by Leanne Davis
Tim went to bed soon after dinner. It was a magnificent affair prepared by Nancy. She was the epitome of motherhood, even a perfect cook. Kelly had skipped dinner and was sleeping. Luke chatted with them all amicably, sneaking sly looks at Cassie with a smile on his face. The obvious ease and comfort John and Luke shared with each other and their parents was something she couldn’t imagine having.
Cassie felt weird as hell. She was the outsider with no real defined role in the scenario here, except being that girl most parents wouldn’t want dating their son.
John got up after dinner and interrupted her thoughts. He leaned down and kissed his mother on the cheek as he declared he was tired and ready to sleep for twenty hours. Liam talked for a few moments, before John finally turned to her with one hand, reaching out to her as he asked, “Coming Cassie?”
A blush bloomed over her entire body. She had no idea how to react. No one had ever casually asked her to go to bed in front of their parents. John had never before included Cassie in whatever he was doing as if it was a foregone conclusion.
It was weird and scary and wonderful. But what would his family think?
“Cassie?”
“John can’t you see you embarrassed her?” Nancy said, making Cassie decide falling through the floor was her preferred course of action. “It’s okay honey, we know you’re involved, John told us. Don’t worry about it.”
Don’t worry about it? Was she supposed to follow John up to his bedroom in front of his parents? John regarded her before a smile broke out on his face.
She got up stiffly and walked to the staircase without a glance around the amused room. John was behind her, his long legs taking the stairs two at a time. Once they were in his room, he shut the door, then came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her back against him, casually touching her. She wasn’t used to it.
“You’re surprisingly sweet,” he said, his mouth muffled by her neck as he kissed it.
“What will your parents think of me?”
“That we’re two adults sleeping together.”
“But my God just right there in front of them?”
“I’m twenty-eight years old, I think they know I’m not a virgin, in fact I’m sure they’re glad I’m not. Besides it’s my house.”
“Your mother is going to think—”
“You’re a normal woman going to bed with her boyfriend.”
“When did you tell them?”
“When you were up with Kelly.”
“She can’t be happy about us.”
John shrugged. “She doesn’t have a problem with you. She seems to think I’ve met my match in you.”
“Really?” No way. Cassie didn’t buy it.
“Really.” He started backing her up to his bed. “What do you say we get started with what you’re so worried they’ll all figure out we’re doing?”
She suddenly broke off and stepped away from him. “I can’t.”
“Why’s that?”
“Tim. I told you he makes things different. I can’t just stay with you.”
John paused. “There are no more bedrooms, and I want you here with me.”
“I don’t want him to think—”
John cupped his hand around her neck and pulled her forward, resting his forehead against hers. “No one thinks you’re that girl anymore. Least of all your six-year-old son. You’ve got to stop thinking that. I’m not dating the old Cassie. And furthermore there’s no reason we can’t explain to Tim in six-year-old terms that we’re together. There’s no reason he has to have any indication about what goes on with us. Stay with me.”
She fell against him. Too exhausted to think clearly or argue with him. She quickly got ready for bed. She was tucked in tightly when John joined her. He brought her closer to him.
She stilled his hand. “Please not tonight. I’m confused. I’m scared. I’m just…really tired.”
He released her. “How about you be tired right next to me?”
She smiled. “I could do that.”
****
The next morning Cassie awakened first, feeling refreshed and renewed after a long uninterrupted night of sleep. She slipped out of bed careful to not wake John. She grabbed her robe as she exited the room. She stopped at Tim and Kelly’s rooms to check that they were both still sound asleep. And there was the usual relief that both were still safe in the house. The police presence did little to reassure the voice in her head. At any point it could all go wrong. Hadn’t it already?
Cassie rounded the stairs, glad to have a few moments to think clear headed about what had happened in the last week. Like a fast moving roller coaster, parts had terrified her, parts had thrilled her, but it had gone so fast she almost didn’t know just what had happened. She felt like she had whiplash.
Cassie stopped short when she came to the kitchen. Nancy was in the process of turning away from the counter holding a steaming cup of coffee. Cassie wanted to back up and stealthily head back upstairs, but Nancy had already spotted her. There was no helping it; she was alone with John’s mother.
“Oh good morning Cassie. Would you like some coffee? Or are you a tea drinker?”
“Oh uh, coffee’s great,” Cassie answered. Did she call John’s mother Mrs. Tyler or Nancy? Cassie wasn’t sixteen so it seemed ridiculous to call her Mrs. Tyler. But then again, how appropriate was it for her to just call her Nancy? What was protocol? She was so out of her league.
Nancy got a mug out of the cupboard and poured the freshly brewed coffee that had the room smelling like a little piece of morning heaven. Nancy handed the coffee to Cassie then slipped into one of the chairs. Cassie tried to think of some way to escape politely, but she couldn’t find any reasonable excuse. So she too slid into a chair.
Nancy took a few sips of coffee as she regarded Cassie. Cassie sat there groping for something to say.
“Sleep well?” Nancy asked. Cassie started. Did Nancy mean anything by it? What should she answer?
“Yes. I was exhausted. I haven’t slept much since Kelly got hurt.”
“I can imagine. You poor dears.” Nancy sounded sincere.
Cassie fell silent, still at a loss where to take the conversation next. Nancy stared for a long while at Cassie, then asked, “Cassie dear, is it my imagination or are you afraid of me?”
“Uh…well, I just I’m not very good at this.”
“What’s that?”
“At family, and well, relationships in general.”
Nancy let out a laugh. “Well no one’s usually afraid of me.” Nancy grinned then added, “Really Cassie, there’s no reason you should be afraid of me.”
Cassie pretended taking a drink of coffee required all of her concentration. Then she spoke honestly, knowing there was no escaping Nancy if this thing with John was to last longer than a day. “I’m sure this must all seem so odd to you, how fast John ended up with me, when Sarah was just at the hospital, and now here I am. I can’t imagine what you must think of me. I’m really sorry for putting your family into this situation.”
Nancy was silent. Was she mistaken in saying anything? Had she just made it all worse?
“I don’t think any of my boys’ girlfriends ever really cared what I thought. What a nice change.”
“It is?”
“Sure. You have a son. Someday you’ll see how hard it is to get them to say more than hello to you. As for being sorry, that’s nice, but I don’t think my boys would rally around you if you were at fault. And that boy of yours, why he’s just a delight. Why would I have a problem with that? Besides, Tim being such a well-rounded little boy says a lot about you as his mother.”
“It does?” Cassie asked, sounding as clueless as she was. She’d never had a motherly influence. Everything Cassie did for Tim was by instinct or from child development books. Cassie had no example whatsoever from which to draw.
“Yes. And I admit you were a surprise when Liam and I got home.”
“It’s been a very awkward s
ituation.”
“Believe it or not Cassie; I just want my boys’ happiness. They think I’m nosy for no reason, but that reason is I want to make sure they really are okay. But that’s like asking a rock for its name. And I’m sorry if that’s done anything to make you feel awkward with me.”
“It’s not a pleasant situation, and who would blame you for judging me?”
“Yes but I haven’t yet Cassie, that’s what I think you’re missing. I don’t judge someone until I know what I’m judging. So I might still judge you, but I’ve yet to.”
“Really? Even with what I did to him?”
“Depends. What exactly did you do to him?”
“I thought...I guess I assumed you knew.”
“Well I guess since I don’t know you’re going to have to tell me.”
Cassie cringed. She’d really put her foot in her mouth this time. Was it wise to tell her? If John or Luke hadn’t filled Nancy in, should she? Was Nancy using her to get the answers she wanted or was Nancy as sincere as she sounded?
“You don’t know about the first time?”
Nancy got up and grabbed the coffee pot, saying as she refilled their mugs, “What first time?”
“Ten years ago, John and I dated.”
Her hand jerked, coffee dripped onto the table. “That would have been John’s senior year?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re older, Luke’s age right?”
“Uh huh.”
“That’s news to me.”
“You’re not going to like this Mrs. Tyler,” Cassie warned.
“Please call me Nancy. And give me a chance. You might be surprised.”
“And you might be surprised by what I say.”
“All right then, ten years ago, you were dating my eighteen-year-old son. What happened?”
“John had been in love with me for a long while. Adolescent crush I guess. We ran into each other, Luke, John, and I, out of nowhere, when John was a senior. I had no intention toward him. But he did me. And—”
“Yes, and when John decides something, he is relentless in pursuing it.”
Surprised at her perception, Cassie nodded. “Yes, and I did eventually fall in love with him. I really did. Even though I knew he was much too young for me, and for what was going on.”
“I see.”
“No, you don’t see. I got pregnant.”
Nancy’s eyebrows shot up, and her mouth fell open. “Wow. That’s news, very big news. What happened?”
“I had an abortion. I’m sorry; I know how your family feels on that subject. John wasn’t consulted. In fact he only found out later when he happened on some of my mail with an insurance statement about the procedure. He walked out without another word to me. We didn’t speak again for ten years.”
“Wow.”
“You remembered my reputation? Well it was true. And I was the last person in the world who should have had a baby. I was screwed up to say the least. Nothing changed about me until six years ago.”
“When you had Tim.”
“Yes.”
“What made you keep Tim?”
Cassie bristled. “Just because I had an abortion doesn’t mean I take it lightly or think it should be an easy option of birth control. It was different circumstances and different results.”
“I wish John had told me,” Nancy said simply.
“He told me he never told anyone. He didn’t do anything. He quietly hated me and went about his life.”
Nancy smiled sadly. “He’s forgiven you then?”
“No.”
“He loves you.”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t know.”
“But he is dating you?”
“For now. Yes.”
“He’s like that Cassie. He doesn’t say something until he has a hundred percent conviction behind it.”
“You can’t possibly want him to love me.”
“I don’t think his heart is open to my opinions. Besides he already is in love with you. Now I know what his conflict is. Thank you for telling me.”
Cassie regarded Nancy for a long drawn out moment, waiting for some reaction other then telling her thanks. “That’s it?”
“What?”
Cassie stood. “After what I just told you and what you know of my history, that’s all you have to say? I breeze into town, disrupt everyone’s life, and all you have to say to me is ‘thank you’ for telling you?”
Nancy smiled. “Did you leave anything out?”
“What?”
“Well you seem to be very honest about yourself and I wondered if you’d left anything out.”
“Sure. There’s ten years in there I had to screw up. You’re his mother, how could you possibly not be trying to get John to lock me out of this house and stay a hundred miles away from me?”
“Because he loves you.”
Cassie opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. No person had reacted to her like this before; a mixture of caring and humor, and very little shock.
“How can you trust me?”
Nancy smiled. “I’m glad it didn’t work out ten years ago. I wouldn’t want that Cassie Reeves with my son. But this Cassie, I’m willing to give a chance. And besides, I know John; he doesn’t waste his time on people who aren’t worth it.”
Tears welled up in her eyes. This time, not of fear or hurt, but of gratitude like she’d never experienced before. This woman, who should distrust and want Cassie out of her family’s life, was looking past all of Cassie’s mistakes to give her a chance; a really fair, open-armed kind of chance. Cassie had never had mothering, and ached for it just then. Someone to put their arms around her and forgive her all she’d ever done, to tell her all was going to be fine, even if it wasn’t. She hadn’t known it would feel this good to have another woman understand her; accept her, without any explanations or excuses for how she was.
“Thank you,” Cassie said, her voice cloudy with the tears.
Nancy reached out and put her hand over Cassie’s. “It’s kindness. Which I know you’ve not been on the receiving end of a lot. There’s nothing to thank me for. And I gather since you were willing to bear your soul to me just now, and how scared you were of my opinion, that you’re in love with John.”
“Yes.”
“Good. Then you don’t have to be afraid of me or Liam. Liam, well, he’ll never ask you much more than about the weather, so you wouldn’t have been afraid of him anyways, but now at least you don’t have to be afraid of me.”
“I can’t thank you enough,” Cassie said softly.
“You already did. And it seems to me knowing all this cleared the way for a good start between you and me. Not the girl Cassie, but the thirty-three year old Cassie before me now. And if I’m right you’d like to be around for a long time. And I’m beginning to think I wouldn’t mind that.”
Tears fell from Cassie eyes. She wiped at them with the back of her hand.
“Oh my I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“No, no it’s all right. I’ve just never known a mother like you. I really haven’t.”
“Look in the mirror.”
Cassie’s tears increased. She turned away to hide them.
“Ah honey, you’ll get used to me,” Nancy said softly and came around the table wrapping an arm comfortably around Cassie’s shoulders.
“What did you say to her mom?” John entered the kitchen. He’d obviously just woken up. His hair was spiked and flattened in random sleep patterns. He’d thrown on jeans and a t-shirt.
Cassie quickly wiped at her eyes. “Wonderful things.”
John narrowed his eyes from his mom to Cassie.
Nancy smiled and set her hand on John’s forearm as she passed by him, saying softly, “I like her son. Be gentle with her, she needs a little more kindness than most.”
John looked up at his mother. “I get that mom.”
Nancy nodded then left discreetly. John walked behind Cassie and dropped an arm around her.
“Tell me she didn’t make you cry from boredom at listening to her recipes, or worse, stories of us as babies.”
Cassie grimaced and punched him in the arm. “No. I told her the truth, and she accepted it. She accepted me. She’s kind and funny and wonderful. She was motherly to me, when she should be shooing me out of here with a gun.”
“What did you tell her?”
“Everything. I thought she knew.”
“About the abortion?”
“Yes.”
“What did she say?”
“Nothing really. Just listened and told me she’s glad it didn’t work out then because she wouldn’t want you dating that Cassie. But this one, now, gets a chance.”
John let out a breath. His face relaxed. He smiled. “Yeah well, I guess that sums it up for me too.”
Cassie stiffened and looked sharply at his face. “Really? I thought you couldn’t forgive me? I thought—”
“Different Cassie. Different time. Ten years ago. I see that now.”
She turned and met his gaze. The look in his eyes made her knees almost collapse.
“Do you mean it?”
“Yes Cassie, I mean it.”
She fell into his arms. Her hands around his neck held her up. The person who had most hated her, despised her, judged her, had forgiven who she’d been and what she’d done. Maybe…maybe now she could finally forgive herself.
****
What no one had prepared for was the fact that he was smarter than them all. He should have done this first. It was so simple and so brilliant. Literally, he had become the bogey man under the bed. He’d kept an eye on them all as they staked out the hospital.
How funny and easy people were to control. Hurt one, and they all acted as if it was them. They were scared and edgy now, and all because of him.
Only he knew what was next.
He controlled it all.
He entered the house while they were all at the hospital. No one had done a thorough check of it when they all came back from the hospital together. No one had given a thought that the house had been sitting there empty and unprotected. It was so simplistic, so basic; no one had considered he’d be right there waiting for them. Choosing his time, stalking his prey. Waiting for Cassie.
