by Hunter Blain
“Good, man. Living the life.” He turned his attention to me and said, “Just trying to make sure this one doesn’t do anything stupid and kill everything in existence.”
As he spoke, a calm washed over me, starting at the top of my head. It felt like a blanket enveloping me, stilling my agitated nerves. I felt…peaceful. I didn’t feel the giggles come on like TV would have you believe. Instead I felt, prepared. I knew I had to save my friends while preventing the end times.
“John,” Gabe said, stepping in front of me after passing the faerie joint back to Richard. “You are free to make any decision you want in the Universe. It’s the consequences you can’t avoid. Remember that.”
It all came together then. Lily trying to protect me from myself while still providing me the freedom to choose. Gabriel showing up to warn me of the consequences of my actions. The fate of the world and every soul that has ever existed throughout all of time was counting on me. In this moment of clarity, I became aware that I was my own biggest enemy, and not even PS. PS was me. My anger had been a constant veil that blurred my path, which only served to infuriate me further. It was a vicious cycle that I knew I could end when I really wanted to. The truth was it felt good to give in to my pride and hurt those who hurt me to the point where I would cut off my nose to spite my face.
This was bigger than me and my petty problems. Ulric waited for me and I knew I had to face him. Now that my mind was still, something nagged at me— something Lily had said.
“That’s it!” I said excitedly as I turned to face the angel, Gabriel. “I know what I have to do.”
“Excellent,” Gabriel said with a smile as I turned to go face Ulric. “One thing before you go.”
“What?” I asked.
“A test, mostly for my own curiosity. I’ve seen what you can do to angels and creatures from this plane and others,” he said as a flaming sword manifested in his hand. The light shown bright, almost blinding to the point where I shielded my eyes. “Sorry about that,” he said as the flames dimmed to a low but constant flicker across the gladius. “Here,” he said as he turned the weapon over, holding the hilt out to me. I took note that the heaven-fire did not burn him where it touched his body. I looked at him with a shocked expression, which he found humorous. “It’s just a weapon, like many others you have held in your hands. Now, try and take it, for my own intrigue.”
I did as instructed and grabbed the hilt of the blade. As soon as I lifted the sword from Gabriel’s grasp, the flame went out after contact was broken.
I looked at the blade, confusion evident on my face as Gabriel said, “Oh well. It was worth a shot. I owe one of my brothers five dollars now.” As he finished, he reached out and took the blade back, which immediately vanished.
“What did you think was going to happen?” I asked Gabriel.
“I don’t really know. That’s why I wanted to see. Besides, it might be the last time we get to try.”
“No, it won’t,” I said as I turned once again to face Ulric. As I leaped through the forest, I called over my shoulder, “Thank you for the enlightenment, Richard. I will come back to see you again!”
“Peace, man!” I heard the treant call back.
“Consequences,” was whispered into my ears by the wind, though it sounded suspiciously like this angel I happened to know.
In short order, I arrived at Ulric’s lame, above ground fortress. Depweg, Joey, and Dawson were there, standing stark naked on a handmade wooden bench with their hands tied behind their backs. Around their necks were silver chords that formed a noose and rose into the branches of a tree above. I followed the ends to see that they were anchored around the trunk of a tree. I didn’t think the silver was used to actually hang the werewolves, but to prevent them from shifting to their wer forms. They would die if hung by the neck in their man suits.
“Jesus Christ John. Where have you been? He’s had us standing here since dusk,” Depweg said.
“Hang in there guys. I got this.” At that, all three let out a moan of annoyed frustration at the joke.
“Welcome to the end, John,” Ulric said as he stepped from the shadows and into the light cast down from the spotlights around his stolen home.
“Which end?” I asked, probing how much he knew. Maybe if he knew the true impact of what was to come, he would rethink his actions.
“Yours, child,” Ulric said coldly.
“Well come on then,” I said flatly, showing no emotion. My hands were steady as they hung by my side.
“Gladly,” Ulric said, raising his hands to either side of his body. Nothing happened at first, and then a rumble sounded in the distance. There were thuds of impact that sounded like they should have been in a particular Stephen Spielberg franchise.
From the tree line burst a giant, obsidian armor clad demon with glowing red eyes that wafted fumes from his sockets and over a horned helmet. Lilith, he was over 15 feet tall and dragged a sword behind him that was just as long as he was tall. It was jagged, being made from obsidian and forged in the forges of Hell. I was quite confident that it was also infused with hellfire.
My confidence began to wane as two more broke through the tree line on either side. One of his brothers hefted a double-sided ax with blades the size of a car hood while the other carried an enormous mace with spikes all over it.
Normally I would lose control over my faculties and make a little teetee or even poopoo, but the fate of the world was resting on my shoulders. It was time to man up and face my destiny head-on. In addition, what Richard gave me and Gabriel convinced me to imbibe, really steadied my nerves and kept my mind focused.
I didn’t wait to react like I normally would. I rushed the demons, pulling out a blood-gladius in one hand and a circular shield in the other. For shits and giggles, I put Captain America’s emblem in the middle, which surprisingly gave me more confidence. Good thing I looked exactly like Chris Evans too. Well, truthfully it was more like Chris Hemsworth in Avengers: Endgame.
The demons were surprised at my charge, as was Ulric who stood, shocked. All three demons quickly regained their composure and charged in a V pattern for a tactical advantage. The mace-wielding demon lifted his weapon high to attack and I threw my shield at his throat while keeping a fishing line width of blood attached. This helped with both retrieval and for maintaining the connection. As it smashed home, the demon dropped his hands and clutched at his throat, dropping the mace behind him. I willed my shield back to me by reeling in the line as I thrust my blade at the chest of the surprised beast. My sword bounced off his obsidian armor, throwing me in a spin to my right. I went with the momentum, allowing the blade to be swallowed by my hand as I reached for the mace at the completion of my turn. I hefted it, admiring its weight, as the ax-wielding demon swung down. I risked pouring a lot of energy into the shield and held it up at an angle. I knew if he made a direct hit with his hellfire infused weapon that I would lose the energy in the shield and my arm, as he would surely slice through, probably right through me completely. My plan worked as the blade ricocheted off the shield and embedded into the ground with a resounding thud that was felt as much as heard. I used the opportunity to swing the mace down on his helmeted head with the force of Valhalla. As he looked up at me in wide-eyed rage, the mace made contact and took the demon to the ground with ease, obsidian spikes piercing both the helmet and his brain. The giant corpse collapsed on the ground, unmoving.
A sword connected at my mace-wielding wrist, severing my hand. I was astonished at how numbly I reacted to the pain before backhanding the sword beast in the face with my impossibly hard shield. His head whipped back in surprise and pain as hellion bloodshot from his broken nose and torn lips. Shattered teeth sprinkled to the ground in a way that reminded me of fish food over a tank for some reason.
A large pair of hands reached around my chest and pulled me in for a bear hug. I dropped the shield and stuck my hand under the arms of the mace demon before he fully took hold. He grabbed each of his forear
ms across my chest as my back met his armored torso. I took in a huge, deep breath before he began squeezing and did my best to keep my chest expanded; but this sonofabitch was strong and I could feel my lungs about to burst like balloons under the pressure. The monster grunted with effort as he began to make headway, air escaping through my clenched teeth with each second that passed. This allowed the sword demon with the pretty face time to regain his senses after I bashed the front of his skull in. He picked up his blade and positioned himself to ram it into me, smiling— at least I think he was. His grin resembled a dilapidated graveyard with neglected tombstones crumbling to pieces.
An idea struck as I remembered in a flash what Lily had forced me to do in the ally. I focused on my hand sandwiched between his crushing arms and my chest. Concentrating, I began to fill my fingers and palm with blood. I could feel him struggling to hold on as his grip weakened, my hand becoming the size of a softball, then a bowling ball. It hurt. Not only because of the expanding hand that felt like it was about to explode and had to keep healing so it wouldn’t rupture; but also because my ribs were beginning to crack and cave inward.
As the sword demon stepped forward and thrust his blade at my chest, I sucked all the blood from my hand in a fraction of a second while emptying my lungs in a rush, momentarily creating room between his bear hug and my broken chest. I slipped down towards the ground as the blade stabbed and cut through the top of my shoulder on my traps. As intended, the mace demon got the full brunt of the attack. The sword baddy crashed into his brother and they tumbled to the ground, both screaming but for vastly different reasons.
I tried to will my wound close in the brief reprieve, but the hellfire prevented that for now. I had precious seconds before the battle was to continue, so I focused on growing my other hand back. Only one itsy-bitsy problem; it was also burned by the stupid head hellfire. I lifted my stump hand into the air while yanking my shield back into my good hand, willing the edges to become razor sharp. My eyes shot to the stump above my wrist and I mechanically lifted my shield arm at the elbow and brought it down above the hellfire burned flesh, allowing non-tainted flesh to regrow my favorite hand. The remaining demon began picking himself up after he overextended his attack and fell on top of his now very dead brother. Extremely dead, even.
Taking advantage of my remaining time, I used my new sandwich holder to form a small hook and blood-thread and quickly moved to stitched one section of flesh to the other. I cinched the wound closed to prevent further blood loss. A quick rotation showed me I still had control over my chest and arm, but with limited range of motion above my head. My fingers grazed over my skin, when I realized that I was directly touching my skin.
“My fucking coat!” I yelled out in anger, only to realize that I didn’t have it on. “Oh right— my fucking hoodie!”
I turned, willing a blood-whip out of each of my hands and threw them around the remaining demons throat as he fully stood up to face me. I sent razers down the lengths before willing the two ropes into one that connected at my hands, and began sawing his head off. Still holding the shield, I pulled one arm back while the other shifted forwards, and then reversed the motion. He bellowed in rage and fear as the razers cut through flesh and veins before inching their way to his vertebrae. His hands were shredded while his base instinct to survive overrode the pain as his fingers were sheared off. His arms dropped to his side as the razers finished sawing through bone and his head toppled to the ground, black blood erupted like a demonic volcano.
I stood, watching the bodies with a sense of pride and satisfaction, waiting for them to melt into ectoplasm. My ribs started popping back into place as my sternum healed itself, filling the cave-in that was my chest. Once completed, my head tilted and an eyebrow went up when the three bodies lying in front of me began shuddering and convulsing.
“Um…what?” I said out loud as the three demons started rolling and crawling to one another like jerky puppets on invisible strings. As they came together, their armors were popped off, allowing for more flesh on flesh contact as their eyes began to blaze to life again. The three melted into one another; the ax demon with the mace still in his head forming the bottom portion with his arms and legs acting as four feet for the forming monstrosity. The headless demon was in the middle, his arms and legs melting into the back of his brother while the mace demon climbed onto the topmost, his legs merging into just as his brother had done. The beast before me had four arms and four legs and stood over thirty feet high. It bent over, picking up the decapitated head, and placed it on its shoulders right next to his brother. The heads merged, their touching eyes forming into one larger, glowing orb while the jaws also came together to make one giant, fanged mouth. It smiled at me with its three eyes and enormous maw.
“I don’t have time for this,” I said as I willed the blood-saws into one hand until just enough stayed out to form a spartan spear. I positioned one foot behind me and crouched with my lead leg as I set the weapon on top of my shield and aimed.
The horrifying monster in front of me bellowed a roar that shook the ground beneath my feet and covered me in warm strands of saliva. I screamed back at it as it began to charge.
I created a notch in the shield where the spear touched it, allowing it to sink just enough to act as a guide. Aiming with my shield arm, I let the beast approach before attacking. I didn’t thrust the spear like any enemy would. Instead, I willed more of my blood and elongated it in the blink of an eye until the beast’s middle eye was punctured. This only pissed the monster off as he grabbed me with his four arms and lifted me up, positioning each of its hands to grab a limb. Realizing my predicament while my mind raced to formulate a plan, I pulled my blood-weapons back into me— confident I was going to need every drop.
The deformed hellion began pulling my limbs in different directions as its massive jaws began taking chunks out of my exposed stomach just below my armor. Ribs were crunched like sticks of celery while intestines were slurped like spaghetti. I refused to scream as my mind tried to focus through the pain, desperately trying to figure a way out of this. My friends were counting on me, just as the rest of the world was.
My head cleared at this thought. This wasn’t about me, but the fate of everyone that has ever lived up to this point.
Blood oozed down my legs and I focused on the gaping wounds. My limbs began to tear and I quickly forced my blood to flow from them and into my chest. My arm was ripped off along with one of my legs, sending agony through every nerve in my body. I didn’t let it stop my unstoppable train of focus. The blood gushing from my stomach began to waver and stopped its descent as a pained smile crested my face.
The demon took notice that something was happening and paused briefly enough for me to say, “Fuck you,” before sending greedy tendrils of blood shooting out from my gaping wound. They grabbed the beasts upper and lower jaws like an octopus, prying them open as more blood slithered its way down the fucker’s throat and into its center mass. I sent enough where I could feel my face begin to become sunken at the cheeks— it was an odd feeling being aware of each individual tooth touching the inside of my cheek as if my skin were made of cellophane.
Once enough blood was sent in to fill its cavernous stomach, I weakly willed the manifestation sent jagged spikes out in all direction, piercing every important, blood-soaked organ in the massive body.
I siphoned the huge monstrosity’s blood to flow through my torso manifestation and into my body, refilling my reserves. The blood felt like sludge in my veins, but I didn’t have a choice. I needed to filter the energy and repair the damage that had been done. I kept sucking as the beasts two remaining eyes began to flicker out as its body started to turn translucent and melt into ectoplasm. Once the blood was no longer tangible, I pulled my tentacles back into my chest, willing the gaping wound to close. I feel through the amalgamations weakening grasp and fell to the ground while ribs grew around my exposed organs and blackened skin grew. Staring at the stars while on my back, I st
uck out my nubs as black sludge grew from my body until it grasped the fallen limbs, pulling them back to me and reconnecting where they had been torn. Those too turned black where the blood healed my body. I was vaguely aware that my cheeks weren’t wrapped around my teeth anymore.
“Gross!” I cried out as I realized the tainted blood had stained my healed skin. Once the limbs were back in place, I bent over and hurled up the filtered demon blood. Black oil exploded from my mouth and out of my nose, coating the grass in front of me in vile that immediately turned the grass brown— decaying it in an instant. It was like a year’s worth of dog pee all at once on the grass you spent several thousand dollars on because the salesmen said it would survive your puppies peeing in the same damn spot. Liar.
I posted myself up on my arms and legs as I watched the rest of my enemy melt into ectoplasm before it evaporated into nothing. The monster had enough blood-energy to get me back to normal, but man was it disgusting. I was going to have heartburn for sure.
My beard was dyed black where the toxic waste touched, which meant that smell was not going to leave anytime soon. Being right under my nostrils, it reminded me of a mountain of tires that was coated in cat piss and then set on fire. I was still hunched over, spitting intermittently in a futile attempt to get the last remains of demon blood out of my mouth. I covered one nostril and blew out black chunks of snot and hell-slime before doing the same to the other.
I looked up to see Ulric who proceeded to golf clap in his arrogant way as he walked to inspect the plank that was holding my friends. His message was clear.
“Give yourself up and I will make your death a swift one, John,” Ulric said. Confidence exuded off him. It felt like he sprayed an entire can of Axe body spray on him to the point where even cocky frat boys in salmon-colored shorts and Sperry’s would wrinkle their noses in disgust.
