by Lee Carroll
“Wow.” Michael was learning so much, and his respect for Mary was soaring even beyond what it had been. She knew! Her intuition told her that her actions were being watched and used to help me.
“The test is at hand, Michael Thomas.” The angel was getting down to business. Michael knew there would have to be some kind of test. What would it be? How could this entity with his face and his soul know if the human Michael Thomas had accepted the reality of his self-worth or not?
“There is only one way.” The angel floated off to one side. “Do not be alarmed, Michael, but I must now remove your gift of vibrational protection for the rest of our time together. You have either absorbed the truth or not. This test may not seem difficult, but it is impossible to pass unless you are pure and have accepted the truth of the partnership.”
“I have,” said Mike, feeling anxious. What was the golden one going to do? The white bubble was beginning to fade around him, and he was once again seemingly assaulted by the vibration of the sanctity of the God force around him. There it was again. All that love. All that energy of purpose and focus of millions of entities. This time, however, Michael also felt something new. He felt a slight tingle of being part of it all. Could this be the test?
“I feel it!” called outMichael. He was hoping that this was it. Would the test, whatever it was, be over now? No such luck. Instead, the great golden angel with the face of Michael Thomas approached him.
“Michael Thomas of Pure Intent, sit down on the third step.” Mike was starting to breathe with difficulty again. His cells simply didn’t understand being in a vibration that was so high. Mike spoke out loud to his body, not thinking about the fact that the golden angel was even there. He had to get control over his biology—and right now!
“WE are okay,” Mike said to his cells. “Don’t react in fear! WE deserve this. WE are worthy of this!”Mike was shouting and he knew it. He was automatically doing what Green had taught him, and he was getting instant results. He sat down on the third stair of the great golden throne and began to grow calm. Mike suddenly realized that the golden one was watching him intently. He saw the biggest smile on that golden face!
“You really do know what to do, my human counterpart. These are things that I could not impart to you, but you have learned them well from the others. Now, let’s see if you have fully absorbed what I had to give you in the same way.”
The next thing that happened shocked Michael Thomas even more than the revelation of the angel’s face a few moments before. The great golden one, who moments before had represented the epitome of the God force itself, was beginning to kneel before Michael Thomas. The magnificent golden wings spread and unfurled in a royal manner, like a cape of gold unfolding and expanding with the angel’s movements toward the floor. The two magnificent appendages fanned out just enough to allow the great body to move gracefully down without his wings touching the ground.
Mike’s body did indeed have a strong reaction, but it didn’t disable him this time. Instead, it overwhelmed him in a loving way as he continued to watch what the angel was going to do.
As he knelt, the grand angel produced a golden bowl from somewhere and held it gently before him ceremoniously. He looked directly at Mike and spoke loving words to him.
“In this bowl are figuratively the tears of my joy for YOU, Michael Thomas. With this, I wish to anoint and wash your feet, for you are worthy of the honor.”
Oh no! This Godly entity is going to actually touch me! Now Mike understood the test. A touch from this golden one would determine if Mike’s cells had really understood the worthiness issue, and if his body was truly aware of its lineage of sacredness. No wonder the test couldn’t be faked. This was it! The angel paused before he touched the left foot of Michael Thomas, and answered the questions in Mike’s mind.
“It isn’t a test of vibrational shift, Michael. For you and I will never be the same vibration until we meld together again at the end. This is a test of your human belief. WE must own the fact that WE, as God, deserve to be human. This will test if you truly understand that you are worthy of having your feet washed by Spirit itself, and if the love you have for God is reflected in the love you have for yourself.”
Mike relaxed. He knew his own mind and knew he had accepted this thought and lesson from the grand one. He suddenly realized that the test would reveal it to the angel as well. He was ready. There he sat, before the grandest of the grand. The angel, even with its largeness, had positioned itself below Mike’s eye level. The protocol was not lost on Mike, and he felt his emotions well up inside at what was taking place.
The noble one gently took his foot, and an unbelievable tingling feeling crept up Michael’s body—right up into his very heart and mind. He was starting to overflow with compassion, and tears began streaming down his face. He said nothing as the angel gently washed his foot. Michael felt he was loved beyond measure. He didn’t disappear. He didn’t vanish in a flash of energy. Although he was feeling the pressure of the vibrational energy between them, and was barely coping with it, he was aware that he was worthy to receive it. Still he remained silent, for he knew that love is quiet. He knew that pure love has no agenda, so the glorious gold one wasn’t going to ask him for anything in return. He knew that love didn’t puff itself up, and that the angel wasn’t going to suddenly be joined by a legion from the heavenly hosts. This was personal, and the angel was silently asking Michael to accept the honor and just BE. The feeling in Michael Thomas was indescribable. Tears of great joy and gratitude continued to flow, but he was not ashamed. He knew that the angel understood that this was a human’s way of saying thank you—odd as it might seem. Finally, the angel spoke again. His voice was full of pride for Michael.
“Michael Thomas of Pure Intent, you have indeed passed this great test—one of the greatest of all. But now I will show you something even greater. Even though you have passed all tests, and even though you stand ready to move to the door of home itself, I will now wash your other foot. It is my honor to do so and exemplifies the love that God has for you. There is no more test here. There is nothing I gain from this. I do it because I love you. Never forget this moment.”
If there could have been a more sacred moment in Mike’s life, he couldn’t fathom it. The tears continued to flow, and the love continued to be shared by the two entities of the same soul force, as the great golden angel gently washed Mike’s other foot, which looked small in the angel’s large hands. Finally, it was over. The bowl magically vanished, and the angel straightened to full height, his wings again folded appropriately and perfectly against his body.
“You may now arise, Michael Thomas. Your intent has been shown to be pure indeed, and you are ready to go home!”
Michael got up, looked around the chamber, and then back at the angel. As if reading his mind, the angel took his hand and motioned to something behind Mike.
“Up the stairs, Michael,” the angel again smiled.
Mike turned and looked up into the swirling golden fog. The steps on the golden throne beckoned him into yet another unknown place of great purpose. He looked back at the angel as if to confirm that he was to climb the stairs for himself.
“The door you seek is there, Michael. Oh yes, and remember this: Things are not always as they seem.”
Mike didn’t stop to ask about that statement at this point. It was slowly becoming the mantra of this place. He was aware that he could not stay here for long. The angel knew it, too, and gently moved next to Michael, touching him again, this time with a great encircling arm around Mike’s shoulder. In a soft, reassuring voice, the angel spoke his last words.
“I just came from there myself, Michael. It’s okay. You must go now. The goal is at hand. I will join you there shortly. We never say good-bye, since we are one.”
Mike knew he had to remove himself from this potent energy. He turned and quickly started up the steps. Now, he understood why there were stairs. It was for the human, not the angel, and the steps were s
paced apart perfectly for Mike’s foot size. It was all starting to make sense, but Mike didn’t want to analyze anymore. It was time to graduate! It was his time to move into that place called home. He moved forward up the steps of the great ornate golden throne. He stopped to look one more time at the golden one, the piece of God that was he, now standing regally with its hands clasped together, smiling at Michael Thomas from the foot of the steps. The angel was right. There was no feeling here of any farewell. It really was part of him! Mike began to realize that within the last day he had met two parts of himself. The one without love, and the one with it. Somewhere in between was the human consciousness, and it was for him to choose where it would settle. What a concept!
Mike turned and began to climb the steps. The thick fog hid what was immediately above him, and he could only see about ten golden stairs at a time. He was careful to watch his footing. The last thing he wanted was to fall off this tower at the pinnacle of his sacred journey. He laughed to himself at the thought of ingloriously tumbling back to the bottom and apologizing to his grand higher self for being a klutz. The mild humor immediately made him feel more relaxed.
He was aware that he had climbed at least two stories of steps, and a landing of some sort was just ahead. What a magnificent throne, he thought. It’s really huge! And it’s his! Finally, he had reached the top of the steps. Michael was not disappointed. There, next to an enormous ornate and regally carved golden chair, was the door he had planned on viewing for these many weeks. His vision of so long ago now loomed before him, within easy reach. It was well lit and the main feature next to the chair. It seemed to be suspended, without walls around it, and it was not apparent where its reality met the reality of the golden throne. Mike realized that it was not part of the House of Self-Worth, or the structure he was in. It was a portal, and therefore had a different dimensional attribute. The door had a great deal of writing on it, some of which he could not interpret, but in plain English he also saw the word HOME.
Mike had waited a long time for this. He had been through a great deal, learned much, and had altered his very cellular structure in preparation for what was on the other side of this portal. Now it almost seemed anticlimactic. He stood there thinking of all that had happened, and of the breathtakingly beautiful golden angel at the foot of the stairs. He thought again of what had happened there on the third step a few moments before. Indeed, that last experience had made the final difference in how he felt. Mike faced the door in a ceremonious way.
“I deserve this!” said a confident Michael Thomas. “And I honor the Universe for allowing me to do what I am about to do. With complete love, I enter the place I have asked to be.”
The ceremony completed, Michael Thomas breathed one more giant breath of human air, and bravely opened the door marked HOME.
Mike vomited.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Through the Door
to Home
Hold his head to the left, next to the tray!” cried the nurse to the orderly. “He’s vomiting.” The emergency ward was crowded that night, as often takes place on a Friday. This time the full moon also complicated things.
“Is he awake?” asked the neighbor who had accompanied Mike to the ward. The orderly bent down to closely examine Mike’s eyes.
“Yeah. He’s coming out of it,” the white-coated orderly replied. “When you can speak to him, don’t let him up. He’s got a nasty head bump with a few stitches. Don’t want them pulled out of place.”
The orderly moved out of the cubicle, an area separated by a curtain on a semicircular rod, offering some privacy from many others just like it.
Mike opened his eyes. He knew immediately where he was. He was back on Earth in the hospital where this had all begun. The fluorescent fixtures that bathed the emergency area in a bright sterile light made Mike wince and close his eyes. The temperature in the room was cold, and Mike instantly felt the need for a blanket. The orderly returned with one, as though he had heard Mike’s silent request. Then he left again.
“You’ve been out for a while, buddy,” said the neighbor, feeling a bit embarrassed that he didn’t even know Mike’s name. “They sewed up your head. Don’t try to talk.” The neighbor patted Mike’s chest nervously and exited the curtained area to the waiting room.
Mike was alone. His head was swimming with the reality of what had happened. This all had been a dream! The ugly, vile thing that he had defeated in the vision had been right all along! Mike had been on Earth the whole time, lying in a hospital in a daze—a coma—and none of the wonderful things he had experienced had been real.
Mike felt like he was going to vomit again, this time from the reality of the situation. He was back. Home was just a pipe dream, and the land of angels was exactly what the monster had said—so much fairy talk. None of it had happened, and Mike was still in the hospital! Nothing he had seen or had been taught had any substance or validity. He closed his eyes and wished for death.
The head night nurse came into the cubicle and bent over Mike. He could smell her slight perfume over the other smells of the disinfectant around him. She examined the bandage on his forehead and touched him slightly.
“Mr. Thomas, are you awake?”
“Yes,” said a weary and depressed Mike.
“You can go now. We sutured and dressed your cut and you’re fine. It’s okay to leave now.” Mike knew something was different.
“My jaw—my throat?”
“Nothing’s wrong with them, Mr. Thomas. Was there a problem we missed?” Mike exercised his jaw and felt his neck as the concerned nurse watched. All seemed to be in good order.
“No. I guess I just dreamed it.” Mike was back to reality. He thought briefly about business. “Nurse, how long have I been here?”
“About three hours, Mr. Thomas.” The nurse smiled and was attentive.
“And what about the bill?” Mike needed to know.
“It’s covered under some kind of policy your apartment has, sir. There are some papers to sign, but nothing to pay.”
“Thank you, Miss.” The nurse left the cubicle, and Mike was again alone. Something didn’t add up. Although it seemed like a couple of months ago, Mike vividly remembered that the thief had indeed crushed his throat in the struggle. All these injuries had happened before his vision, or dream, or whatever it had been. So nothing he dreamed could have changed that. Now, however, not only was there no damage to his throat, but none to his jaw either. Was this still another dream? No. Mike was overwhelmed with the pressure on his bladder. He had to go the bathroom! This was back-to-basic Earth reality, the kind he was used to as a real human.
Mike arose and ignored the ache in his head. He was still in his street clothes, he realized, as he went in search of the bathroom. He found it immediately. It was a small, one-person, generic hospital bathroom, reeking of disinfectant and extremely clean. He relieved himself. It seemed foreign—like something he had not done for months, and it seemed to go on and on and on.
Mike was washing up when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Something was different about his face. He drew closer to the mirror, looked into his own eyes for a long time, and questioned what he was seeing. He was standing up straight and felt good! Perhaps the three-hour rest in the hospital was exactly what he had needed.
Mike slowly walked out of the treatment area and was greeted by his neighbor who was there waiting for him. Mike saw him and shook his hand.
“Thanks Mr.—uh—” Mike was at a loss for a name.
“Please call me Hal, Mr. Thomas.” The neighbor was grateful to see Mike up and better.
“Hal, have you been waiting all this time?” Mike was curious.
“It was nothin’, Mr.—” Mike interrupted him.
“Please, call me Mike.”
“Okay, Mike. My car is just outside. Let’s go home.” Mike suddenly reacted to the word home, and felt a stab in the pit of his stomach that reminded him how his dream had disappointed him so miserably.
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br /> “Sounds good, Hal.” Mike was genuinely appreciative. While Hal went for the car, Mike signed the necessary papers and went outside.
On the way home, Mike questioned his neighbor about the incident. All seemed to be as he remembered, except the injuries. Did I imagine that? Mike wondered to himself.
Mike thanked Hal again for his gracious hospitality and went into his apartment. He opened the door in the usual manner, snapped on the meager light, stepped inside, and closed the door.
He was overcome with smells and sights that should have been very familiar to him but were not. Although there was a mess to clean up and a stereo to put back, the fish tank had not been broken as he had remembered. Something was very wrong here. He felt as though he were visiting some poor person and helping to clean the guy’s place! Mike stopped and looked around at everything.
This place didn’t belong to him!Why would he have ever thought so? Why was it so dark and dingy? Three hours ago it was his, and now it seemed to belong to a guy from an entirely different world. What was happening?
Mike realized that his consciousness did not match that of the man who used to live here. It somehow seemed odd and inappropriate for him to even think about sleeping here. Mike went to his top drawer and searched through his things. There, where he had left it, was a current credit card that he had never felt he would use. It’s too much money to pay for credit, he used to say. I don’t need nice things, he would say. Mike flipped it into his wallet, checked to see that he had at least a few dollars, and began gathering some belongings and toiletries. Finally, he snapped off the light and left the apartment. He knew he would have to come back to get his personal things and his fish, but he made a mental note to himself to give notice immediately. He then went to Hal’s apartment and briefly told him what he was intending to do in case a police report would be needed later.
