by Laura Gibson
Rachel took a deep breath in and exhaled. She smiled at the three men, “Let’s go to the van, there’s something in there I forgot.”
She knew she couldn’t say it at Phillips at all, she could never mention the secrets that she was keeping locked up tight where the wrong people might hear her, but they had to know what they were up against.
It was time for Rachel to tell them everything.
Chapter Twenty
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
October 29th, 2008
Rachel
Rachel had always possessed an unruly desire to discover. Information, secrets. They all meant the same thing to her at their core. They were knowledge and the one thing her heart yearned for more than anything else was power over that knowledge.
There were secrets here at Phillips Academy and the blind eye that Rachel had tried to turn was now wide open and she could see everything. Kelly had tried to warn her, Jefferson had tried to control her, Ryan had tried placating her, and now she was going to find out for herself just what had happened to Anna Hill.
Rachel went to the public library downtown because she just couldn’t justify using Phillips resources for her work. On that night it was all but deserted and Rachel was glad for it, she didn’t need anyone looking over her shoulder.
Day had turned into night, but still, Rachel obsessed over the information pooling before her. The deeper she dug the more she didn’t like what she saw but the less she could even think of looking away.
In the articles that Rachel found, the bits and pieces, scraps of things that couldn’t be fully eradicated by whoever was trying to hide the truth, Rachel found out that sometimes Anna wasn’t Anna. She was a new creature named Alice. No last name, just Alice.
Apparently, Alice had been an enigma to the underground world. She was beautiful and vivacious, but she was terrifying all at the same time.
She had been very successful as smuggling drugs across international waters and selling them to the upper class of America, the wealthy, the powerful but then all of the sudden she dropped off the radar. Like a ghost. Except… a few months later someone had taken a photograph of her at a nightclub.
A rather innocent photo as it was, she was just a blurry face in the background, but the cheek that she was kissing was of a man who was in full focus.
Rachel stared at the photo and tried to see its secrets; taken just days before Anna Hill’s body was discovered in a residency owned by the Williams, it was the last clue to solving the puzzle.
“So you found Casimir.” Kelly said quietly, coming up to Rachel’s table, putting his hand on the print out of the photograph.
“Who is he?” Rachel asked without looking up, their last conversation wasn’t all that pleasant and she wasn’t ready to relive it.
“He was,” Kelly gritted his teeth together and his lips became a thin line before he answered, “He was my brother-in-law, I guess.”
Rachel flicked her eyes up to Kelly’s, wondering if that was something that he would lie about. “Alice was married?”
Kelly’s jaw tightened. “Anna.” He corrected her, “Anna was married.”
Rachel felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment and she looked back down at the photo, “I’m sorry, I got so used to looking for the different name.”
They were both silent for a little while longer before Rachel found her next question, “But if Anna was married to this Casimir, than why was she with Jefferson?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” Kelly found a chair and pulled it up to the table. He laughed quietly. A cynical laugh, one that made Rachel uneasy about the company she was sharing.
“Anna was not a person to be proud of.” Kelly nodded his head, “But she was my sister and that counted for something, so I tried to understand why this man, who was twice her age wanted a child bride and I didn’t really like what I found out.”
“Kelly, these people.” Rachel’s hands touched the papers in front of her, “They’re not good people.”
“You don’t even know the half of it.” Kelly shook his head. He rubbed his tired face and Rachel could see the sorrow in his eyes. “I tried to protect you.”
“But you knew what I was walking into.” Rachel’s voice never changed. She wasn’t angry, but she wasn’t okay with what was happening either.
Kelly shook his head again, his eyes never leaving the photo of Anna and Casimir. “Yeah, I knew.”
“And there’s more to tell me.” Rachel pushed.
“There’s always going to be more, Rachel.” Kelly looked up at her finally, “There will always be more to this story than you could ever find out with public records.” His face had twisted into a frown. “And the only truth you will ever know is that it’s unstoppable.”
Rachel shook her head, “No, I don’t believe it, nothing is unstoppable.”
“This is, Rachel.” Kelly’s words were darkened by the ominous look on his face and Rachel tried to swallow her fear.
“I can’t accept that.” Rachel stood her ground. “They’re people; they have to play by the rules just like everyone else.”
“Rachel. They’re not playing by the rules. They have their own set and the closer we get to them, the more we have to accustom to that set.” Kelly was determined to get her to turn back.
“Okay, fine. What are they then?” Rachel was feeling bull headed and stubborn and she knew she sounded the part, but she couldn’t just walk away from this.
“If I tell you this, they’ll kill you.” Kelly’s face was stone. “And I can’t live with another death on my hands.”
“Then tell me, why it involves the Williams, the Prescotts, the Bronens and your sister.” Rachel was angry now, “Tell me why every time I find something one of those four names comes up and it all seems to disappear after that.”
“Because, Rachel.” Kelly was angry with her as well, “That’s how these things go. There are major parts and there are minor parts and then there are parts that just wind up getting cut.”
“Then why are you still alive?” Rachel was still hoping he would tell her the truth. The absolute truth.
“Because they still need me.” Kelly’s face fell and his shoulders sagged,
Because I’m family, I guess.”
“Bull.” Rachel shook her head. “There’s more and you’re just not telling me.”
Rachel started to shove all her papers together and put them in a folder. Kelly reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her, “Please, Rachel, you’ve got to believe me. Walk away from this. Walk away from it and never look back. They’re going to hurt you. They don’t care about you.”
“No one does, Kelly.” Rachel wrenched her wrist out his grasp and slung her bag over her shoulder. “It’s not news to me.”
He grabbed her wrist, stopping her from leaving. “That’s not true, Rachel.”
He dropped her wrist and cupped Rachel’s tiny face in his hands, “I care about you.” His lips pressed firmly against hers and his arm pulled her waist closer to him. When he released her from his grasp Rachel felt weaker than before.
“I will always care,” he half-whispered, his green eyes searching hers for some kind of validation.
Rachel shook her head back and forth. “Kelly.”
Kelly smirked and stepped back, giving her room to pass, “It’s alright, Rachel. I get it.”
Rachel bit her lip but couldn’t find the words to express herself. She never could. It was the curse of the too knowledgeable; they knew everything except what they needed. She looked down at the ground and took a deep breath in, pushing passed Kelly.
Rachel walked out of the library as fast as she could, hoping that he wouldn’t follow her. Wishing that he would.
Charleston, West Virginia
June 16th, 2010
Rachel
Rachel had opted not to say the words herself. She just handed the box to Ethan and walked away, hoping that they would come to their own
conclusions in their own time.
She knew she was damning them with such evidence, but someone had to carry on if she failed and they had to know what they were up against. She just hoped that Kelly still had his gun.
For hours Rachel sat in her hotel room by herself, waiting for anything to happen. She didn’t work on her speech for Melody’s memorial, she didn’t sleep even though her whole body was screaming for rest. She just sat there. Waiting. Hoping that something would happen. It was around seven in the morning when she awoke, cramped and sore from falling asleep on the floor.
She rubbed her face and looked around, trying to figure out just why no one had bothered to call her the night before. It couldn’t have taken them that long to go over the box. Could it?
Rachel was roused from her sitting position on the floor when her phone rang by her side. She looked at the screen, an unknown number, interesting.
Rachel let it ring a few more times before she answered it. “Hello?”
“Rachel?” A male’s voice sounded out over the speaker, “This is Ryan. Ryan Prescott.”
Rachel was taken aback. Out of all the people she had expected to call her, Ryan was the lowest on the list, ranked right there next to her mother or her father.
“Hi.” Rachel tried to sound less than surprised, but her tone still held a certain amount of shock to it.
“Hey.” She could tell that Ryan was smiling. She had always been able to tell when he smiled.
“I uh, wanted to see you before the memorial.” Ryan was trying to sound nonchalant but she could hear the nerves in his voice.
Rachel looked around her empty hotel room and her stomach rumbled out a complaint. “Do you want to meet for breakfast?”
She had no reason to avoid Ryan. Ryan had always been good to her, no matter who his friends were and truth be told, on some level she missed Ryan. Whatever that meant.
“Breakfast sounds great,” Ryan replied, “Do you want to meet somewhere in say an hour?”
“Is that little cafe still open? The one that was right next to Phillips?” Rachel asked, thinking of the small coffee house that seemed to make the best coffee in the world.
“Fresh Grounds? Yeah, I think so.” Ryan answered.
“Yeah, I’ll meet you there in an hour.” Rachel hung up the phone before Ryan could say anything more. She knew that the others would have a problem with her going anywhere alone, especially after everything that she had given them, but she just had to know. Was Ryan really as bad as Jefferson?
Rachel showered and got dressed. She slipped out of the hotel without making a sound and found herself at Fresh Grounds with a little time to spare.
Fresh Grounds was one of those places that the townies always seemed to flock to because it was so close to Phillips, cool by association. Rachel remembered going there on several occasions to sit at one of their back tables and drink a latte while she did her school work.
Fond memories now began to mix with her pending anxiety and all she could do was swallow as she breathed in the warm smell of percolating coffee.
She took the time to order a large something or other and tried to steady the beating of her nervous heart. It had been so long since she had really spoken to Ryan. So long since she really sat down and thought about everything that had happened between the two of them.
Kelly aside, Rachel had to admit a part of her had feelings for Ryan. Pleasant feelings that a person doesn’t easily push away.
She didn’t feel the pull towards him, the need to stand next to him like she felt for Kelly, but she felt a certain amount of… joy whenever she talked to him.
He was a simple man, which was good in a time of turmoil and struggle. He seemed aware of the conflict between Kelly and Jefferson, but removed from it, like it didn’t really matter to him either way. And maybe it didn’t. Maybe that was the path that Rachel was supposed to choose.
Aware but above.
Knowing but removed.
Indifferent.
Rachel sat at a back table that gave her clear sight to the door and she waited for Ryan to arrive.
There was something beautiful about the way he opened the door and stepped inside, as if the whole world paused and held its collective breath while he took the time to push his bangs out of his face.
Then he was smiling at her, moving towards her and telling the entire room with his face that he was here to see her.
Rachel smiled back at him, she couldn’t help herself; it was Ryan Prescott. It was her perfect match.
“Well, hello there, stranger.” Ryan took a seat opposite her, still smiling, still looking just as charming as the first day she had seen him.
“Hey there yourself.” Rachel smirked, “How’s life treating you?”
Ryan’s face fluctuated between dark and amused, “Under the circumstances, not entirely the best, but better.”
“Mm.” Rachel took a sip of her coffee, “Unfortunate reasons to be back here.”
Ryan shrugged, “But here we are.”
“Here we are.” Rachel bit the inside of her cheek and looked away, trying to think of the next words to say. She knew she had more to say to Ryan. She had an agenda after all, but the words wouldn’t come. Like always, her mouth was failing her.
“If you want to know, I haven’t talked to Jefferson in ages.” Ryan was unusually perceptive.
Rachel lifted her eyebrows, “I thought you two were inseparable?”
Ryan shrugged, “After Melody went missing, Jefferson changed. Stopped talking to people. Spent more time with… a different crowd.”
“Casimir?” Rachel asked, unafraid of the repercussions in bringing up his name in public. In public she was safe. Alone, in the dark was a different thing entirely.
Ryan shrugged again. “Maybe, I guess. I tried not to follow.”
Rachel nodded, understanding. Ryan was a victim, like Kelly. Only, he had learned where Kelly had not. He had stopped digging and protected himself where Kelly had kept going. Kept pushing until he knew all the secrets. Until he built the boat that Rachel found herself in.
Maybe Ryan really was just trying to protect her in his own way. Maybe that’s why he seemed so determined to see her leave.
Ryan sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I wish I could go back in time and do things different.”
“Like what?” Rachel was genuinely curious of his answer. What in the world would Ryan Prescott change?
“I wouldn’t have let you leave.” Ryan was looking at her with an odd expression. Was that regret? He hadn’t been the world’s best boyfriend and he didn’t seem all that broken up when they finally ended things. Or when he finally ended things. Did he regret that with Rachel?
It was Rachel’s turn to shrug, what was done, was done. There was no changing it. “It is what it is.” She sighed and took another sip of coffee.
“I keep thinking back to those days right before things went to shit on us and I really think we had something special.” Ryan was nodding like he was only stating something logical instead of picking at old emotional wounds.
“We had a good time.” Rachel smiled at him. “That’s something.”
Ryan laughed, “Yeah, that’s something.”
“I wouldn’t be too worried about it, Ryan.” Rachel reassured him. “It’s in the past now.”
“But.” Ryan paused, “What if I don’t want it to be in the past?”
Rachel was taken aback but tried not to look stunned. She thought about his words, tasted them, felt them in her mind. What was he trying to get out?
“What if I told you, Rachel Gunn, that I still felt something for you?” Ryan pressed the issue before Rachel could respond.
Rachel felt herself frown and she licked her lips. She had always almost carried a torch for Ryan Prescott, even years after everything was over, but did she really reciprocate the feelings he had? And what were those feelings exactly? Because it wasn’t like she could ever be with him. It wasn’t as if things could be normal bet
ween them. They were always just a mysterious 'what if' in her mind. A possibility without being an actual possibility.
He was gorgeous, but that’s all she really felt about him.
“Ryan.” Rachel thought of her words before she said them, knowing he would take them differently than how she meant them. “I’m with Kelly.”
Rachel meant it in the sense of she was on Kelly’s side. She would stand by him no matter what. It was the choice she had made two years ago and it was the choice she was making now.
“I see.” Ryan nodded, taken aback by Rachel’s confession. He of course, did not take it the way Rachel meant it. He assumed she was in a relationship with Kelly. But then again, that was what Rachel wanted him to believe. Dangerous games.
“I’m sorry, Ryan, but I think the time for you and I is over.” Rachel scratched the side of her face and checked her phone. Three missed calls from Ethan. Time to go back to the hotel.
Ryan gave her a smile that let her know he was going to be alright. “Don’t worry about it, Rach, I think I’ll get over it.”
Rachel smiled and stood, “I think my brother is getting worried about me. I better get going.”
Ryan stood with her, “Yeah, not much else to say after you’ve been shot down.” He laughed quietly. “Never thought Kelly had it in him. Not after what happened with Melody.”
Rachel tried not to bristle at the comment. Melody’s relationship with Kelly was an area that she had decided not to touch, and for good reason. It had ended badly and things were still messy. She didn’t need to know what had happened and she didn’t want to know.
“Well. You know what they say, time heals all things.” Rachel forced a smile and started heading for the door with Ryan.
Ryan opened the door for Rachel, “I just thought it would have taken longer is all.”
“See ya around, Ryan.” Rachel stepped out into the sunlight, changing the conversation.
