She knew that the slight-built, hairless figure who stood over her was her creator. She knew that it had no name she was allowed to utter. The creator existed, simply is.
‘You will be called Lilith.’
‘Lilith.’
‘You should bathe in the river.’ Is nodded towards the gently swirling waters. ‘Clean yourself before you meet your mate.’
*
Lilith stared at the creature-being-He. This one’s eyes were dark (ah, so this is dark) and shot through with filaments of blue.
Is, whom Lilith had followed to this place, turned and smiled.
‘This is Adam, you are his helpmeet.’
Lilith watched Adam and Adam watched her. Beautiful as he was, there was something dull in his stare. He made no sound.
Is looked from one to the other then said, ‘Everything in this Garden is yours. You can walk where you will and do what you will. Nothing will harm you.’ Is paused before continuing. ‘There is one angel you must never speak with. It will offer you the knowledge of good and evil. Ignore it or you will die. And death is a dark, cold nothing.’
‘How can it be nothing?’ Lilith asked. ‘There must always be something.’
‘Death is nothing,’ Is said firmly. ‘I will explain it to Adam and then Adam will tell you in ways you can understand.’
‘Lilith.’ Adam’s voice was low and gruff. He was pleasing to look at with his mottled skin and long mane of many colours. His face was squarer than Lilith’s (she had seen her own reflected in the river) and roughened by thick, dark hair that grew about his chin. Lilith stared at the thing hanging limply between Adam’s legs and felt a deep part of her body swell and grow moist. She breathed fast, unable to find words even though she had many to say.
Adam stood directly in front of her. She wanted to hold him and for the man to hold her. She wanted other things that she couldn’t understand. Adam stared at her but made no move. She took a step towards him and reached out and touched his face. He grunted softly and covered her hand with his. She took his face in both hands and drew him to her and pressed her lips on his, which opened. His breath was hot.
His arms encircled her and gently lowered her into the thick, soft grass where she cried out his name and received him.
*
Adam and Lilith wandered The Garden and all was colour and sound. The ground beneath their bare feet was soft with moss. The air was sweet with flower scent. Everywhere there was life; from the buzz and scurry of tiny flying and creeping things to the crash and lumber of giant beasts with long, long necks and legs like the trunks of trees. There were animals that flew and creatures that crawled, slitherers and leapers, flutterers and soarers. Nothing harmed Adam and Lilith and, in turn, The He and The She harmed no living thing. Time was the light of day and the star-dusted dark of night and its passing was of no consequence. Adam and Lilith slept when tired and ate fruit, leaf and root when hungry. They named each beast and plant they encountered.
Sometimes Is would come to them just as the light turned gold and the day faded. They had taken to resting in one particular clearing at night. It seemed right to them that there should be a place they always returned to. Is would enter in a breath of cool air and when it appeared, all the animals of The Garden would fall silent.
‘Adam,’ Is said each time. ‘Walk with me.’
‘And me?’ Lilith asked.
‘No, just Adam.’
This night Lilith asked a question just as Is and Adam set off for their walk.
‘Why should we not speak to the angel?’
‘Because I order it,’ Is said.
‘But why?’
A moment’s hesitation, then, ‘I will explain to Adam and then he can explain to you.’ Is became gentle. ‘You are Adam’s helpmeet, you exist to serve him. You should not trouble yourself with these matters.’
*
‘What did Is tell you?’ Lilith asked when Adam returned, deep in the night. She had tried to sleep but could not. This had never happened before. When she was tired she slept, but not tonight.
‘It’s too big.’
‘Too big?’
Adam sighed. ‘I cannot talk it to you.’
‘We were both made from the earth so why won’t Is speak with me?’
‘Is speaks to me,’ Adam replied.
Lilith had asked the question many times and always Adam gave her the same answer.
The world was still peace and joy, it was warm and it was cool, there was scent and sound. In the morning the world was wet with dew, as were Adam and Lilith, but the sun soon dried them. They walked and saw and heard and they loved and wanted no one but each other.
But then, with the oncoming dark, Is came and took Adam from her once again. Lilith sat up and watched them walk away and fade into the shadow and moon-splash confusion of the garden. She lay down on the soft grass and tried to sleep, but she could not close her eyes. She rolled onto her back and stared up into the bright, sparkling night sky. Still her eyes would not close. So she got to her feet and set off into the dense forest of plants in search of Adam and Is.
She tripped and stumbled, strained to hear their voices.
‘Lilith.’
She started and felt a pounding in her chest she normally only felt when Adam touched her. The voice was strange, not Adam and not Is. Stems and branches rustled and then a figure stepped from the patchwork of shadow and light.
‘Don’t be afraid.’ It was a He.
‘What is afraid?’ Lilith asked.
The figure laughed softly. ‘You really don’t know, do you?’
‘Are you the angel?’ Lilith asked.
‘Oh yes, but you can call me Lucifer.’
‘I am not to talk to you.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I will die.’
‘And have you died?’
‘No.’
‘So, you can speak with me.’
He came closer, into a patch of moonlight and she saw how beautiful he was. Taller than Is, fair-haired, his eyes fire-bright. Like her, he was naked.
‘I can teach you as Is teaches Adam.’
Lilith struggled with Lucifer’s words. He seemed wise. She felt the same power, the same ancient presence as she did when she was with Is.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Teach me.’
And later, after they had talked for many hours, hidden deep in the garden, Lucifer drew close and touched her. The gentlest touch she had ever known, and one that took the breath from her throat.
From then on, Lilith followed Adam and Is whenever they walked in The Garden. And each time she met with Lucifer.
*
Gunfire interrupted my concentration. The window shattered, fragments of glass waterfalled into the room. I dropped to the floor. As I clutched at the dusty, mouldering boards, I wondered how in the name of God this was going to end.
Silence fell. I struggled into a sitting position, coughing, frosted with dust. I tasted grit and spat it onto the floor.
‘Are you all right?’ I asked.
‘Yes, yes,’ Juliana sounded impatient with my concern. She waved me away when I tried to help her back to her feet. ‘Read on, please.’
‘We’re not going to get out of here,’ I said.
‘Don’t underestimate us, Christine.’
We stayed on the floor. It seemed safer down there. I retrieved the notebook. Nothing else I could do, but read the thing. At least it was reasonably compelling.
*
‘Lilith.’
She awoke, almost uttered Lucifer’s name, but found herself looking at Is. She sat up quickly, trying to cover herself with her arms. Is stood over her, fists clenched. Adam crouched nearby. He stared at her, face crumpled in confusion.
‘Why have you disobeyed me?’ Is sounded gentle, but there was something else beneath the softness of its voice. ‘Why did you speak with the angel?’
‘I . . .’ She could not find the words. Lucifer had told her so many things but it wa
s as if they had been thrown to the top of a tall tree and she could not reach to take any of them down. She was shaking. And understood that this was what Lucifer had called fear.
‘At night,’ Is said quietly. ‘When I talk with Adam, you crawl out like a snake to meet with the usurper.’
Lilith struggled to her feet. She had to stand, she would not crouch before Is anymore. Is watched her, eyes burning.
‘I am compassionate.’ Is’s voice had fallen to a whisper. ‘I can forgive. But you must never meet with that creature again. He is a monster, puffed-up, a traitor. He dared to challenge me. I forged him and his . . . his horde and saw that they were good. And now I would vomit them out of my mouth.’ Is paused. Then, ‘Will you do as I ask, Lilith?’
She closed her eyes and painted pictures in the red darkness. She saw herself huddled here, in the clearing, as Adam and Is walked away to talk. She saw Lucifer waiting. She saw herself alone, weeping, crying for his voice, his kindness and wisdom. And his touch.
‘No.’ It was as if someone else had spoken the word.
Is threw back its head and roared and the sky was torn and darkness boiled through its wounds. The air raged and whirled and shrieked through the garden, shredding leaves, breaking bough and stem. Lilith was driven to the ground. She saw Adam, curled and shivering.
The sky flashed and spat and answered Is with loud crashes and rumbles that seemed to shake the earth itself.
‘Go,’ Is howled. ‘Go from here, harlot!’
Lilith ran into the angry darkness. The air swirled and twisted about her, contorted the trees until they groaned. She fell, clambered back onto her feet then drove herself on. Something was coming, something terrible bearing down on her. She could hear its song in her head.
The Garden ended.
Lilith stumbled to a halt, shivered and understood fear for a second time. The whole world stopped here, as if it had been cut open. And below, beating at the wounded earth far below, was a river. But this river was so huge she could not see the far side.
Then it came, plummeting from the broken sky, vast and shining, wings spread, and with a face so beautiful Lilith wept. It was bringing her death. She stood at the end of the world and watched as it became everything she could see, hear or feel.
*
In a blaze of light and roar of song, Lilith was torn from the earth and up into the cold, restless sky.
The world tumbled about her. The impossible river raged far beneath. It was some time before Lilith understood that she clung to the feathers of a huge flying beast and was sitting astride its back. The creature’s neck was long, its beak lined with rows of long, sharp teeth. Its wings barely moved as they caught the bitter air currents which swept the creature higher then sent it into long, shallow dives towards the grey, restless water. Fierce as it seemed, the bird offered no threat. Lilith felt safe. The dizzy swoop and climb of the flight became exhilarating. She laughed.
The horizon thickened and became the far bank of the vast river. It was a dark garden where there were no trees, but huge mountains that spewed fire and smoke. Blazing orange water poured from their mouths, hot even from far above.
The mountains gave way to a bleak place, where the ground was damp and covered with clumps of trees and plants and where huge creatures walked. This wet, hot garden grew denser and denser until it lapped like a river at the base of a great rock.
On the summit of the hill were other rocks. These were carved into shapes, some tall and graceful, others low and solid. In the centre was an immense tower, so high its top was lost in cloud. As they came closer Lilith saw figures climbing and ascending a great stairway that spiralled about its flanks, figures that looked like Adam and herself.
The bird landed among the dwelling places and crouched low to allow Lilith to clamber from its back. She was dizzied by the noise, the smell of smoke, the dust, the voices and the crowds of tall, beautiful people who had gathered around her. Confused, she turned back to the bird. It was gone, and in its place stood Lucifer. He smiled and offered her his hand. Lucifer spoke to the others and they quietened. Lilith could not understand his words but when he had finished many of them dropped to their knees and lowered their faces to the hard, smooth ground. Lucifer took Lilith’s hand and led the way into the nearest of the dwellings. Inside it was like a cave but clean and bright. There were places to lie and to sit and food that was already prepared.
‘Eat, Lilith,’ he said. She did so. The food was better than anything she had tasted in The Garden. He watched her for a while then spoke again. ‘We are the same, you and I.’
‘But you are a He.’
‘True enough,’ Lucifer laughed. ‘What I mean is that we both questioned Is. We both sought to think and act as we saw good. We have both been cast out.’ He smiled. ‘I am an angel, second only to Is itself.’ He leaned forward, dropped his voice to a whisper. ‘I am building a tower that will reach to Heaven.’
‘Heaven?’
‘The garden where I was made, my rightful home.’ His smile faded. ‘Lilith, you are more beautiful than you could ever know. You will be my queen and the mother of an entire race. Your beauty and strength mingled with mine, your human seed with the seed of a god. We will people this world with titans.’
Lilith stayed with Lucifer, and as he promised, she was soon with child.
*
I looked up from the notebook. The light had faded. It would be dark soon. I was suddenly swamped with my fear and, for a moment, wanted to give in, to make this go away.
Get a grip.
I breathed deep to steady my nerves and returned my attention to the story.
*
Lilith’s dreams were torn by noise, cacophony. She opened her eyes, lost in the brief hinterland between sleep and wakefulness. The sounds made no sense to her, until she heard the screams. She sat up, staring wildly about the familiar room. The white gossamer drapes drawn across the huge open window were ruffled by a cold breeze. The air was wrong, the smell no longer fresh and sharp. It was tainted.
Smoke.
Lilith struggled to her feet, once more heavy with child (daughters, always daughters) and crossed to the window.
The city burned.
And the tower, Lucifer’s vast stairway home, was crumbling. Its gorgeous masonry boiled and melted, black, black smoke painted a sky already darkened by monstrous clouds. Their bellies flickered with flame which licked at the tower and struck down at the city.
My children . . .
Lilith’s cry was silent, trapped inside her by grief and fear. She could not understand what she saw. The city was burning and the city was filled with her children, and her children’s children. And now they were dying.
She ran along the corridors, ignoring shouts of warning, choking on the smoke and dust. She reached the stairs and stumbled down. Others followed, calling her name, promising to get her to safety.
Then Lucifer was there, running towards her up the stairs.
‘You should have waited,’ he said. His face, ageless and beautiful was wrought with grief. ‘I was coming . . .’
This time Lilith gave voice to her anguish. ‘My children.’
‘The city is lost. Is will not be defied.’ Lucifer grabbed her arms, held them tightly. ‘My people and your children are fleeing, scattering across this world. We will build another city.’
Lilith crumpled. She fell forward and was suddenly astride a great cat, black and sleek, bounding gracefully down the steps and out into a world fogged with smoke, hot from flame, choked with dust and debris and the stench of the dead. Vast, red-glowing fragments of masonry, blown from the great tower, arced through the sky to smash into once-beautiful buildings. Each impact shook the earth and would have flung Lilith to the ground if it had not been for Lucifer’s arm tight about her.
Then Lilith saw birds rising, her children on their backs, disappearing into the boiling night-black cloud.
‘Take me home,’ she whispered to Lucifer. ‘Take me back to The
Garden.’
‘No, Lilith.’
‘Take me home.’
*
Lilith knelt on the cliff edge. In front of her The Garden was as lush and glorious as she remembered. Sweet scents drifted from its depths, birdsong punctuated the pulse of the waves and gentle rhythm of Lilith’s weeping.
Behind her, the ocean beat at the foot of the rocky wall and somewhere in the sky, Lucifer was sweeping across the clouds in search of his scattered peoples. He had held her, kissed her and wept his own tears, tears that burned and sang as they fell.
‘Always,’ he whispered. ‘Only call my name and I will come to you.’
Then he had turned, leapt skyward and was gone.
Lilith got to her feet, weary but knowing there was little time. Is would not tolerate her in The Garden. The dense beauty of the place revived her, the coolness of the grass beneath her feet, the perfumes of flowers and music of bird and beast. She walked and came, at last, to the clearing.
Where a woman sat, alone.
Lilith took a step towards her. ‘I am Lilith.’
The woman, childlike in her curiosity and lack of fear, said, ‘I am Eve.’
*
I sensed that someone else had stepped into the attic room. There was a familiar smoky scent. A cigar.
‘Miss Brown?’ The new voice was sonorous.
And shockingly familiar.
I closed the notebook, the act oddly furtive, and turned, slowly, to face the newcomer.
‘I am impressed, young lady, that you were able to break through that ring of steel,’ Winston Churchill rumbled. ‘Perhaps I really will see England again.’
I stared at him, bewildered, and shaken by his humanness; by the solid fact of his skin and clothes, of the sound of his breathing. And by the weariness etched deep into his face.
I took a last nerve-steadying swig of the seemingly bottomless wine bottle then offered it to Churchill. He drank deeply and enthusiastically, then drew on his cigar with equal enjoyment. The smell was oddly reassuring.
‘As much as I appreciate your faith in me, sir,’ I said, ‘I don’t think we’ll break through this time. The Jerries have this place surrounded.’
‘You will,’ Juliana said. ‘The Germans will not know which way to run.’
Tales from the Vatican Vaults Page 45
