She continued putting the groceries away and only hesitated when she heard the chair scrape backward. She closed her eyes for a few brief seconds while waiting for the inevitable. Nothing came. She slowly turned around.
What she saw threw her into action. Her husband was clutching his chest, in obvious pain. She dismissed the idea of just letting it happen as quickly as it crossed her mind. She grabbed the phone and dialed 911. “I think my husband is having a heart attack. Please come quickly.” She verified her address and name and waited for the ambulance to arrive.
A few minutes later, she was found holding her husband’s hand talking to him in hushed tones. They wheeled him out to the ambulance and she followed closely behind in her car.
As she was sitting in the waiting room she had a serious chat with God. “Was this your doing? To keep our Laney safe? 'Cause if it was, I thank you. Oh, and Lord, I do love my husband. Sometimes I don’t like what he does so could you heal him? Both his heart and his hurtfulness? I’d appreciate it.”
Later that night, after she’d learned her husband would be having a triple bypass, she got down on her knees and thanked God properly. He sure did provide a way out when there was no way out.
Chapter Twenty
Christmas was approaching quickly and there was much to be done. First on the list were the costumes for the kids’ play at church. This was foreign territory for Laney. She had not experienced a Christmas pageant since she was a child in her parents’ church. She turned to Ella for help.
Ella smiled as the kids paraded back and forth in front of the two women. “Joy, you will make the perfect Mary.” She turned her attention to the younger two. “Matt, with that old staff I had in the basement, you’ll be the envy of all the other shepherds.”
Matt puffed up his chest and walked a little taller. “What do you think, mom?”
“I think you are fabulous. All three of you.” She hugged her kids to her. “My Mary, my shepherd and my little angel. I’m so proud of you. You are going to be the best-looking kids in the pageant.”
Not having grandkids nearby made Ella appreciate the time she got to spend with Laney’s children all the more. She did not take this time or these precious little ones for granted. She loved every minute of having them with her. “Melanie, I have just the thing for an angel as beautiful as you.” Ella went to her bathroom and came back with a clear jar with a pink lid. She took a small amount of the lotion and gently spread it on Melanie’s cheeks. Then she held up a mirror. “Look Melanie, you’re sparkling. Now you really look like an angel.”
“I’m a princess.” Everyone laughed. Everything was a princess with Melanie. Even though she’d been told over and over that this time she would be an angel, she insisted she was a pretty princess. She floated around the room in her long white dress and angel wings, twirling on her tiptoes.
Laney hated to put an end to the evening, but it was getting late and the kids needed the rest for the following night. “Alright, let’s get you out of those costumes and put them away before they get dirty or ripped. We want them to be nice for tomorrow night, don’t we?”
Matt was the first to complain. “Ah, mom, can’t we just stay dressed up a little longer?” Leave it to Matt to see the immediate future, at least as it affected his world. “Do we have to go? Ms. Ella has cookies for us.”
“I tell you what. You hurry up and get changed out of your costumes and we’ll stay long enough to have a couple of cookies. Deal?”
In answer, Melanie lifted her arms for her mother to disrobe her and both of the older kids hurriedly took their costumes off, leaving a wake of static electricity and hair that stood on end. All three kids burst out in a fit of giggles.
* * * *
The next night Laney sat quietly in the pew with her mother on one side and Ella on the other side. She had to admit, she was thankful. It was almost Christmas, as of yet, there was no sign of Paul, and she was getting to spend some quality time with her mother. Maybe God was answering her prayer. Maybe she’d have a nice Christmas with her kids without Paul doing everything possible to make sure their holiday was filled with fear and trepidation.
The lights dimmed. A slight tinkling of the piano keys filled the quiet sanctuary. The littlest angel began to dance across the stage. Laney felt her eyes fill with tears as her baby pretended to be a princess and dance on her tiptoes. They gave her precious little angel a special job, to dance before Jesus came to Earth. Melanie flitted here and there, enjoying the sparkle of her special cream glimmering underneath the lights. Laney wanted to shout, That is my baby, but instead she sat quietly, enjoying the moment. It wasn’t long before the other angels danced onto the set, taking their places above the manger scene. Melanie took some coaxing from her Sunday school teacher, but she eventually joined them.
Besides the dancing princess, it was pretty much the norm for Sunday School Christmas plays but it none the less brought tears to all three women’s eyes.
Laney watched her children and listened closely as they delivered their lines. Joy made a beautiful Mary and it gave her cause to consider what it must have been like for a young girl to have such a heavy load to carry.
She leaned close to Ella and whispered. “How old was Mary when she had Jesus?”
“Young, though not as young as Joy. I think Pastor Mark said she was around twelve or thirteen.”
Laney remained quiet for the rest of the play, but her mind was constantly running the numbers through her head. Joy would be twelve next year. She couldn’t imagine her having a child. She was way too young.
* * * *
The snow was falling softly as Ella, Barbara and Laney made their way home with the children. Ella remembered Laney’s question but knew she would address them in her own timing. She remained quiet on the short walk home, carefully watching her step. At her age, one slip could mean a long stay in a nursing home. If she were to remain alive, then she’d rather have all her faculties about her, including her ability to get around on her own two feet.
The two older children ran ahead, trying to catch snowflakes with their tongues. Melanie, the youngest, was holding her mother’s hand, dragging her feet. Her dancing must have worn her out. Barbara said goodbye and left as soon as they reached Laney’s house. She would need her rest as her husband’s surgery was scheduled for first thing in the morning. Laney was not planning on making an appearance at her father’s bedside. She hoped God was okay with that.
The kids reached the house first, so they all entered and shed their coats and boots near the front door.
Ella put on water for a cup of tea while she waited for Laney to get the kids settled. It wasn’t long before she heard the lines of A Christmas Story in the living room and steps headed her way. She was just pouring the hot water.
“Mmm…nothing beats a cup of hot tea on a snowy night.” Ella settled into a kitchen chair and added some cream and sugar to her cup. “Of course, I think tea tastes pretty good on just about any night, so who am I kidding? I’ll use any excuse to have a cup of tea.” Ella smiled at her own witty sense of humor and sipped her tea.
Laney doctored her brew and breathed in deeply of the scented steam rising from her cup. Her thoughts returned to the play she had just sat through. “Why would God want a twelve year-old to be the mother of his son? It makes no sense. That would be like Joy having a baby. I don’t understand it.”
Ella wasn’t used to being the one on the answering side of the questions. Usually she was the one doing the asking. She tried to remember all she learned in Sunday school class with Pastor Mark. “Well, it was a different time back then. Girls married a lot younger than nowadays and the Bible says she found favor with God. Most importantly, God knew she would follow his will for her life and be faithful through the hard job of having his son.”
Ella lifted her cup. “We see her as being the mom of Jesus, but we don’t think about how much she had to go through to be given such an important task. Most likely she was looked down upon.
Who would really believe she got pregnant by the Holy Spirit? She probably was made out to be a liar and a woman of low virtue, when quite the opposite was the truth. I cannot imagine the ridicule she was put through. I would guess even her parents doubted her word.”
Laney was attentive to her every word, so Ella continued. “Thank goodness that God, in his infinite wisdom, knew she’d need someone to support her and sent angels to Joseph. What I would have given for a man who would have stood beside me through everything. In that way, she was blessed. The love that those two shared must have been spectacular.”
“You mean, God wanted her to have pain in her life? He wanted people to call her a liar and a loose woman?”
“No, he didn’t want any of that, but he also knows the heart of man. He knew that men would choose to see what they wanted to see. His love for us was so great that he knew the only way for us to spend eternity with him was to send his son. He knew Mary would do the right thing. He knew she had a pure heart and a real love for her God. He knew the blessings would be so much greater than the trials she would go through. That is what he wants from us. He wants us to remain faithful to him through our trials and our tests and when we obtain the blessing that is coming, we will count everything we have gone through as worth it. It is not easy, to be sure. But, it is all worth it if it glorifies our Lord.”
Everything Ella was saying quietly sunk in. Laney understood what God was asking from her. “Why does he ask such a hard thing?”
Ella shook her head. “I wish I knew. I really do.”
Laney remained wistful, trying to make sense of this new idea of God that was circling in her mind. No longer was he this horrible being who wanted bad things to happen to his people, but she still saw him as something of a mystery. And before she would commit, she would need to unravel the mystery.
“Ella, do you have a Bible I can borrow? I think I need to start figuring some things out for myself.”
“I have one in my desk. I’ll get it for you.”
“I’ll walk with you. I don’t want you to slip and fall.”
Back home, Laney opened up the Bible to the book of John. Both Sheila and now Ella had recommended it as a good place to start. She spent the next hour getting to know God more intimately. He was not what she thought he was. She knelt beside her bed and whispered, “God, I don’t know the right things to say or do. I only know that you are not who I thought you were. I’m sorry. I know I need you in my life. I want to trust you and lean on you. I want to do what is right so you will use me too, like you did with Mary. God, will you help me?” Laney lowered her head to her hands and the tears that had been stored for a lifetime fell with abandonment. After quietly praying asking Jesus into her heart, she rose from her bed and slept better than she had in years. A peace that passes all understanding filled every hole that had once been filled with worry and dread. Laney was a brand new woman.
* * * *
Christmas came without any word from Paul. The kids loved their gifts and Ella’s misting eyes let Laney know she’d done the right thing when she’d had a picture of Ella and the kids blown up and framed. When little Melanie had started calling Ella Grammy, no one bothered to correct her. Before long, Joy and Matt joined in, adopting her as their own. Laney felt her own eyes well up with tears when she opened her gift from Ella, a brand new Bible, her very own. Her finger traced the embossing of her name on the front of the precious leather book. She grinned when she saw the pink highlighter drop from the packaging.
Later, when everyone was distracted, she opened her Bible and read this inscription: To the daughter of my heart, the decision you have made to trust in our Lord is the most important decision you will ever make. Continue to walk with him daily and meet him here, in this place. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you more than life itself. Believe in him and go to him when everything else seems to be crumbling before you. He will be your strength in all things. With all my love, Ella.
Laney used her new pink highlighter to reinforce those words of love. It was during Christmas dinner that Ella’s phone began to ring. Laney wasn’t sure she’d ever heard her phone ring. She knew she had a phone because she had called her a few times, but she was curious as to who it was.
Ella only spoke for a couple of minutes and the conversation was one sided, but it was obvious it was one of her kids. Laney couldn’t help but hear what Ella was saying. “Yes, thank you I did receive your card. Did the children like their gifts?
“Yes, I realize they already have scarfs and hats but I thought they might like one made by their grandmother.” There was a pause then Ella continued. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to get them. I didn’t receive any kind of list and I didn’t want to just send them money.” Another pause. “Yes, I will remember that for next year. Can I tell the kids Merry Christmas? Oh, I see. I’m sure they are busy with it being Christmas and all. Please tell them I love them, okay? Merry Christmas. Goodbye.”
The conversation couldn’t have lasted for more than five minutes. Laney’s heart broke for the woman who was still standing with her back to the table, her shoulders hunched forward. She rose and went to her friend. “I’m so sorry.” Laney hugged her close, wanting to comfort the woman who has been there for her through so much. She was so thankful they could spend Christmas together. Otherwise, Ella would have spent it alone, as she did every other year. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She allowed Laney to lead her to the couch. “Laney, don’t ever do what I did. Don’t stand by and let your husband hurt you and ridicule you in front of your children. They will never forgive you for it.”
Laney felt her lungs scream for a breath. Ella was abused too? This sweet woman who has done so much for others? She kept quiet, waiting to see if Ella would share her story.
“Marsha was only one when her daddy died in the Vietnam War. I was scared. All alone with a little one, no money and no place to go. What was I supposed to do?” Ella looked to Laney, not expecting an answer yet still wanting her actions to be understood, to be validated. “Then Frank came along. He was charming, handsome and he swept me off my feet. He seemed to be everything I needed, a strong shoulder to lean on and a provider for my young daughter who was the victim of circumstances. By the time I realized what he was, it was too late. I had already married him.”
Ella looked guilty, as if she had committed something unforgivable. She tried to explain further. “I was a single parent without any way of providing for us, so I did the next best thing. I married the first guy that asked me. I wish I had known God back then. Maybe he would have shown me a better way to do things.”
Ella dabbed her eyes with the tissue Laney handed her. “At first, I was happy. We seemed to have a good marriage. But things fell apart fast. To my daughter, I was weak and afraid. She thinks I let him beat me and humiliate me. She doesn’t understand that I didn’t know what else to do. Now, she won’t forgive me. She wants nothing to do with me. Somehow she thinks I’ll rub off on her.”
Ella crossed the room and studied the framed pictures lining the mantle. “Things started off slow, a shove here or there, a push every once in a while. Occasionally he would pin me down on the bed and make me listen to what he had to say.” She stood in front of Marsha’s picture while tears stained her roughly-etched cheeks.
“The more I rebelled, the more I stood up to him, the worse things got. It went from shoving and pushing to slapping and belittling. He would do things on purpose, make things up, blame me, and then punish me for them. He found my fear entertaining. He invented ways to embarrass me, to make me question my sanity and my worth as a human being. The worst thing was, he caused my daughter to hate me.”
Ella took the framed picture of Marsha and held it close to her heart. “She couldn’t stand me. She looked at me like I was the most disappointing person on earth. Even after Frank died, our relationship never got any better. I tried. I really did.”
Ella replaced the frame, and then walke
d back to the couch. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to burden you. I try not to think about him or about our life together. It is better left alone, behind closed doors.”
She looked at Laney, her eyes pleading. “Please, don’t do the same thing to your kids. They deserve so much more.”
Laney was so thankful that her kids were there. They spent the rest of Christmas day asking for help or wanting to play games. She knew Ella wasn’t completely distracted, but having the kids need her sure did help. She played two games of Sorry, helped Joy start her very own scarf with her new knitting needles and yarn, and she played princess with Melanie, who was still refusing to take off her angel costume. They had each other and for now that would have to be enough. All in all it was a good day. One she would later think back on and long for.
Chapter Twenty-One
The call came early, really early. “Laney, it’s Sheila. You awake?”
“It’s five o’clock in the morning, no, I’m not awake. Why are you calling this early?”
“Laney, it’s Keisha. She’s in the hospital. They don’t know if she is going to make it.”
She was wide awake now. “What do you mean, they don’t know if she’s going to make it? What happened?”
“It was Jamal. He beat her badly. It was a couple of nights ago. The neighbors called the police. They found Jamal sitting at the kitchen table eating pizza and drinking beer and they found Keisha lying in the bedroom on the floor, bleeding to death. Laney, they found Junior in the bedroom closet, scared out of his mind.”
Laney felt like throwing up. She held her stomach and moaned. “Is she at Mercy?”
“Yeah, Laney, I’ll pick you up. We’ll go together.”
Forever Blessed (Women of Prayer) Page 11
