, oh yeah like I was going to tell some gorgeous stranger who looked like he was falling for me ‘oh and by the way I’m knocked up’, when all the time he was married with kids of his own and giving me all that bullshit about his last relationship ending a couple of years ago, and coming on to me like I was ‘the one’. Yeah ‘the one’ stupid enough to fall for it all.
‘So is this James bloke the father?’
‘I don’t think that’s any of your business, do you?’ Like hell was I going to tell him anything, let him think wh
at he wanted, I should care if he got it all wrong.
‘No you’re right it’s not.’ He said looking a bit hurt, which was incongruous given that he was the lying arse and not me. ‘I just wondered why he wasn’t . . why you and he weren’t living together if . .’
I didn’t bother answering I just stared at him, hard.
‘Okay, it’s none of my business. When’s the baby due anyway?’
‘The beginning of March, now can we change the subject please.’
We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, while I fumed. Then regaining control of my composure a little I asked him ‘taken any good pictures lately, or was that another lie?’ Yeah I thought, let him be on the answering end for a change, see how he likes it.
‘Um . . one or two. I don’t get what you mean, another lie?’
What! How stupid does he think I am for God’s sake. ‘I meant . . was it all lies, the whole thing, or just selected bits?’ I said sarcastically.
‘Still not with you. What whole thing?’
‘The whole thing . . the story about leaving your job and . . oh forget it.’
‘I did leave my job.’
‘Look just forget it. I don’t really care anyway.’
‘Okay, but I really did leave my job, it wasn’t a story.’ He said looking bewildered.
‘Fine.’
‘No really I did.’
‘Yeah okay, you really did leave your job.’ Obviously he was just going to deny the whole thing as if we’d met and got chatting one night, end of. No attraction, no come on, no electric frisson when we danced, no kiss, no nothing. Well if that’s the way he wanted to play it fine, I could play that game. In fact that game suited me right down to the ground.
After another uncomfortable silence, well I was uncomfortable anyway, he just looked confused for some reason I really didn’t understand or care about, he said ‘Nick tells me he and Shelley are moving in together’.
‘Yes they are.’
‘That’s good. It’s funny to think I sort of introduced them, well I pushed him to go and talk to her.’
‘Yes funny. Ha ha.’ I said, the sarcasm oozing out of me.
The next person to be seen by a doctor got up to go to one of the cubicles and accidently knocked my broken foot as he passed, which made me groan loudly all over again.
‘Oh God I’m so sorry.’ Rob said back to being all remorseful again.
‘It’s okay,’ I said through gritted teeth. ‘I know it was an accident, I’m sure you didn’t do it on purpose.’
‘We probably should’ve packed it in ice.’
‘Probably.’
‘I’m really sorry Judy.’
‘Okay, you don’t have to keep saying it, I get it.’
‘I know but I feel really bad, I mean you’re not going to be able to drive for a bit even if it isn’t broken, and going up and down stairs is going to be . .’
I hadn’t even thought of that, how am I going to drive, how was I going to get to work?
‘I’ll drive you to work in the mornings, and pick you up again. It’s the least I can do.’ He must have read my mind, or did I say it out loud?
‘No it’s alright you don’t have to do that.’
Oh wonderful. Here I was doing my best to stay out of his way and he was planning that I’d have to see him twice a day to and from work. I definitely couldn’t handle that.
‘Well how are you going to manage? No I’ll drive you. I haven’t got anything lined up work-wise for the next couple of weeks so I’ll take you wherever you want to go, at least let me try and help will you, I feel bad enough without . .’
‘Well let’s just see what the doctor says first shall we?’
We both sat silent after that and eventually it was my turn to get seen, it felt like we’d waited for weeks rather than the hour or so it actually took, but it finally happened and an actual doctor finally looked at my foot. It wasn’t easy getting on the examining table, I had trouble getting on and off those things even with two feet never mind one, so Rob had to practically lift me on, which was vaguely erotic and I blushed, but I don’t think Rob noticed, or if he did he probably just thought I was in pain. I hope that’s what he thought anyway. I was mortified at my weak female body reacting this way but it was out of my control. Then I blushed all over again embarrassed at my blushing the first time, and I’m pretty sure he noticed then, but he didn’t say anything.
I was dreading the doctor telling me I’d have to have my foot x-rayed because that would mean waiting around for another few hours, or weeks, but after he’d prodded and pressed my foot in all directions he said he didn’t think anything was broken. The doctor called in a nurse who strapped up my foot so tight I’m sure it stopped all the circulation, and then she velcro’d on top of the bandage a bright blue protective shoe come sandal thing for me to hobble about on, telling me I was to keep my weight off it as much as possible.
Brilliant, absolutely bloody brilliant. I suppose it could have been worse, I mean it was only my foot, and it wasn’t actually broken, just severely squashed and a bit bruised. But for the next few weeks my foot would take to heal, I wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere much or drive, and they’d given me a crutch to use so I could keep my weight off it, so now I was the actual walking wounded. Like I didn’t feel gormless enough in my fat clothes, and becoming more pudding like every day, now I had a crutch and a huge useless bright blue foot.
Fan-bloody-tastic.
20
12th October – Week 19 + 3 Days
The next morning my foot was throbbing like mad and I’m sure had swollen to twice it’s normal size, it was difficult to tell under all the mass of bandages the nurse had strapped me up with, and I felt terrible. The shock probably had set in. It’s a funny thing when you have an accident, you’d think wouldn’t you that the shock would hit you the very second you have the accident, but it doesn’t work like that. It’s the adrenalin or something, some protective survival thing anyway keeps you functioning fairly normally through the pain, and the shock doesn’t hit until few hours later when everything’s calmed down again. Anyway between hobbling about on one foot and trying without much success to use the crutch to get about, those things are really difficult to get the hang of and kill your underarm, and feeling faintly sick, I phoned in work and said I wouldn’t be in.
When the doorbell went at about eight I knew it was Rob. I’d wanted to tell him beforehand that I wouldn’t be going to work, but that would have meant going downstairs and I was struggling just getting from the bedroom to the kitchen so stairs were out of the question, and all I could do was wait until he showed up. I shouted through the door that I wouldn’t be going to work today, and he shouted back asking was I alright, to which I said ‘yes, just not up to work that’s all’, and he said okay but if I needed anything to bang on the floor with my crutch.
I made a cup of tea for myself, which was a bit like being on some game show. What was that one years ago The Krypton Factor I think it was called, where you had to combine manual dexterity and skill with logic and mental ability, anyway I really wasn’t very good at it, and if it had been The Krypton Factor I’d have been knocked out in the first round or disqualified. The thing with using a crutch is, not only is it extremely uncomfortable but you’re only left with one hand you can use for everything else. So you’ve already only got one foot you can use and now you’ve only got one hand, and trying to get a tea bag out of the packet with one hand was difficult enough, but pouring boiling water into a cup while balancing on one foot was downright dangerous.
I managed it though, somehow, and carried my cuppa through to the living room, then had to peg leg it back to the kitchen again for the pain killers the hospital had given me. I was a bit dubious about taking them what with the baby and everything and all my baby bibles categorically stipulating how you shouldn’t ever take any drugs, medicinal or otherwise, when you’re pregnant. I’d resisted last night but the nurse had said these tablets w
ere safe to take, and this morning my foot was hurting so much I took one. Then spent the next hour feeling really guilty about it. And to make it worse they didn’t kill any of the pain anyway.
It had taken a good deal of aerobics to get myself undressed last night, trying to get my fat bandaged foot out of my trousers without pressing on the bruises was shall we say challenging, and I wasn’t up for the reverse procedure this morning so I didn’t bother even trying to get dressed and I couldn’t take a shower, God knows how I was going to manage that, but obviously I was going to have to sooner or later. I just slobbed about in my dressing gown feeling sorry for myself and thanking God or Sainsbury’s for micro-waved meals, and that at least I wouldn’t have to starve to death if I ever stopped feeling queasy for long enough to have something to eat.
At half ten the doorbell went, and I shouted through the door again to see who it was, expecting it to be Rob checking up on me, but it was Marsha so I let her in.
‘I had to see for myself that you were alright’ she said.
‘I’m fine’ I lied.
‘Well I don’t know about fine.’ She said looking me over appraisingly and not coming to any positive conclusions, reminding me of my mother. ‘And I thought you might need some help having a shower.’
‘Oh that would be great.’ I said ‘You sure you don’t mind?’
‘No course not, I don’t mind at all.’
It was Marsha who had the brainwave to tie a plastic carrier bag over my bandaged foot, and after that it was plain sailing. Wobbly plain sailing trying to wash myself while standing on one foot, but manageable. She sat on the loo waiting for me, right there in case I needed her, but thankfully I didn’t, although I did feel a lot better just knowing she was there, and a bit more confident that I’d be able to manage on my own next time.
‘So what have you done with the children?’ I asked while I soaped standing flamingo-like inside the shower and she sat waiting outside.
‘They’re at playgroup until twelve.’
‘And Rob?’
‘He’s too big for playgroup, I’m sure he’d enjoy it but it wouldn’t be fair on the other kids.’
39 Weeks Page 14
