by A. K. Evans
Of course, Brad wanted me to care about his opinion. He called my phone an ungodly amount of times begging me to talk with him. I never answered. I also never returned a single voicemail. He showed up at the house twice, but I never let him in. Eventually, he gave up. We’d been together for so long; he knew how I was. When I made up my mind, I typically didn’t change it.
And I could hold a grudge forever.
If someone crossed me like that, they’d find themselves struggling to get back in my good graces. Most times, they give up before that can even come close to happening. It certainly isn’t my best quality, but I’m also not ashamed to admit that it’s just the way I am.
It’s all about self-preservation at that point.
I’m sure it finally settled in his mind that we were over and I wasn’t going to give him the time of day. It also irritated me that he even wanted to come and talk with me. I didn’t know who he thought he was going to kid, but I’d seen Melanie. She was everything I wasn’t. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a perfect body.
While the thought of her name alone was like acid in my veins, I didn’t hold my grudge against her. I’d seen her face that day; Brad was lying to her as well. Even still, on some level, I hated her.
The weekend in early August that I was supposed to have gotten married, I hopped on a plane and flew to Windsor, Wyoming.
Gwen came with me.
That weekend I searched and found exactly what I was looking for. I completed the paperwork, put down a deposit, and flew back to the place I’d lived my whole life. Two weeks later, I left my hometown in northeastern Pennsylvania behind to move to a place where the landscape reminded me of the best things I loved about home but didn’t hold any of the hurt in it.
It was the easiest decision I’d made in my life.
It was also the best one.
Because a month after I’d moved to Windsor, I got Callie. And a month after that, I officially opened my own flower shop, Petals.
Business was slow through the winter considering I was new in town and it wasn’t exactly prime time for buying flowers. Lucky for me, I’d done well for myself before I left Pennsylvania and had enough saved to carry me through for a solid year and a half without needing to touch any of my investments. And I could do that without making any changes to my lifestyle. If I tightened things up a bit, I could probably go a solid two years and still be alright.
So, I had time on my side and could let my business take the time it needed to grow. Just like the flowers I sold, with proper care and attention, I believed Petals would flourish.
Given the Valentine’s Day holiday, February had been my best month since I’d opened, and it was the first time I felt truly accomplished in my new venture.
Now, it was April first and I was excited about the prospect of spring and the big spring holidays. Easter and Mother’s Day were notoriously busy holidays for floral shops, which meant I was hoping to see some of that business come my way.
I was also eager for the weather to start warming up a bit so that I could get out and explore a little. I hadn’t been on a hike since before I moved; I was craving getting a piece of nature again. Unfortunately, after I arrived in Windsor back at the end of August, there wasn’t much time for me to really get out since I was putting all of my time and effort into getting myself settled in my shop and my loft. By the time I had sorted all of that, it was well into the thick of winter and I knew I’d need to wait to get out for a good hike.
I was pulled from my thoughts when the tea kettle began whistling. I slid it off the burner and poured the water into my mug. After letting the tea steep for a few minutes, I wrapped my hands around the warm mug and brought it to my lips. Carefully, I took a sip and closed my eyes.
Not even a minute later, I heard my phone ringing in my bedroom. I set down my mug, hopped off the counter, and walked toward the sound of my ringtone.
Looking down at the display, I smiled before I held it up to my ear and greeted, “Hey, Gwen. How’s it going?”
“Please tell me I didn’t do this to myself on April Fool’s Day,” she pleaded.
“Well, I guess that depends on what you want me to tell you that you didn’t do today,” I returned as I walked back toward the kitchen to reclaim my seat on the countertop.
She sighed into the phone. “I am heading to the lab now to get bloodwork done so the fertility specialist can tell me if and when I’m ovulating.”
“Okay. So why is this bad news?”
“It’s not necessarily bad news,” she started. “I’m just frustrated with this. We’ve been trying for so long and I’ve been through so many tests already. I just want a baby.”
I hated this for her.
“You’ll have a baby, Gwen. When the time is right, it’ll happen.”
“All the testing we’ve gone through is ridiculous,” she went on. “Actually, my testing has been ridiculous. I’ve had blood drawn, wands inserted, dye inserted, more blood drawn, more wands inserted, and I’m not getting anywhere. All Jason has to do is go stand in a room and fill up a cup!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, I’m sure he’s thrilled with that.”
“You have no idea, Zara. He actually said it’s kind of gross when he thinks about it. The room has a couch he can sit and relax on, but he refuses to do that knowing precisely what that room is used for. He just stands in the middle of the room, careful not to touch anything but himself, takes care of business, and walks out like two minutes later.”
“Two minutes?”
“Don’t remind me. I don’t even understand how he can do that.”
I had to admit that it sounded like her job in this whole process had been far more grueling. “So, you get poked and prodded for hours while he has an orgasm that he manages to accomplish in minutes?” I confirmed.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying!” There was silence a moment before she continued, “I have to leave in five minutes to head to the appointment, but I wanted to call you before I left. How’s Queen Callie?”
“She woke up demanding breakfast, so that should tell you she’s living up to her title,” I shared.
“And you? How are you?”
I rolled my eyes. Gwen had been doing this for weeks now. She’d call and talk about something completely unrelated before she’d work her way around to asking me about what was happening in my life. It would seem innocent until she made it known that she wasn’t just asking about my life, but specifically wanting to know about my love life. My answer hadn’t changed from the first time she asked, but that didn’t mean she quit asking. I played the game with her, pretending not to know what she was referring to when she steered the conversation in this direction.
“Perfect,” I replied. “Spring is here, which means flower season is here. I’m hoping it’ll keep me busy.”
“What about a hot guy? One of those could keep you busy too, you know,” she reasoned.
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, I’d be busy worried about whether I was enough to make him not want to cheat on me.”
Gwen’s voice changed and got soft when she returned, “They’re not all like him, Zara. I promise there’s a guy out there that will treat you right, but if you don’t ever try to find one, it won’t happen.”
I didn’t want to disappoint her, but I had to be honest. “I’m content with things the way they are right now. I’m focusing on my new business. It makes me happy, and I’m no longer stressed about work. I don’t need anything else in my life at the moment.”
She sighed.
“Okay, I get it. But if a hot guy happens to walk through your door this spring, you should definitely not waste the opportunity.”
“If a hot guy walks through the door this spring, I’m guessing there’s a good chance he’ll be here buying flowers for his equally as hot girl.”
Gwen laughed and said, “You always have an answer for everything.”
“I’m realistic.”
My friend didn’t r
espond. I knew it hurt her knowing I was out here and I didn’t have anyone close to me. I’d met some of my neighbors who were all nice, but I’d mostly kept to myself. Now that the weather would be warming up, I made a promise to myself that I’d make the effort to get out more. Of course, getting out more didn’t necessarily mean that I’d be looking to make any new friends. I had a whole new town to explore and I would easily have enough to keep my mind occupied for the foreseeable future.
But it surprised me that I’d kept myself locked away all winter. I loved the winter; it was my favorite season. There was something oddly refreshing to me about the snow and the cold weather; yet, when the snow started falling in my new hometown, I never let myself out. It didn’t take a genius to know that I was still licking my wounds.
“I’m worried about you, babe,” she shared softly.
I couldn’t do this.
“Don’t be,” I insisted, trying to make myself sound as cheerful as possible. “I promise I’m good. But I’ve got to get going now so I can get some breakfast and shower before I head to work.”
“You’re just walking downstairs,” she pointed out.
“I know, but I still need to do it on time.”
“Alright, Zara. I’ll let you go. I need to get to my appointment anyway,” she reasoned.
Before I disconnected the call, I urged, “Good luck today. Make sure you let me know what happens.”
After Gwen promised to keep me informed, I set the phone down on the counter beside me. I brought my mug up to my lips and took a sip. As I did that, I thanked my lucky stars I had Gwen. She’d proven to be a genuine friend, something I found extremely difficult to come by, and I had a feeling I’d never regret forging a friendship with her.
Of course, as I sat there and thought about how much she meant to me, I couldn’t help but feel angry on her behalf. Gwen was one of the most loyal, trustworthy women I’d ever met. I hated that she was having such a difficult time trying to get pregnant, especially when I knew the kind of parents she and Jason would be. Even though they’d already traveled a long road, I knew it would be worth it in the end.
No longer distracted on the phone, I did my best to rid myself of the negative thoughts and decided to make breakfast. I hopped down off the counter and got busy.
Following breakfast, I cleaned up the kitchen, washed out Callie’s now-empty breakfast bowl, and made my way back to the bedroom. Once I made my bed, I hopped in the shower. While there, my mind drifted back to the conversation I’d had with Gwen that morning. I couldn’t help but think about where my life had taken me.
There was no doubt in my mind that being in Wyoming was the best place for me. Not long after the move, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. With each day that passed, I settled more and more into my routine and discovered that I enjoyed having that predictability. While there were a few things I missed about home, it was safe to say I had no regrets about moving. It was good to be away from everything that had put such stress and doubt in my life.
And while I was nowhere near perfect, I found that with each day that passed in my new place, I had managed to remove the biggest stresses from my life. Thankfully, and especially now that I’d sorted my professional life out, I was getting into a mindset where I could start seeing to some areas of concern in my personal life, a place where there was a lot of work left to be done.
It was quarter to ten by the time I finished in the shower, gotten ready, and spent some time cuddling with my girl on the couch.
“I’ve got to get to work now, Callie,” I informed her. “There are floral arrangements to be made.”
She meowed in response, which was typical.
Setting my feet on the ground, Callie got the hint and moved from my lap.
I gave her one last rub down before I assured her, “I’ll be back for lunch this afternoon.”
Callie didn’t reply. She just walked away and found a comfortable spot to curl up for her morning nap.
With that, I left my loft and made my way downstairs to my flower shop.
When Gwen and I made the trip out to Windsor back in August, we found this space and I thought it was perfect for me. After having spent so much time in my car and on the road for my last job, I loved that I no longer needed to drive to work every day. All that separated my home from my job now was a flight of stairs, and I couldn’t have been happier about that.
I pushed open the door that led from the stairwell into my store. Once I’d turned on all the lights, I unlocked the front door.
Then, with the sights and smells of absolute, breathtaking beauty surrounding me, I got to work. I checked the overnight orders that had come in online. I’d received a few, but more than half were for the upcoming Easter holiday. I made some notes, knowing that Mondays were my day to restock.
After, I’d fulfilled any orders that were set for pick up within the next twenty-four hours. I managed to have a few walk-in clients come through before lunchtime. Following lunch, I spent my afternoon trying to predict which flowers would be the bigger sellers over the upcoming holidays. I had another two clients stop in that afternoon, which always made me feel great. Knowing that Petals wasn’t the only flower shop in town, but it was the one they chose filled me with such pride.
By five o’clock that evening, seven hours after I’d opened the front door for business that day, I walked back to that same door and locked it. I closed down my shop and went upstairs to my loft.
Callie greeted me when I walked in and stuck by my side as I settled into my evening routine.
As I did that, I was riding the high of having been surrounded by nothing but pretty scents and sights all day long.
“I checked my watch during sex.”
“What?” I asked, slightly horrified.
Gwen laughed in my ear and explained, “I was ovulating and the doctor told me when the best time to have sex would be. I was so worried that I’d miss the window.”
“Gosh, Gwen, you’re so romantic. Jason must love it.”
“Let’s just say he was less than thrilled with me,” she admitted. “I got the call from the doctor while Jason was out working on some of the farm equipment with his father. When I hung up with her, I immediately called him and explained he needed to get back to our house right away. He wanted me to wait, but we didn’t have that kind of time, so I lost it a little. Thankfully, he decided it was safer to get back home.”
It was the morning after Gwen had gotten her blood drawn and she was calling me on her break at school. She was filling me in on her escapades.
“So how did you end up checking your watch? How was that even enjoyable for you?” I wondered.
She sighed. “I’m so focused on the task at hand right now, Zara, I’m not even in it for the pleasure anymore. He came home and I was ready to go, naked on the bed. He stripped down and got to work, but it was like he suddenly started thinking too much about it. Jason was on top of me and it was taking him forever to get it done, I literally checked my watch and told him he needed to hurry up. Let’s just say that when he finally finished, he told me that he was beginning to feel like a piece of meat.”
Part of me wanted to laugh. I could have just imagined Gwen’s face while she grew more and more annoyed at her husband for not getting the deed done efficiently. Of course, the other part of me was worried that she had made sex a means to an end now, making it something no longer enjoyable for her, or him for that matter.
“Oh, Gwen. Is he really upset about it?”
“He gave me a hard time last night, but he’s fine now. Honestly, he’s being a good sport about it all, especially considering the heartbreaking revelations I keep having thrown in my face.”
“What?”
Gwen didn’t answer immediately. It was quiet for so long, I began wondering if we’d been disconnected, so I called, “Gwen?”
“Yeah, I’m here. I just…well, word has gotten around among the staff in the district. While it’s not unheard of, i
t came as a shock to me last week when I learned that not one, but two students are pregnant. One is a freshman, the other in seventh grade. Seventh grade, Zara!”
“Are you serious?”
“I wish I were joking,” she muttered.
I was dumbfounded. A seventh grader and a freshman were pregnant and a grown woman with a good job, a loving husband, and so much to offer a child was struggling to have one.
“How does a seventh grader even end up pregnant? I didn’t even get my period for the first time until the summer after seventh grade.”
She let out a sarcastic laugh. “It’s happening earlier and earlier these days with a lot of girls,” she shared. “We had a third grader start her period two months ago. She was so terrified, it was unbelievable.”
“Third graders are becoming women?”
“Unreal, isn’t it?” she retorted.
I was in such shock, I couldn’t respond. When I was in third grade, I wasn’t even sure I knew that girls got their periods. Doing my best to shake it off, I wondered, “So, now what? How long do you need to wait?”
“Probably two or three weeks,” she replied. “Unless, of course with my luck, I get my period before then.”
“Wow. I can’t even imagine what you’re going to be like the next few weeks. I’ll be pulling for you both.”
“Thanks.” A moment of silence stretched between us before she spoke again, “What about you? Anything new happen since I last talked to you roughly twenty-four hours ago?”
I shook my head and answered, “No. Nothing new, but keep asking. You never know when I might want to spice things up.”
She let out a small, excited squeal. “Oh, I am dying for some news from you. Anything. I’ll take anything you’ve got that doesn’t involve you only being either at your shop or at home with Callie. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, obviously, but that can’t be all you have in your life. You said the weather is warming up out there, so while you may love the cold, a lot of people don’t. You’ve got to make a change now if you’re going to meet people because I’m guessing they aren’t going to be cooped up inside anymore. Get out and explore the sights. I want to know what Windsor’s got to offer.”
