“You look beautiful. Both of you do,” Connor said when they came downstairs and she offered him a faint smile while her insides were churning uneasily. She was dreading the moment that his family arrived and was expecting them to send her dirty looks and act like she was a traitor. Instead, when the doorbell rang they all greeted her like they had genuinely missed her. It had bought tears to her eyes.
Connors parents were first through the door and his father Jake was as formidable as she remembered him but he placed a kiss to her cheek and insisted that he was glad she was back. Connor’s mother Kaycee was always warm hearted and she pulled Lilly in to a hug as soon as she saw her.
“We missed you baby girl,” she said and Lilly fought the tears that were fighting to get out. Kaycee had always been lovely to her and she had forgotten how much she had considered her to be a mother to her.
Next through the door was Alexa and she seemed put out when Lilly ignored her but she simply smiled and greeted Connor instead, which wound Lilly up more. Finally Jasmine and her daughter arrived and Lilly couldn’t help but smile at Jasmine’s exasperation with the little girl.
“Honestly she’s done nothing but throw temper tantrums all afternoon,” Jasmine said in exhaustion as she let her three year old daughter loose and then gave a disgruntled sigh as she immediately ran to Melissa with a grin.
“Seems fine to me,” Connor said with a grin while Jasmine glared at him.
“Figures that as soon as there’s a witness she starts behaving,” she said while he chuckled.
Connor made sure that everyone had drinks and Lilly thought that while he was busy they would all make sure that they knew she wasn’t wanted here but instead they were all very welcoming. Even Alexa was trying to talk to her like the old friends they used to be but Lilly wanted nothing to do with the other woman.
The conversation was kept light and didn’t touch on any dangerous topics until they all sat down to dinner. Suddenly it seemed like everyone wanted to discuss subjects that Lilly didn’t even want to think about.
“I was thinking we could do a renewal,” Kaycee announced and they all looked at her in confusion.
“A renewal of what?” Connor asked and she grinned at him.
“A renewal of your vows of course. A new start seems like a good idea,” she said and Lilly stiffened at that. Surely Connor didn’t want them going through a ceremony that would be a sham? They’d already had the perfect wedding and even through the bad memories she had remembered that day as perfect. If they had a renewal it would ruin even the good memories she had.
“I don’t think we’re anywhere near ready for that. We’re just taking things slow,” Connor said and his mother snorted.
“Taking things slow? You’ve been married for over five years,” she said and he sighed while Lilly fought not to show any of her thoughts on her face.
“And we’re getting to know each other again. We don’t want a renewal,” he insisted and thankfully Kaycee changed the subject. Lilly was surprised that Connor had stood up for her though because she had thought that a renewal would be just another way to trap her further in to this marriage.
The rest of the meal was more relaxed and nobody bought up any more awkward subjects. Lilly found herself beginning to relax and it was almost like old times. She had always loved the family meals because she had never had that sort of relationship with her own family.
After the meal they had coffee and sat in the lounge chatting between them. Melissa and Becca were up in Melissa’s room playing with the toys and both Jasmine and Lilly had stood in the doorway watching for a few moments to make sure that they were behaving.
“If only she was like this all the time,” Jasmine said with a smile and Lilly laughed.
“I think they’re all a bit of a handful at that age,” Lilly said and it was Jasmine’s turn to laugh.
“She’s definitely that. I just don’t know where she gets all her energy from,” Jasmine said.
Lilly smiled but inside she was hurting. She knew that Jasmine didn’t mean anything by it but all it reminded her of was the fact that she had lost her baby. She would have given anything to be running round after her child and that exhausted that she would just fall in to bed at the end of the night. This was why she hadn’t wanted to live in this house again. It bought back too many memories. She had spent the last five years constantly working and trying to forget the pain and emptiness inside her but just a few days in this house and it was all coming back.
She watched the children playing for a few minutes before leaving Jasmine to it and heading back to the lounge area where she could hear Connor and his dad having a heated debate about the hotel chain that they owned. She didn’t make it back to the lounge area though as she nearly ran in to Alexa.
“Oh hi,” Alexa said and Lilly simply looked at her until she shifted uncomfortably.
“Excuse me,” Lilly said firmly as she tried to step past her but Alexa stopped her with a hand to her arm.
“I didn’t really get a chance to say how great it is to see you back here,” Alexa said and Lilly stared at her in disbelief. Did she really think that acting like she was glad to see her made up for everything?
“I’m sure you’d rather I’d stayed away,” Lilly said coldly and Alexa looked confused by that though Lilly knew it was just an act.
“We all missed you, especially Connor. I’m just glad that you two finally worked things out,” Alexa said in that sweet soft voice of hers. It just annoyed Lilly. She had the nerve to sleep with her husband and then act like the innocent party?
“I’m sure you are,” Lilly said dryly and Alexa looked even more confused.
“Lilly, did I upset you in some way?” she asked and Lilly shrugged.
“I’m just readjusting to everything,” she said and Alexa gave a small nod.
“Of course, I’m sorry. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone and that we’re all here for you,” Alexa said and Lilly gave her a forced smile before finally escaping her presence and returning to the lounge.
All she had wanted to do when confronted by Alexa was lash out and make her feel as much pain as she had. But she hadn’t wanted to show everyone how pathetic and weak she was. She had promised Connor that they would start over and she had meant it. From now on every time she was forced to spend any time with Alexa she would be civil and nothing more. She didn’t want Connor to realise that she knew about his affair and thinking that by coming back she somehow condoned it.
The rest of the night was more relaxed and Lilly enjoyed talking with his parents though she barely spoke to Alexa. She wasn’t impressed when Alexa took Connor out of the room to talk to him and they were gone for at least ten minutes. Lilly couldn’t help but wonder what they were really doing.
Finally they all decided it was time to leave when Jasmine announced that she needed to get Becca home to bed. Lilly hadn’t wanted to see his family so soon after she had got back with Connor but now she was glad she had. They hadn’t seemed to hold any grudges against her for leaving him and she was surprised for nobody knew the real reason that she had left. It had been an enjoyable night though and she was glad that Connor had talked her in to it.
When they had left everything seemed ten times as quiet especially because Melissa was so tired that it barely took moments to put her to bed before she was fast asleep. In the silence Lilly suddenly felt awkward around Connor and didn’t know how to react towards him. Deep inside she still wanted to hurl all of her anger at him and make him hurt as much as he hurt her. Yet she also wanted to go back to the way things were before.
It was obvious that Connor had meant what he said when he’d forced her back in to their marriage and she had two choices. She could either try to ignore him the entire time and make his life miserable which was what she really wanted to do. But then what exactly would it achieve? She would only make herself miserable too. The other choice was that she could simply let it all go and try and make a go of their ma
rriage. She could try to rebuild what they once had.
“I don’t think that went too badly,” Connor said once he’d locked up and she offered a faint smile.
“Thank you for telling your mother we didn’t want a renewal,” she said.
“I think that we need to get to know each other again before we decide about anything,” he said and she sighed.
“Connor, what is it that you want from this? From us?” she asked and he paused as he observed her quietly.
“I just want to get to know you again and see if we could still make something of our marriage. I don’t know what went wrong but I’m sure that if we gave ourselves a chance then we might be able to go back to how we were,” he said and Lilly frowned.
“And what if we can’t go back to how we were before?” she asked.
“We’re taking things slow. We won’t rush in to anything,” he said and she acknowledged that with a smile.
When he suggested that they go to bed Lilly linked her hand with his and let him lead her to bed. She was willing to give him a chance though she was still wary.
It didn’t take long to get changed and when she slid in to bed beside Connor she half expected him to take advantage of her and take things further than she was comfortable with. Instead he turned off the light, gathered her close and placed a kiss against her hair before settling down to sleep.
“I want to get back to the way things were before,” she said softly in to the darkness and felt Connor tense beside her.
“We’ll get there,” he said equally softly and she felt her eyes well up with tears that she refused to let fall. She wanted to go back to being happy with him and to being able to count on him. She wanted his children and to share her life with him. But she didn’t want to find herself being betrayed again.
“What if we don’t?” she asked and he placed another tender kiss against her hair as he stroked his thumb soothingly over her flat stomach.
“Don’t think like that sweetheart. We just have to give this a chance,” he said and she smiled in the darkness as she snuggled closer.
She hated everything that they had gone through before and she hated him for forcing her to come back here. But here in his arms she felt safe and protected. She wanted things to work out between them and she wanted to know that he was all hers. She wouldn’t accept him betraying her again.
CHAPTER SIX
The next morning Lilly awoke feeling awkward and unsure. Last night she had made the decision to make a go of her marriage but now, in the cold clear light of day she was already having second thoughts. What if she went back to how things were and he hurt her again? She wasn’t sure that she could survive a second time.
Taking a deep breath she turned her head and released it on a sigh as she realised that Connor wasn’t there. She was thankful that he had given her some breathing space. She hadn’t wanted to suffer through an awkward morning after where they went over everything they’d said or done the night before to analyse how they were both feeling.
Lilly stayed there for a few moments as she thought about the decision she had made and realised that she wanted that second chance. She hadn’t made the decision lightly and she wanted to see if they could create something between them again. With that decision made she slid from the bed and headed to the shower as she prepared herself to face the day.
Lilly felt the need for armour to protect herself against the emotional upheaval that she was sure the day would bring so she dressed in jeans and a turtleneck sweater that ensured she was covered head to toe. She added more makeup than usual and only when she was completely done did she feel prepared to face Connor.
When she entered the dining room he looked up from his paper and gave her a quick glance but didn’t comment on the obvious changes to her appearance. Instead he simply offered a smile and put the paper to one side to focus on her completely. Lilly had assumed that she would feel awkward and unsure around him since their conversation the night before. Instead she found that things felt almost like nothing had ever changed between them. She could still remember all the days that they had actually made it down to the dining room for breakfast and the small looks and touches that they had shared throughout. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine that this was just another day in their too perfect marriage, before it had all fallen down around her. Instead it was the first day of a new start for them and she didn’t intend to take it lightly.
“Coffee?” he asked and she smiled gratefully at him as she sank in to the chair opposite him.
“Where’s Melissa?” Lilly asked. She had checked on her sister when she woke up but her room had been empty.
“Carmen took her to the park,” Connor said and Lilly wasn’t sure how to feel about that. She was glad that Melissa was taken care of and that it didn’t mean another exhausting day for her but she also wasn’t pleased that he had employed a nanny to take care of her. She wondered if he would have done the same thing with their own daughter. She had thought that he would be a hands on parent but maybe she had been mistaken.
It was strange how comfortable she suddenly felt around Connor. It was almost like old times and for once that feeling didn’t bring up painful memories. Lilly actually felt like they were making a fresh start and instead of being resentful over what had transpired in the past she simply felt hopeful for the future. They obviously still had a lot to work out and it would be a long time before things were completely right between them. For the first time in a long time though she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and it gave her hope that she could finally set the past behind her. It was only now that she realised how much of the past she had been holding on to and she knew that it was time to let it go and move on with her life.
“Do you have to work today?” she asked and Connor observed her over the rim of his own cup before he replaced it on the table and offered a smile.
“That wouldn’t exactly work with my plans though would it?” he said and Lilly frowned at that.
“What exactly are your plans?” she questioned curiously and he gave that secretive smile again.
“I am trying to mend our marriage and being at work during this delicate stage of our relationship will only hinder that,” he told her. This statement only made her more certain that she wanted to give what they had the chance to succeed or fail on its own.
“How exactly do you propose that we mend a marriage that could be beyond repair?” she asked as she took a sip of her coffee and savoured the aromatic flavour.
“I refuse to believe that our marriage is beyond saving. I think that the best way to start is for us to be completely honest with each other and work through the things that broke us apart in the first place,” he told her and Lilly looked at him sceptically. She wasn’t sure that talking about the things that had caused her to leave in the first place would help them as all it would do was bring up past pain and remind her of the betrayal that she had felt. She also didn’t want to admit that she knew all about his affair with Alexa and that she had hated him for the way he had played her like a fool.
“Why do we have to talk about it? The past is best left where it is,” she told him firmly but he shook his dark head in instant denial.
“We have to talk about it because I still don’t understand the reason that it all fell apart. What did I do that sent you running from me?” Connor asked and he managed to sound hurt, which was ridiculous when she thought about all the things he had done to her.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she insisted but his steely gaze stayed firmly on her as his lips thinned in anger.
“Tough!” he snapped and she sat back in her chair as she glared at him.
“I thought you said that you wanted to save our marriage,” she reminded him and he looked confused by that statement until she leaned forward again and gave a soft sigh.
“I do want to save our marriage,” he insisted.
“Then stop pushing for answers that will only drive a w
edge further between us,” she warned him and it was his turn to sigh as he ran a hand roughly through his hair.
“If we don’t discuss the issues that drove us apart then we can never move forward,” he insisted.
“If you force this then it will be over before we’ve even begun. What do you want most Connor? You can either have your answers or we can have a second chance but we can’t have both,” Lilly told him and he took a deep steadying breath.
There was never any doubt in Connor’s mind that he would do anything to keep Lilly by his side but he also couldn’t let the secrets of the past stay there. Something had driven his wife from him and it obviously hadn’t been just her grief over their lost child. Someone or something had taken her from him and he was going to find out what. He was a billionaire with resources beyond Lilly’s wildest dreams and he would get to the bottom of it. He would let it go for now but he would find out what the hell had happened to drive her away from him. For now though, he had to convince her that they had something worth saving. Her faith in him was obviously shaken and he refused to allow her to go on thinking that what they had was over. He loved her as much today as he ever had and he knew that he could never go back to how things had been. He needed her more than he needed his next breath. All he had to do was convince her of that.
“Fine. I’ll let it go, for now. But be warned Lilly that secrets don’t stay buried for long and there could be the chance that by keeping it you are already ruining any future chance we might have,” he warned. Lilly took a deep steadying breath and then lifted her chin with determination.
“The past is in the past. We can never go back to how we were but we can try to make something new,” she told him and he acknowledged that with a nod.
Connor had no intention of forgetting that something had driven Lilly from him arms and he would never let it drop. He might tell Lilly that he wouldn’t pressure her for answers any more but he would dig for information.
Their Marriage Reunited Page 7
