Two days after returning from Disney, it was that dreaded time. Pete had to go back to Iraq. I had hoped this would be the last time his unit had to serve, and then life would resume with him home where he belonged. But life would actually change drastically. We lay awake in bed as we always did before starting a new day. With tears welling up, I stared into my husband’s ice-blue eyes.
“Can’t you just quit? I don’t want you to go. Jacob is developing a new attitude, and he thinks he’s an adult now. Do you know he will not stop bugging me for a cell phone? I tell him it just isn’t necessary, but he seems to think that all twelve-year-olds have to have one. I tell you, he must think that when you are away, I will cave in, and he will end up with one.”
“Can you blame him for trying? He is almost thirteen, and he’s starting to think of himself as an adult. Puberty does change a guy.”
“Oh, please, I don’t even want to hear that word. When I hear it, I think of sex, and I just can’t think of sex and Jacob in the same thought. See, I need you to help me through this. I don’t know anything about boys and sex”
“I beg to differ, darling. You know everything about boys and sex.” Pete winked. I giggled, and then he grabbed me in his arms, and we made love for the last time before he left.
The children had all finally woken up, and while Pete tended to Mary I made his favorite breakfast, bacon and eggs over easy with cheese on a bagel. The boys were playing the Wii, waiting to eat, and for some reason, I found myself savoring that moment as if it was Christmas Day. Ben and Jacob played the Wii almost every weekend morning and argued a lot while doing it. I constantly told Jacob to stop bossing his brother around and told Ben to stop whining. But that morning was different. I smiled to myself as they bickered, and when I heard Pete making Mary giggle in the other room, I thanked God for my family. I felt truly blessed at that moment as I realized I was very fortunate to have such a perfect family. Even my bickering boys were normal, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Pete emerged from the bedroom with Mary, and I announced breakfast was ready. As we ate together, I kept pushing the thoughts about Pete leaving out of my mind. I just wanted to enjoy and take in this lovely family moment. It was a beautiful sight. Because Pete had been away so much, I made the most of our days together.
Breakfast was over and Pete, in his camo, was ready to head out. The children jumped to him and smothered him with kisses. I looked on, trying to hold back the tears with a smile on my face. Pete knelt down to his children and held them in his arms.
“Well, my precious little angels, I have to go now. I will miss you very much. Just keep saying your prayers each night that things get better over in Iraq, so that all daddies can go home to their families. Jacob, you are getting older now. Help Mommy take care of things here, okay? And that means making things as easy for her as possible. That means, do as you are told, don’t give her any trouble, and help with the chores. Remember, Mommies should not have to take out the garbage.”
Jacob replied, “I hate the trash. Can I make Ben do it?”
“Nice try, buddy, but no,” Pete firmly stated with a smile. “Ben, you are getting to be a big boy so make sure you listen to Mommy. She will need your help too. And be nice to your sister, okay?”
“I’m going to miss you, Daddy. Can’t you stay longer? I want you to help me finish the airplane model.”
“I wish I could, Ben. But I have a duty to fulfill. And it’s an important one. Of course, you guys are the most important thing to me, and what I am doing will help you even though you can’t quite understand it yet. I promise you the next time I see you, the first thing I will do is finish the model with you. Okay, buddy?”
“Okay, Daddy,” said Ben feeling reassured.
“Oh, my sweet Mary, don’t grow too much, okay. Don’t walk until I get back.” Pete tickled Mary’s belly, and she started to laugh.
Pete then locked eyes with me and rose to walk towards me.
“Hey angel.”
“Hey.”
“It doesn’t matter how far away I am from you, you know I am always with you.”
I smiled but couldn’t help but let a tear fall down my face as he embraced me. I was just so sad, again feeling the dread of being alone. I needed him so badly to get through life. Every decision I made, I first consulted with him. He was the head of the house, and I depended on him to support us and lead us. He was my protector, my lover, and my everything. When we became one, it was as if I completely abandoned my own sense of self. But I didn’t care. I loved how he led our family. I knew no matter what, I was safe with him. When he was away, I just felt lost.
“Don’t cry, my love. This isn’t goodbye, not really. I’ll call every chance I get, and we will see each other often thanks to technology.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can be without you. I miss you so much when you are gone,” I whispered.
“I know, and I miss you too. You’ll be fine. You’re a great mom, and you’re stronger than you think. I married you for more than your looks, you know.”
“Thanks,” I said with a sarcastic smile.
“You’re welcome.” We both giggled.
“I love you, angel,” he said sweetly.
“I love you too. Be safe.”
“I will. See you soon, Catherine. Alright my family, it’s time for me to go. Be good. I love you all very much. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
The children all yelled “bye” and gave huge hugs. Mary waved bye-bye, but I’m sure she couldn’t even begin to comprehend what it meant that day. We followed him out and stood on the porch watching as he got into the car and drove away.
Chapter 2
An Unlikely Friend
A few days later, I had my best friend Linda over for coffee. Linda, unlike me, was a little on the wild side. She was a single mother, in her forties, with a thirteen-year-old son. Linda was a Public Relations Consultant and ran her own business from home. She was not a practicing Catholic like me. Instead, she was raised Catholic but hadn’t been to church since she moved out at eighteen, except, of course, for Easter and Christmas. Linda’s hair was short and spiky and she adorned a neck tattoo. But despite the wild exterior, she was a good soul.
We met at a back-to-school night when our oldest sons started Kindergarten. Because Jacob and her son Jesse took a liking to each other, we began talking as well. I’ll never forget the way my son’s eyes lit up when we walked into the classroom that night.
“Mommy, Mommy, I see Jesse.”
“Hang on, sweetie; we just walked in the door. Let me sign in, and then we’ll sit with him. I can’t wait to meet him.”
As I signed in, I caught a glimpse of a thin woman with very short hair and a neck tattoo. I was always shocked to see a parent who wasn’t exactly prim and proper. Perhaps I was so used to my own parents that I had certain expectations for all parents. I knew bad parents existed, but in my own little perfect world bubble, I was still appalled to see a mother or father who seemed less than a good example. The woman I saw struck me simply because of her style. What kind of mother would have a tattoo on her neck?
“Here’s my seat, Mommy. And this is Jesse.”
I was embarrassed to see that Jacob’s new best friend was that woman’s son. Great, I thought. Why did Jacob have to choose this boy?
“Hello, I’m Catherine. It seems our sons have taken a liking to each other,” I said to Linda, trying to hide my disapproval and trying not to reveal that I had already judged her.
“Hi, I’m Linda. It’s so nice to meet you. And it’s so nice to meet you too, Jacob. Jesse looks forward to seeing you every day.”
“Hi,” Jacob said with curiosity in his voice. “Is that a real tattoo on your neck?”
I about fainted at that point. Jacob was pointing out what I had been staring at for the past
five minutes.
“Yes,” Linda replied with a matter of fact attitude.
“Cool,” Jacob said looking at it with amazement.
“Well, not so cool,” Linda thankfully replied. “You see, years ago I thought it was cool too, but now I wish I didn’t do this. Tattoos aren’t a good idea, so don’t ever get one. Do you like the same clothes you wore as a baby, you know the ones with the little teddy bears and rattles your mommy used to put on you?”
“No,” Jacob said giggling but with such adamancy.
“Right, we like different things as we get older. Imagine if you had to wear those bears forever,” Linda joked. “I have to wear this forever, and it just isn’t me anymore.” She leaned to me and said, “If only I looked good with longer hair, I could cover this up.” We smiled at each other, and I realized that God was reminding me not to judge his children so quickly. This would become one of the most precious moments of my life. I had just met my best friend.
As the months and years went on, we would have deep meaningful conversations during play dates, and although very different, we realized we had a lot in common. Linda shared her story with me soon after we met. She moved out at eighteen because she didn’t want to be under her parents’ roof anymore because that meant abiding by their rules. Yes, she was somewhat a wild child in high school, and even her parents’ strict Christian beliefs didn’t teach her restraint. The friends she hung around did not come from families with the same values, and she allowed herself to believe in them more than she believed in God’s grace. Fun was more important than living according to God’s commands, and her parents always pointed out her ignorance. She left at eighteen to go to a college out of state. It was an escape for her, but luckily, she gained the education she needed to make a wonderful life for herself.
During her senior year in college, partying caught up to her, and she became pregnant after a one night stand. It took her several months before she admitted this to her parents. Instead of telling her parents and adding more stress to her last year of college, she decided to give up partying for the sake of her child and focused on her studies. Although her son was conceived in a sinful way, she truly believed that her pregnancy was God’s intervention. After all those years, her parents’ lessons were finally making sense to her. She was able to see God in a time of desperation. She prayed and prayed and became content with her situation. She chose to love her child and make choices from that point on that were best for her son. In her final year of college, she made the dean’s list.
It was just two days before her graduation when she told her parents that she was pregnant. They called to let her know that they were about to board the airplane to come and attend her graduation. She took a few moments to drop the bomb on them. I still remember the way Linda laughed as she told me the story.
“I said to my mom on the phone, ‘Mom, I can’t wait to see you tonight. But I want to prepare you to meet someone very special in my life. God brought him to me, and he has changed my life completely. I now know what Jesus wants for me, and I have given up all of the bad fun you’ve always tried to turn me away from.’ At that point my mom was excited to meet the man. And then I said, ‘I’m so happy you are looking forward to meeting your grandson Jesse.’ And then I hung up.”
I was dumbfounded when she told me the story, but boy did we laugh. It turned out that eased the shock for them when they arrived, and the airplane ride actually gave her parents time to absorb the information and see the good in the situation. After that, Linda stayed with her parents again until she finished her master’s degree. They helped take care of Jesse during that time and until she got her own business up and running. She was proud that she was able to take care of her son on her own.
A best friendship developed rapidly. Linda was easy to talk to, very supportive, and the most loyal friend. She never censored herself, always saying just what she thought. She may have spoken a little harshly at times, but it was always with love and concern. We sort of balanced each other. While I remained pretty reserved, she always seemed to say things that I was thinking but couldn’t bring myself to say out loud.
“So, I take it you had a romantic time with Pete as usual?”
“It was wonderful. When he’s away for so long, it feels like we are young lovers when he gets back. That’s the only nice thing about him being away.”
“Oh, please. I see the two of you together all of the time, and you are always like young lovers.”
“He’s the love of my life. I couldn’t imagine being without him. I hate that he’s gone again,” I said with a tear falling.
“Oh, sweetheart, I know it sucks, but you act like you are incapable of surviving while he’s away. I don’t like hearing you talk like you’re an imbecile.”
“Linda.”
“I’m sorry, Catherine, but no woman, not even you, needs a man. I’ve done just fine without one for years, and I’ve done just fine by my son. Give yourself a little credit. Yes, you have the best man in the world, and I have to admit, I am envious. But Catherine, stop using him as a lifesaver. You can breathe without him you know.”
“I know, but I don’t want to.”
Linda rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee. What she didn’t realize at that time was that I truly meant what I said. I didn’t want to breathe without him. I couldn’t even imagine life without him. He was my life, and if he was gone, I wanted to be gone too.
“Come on girl. Let’s go shopping before I have to smack you.”
Chapter 3
Welcome Home?
It had been a week since Pete left. I hadn’t heard from him since he called to tell me he had arrived in Iraq. I finally got the children down around eight o’clock and fell asleep around nine. That was the first deep sleep I had gotten since he left. While I slept, Pete showed up. He didn’t bother to wake me up, but he went into the children’s rooms for some daddy time.
It was about eleven o’clock at night when he gently woke up Ben.
“Daddy, you’re home,” Ben said loudly with excitement.
“Shhh, you’ll wake everyone. Come here. I promised the next time I saw you the first thing I would do is help you finish the model. Do you think we can work quietly?”
Ben whispered, “Yes,” with excitement as he jumped out of bed. He went directly to his desk and began working on his model with his dad. They worked diligently until one o’clock in the morning.
“Now go back to sleep. You can show it off tomorrow okay? I love you, buddy. Remember I am always with you, okay?”
“Good-night, Daddy, I love you.”
Pete went into Jacob’s room at about six in the morning.
“Wake up, Jacob, the garbage men will be here soon, and I see you didn’t get the trash from the garage out.”
“Daddy,” Jacob said groggily, “What are you doing home?”
“I just had to come and check on things here. Come on, I’ll help you with the trash, and I’ll show you what I do to make trash time not so bad.”
Jacob followed his dad into the garage, and Pete explained how he puts a huge garbage bag into the garbage can and as the kitchen basket gets filled, he just tosses it into the big one. On trash day, he puts all of the other trash in and tightly closes the huge trash bag. He then securely closes the lids on both cans. He told Jacob to grab the handle.
“On your mark, get set, go.”
Jacob pulled the wheeled can down the driveway, racing to the curb. Jacob lost his grip, and the can fell popping the lid open.
“See, Jacob. You can run and even if it falls, the trash doesn’t come out! Time yourself each day, and see how fast you can race to the curb. You can even talk your brother into helping you this way. What do you think?”
“Cool!”
“Alright son, wash your hands and get back to bed. Next time, do this before bedtime
, okay? I love you, buddy. I’m so proud of you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
The boys were still sleeping at seven in the morning, but I woke when I heard Mary’s giggles on the monitor. I found Pete there with Mary on her floor. I was surprised to see him. He didn’t tell me he was coming home. My eyes opened wide, and I ran to hug him.
“What are you doing here? Oh my goodness, I can’t believe it.”
Pete stopped me by raising his hand. “Hi, angel. Wait. Watch.”
He held on to Mary with her facing me and then let go. She walked a few steps and then fell into my arms giggling.
“Mary, you’re walking. Great job, baby. Well, she waited for you to walk, didn’t she?”
“Yes she did.”
“But I don’t understand. Why aren’t you in Iraq?”
“Well, I just had enough time to stop in on my way to another station. But I really have to go. I’m sort of breaking the rules by being here, so I shouldn’t push it. I love you, angel. Remember, I am always with you, baby, no matter how far.”
“But where are you going?”
Pete winked, “It’s very secretive. Don’t bother with questions, honey. Just be happy I was able to stop by.”
“Wait. You can’t just leave like that. What’s going on? Why didn’t you call? What’s the rush? Why so secretive?”
“Angel, believe me, I hate to do this.”
He started to walk towards me but hesitated. “I really have to go. They are waiting for me. Believe me when I tell you I am breaking the rules. You’ll understand soon, I promise. Please, just trust me. I have to go. Just know that I love you more than life itself. Bye, baby.”
Pete blew a kiss to me and then glanced over his shoulder. He then walked away quickly. I was standing there confused and dumbfounded. I walked out of Mary’s room after him, but when I reached the living room, he was already gone. I wasn’t sure what had just happened and didn’t mention it to the boys. I didn’t want them to miss their dad even more by telling them that he was there, but he didn’t have time to see them. I later wished that I had told them.
Soldier from Heaven (9781629021911) Page 2
