by Ning Cai
Looking back upon our travels, I don’t regret a thing. Those nine months were not easy – they were filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears, heartaches and exhilaration. But I’m glad I did it.
Of course I was afraid at the start. Giving up my radio talk show, having no salary for a year, emptying my life savings, not knowing what I would come back to career-wise, leaving my children behind, wondering what people might think of me... The world is so big, the multitude of cultures so foreign, and I didn’t even know if there would be ATM machines where we were going!
People often tell us that we are brave to have left our jobs to travel the world. But courage has nothing to do with having no fear. Ning and I were scared shitless! But I guess we’re not the sort of girls who would let a feeling dictate our actions. Sure, we could have shoved the idea and backed down from our dreams, but that’s just not who we are.
Don’t let fear stand in the way of your dreams!
“Fearlessness may be a gift, but perhaps
more precious is the courage acquired
through endeavour; courage that comes from
cultivating the habit of refusing to let fear
dictate one’s actions.”
– Aung San Suu Kyi
Ever since Ning and I returned from our world travels, several people have asked me to share my “professional planning tips” with them. I always find that amusing because we hardly planned at all. We just bought a one-way ticket and went with the flow. Most of the time, we didn’t even know where we were going next.
But if you really want to know how we made this entire backpacking trip happen at all, my very professional plan goes something like this:
Intention + Declaration +
Do whatever it takes, dammit!
It’s always the “how” that will kill your dreams. I prefer not to focus on that question first. Instead, the question I always ask myself is “why”. To me, that’s the more important question.
Once you’re convinced, make it known to everyone. That binds you to it. Keeping quiet about my intentions has never worked for me (especially with fitness goals!). You need to declare it loudly and clearly – a very necessary step – because declaration makes it real. And the curious thing is that after declaring it, doors will open for you. The universe conspires.
Finally, do whatever it takes. In my books, it’s the only way to approach the “how”. And by this, I don’t mean banging your head on the same spot on the wall. Doors will close in your face – that’s to be expected – but learn to shift quickly and find another way. Be fluid, like flowing water, but always keep the goal in sight.
As Thomas Edison once said, “I haven’t failed. I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”
And you will get there. Look at Ning and I! We started just where you are now – with nothing but a dream.
NING
“A good traveller has no fixed plans
and is not intent on arriving.”
– Lao Tzu
When I had my first “real” job, as a marketing assistant for an Orchard Road shopping mall’s management office, I remember being taken aback during a meeting with the company director, when the shrewd businessman stated that it was the end result that mattered – he didn’t care about the journey or the means.
This was the complete opposite of what I’d learnt in film school. My experimental film professor Ken Paul Rosenthal (whom Pam and I visited in San Francisco) had taught us that it was always about the journey. I’m more inclined to agree with the award-winning filmmaker.
Nine months of constant travelling hasn’t been easy. There were moments of anguish and heartache, but also times of great joy and inspiration. Travelling is different from holidaying. On a holiday, you switch your brain off on a short trip for which the itinerary is already prepared. With what Pam and I did, we had to constantly plan ahead for our next travel leg and make the necessary arrangements, and yet still remember to be in the moment and soak it all in.
I had no phone reception in some parts of the world so it was extremely frustrating not being “connected”, something this city girl took a long time to finally be zen about. Long journeys can be tiring and when one is cranky, it’s so easy to start a fight.
Pam and I fought about many ridiculous things, and there were times when I felt that the BFF was being completely unreasonable and I know she found me extremely difficult to be around when I chose to be stuck in my dark brooding mode. There were moments when I seriously needed some “me” time but Pam was adamant about sticking together for safety’s sake. Travelling together brought out the best and worst in us.
After our harrowing experience in New York City where we barely managed to shake off a big black scary dude who was stalking us from the subway station to near our apartment at midnight, Pam and I realised that at the end of the day, we really had to look out for each other!
Travelling made us smarter. Wiser in the ways of the world after experiencing different things in various cultures and places, and it’s true that a mind, once stretched, never goes back to its original dimensions.
Many people from different countries commented that they lived vicariously through us, as we constantly shared our travel adventures online. I’m glad that we inspired people and showed them that you really don’t need to be a millionaire to travel the world, because these two Singaporean girls did it!
Pam and I started off with a common fund of S$100,000 and at the end of our travels, we amazingly still had S$4,083.46 left!
An Iranian traveller I met shared an ancient Persian proverb with me: “True friends are known in travellings.” So if you’re considering an Adventures of 2 Girls escapade of your own, here are eight useful pointers because... well... we’ve been there, done that.
1. Pick your travel partner very carefully
When Adele sang Someone like You, she was also wisely talking about being smart in choosing your travel buddy. Unless you’re a masochist, never go on a trip with someone you barely know. Pick a like-minded individual; or it’s a surefire way of wrecking your friendship and creating an enemy for life.
2. Budget & Banking
Create a shared fund for common expenses to simplify things when travelling. Pam and I chipped in S$50,000 each and set up the bank account together with her sis. Since Desi was in Singapore, she could help with bank transfers whenever we needed it (and there are times when that is necessary because some places don’t accept PayPal or online credit card transactions). We also set up credit and debit cards for use overseas.
3. Flexibility & Planning
Different modus operandi can cause obvious conflict. Pam and I knew that we would gradually make our way around the world, but we didn’t have a strictly planned timeline. Our planning styles are pretty different, but we learnt to let whoever was in charge of that leg drive it, since we both had the same goals and objectives.
4. Openness & Communication
It’s important to listen to each other, especially when something makes one person uneasy. Pam and I made a pact to always make decisions together, so when we were invited to a drum circle event by a stranger who offered to drive us there, I told the excited BFF (Pam plays the drums) that I wasn’t comfortable and explained why. The BFF heard me out and agreed that we shouldn’t put ourselves out there, so we politely turned down the marijuana-smoking man’s offer.
5. Understanding & Vigilance
Spending time apart is important for my sanity, so my inner brooding artist got grouchy when we were together 24/7 during the nine months. Pam realised this, and as much as she was worried about my safety in a foreign country, she gave me my space, which helped a lot and I was a less snappy travelling companion.
Being vigilant is important as well, because there are unfortunately some dangerous people out there in this beautiful world. My Hawaiian bro Alan Okami gave me a knife, which I kept with me all the time, and Pam always carried her Spikey for safety.
6. Release Resen
tment
When travel fatigue and PMS collide, World War III can happen. Pam and I definitely went through draining fights but to move on, we always compromised. Resentment will build up otherwise, so forgive and forget, or the days and nights will only become unbearable. I don’t know if this works for you, but we did try prayer and meditation to take the edge off.
7. Essential Humour
Humour really helps in shifting perspective, helping you view events in a different light. You may think it lame but I found that whenever I got Pam to laugh, we bonded positively and that helped during our travels because they ended up becoming happy moments. This helped as a buffer against the difficult times we had, when there was anger and resentment.
8. Let Them Judge You
When you bravely start something unorthodox or uncommon, jealous people will be the first to criticise you and try to tear you and your dreams apart. Let them judge you. Let them say what they want. It’s your life not theirs, and what they say will only get to you if you allow them.
A degree of sacrifice is necessary, but I’m glad I did this. On returning to Singapore just before the year ended, I found myself hitting the ground running on the work front. Like magic, it all worked out beautifully and my fears were never justified. So yes, it is no illusion. It really is possible to live the life of your dreams.
Thank you for reading Adventures Of 2 Girls. I sincerely hope our story about friendship, life and everything else in between, will be a magical spark in reigniting that passionate fire deep within you. Never be afraid to do something others label as “crazy”. We only have one life and God surely didn’t intend for it to be boring and mundane.
Make it happen and don’t forget to tell us about it!
Join us on Facebook for the latest news & updates at Facebook.com/adventuresof2girls and follow us on Twitter: @magicbabening & @pamela_ho
“Dance as though no one is watching you.
Love as though you have never been hurt
before. Sing as though no one can hear you.
Live as though heaven is on earth.”
– Seneca
Us in Madagascar, at the Avenue of the Baobabs!
comics by Ning
about the authors
PAM
Pam is an award-winning print journalist. Previously a Deputy Editor with MediaCorp Publishing, her editorial flair and strong interview skills won her four Journalism Awards and numerous nominations, including a nomination for “Feature Story of the Year” at the MediaCorp News Awards 2008, for her article (Her)story of Singapore which commemorates how far the Singapore Woman has come since 1965.
A storyteller at heart, this versatile journalist has worked on a variety of media platforms, including print, radio and TV. At the time she took a one-year sabbatical to travel the world, Pam was a Senior Producer-Presenter with MediaCorp radio station, 938LIVE, where she co-hosted The Living Room, Singapore’s longest-running talk show on English radio.
Upon returning from her world travels, she joined regional TV broadcaster, Channel NewsAsia, and is currently a Senior Producer for the primetime morning show, AM Live!
Pam holds a Masters degree in Applied Psychology (NTU).
Close to Pam’s heart are human rights issues, especially with regards to women. She has volunteered with UN Women Singapore, Women Make A Difference, and as a mentor to Normal stream girls in her alma mater. She is passionate about travelling, playing the ukulele and drums, and is a prolific user of online social media.
NING
Ning Cai – aka ‘Magic Babe’ Ning – is Singapore’s first professional female magician and one of the world’s leading female illusionists and escape artists. The feisty lass is most well known for her original breakthrough illusions and mega-escapes performed in her distinct sexy style.
Proclaimed “the sexiest woman in magic” by Magicseen Magazine (Europe’s largest magic magazine), Ning is also a recipient of the 2012 “Patrons of Magic” award by the International Brotherhood of Magicians Ring 115, as well as a 2009 Merlin Award Winner for “Most Original Female Illusionist of the Year” by the International Magicians Society.
She is also a co-holder for three world magic records, including “Performing 50 magical productions in 5 minutes”, “Reading 100 minds in 60 minutes” and “Performing 15 grand illusions in 5 minutes”.
Ning has been featured in several high profile television shows and major newspapers, and graced the cover of many magazines, including FHM Singapore, Vanilla and MagicSeen Magazine UK. She is also a star blogger with her own regular column on The Straits Times’ online STOMP portal.
Apart from magic, Ning is an avid writer who was awarded the prestigious The Right Angle scholarship after garnering eight distinctions and writing awards in school. A Le Cordon Bleu-certified patissier, Ning is also a closet domestic Goddess who bakes the meanest double chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies.
