Fallen Too Far

by Abbi Glines

  “You like that?” Rush asked in amazement.

  “Yes. It feels so good.”

  Rush closed his eyes and threw his head back and let out a groan as he began to move faster. I could feel my body climbing higher again. Was that possible? Could I have another orgasm so soon?

  All I knew was, I wanted more. I lifted my hips to meet his thrust and that seemed to make him frantic.

  “Yeah. God, you’re incredible. So tight. Blaire you’re so fucking tight,” he said through pants as he moved inside me.

  I pulled my knees up so I could wrap my legs around his waist and he began to tremble. “Are you close, baby?” he asked in a strained voice.

  “ I think,” I replied, feeling the building inside of me. I wasn’t there yet though. The pain had slowed down any pleasure in the beginning. Rush slipped his hand down between us until his thumb rubbed against my throb.

  “AH! Yes right there,” I cried out and clung to him as the wave crashed over me. Rush let out a roar and went rigid and very still then he pumped into me one last time.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Rush’s heavy breathing in my ear as his body weighed down on mine was wonderful. I wanted to hold him here. Still inside me. Just like this.

  When he moved his arms and lifted himself off me, I tightened my arms around him and he chuckled. “I’ll be back. I need to take care of you first,” he said and then kissed me on the lips before leaving me alone on his bed.

  I watched his naked butt in all its perfection walk across the room and into what appeared to be the bathroom. I heard water running and then he was walking back out completely bare in the front. My eyes immediately went south. I heard Rush chuckle and I closed my eyes embarrassed to be caught looking.

  “Don’t get shy on me now,” he teased then reached to reopen my knees. “Open up for me,” he said softly and pulled my knees open. I noticed the washcloth in his hands for the first time.

  “Not too much,” he said, washing between my legs as I watched him in fascination. “Does it hurt?” he asked with concern in his voice as he gently wiped the tender area. I shook my head. Now that we weren’t wild with passion this was embarrassing. But having him clean me up was sweet. Was this what guys did after sex? I’d never seen this in a movie.

  Rush seemed pleased with his clean up job and he threw the used wash cloth in the trash can beside his bed. He crawled back on the bed beside me and pulled me against him.

  “I thought you weren’t a cuddler, Rush,” I said as he ran his nose along my neck and inhaled loudly.

  “I wasn’t. Only with you Blaire. You’re my exception,” he whispered then tucked my head under his chin and pulled the covers up over us. Sleep came fast. I was safe and I was happy.

  Slow kisses being placed on the inside of my calf and along the arch of my foot was the first thing that registered with me. I forced my eyes open. Rush was on his knees at the end of the bed kissing my feet and up the side of my leg with a wicked grin on his face.

  “There’s your eyes. I was beginning to wonder just how much I was going to need to kiss in order to wake you up. Not that I mind kissing higher but that would lead to some more incredible sex and you now only have twenty minutes to get to work.”

  Work. Oh crap. I sat up and Rush put my leg down. “You’ve got time. I’ll go fix you something to eat while you get ready,” he assured me.

  “Thank you, but you don’t have to. I’ll grab something in the staff break room when I get there.”

  I was trying not to let the morning after awkwardness set in. I had had sex with this man. Really good sex or at least I thought it was. Now it was daylight and I was naked in his bed.

  “I want you to eat here. Please.”

  He wanted to me here. My heart thumped harder in my chest. “Okay. I need to go to my room and get a shower.”

  Rush glanced back at his bathroom then at me. “I’m torn, because I want you to shower in there but I don’t think I’ll be able to walk away knowing you’re naked and soapy in my shower. I’ll want to join you.”

  Holding the sheet over my chest, I sat up and smiled up at him. “As appealing as that sounds I’d be late for work.”

  Rush sighed and nodded. “Right. You need to go to your room.”

  I looked around for my clothes but I didn’t see them anywhere.

  “Put this on. Henrietta comes today. I’ll have her wash and press your clothes from last night.” He threw the tee shirt he’d had on last night at me. I caught a whiff of him as it landed on my chest. I was going to have a hard time giving this back. I modestly tried to pull it over me without letting the sheet fall.

  “Now stand up. I want to see you,” he murmured, backing up. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants as he eased off the edge of the bed and waited for me to stand up. I let the sheet fall and I stood up. His shirt hit me just above the knees.

  “Can you call in sick?” he asked as his eyes traveled down my body.

  A warm tingly sensation ran through me. “I’m not sick,” I replied.

  “Are you sure? Because I think I have a fever,” he said stepping around the bed and pulling me up against him. “Last night was amazing,” he said into my hair.

  I hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from him. I’d been worried that he might toss me out this morning. But he wasn’t. He was being sweet. And so incredibly yummy I was tempted to call in sick.

  It was my day on the drink cart and if I didn’t show up then Bethy would have to do the whole course by herself on a Friday. That would be cruel. I couldn’t.

  “I have to work today. They’re expecting me,” I explained.

  He nodded and stepped back, “I know. Run Blaire. Run your cute little ass down stairs and get ready. I can’t promise you I will let you go if you stand here looking like that much longer.”

  Giggling, I ran past him and down the stairs. The amused laughter I left behind was perfect. Rush was perfect.

  The heat was only getting worse. I really wished Darla would let me wear my hair up. I was ready to take a bottle of that ice water and pour it over my head. I’d dry in seconds out here in this heat. Why were men golfing in this weather? Were they crazy?

  Pulling the drink cart to back to the first hole I noticed the dark head of hair that belonged to Woods. Great. Not who I was in the mood for today. Jace was probably wanting to wait on Bethy to make her rounds anyway. I could probably skip them. Woods turned and looked back at me and a smile touched his lips.

  “Back on the cart today. As much as I like having you inside this makes golfing a helluva lot more fun,” Woods said in a teasing tone as I pulled the cart up beside them.

  I wasn’t going to encourage his flirting. But he was my boss so I couldn’t make him mad either.

  “Back off, Woods. That’s a little too close,” Rush’s voice came from behind me and I spun around to see him walking toward us with a pair of dark blue shorts and a white polo shirt. Was he playing golf?

  “So she’s why you suddenly wanted to play with us today?” Woods asked.

  I didn’t look away from Rush as he walked toward me. He was here for me. At least I was pretty sure he was. He’d asked me where I was working today during breakfast.

  His hand slipped around my waist. He pulled me up against his side and bent his head to whisper in my ear, “Are you sore?”

  He’d been worried about me being sore today and having to work on my feet all day. I’d told him I was fine. I just felt stretched. Apparently he was still concerned.

  “I’m fine,” I replied quietly.

  He pressed a kiss to my ear. “Do you feel stretched? Can you tell I’ve been inside you?”

  I nodded, feeling my knees go a little weak from the tone in his voice.

  “Good. I like knowing you can feel where I’ve been,” he said then pulled away from me and leveled his eyes on Woods.

  “I figured this was gonna happen,” Woods said in an annoyed tone.

  “Nan know it yet?” Jace asked
. Blondie hit him in the arm and scowled at him.

  Why did Nan always come up? Would I ever know?

  “This isn’t Nan’s business. Or yours,” Rush replied glaring at Jace.

  “I came here to golf. Let’s not talk about this out here. Blaire, why don’t you get everyone’s drinks and head on to the next hole,” Woods said.

  Rush tensed beside me. Woods was testing us. He wanted to see if I was going to act differently now that Rush was making some claim on me publicly. I was here to work. Just because I had slept with Rush didn’t change my place in the grand scheme of things. I knew that.

  I stepped out of Rush’s arms to open the cooler and started handing out everyone’s choice of drinks. My tips weren’t as high as they used to be with this group. Except, of course, for Woods. I figured that would change today too.

  I could see the hundred dollar bill that Woods put in my hands and I was sure Rush did too. I quickly closed my hand and shoved it into my pocket. I’d deal with him later when Rush wasn’t watching. Rush walked up and stuck his payment in my pocket. He kissed me softly and then winked at me before he walked over to get a golf club from the caddy.

  I didn’t give Woods a reason to correct me. I quickly got back on the cart and headed for the next hole. The phone in my pocket buzzed startling me. Rush had tucked it in my pocket before I left this morning. I was having a hard time remembering I had it.

  I stopped the cart and pulled it out.

  Rush: I’m sorry about Woods.

  Why was he sorry? He had no reason to be sorry.

  Me: I’m fine. Woods is my boss. No big deal.

  I slipped the phone back into my pocket and headed to my next stop.

  Chapter Twenty

  A driveway full of cars was not something I expected when I pulled into Rush’s after work. The golf course had gotten so busy that I’d only stopped to give them drinks one more time on the sixteenth hole. He hadn’t texted me again all day. My stomach knotted up nervously. Was this it? Had his brief moment of sweetness after taking my virginity faded away so soon?

  I had to park out on the edge of the road. Closing my truck door, I started the trek to the door.

  “You don’t want to go in there,” Grant’s familiar voice said in the darkness. I looked around and saw a small orange glow fall to the ground then get put out under a boot before Grant stepped out of his hiding spot.

  “Do you come to these parties to hang around outside?” I asked, since this was the second time I’d arrived at a party here to find Grant outside alone.

  “I can’t seem to quit smoking. Rush thinks I’ve stopped. So I hide out here when I need a smoke,” he explained.

  “Smoking will kill you,” I told him, remembering all the smokers that I’d watched slowly dying when I took my mother to chemo treatments.

  “That’s what they tell me,” he replied with a sigh.

  I looked back at the house and heard the music pouring out of it. “I didn’t know there was a party tonight,” I said, hoping the disappointment in my voice didn’t come through.

  Grant laughed and leaned a hip against a Volvo. “Isn’t there always a party here?”

  No, there wasn’t. After last night I thought Rush would have called me or texted me. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting it.”

  “I don’t think Rush was either. This is a Nan party. She sprung it on him. The girl has always managed to get away with murder where Rush is concerned. I got my ass kicked by Rush more than once growing up because I didn’t fall for her wounded puppy shit.”

  I walked over to lean against the Volvo beside him and crossed my arms. “So you grew up with Nan, too?” I needed something. Any kind of explanation.

  Grant cut his eyes at me. “Yeah. Of course. Georgianna is her momma. Only parent she’s got. Well…” Grant pushed off from the Volvo and shook his head. “Nope. You almost had me. I can’t tell you shit, Blaire. Honestly when someone does I don’t want to be anywhere around.”

  Grant stalked back toward the house.

  I watched him until he was back inside before I made my way to the house. I prayed no one was in my room. If they were I was going to the pantry. I was not in the mood for Nan. Or the secrets surrounding Nan that everyone but me was allowed to know. I sure wasn’t in the mood for Rush.

  I opened the door and was glad that no one was standing around to see me arrive. I headed straight for the stairs. Laughter and voices filled the house. I didn’t fit in with them. There was no use in going down there and acting like I did.

  I glanced at the door leading to Rush’s stairs and let last night’s memories wash over me. I was beginning to think that was a one-time thing. I opened my door and stepped in before I turned on the light.

  I covered my mouth from the scream that bubbled up when I realized I wasn’t alone. It was Rush. He was sitting on my bed looking out the window. He stood up when I closed the door and walked over to me.

  “Hey,” he said in a soft voice.

  “Hey,” I replied, unsure as to why he was in my room when he had a house full of people. “What are you doing in here?”

  He gave me a crooked smile. “Waiting on you. I kinda thought that was obvious.”

  Smiling, I ducked my head. His eyes could be too much sometimes. “I can see that. But you have guests.”

  “Not my guests. Trust me, I wanted an empty house,” he said cupping the side of my face with his hand. “Come upstairs with me. Please.”

  He didn’t have to beg. I’d go gladly. I dropped my purse on the bed and tucked my hand in his. “Lead the way.”

  Rush squeezed my hand and we headed up the stairs together.

  Once we reached the top step Rush pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard. Maybe I was easy but I didn’t care. I’d missed him today. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the emotion churning inside me that I didn’t quite understand.

  When he broke the kiss we were both breathless. “Talk. We are going to talk first. I want to see you smile and laugh. I want to know what your favorite show was when you were a kid and who made you cry at school and what boy band you hung posters of on your wall. Then I want you naked in my bed again.”

  Smiling at his strange, but adorable, way of telling me he wanted to do more than just have sex with me, I walked over to the large tan sectional sofa that overlooked the ocean instead of a television.

  “Thirsty?” Rush asked, walking over to a stainless steel refrigerator I hadn’t taken the time to notice last night. A small bar sat off to the side of it.

  “Just some ice water would be nice,” I replied.

  Rush went to work fixing drinks and I turned to look out at the ocean. “Rugrats was my favorite show, Ken Norris made me cry at least once a week but then he’d make Valerie cry and I’d get mad and hurt him. My favorite and most successful attack was a swift kick to the balls. And shamefully, The Backstreet Boys covered my walls.”

  Rush stopped beside me and handed me a tall glass of ice water. I could see the indecision on his face. He sat down beside me. “Who is Valerie?”

  I’d mentioned my sister without thinking. I was comfortable with Rush. I wanted him to know me. Maybe if I opened up about my secrets he would share his. Even if he couldn’t share Nan’s.

  “Valerie was my twin sister. She died in a car accident five years ago. My dad was driving. Two weeks later, he walked out of our lives and never returned. Mom said we had to forgive him because he couldn’t live with the fact he’d been driving the car that killed Valerie. I always wanted to believe her. Even when he didn’t come to Mom’s funeral I wanted to believe he just couldn’t face it. So I forgave him. I didn’t hate him or let bitterness and hate control me. But I came here and well… you know. I guess Mom was wrong.”

  Rush leaned forward and set his glass on the rustic wooden table beside the couch and slipped his arm behind me. “I had no idea you had a twin sister,” he said almost reverently.

  “We were identical. You could
n’t tell us apart. We had a lot of fun with that at school and with boys. Only Cain could tell us apart.”

  Rush began to play with a lock of my hair as we sat there looking out over the water. “How long did your parents know each other before they married?” he asked. Not a question I was expecting.

  “It was a love at first sight kind of thing. Mom was visiting a friend of hers in Atlanta. Dad had recently broken up with her friend and he came around one night when Mom was at her friend’s apartment alone. Her friend was a little wild from what my mom said. Dad took one look at mom and he was sunk. I can’t blame him. My mom was gorgeous. She had my color hair but she had the biggest green eyes. They were like jewels almost and she was just fun. You were happy just to be near her. Nothing ever got her down. She smiled through everything. The only time I saw her cry was when she was told about Valerie. She crumpled to the floor and wailed that day. It would have frightened me if I hadn’t felt the same way. It was like part of my soul had been ripped out.” I stopped. My eyes were burning. I’d let myself get carried away with opening up. I hadn’t opened up to anyone in years.

  Rush rested his forehead on the top of my head. “I’m so sorry, Blaire. I had no idea.”

  For the first time since Valerie had left me I felt like someone was there I could talk to. I didn’t have to hold back. I turned in his arms and found his lips with mine. I needed this closeness. I’d remembered the pain and now I needed him to make it go away. He was so good at making everything but him fade away.

  “I love them. I will always love them but I’m okay now. They’re together. They have each other,” I told him when I felt his reluctance to kiss me back.

  “Who do you have?” he asked in a tortured voice.

  “I have me. I found out three years ago when my mom got sick that as long as I held onto me and didn’t forget who I was that I’d always be okay,” I replied.

  Rush closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes the desperate look in them startled me. “I need you. Right now. Let me love you right here, please.”