“Yeah, I’ve heard you,” I grit.
“Look at the picture, Mr. McCoy. Those two children were not placed for adoption.”
“Why the fuck do you keep asking me to look at the goddamn pictures? I don’t want to look at the God forsaken pictures.”
“Tylan–” Jenni warns.
I snap my head in her direction. “Don’t you start with me.”
“Stop being such an ass!” She raises her voice as she slaps her hand on the papers in my lap. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard her cuss. The corner of my mouth pulls into a smile. “You’re making this harder than it has to be.”
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. When I open them, I feel a punch to my gut.
“There,” I hear Maggie’s voice. “As you can see, Mr. McCoy, Betsy had a boy. His name is Tylan Ryder McCoy, and he’s eleven year’s old. He currently goes by Ryder. The second child, a girl, Roxy Sunshine McCoy, is six almost seven years of age. They are your nephew and niece.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. These two kids could pass for my sister and me at that age. The only difference is coloring. They’re both a light tan with dark hair and matching deep brown eyes. Tearing my eyes from the pictures, I ask the obvious question.
“Where’s their father?”
“There isn’t one listed on either of their birth certificates. You’re their only known family. You’re all they have.”
Lick, age 11
“When I have kids, won’t you be excited to be their uncle?”
Betsy’s sitting at the head of my bed while I’m at the foot, reading a textbook, trying to make sense of the words on the pages. My grades are slipping. My dad tried to help me, but he’s also busy working. I don’t want to burden him when he already has so much on his plate.
“I don’t know, Bets. Why you worrying about that stuff right now?”
“I just wanna know.”
I turn my head to look at her. She’s twirling the ends of her hair around her finger, watching me, waiting for my answer. I drop the book with a thud as it hits the floor. “So what, I’d be their uncle. I don’t see how that’s exciting.”
“How can you say it wouldn’t be exciting? I can’t wait to be an aunt to your kids!”
Shaking my head, I give her a smile. “No, Bets, I’ll never be having kids.”
“Well, that’s no fun. Why don’t you want to be a daddy?”
“There’s nothing I want that has anything to do with kids. They’re just a bunch of brats, and I’ve got plans.” Those plans include not being my parents, and not being stuck with a woman whose only job is to suck the life from you. I love my father, and he’s the best I know in a lot of ways, but he’s also the dumbest man I know.
“Well, I wanna be an aunt, so you gotta, Tylan.”
I pick the book off the floor and flip through, trying to find where I stopped reading. “Sorry, kid, but that’s not happening.”
“Well, I’m gonna make you an uncle because I’m gonna have lots of kids. And I’m going to be the best mom.”
Seven years old and she already has her mind set on what she wants. “I know you will, Bets. I don’t doubt that.”
“Will you be a good uncle to my kids, Tylan? Will you buy them presents, and play ball with them and teach them how to build things just like you like to do with Dad?”
She talks about my father with so much love but rarely does she speak of our mother. Even at a young age, she sees things, knows things, and I hope she sees enough that she will never want to follow in our mother’s footsteps.
I laugh. “I don’t really like kids.”
“But you like me, right?”
“Yeah, I like you. You’re my sister, my family. I love you, Sunny.”
She giggles. “Well, that’s good because they will be my kids, your family so you’ll love them just like you love me.”
I close the book again. Turning around I look at my sister. “You’re right, Bets, and I’ll never stop.”
We follow Mrs. Simons back to the Social Services office where Lick’s niece and nephew wait. We’re not sure what’s going to happen, but the first thing we must do is tell these kids that their mother is gone. The neighbors didn’t know what had happened to Betsy, so they ended up taking the kids down to the police station three days after she dropped them off.
My eyes jump from the road to Lick, then back to the road. I stay silent, not knowing what to say. He’s staring out the windshield, his face flanked with so much emotion, so much indecision, that I finally break my silence.
“What’s on your mind?” I ask with caution.
“I don’t see how me meeting those kids is any good for them.”
I glance over at him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m no good for them.”
“You’re their uncle–”
“That really don’t mean shit.”
“Yes, it does. It means everything. You’re their family. The only one they have at this point.”
“Having me as their family doesn’t do them any good. I’m not the one they should be coming to. Me and those kids ain’t gonna mix, that’s the simple truth. They’re better off not knowing me or the history that is their family.”
“You don’t know that. Besides, we’re just going to meet them. That’s all it is at this point.”
“It still isn’t right. I’m not the best thing for those kids. I tried to be a protector once before in my life and look how that turned out.”
“Tylan, you’re probably the only thing that’s good for those kids, especially knowing what they’ve been through—more importantly not knowing what they’ve been through.”
His lips form a thin line. He rubs the finger and thumb over his creased forehead before dropping his head back against the head rest. Letting out a deep breath, he confirms the rumors that I’ve heard since I came to Devil’s Fury.
“I’m going to tell you something I’ve only told one other person. I need you to understand some things about me.” He stops talking, so I glance over, only to see him with his eyes pinched tight.
“When I was twelve years old, my bitch of a mother allowed one of her junkie friends to molest me. If you can imagine it, it’s probably happened to me. For years, I paid for things my mother thought she couldn’t live without. It’s her fault I am the way I am. She allowed so many to take from me.”
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” I say under my breath. I have no idea how to respond to that. I’ve heard the girls talk, but I didn’t believe them. Not a one. “I–I haven’t heard anything like that.” I try to calm his uneasiness.
“I figured you hadn’t since the only person who knows is Cut, and I trust that fucker with my life. I knew the moment I let the information of my past slip that it would be safe with him.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, not knowing what else to add.
“Jesus.” He rubs his hand down his face. “I did not want to ever have this conversation with you. This shit, it’s in my past where I like to keep it.”
“You need to know that I would never divulge your secrets. They’re yours to keep and yours to reveal. I’d never break your trust like that.”
“It’s still shit you shouldn’t have to deal with.”
“I understand that.” And I did. I understood how hard all this was for him.
With another deep breath, he continues. “From that night, having felt what I did as a child, I made a promise that I would never allow that to happen to my sister. For three years, I had bitch after bitch and dick after dick take from me.” He turns his head towards me “Do you know what it’s fucking like to have something taken from you over and over again and you have no control?”
Did I? Was my lack of freedom of choice growing up comparable to what he went through? “No,” I answer.
“Do you know how it feels for a fifteen-year-old boy not to understand why his body physically reacts to something his mind can’t comprehend?” Unable to speak I just shake my head. �
�Fuck, this is some fucked up shit,” he says under his breath. “Do you know how humiliating it is?”
With tears streaming down my face, I answer again, “No.”
His gaze drifts back out the window. “So many nightmares live within my mind. So many demons I’d never want you to experience. Let alone those kids.”
“Don’t waste your energy worrying about things that will never happen. Those kids will be fine. With the right direction, they’ll be fine.”
“And how do you figure, Sugar Tits?”
“Because behind the crude, silver-tongued biker is a man who has a heart so scarred and damaged, so utterly broken, that the only thing now is to help it heal. I think those kids are the answer.”
“I don’t think that’s possible. I think I’m beyond fixing. Beyond saving.” He flicks his thumbnail between his bottom teeth, still deep in thought. “I came from such a fucked-up life. You really have no idea the hell I come from, and I endured it all because I didn’t want my sister to feel the same agony that I had felt. I couldn’t imagine those sick fucks touching her. She wouldn’t have been able to survive it, so I survived it for the both of us. And for what?” He chuckles to himself. “For her to do the same shit that our mother did.”
“She was sick, Tylan. Addiction’s a disease.”
“Addiction is a fucking excuse. I’ve lived with addiction my whole fucking life, and you don’t see me shoving that shit up my arm. I’m not a coked-out junkie. Betsy shouldn’t have started that shit in the first place. She took the coward’s way out, like our bitch of a mother did. She was a selfish cunt just like the whore who raised her.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I don’t? You don’t fucking know. You don’t know what eats away at me at night. What’s in here!” He takes the heel of his palm and slams it into the side of this head.
“Is that why you are the way you are?”
He laughs. “And how the fuck am I?”
“You have no respect for women.” There, I said it. I said what I’ve thought since the moment I walked up to the clubhouse and he’d started in on me.
“Most women don’t deserve respect.”
I swallow down my emotions.
“Don’t worry. I’m still on the fence with you.”
“On the fence? That’s funny.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, I think. You’re on the fence as to whether or not I deserve your respect.” I shake my head. “Yet you prove to me just how much you respect me when you call me all those God-awful names.”
“They’re my names for you.”
“I have a name, Tylan.”
“I know you do, Jenni.” Honest to goodness that’s the first time my name has fallen from his lips. “And so does everyone else. But here’s the thing, Sweet Tits, those God-awful names you seem to detest so much are my names, mine and no one else’s. No one can take that away from me.” I see him slouch down into the seat next to me, crossing his arms, leaning his head along the headrest. His eyes close.
I quickly decide to change the subject. “What did you decide to do with your sister’s body?” I glance at him and then back to the road.
“Not a damn thing.”
“You can’t do that.”
He turns his face to mine. “You bet your sweet ass I can, and I fucking did. Sister or not, she made her bed, and she can fucking lie in it for eternity. Ain’t no skin off my back.”
“What about her kids? Where will they go to mourn her when they’re older? You’re just going to take that away from them. Let her be burned and placed in some cold container under a number. That’s how you’re going to allow her soul to rest?”
Sitting up, he leans towards me. “Really? You’re gonna try to pull that shit with me? Don’t you try to fucking guilt me over this. You’re concerned about some kids you don’t even know?”
“They’re innocent, Tylan. I’m sorry to say this, but they don’t deserve to be treated that way. They deserve to know where their mother is so they can choose to visit her when they’re older.”
“Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit right there. The day she decided to taint her veins with that poison is the day she lost me as a brother. I don’t owe her or those kids anything.”
“You’re still their uncle, Tylan, and they still need you.”
“They don’t fucking know me, sweetness, let alone need me. After tonight, they won’t remember what the fuck I look like.”
When Lick swings the metal, door open to the building, Maggie’s standing there, waiting. “There you two are. I thought you might have changed your minds.”
“Did you give us a choice?” Lick snaps.
“Oh, Mr. McCoy, we both know we always have choices. Good or bad, they’re ours to make.” She gives him a wink before turning on her heel. Over her shoulder, she continues to talk as we follow her deeper into the building. “Please remember that children are fragile by nature. They may be timid, shy, especially Roxy being as young as she is. Ryder, poor boy, seems to be having a rough go of it. Very moody, that one, but now I see it may run in the family.”
Her comments make me smile. Lick, on the other hand, only deepens the frown he’s had plastered on his face since he got out of my car.
“I’m sure everything will go fine,” I reassure her.
She stops at a wooden door. I can hear a little girl’s laughter coming from inside the room next door. If that’s Roxy, my heart sinks knowing that by the time we leave, her laughter may turn into cries of heartbreak.
“Remember, please keep in mind what these kids have been through.” Maggie nods before pushing through the door, allowing us to enter first. “Please take a seat. I’ll bring the kids in.”
We both take a seat in silence. The sound of muffled voices coming from next door is almost drowned out by the tick of the clock on the wall.
“You’ve got this,” I tell Lick.
“Do I? I mean com–”
“Uncle Tylan!” Roxy screams as she and her older brother enter the room. I guess Lick was wrong when he thought these kids wouldn’t know who the heck he was. “Oh, I’ve been waiting for forever to meet you. My whole life Momma said we would meet you, and I hoped and hoped and hoped, but I never thought it would happen.”
Ryder’s quiet, observing his sister as she throws herself into her sitting uncle’s lap. She wraps her little arms around the girth of his neck. She seems to be holding on for dear life. Right away Lick stiffens. His arms don’t reach around to comfort her small frame, and his eyes plead with me to help him.
I take a step towards them and rub my hand up and down her tiny back. Her head swings to me and her eyes light up then a smile spreads across her face. She reaches and rubs my hair between her little fingers. “You’re pretty. I like your hair. It’s wild and soft at the same time.” She turns herself from Lick’s lap and stands to face me while I’m on my knees, looking at her eye to eye.
“I’m Jenni.” I give her a small smile.
She bites her bottom lip and glances behind me. I can see the reflection of her brother in the softness of her eyes. “Did you hear that, Ryder? Her name’s Jenni.”
I turn to peer behind me, and I’m met with a blank faced, angry eleven-year-old. It’s like I’m looking at Lick at the age of eleven.
“Kids,” Maggie calls their attention. I stand and immediately feel the gentleness of Roxy’s delicate hand slide into mine. The act tugs at my heart. She wants and needs human contact; she seems to be starving for it. What have these kids been through?
“If you’d please take a seat,” Maggie instructs them, gesturing to the love seat next to the couch where Lick is sitting. Roxy won’t let go of my hand. She peers up at me with fear in her eyes.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Go and sit,” I tell her, placing my hands on her shoulders to direct her to sit next to her brother who has already flopped down on the cushions.
“Ryder, Roxy, as I’m sure you now know, this is your Uncle Tylan.
He’s your mother’s brother.”
“We know,” Roxy says as she swings her legs up and down in front of her. “Momma showed us a picture of him all the time.”
“She mostly cried when she did,” Ryder announces.
“It’s cuz she missed him, Ryder,” Roxy defends.
“And why do you think that is, Rox?”
Wow, he’s angry. The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, that’s for sure.
“Ryder,” Maggie warns, “that’s enough.” The jerk of his head tells me he understands. “All right, you two. I’m going to give you guys some time to talk with your uncle. I know it’s late.” I glance at the clock and see that it’s already nine thirty at night. “They know to expect you upstairs once you’re done. Shaun’s outside to escort you when you’re finished with your visit.”
“We can’t go home now?” Roxy’s voice is wobbly, her eyes start to rim red. She’s getting upset.
“No yet, little one,” Maggie answers.
“Why?”
“Why do you think?” Ryder butts in. “Mom’s not there!”
Roxy’s little lip starts to quiver then she throws her face into the palms of her hands and starts to sob. When I get up to comfort her, Lick gives me his trademark scowl warning me not to move. My eyes dart between the warning look and the sobbing cries of a little girl. There’s no question as to who I’m going to bend to so I get up and gather a crying girl into my arms replacing my bottom in the seat she was just in holding her on my lap.
Ignoring the emotional little girl, Maggie continues, “Remember, when you’re done here, allow Shaun to walk you upstairs to get you settled. Mr. McCoy, once the children are with Shaun, you and I will need to talk so we can get on the same page. Please don’t go anywhere.”
Once the door closes behind Maggie, Roxy lifts her head from the crook of my neck. She peers up at me with wet sticky lashes and rosy pink cheeks. Placing her little hands on my face, she softly asks, “Where’s my momma, Jenni?”
“Your mother’s dead,” Lick says. His voice is like lead, hard and cold. It hits me, and the kids without warning. Roxy flinches while I feel Ryder tense beside me. “She overdosed on drugs, and she’s dead.”
Lick: Devil's Fury Book 2 Page 7
