by Bryony Kayn
“Jake,” he said again, his breath warm against her skin. “You feel so good. You taste so sweet—”
“Angel,” she said, closing her eyes tightly for a moment. He did feel so good to her, yet suddenly she was afraid. He had been her best friend from the very beginning, but what if this changed all of that? What if giving him what he wanted from her drove a wedge into Blackstone, shattering the band? And what would Steve do when he found out? If he found out he’d been betrayed not only by Jake but by Angel as well, there was no telling how ugly things would get. “Angel, stop,” she whispered, lifting her head.
His mouth took hers again, his kiss becoming more passionate, and she groaned.
She twisted her head to the side, panting for breath, and tried again. “Angel, we have to stop,” she said, more conviction in her voice than she actually felt. “Angel, stop!”
He stopped trying to kiss her, but still caressed her breast through the halter top. He rubbed his thumb lightly over her erect nipple. “I don’t want to stop, Jake. I don’t want to stop until we’re both satisfied.”
“All we’ll do is hurt each other,” she said sadly, feeling tears well in her eyes. “And Steve. And the other guys. I should never have kissed you back—not this morning and not now.”
“Don’t say that, babe,” he said, an edge of something like anger or desperation in his tone. “I want you so much, and I’ve wanted you for so long. Don’t say you don’t want me, too.” He took hold of her wrist, his grip firm but not painful, and moved her hand down to his groin. “Can’t you feel how much I need you?”
She could feel his hardness and bit her lip as an answering warmth filled her. “What about Steve?”
“What about him?” Angel asked, letting go of her wrist so he could reach behind her. His fingers searched for the tie of her halter top and began to unknot it. He inhaled sharply as her hand caressed him through his jeans.
“He’ll hate us both. And he’ll beat the shit out of me,” she replied, not taking her hand away from him. I shouldn’t have gotten fucking stoned, she berated herself. I have no control when I’m stoned!
“He’ll never touch you again,” Angel promised, pulling the knot apart and pushing the halter top aside, baring her full breasts. “He’ll get over it.” He leaned over, his mouth on her breast, and she cried out softly.
Jake steeled herself. His touch was building her desire, and their emotional connection only made it stronger. If she didn’t stop it now, she didn’t know if she would be able to. Forcing the words past her unwilling lips, she said, “He can never know. No one can.”
Angel paused, looking up into her face, his eyes startled. “What do you mean?”
“No one can know, babe,” she said evenly, moving her hand slowly over his hardness. “Not ever. I have to have your word on it.”
“Jake,” he said, sounding angry now, “I don’t just want to fuck you. I want to be with you.”
She shook her head, blinking back tears before they could spill over. “I’m with Steve, at least for now. For everything there is between you and me, I’m willing to cheat on him. It’s not like he hasn’t cheated on me, and with far less reason. I’ll give you my body and do everything I can to please you. But you know he’ll lose it if he ever finds out. Blackstone might not survive it. I might not.”
“I’ll protect you,” he said, but she just shook her head again.
“You can’t be with me all the time, sweetheart. And I can’t take the chance that the band would suffer because I’m selfish.”
“Jake, please,” he said, a note of quiet pleading in his deep voice. “I want more than sex from you. You have to know that.”
“I can’t give you anything else, babe,” she said, her heart aching. “I told you this morning that I’d be willing to get you off, and I still am. I would love to spend some time with you doing anything you want, anything that makes you feel good. But as far as everyone else knows, we’re still just friends. That’s the way it has to be.”
“That’s not enough,” he growled, his eyes narrowed.
“That’s all there is,” she whispered, forcing herself to keep meeting his eyes, forcing herself to recognize the pain there.
Suddenly he lowered his head, his cheek against her breast. He didn’t try to tease or persuade her; he just held her, his face against her bare skin, and listened to her heartbeat. Finally, he said, “I don’t want you to be a whore for me.”
“That’s not what this is,” she said, surprised at his words. “You’re still my best friend, Angel. It would just be something shared between close friends, something private. I want to make you feel good.”
He sighed, sitting up again so he could see her face. He caressed her breast lightly then dropped his hand to hers at his crotch. “It wouldn’t be enough, little girl. Not nearly enough.” He pulled her hand away from him, and stood up.
Jake watched him walk into the kitchen, then sat up and retied her halter top. He got a bottle of vodka out of the freezer and poured himself a stiff drink. Jake got up and crossed to the counter, watching as he sipped the clear liquor, wondering if he would say anything else. Finally, she asked, “Would it be better if I found another place to live?”
“Moving in with Steve at last?” There was a bitter current underlying his tone. “He’ll be happy, anyway.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not moving in with Steve. Maybe I never will. But I don’t want you to be uncomfortable because I’m here. This is your house, your sanctuary. I don’t want to ruin that for you.”
He shook his head, turning at last to meet her eyes. “This is your home, too, for as long as you want. That will never change, no matter what.” He finished his drink and set the glass in the sink. Then he rounded the counter and stopped before her, cupping her face between both hands. “Maybe someday you’ll realize how much I care about you, honey. Maybe someday you’ll understand that you don’t have to be with an asshole who hurts you all the time. Maybe, when that day comes, I’ll still be waiting for you. And maybe I won’t.” He bent to kiss her one more time, his lips sweet.
“Oh, Angel,” she whispered, her eyes still closed.
He dropped his hands to her shoulders and when she opened her eyes once more, he spoke. “I’m going over to T.J.’s for a while. I don’t know if I’ll make it down to the club tonight.”
Jake remained silent when he stepped away, her eyes following him as he crossed the living room and entered the hallway leading to the garage. She took a deep, shuddering breath when she heard the door click closed. Tears threatened again, but she forced them back. “No more pot for me,” she said aloud to the empty house. “It just completely fucks with my self-control.”
When Steve walked into the Neon later that night, the club was near capacity. The latest band, Grim, was halfway through their second set, and the dance floor was packed with gyrating bodies. Their sound was a little more metal than most of the bands that played the Neon, but they seemed to have a solid following, judging by the crowd.
Steve glimpsed Quinn and Nikky at a table to the right of the stage and made his way through the press of bodies to join them. A couple of women were already sitting with them, but Steve didn’t recognize either of them.
“Hey, Steve,” Quinn said when he caught sight of the singer. “How’s it going?”
Steve shrugged, shaking Quinn’s hand before taking the last empty chair between the two women. “Not too bad. Is this Jake’s section?”
Nikky shook his head. “No, she’s got the booths on the other side, but they were already packed when we got here.” He sat with his arm around a stunning brunette, who seemed to hang on his every word. “Dana’s got this section.”
“I’m gonna go to the men’s,” Steve said, dropping his pack of cigarettes on the table. “If Dana comes by, order me a whiskey, double, would you?”
“No problem,” Quinn said.
Steve headed back toward the bar, catching sight of Jake waiting for her next or
der of drinks. When he reached her, he didn’t give her a chance to say or do anything. “Where the hell did you take off to today?” Steve asked, grabbing her arm. “You had me fucking worried when you just left like that.”
“I don’t have time to talk about it right now,” Jake replied, nodding when Juan put the last drink on her tray. “I’m slammed.”
“Jake, I want to know,” Steve insisted.
She took a deep breath and pulled her arm out of his grasp. “You’re just gonna have to wait until my break. I’ve gotta run right now.”
He gritted his teeth with frustration, but decided now was not the time to push it. He could see Juan watching them surreptitiously. “Fine. I’m sitting with Nikky and Quinn, in Dana’s section. Come find me when you take your break.”
She nodded, preparing to heft the heavy tray. Before she could, he leaned over and kissed her. He felt her stiffen, then she responded more warmly. When he pulled back, she gave him a slight smile, and he felt his own expression loosen.
“I’ll definitely come find you,” she promised and lifted the laden tray with her left hand, balancing the edge on her shoulder before she turned to make her way through the crowd.
Steve stood for a moment, his eyes following her slender figure as she wove expertly through the crowd. She was wearing another dress tonight, this one black and shorter than the one she’d worn last night. It suited her, and he found himself noticing all the other guys in the vicinity who were checking her out. “Doesn’t matter,” he said under his breath. “She’s mine.”
About an hour later, Jake made her way to the table where Steve was sitting. Nikky was on the dance floor, his arms around the brunette who had been with him earlier. Quinn was still at the table with the pretty strawberry blonde who hadn’t left his side all night. Marlo had finally come in about a half an hour before and joined them at the table as well, talking to a couple of regulars who frequented the club.
“Break time,” Jake said, pushing long hair behind her ears. “Can I bum a smoke? I’m out.”
“Yeah, I’ll come join you,” Steve said, picking up his pack and getting up so he could follow her out back.
“Hey, sweetie,” Marlo said, holding an arm up in invitation, and Jake took a moment to give him a hug. “You look delicious.”
“I’m a tasty treat,” she agreed, grinning at him. “I’ll talk to you later, ’k?”
He nodded, going back to his interrupted conversation.
When they reached the back lot where the employees took their smoke breaks, Jake walked over to lean against the Lexus and waited until Steve handed her a cigarette. He lit it for her, and one for himself, then stuck his lighter back into a pocket.
“So, where did you go?” he asked, coming right to the point. His voice was level, and he seemed to have himself under tight control.
“I went to see Spyk,” she replied honestly. She wasn’t sure how he’d take it, but if he caught her in a lie, she knew how he’d react. “Jezebel’s was closed, so I called and got her address. We spent a couple of hours hanging out at her place until I felt less stressed out. Then I went back to Angel’s.”
“Why did you just take off like that?” Steve asked, looking down as though he didn’t dare to see her expression.
“Because I didn’t want to fight with you, and I didn’t want you and Angel fighting with each other because of me,” she answered, taking a long drag off her cigarette. “Maybe we need to take a couple days off, babe. Things have been getting too intense, and I don’t want something really bad to happen.”
“No,” Steve cut in. “I don’t want to take any time off. I want you with me. I don’t want to go a single day without you.”
“I know,” she said softly. “I understand that. But I’m scared we’re heading for a fight. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I don’t want it getting out of hand.”
Steve leaned against the car close beside her, sliding his arm around her waist. “I don’t want to fight with you either, Jae. I just want you to be mine.” He was silent a moment, his gaze like a weight on her profile. “I don’t want to leave you alone with Angel.”
She turned startled eyes to him, and it took her a moment to speak. “He would never hurt me.”
“I know that,” Steve said, ashing his cigarette. “But I saw how he was holding you this morning. I’ve seen how he looks at you. One of these days he’s gonna make a move on you, and I don’t want to have to beat the shit out of him for stepping out of line.”
Jake looked down, schooling her features with the expertise of years of practice. “You’re reading more into it than what’s there, babe. Angel and I are friends, only friends. That’s not gonna change.”
“If you and I broke up—really broke up,” Steve said in a low, intent voice, “he’d be knocking on your door the next night. I’m not stupid, Jae.”
Jake sighed, rubbing her forehead wearily. “Well, we’re not breaking up, are we? So you don’t have anything to worry about.” She took a last drag and flicked the cigarette butt across the blacktop. “And just because you’re so sure he’s interested, what makes you think I am? If I wanted to fuck him, baby, I’ve had plenty of opportunities.”
“I know that,” Steve said tightly, and his eyes were wells of barely controlled emotion. “I’m not saying I don’t trust you.”
“But you don’t trust Angel?” she asked, truly surprised to hear this. “He’s your oldest friend, Steve. What’s the deal?”
He flipped his cigarette away and turned to face her squarely, his hands coming to rest on her hips familiarly. “I know how you affect men, Jae. And he’s had feelings for you for a long time. I’d trust Angel with my life, but I wouldn’t be the least surprised if he tried to steal you away from me.”
Jake stepped closer, putting her arms around his neck. “I love Angel like a brother,” she said, putting every bit of conviction she could into her voice, and she curled her fingers around the back of his neck. “But you’re the one I want, Steve. You’ve always been the one I wanted.” She pulled his head down, pushing away the self-disgust that filled her as she used her mouth and body as a way to distract him from this dangerous conversation. But she didn’t dare let it continue. There was too much of a chance something she said would trigger suspicion in his mind.
“I don’t want to stay at Angel’s tonight,” he said, his voice a deep growl. “Come back to my house.”
She was silent a moment, running her fingers through his hair while she thought. She really did want to take a few days off but was afraid if she pushed it right now that might trigger the fight she was trying to avoid.
“I want to taste every part of you,” he whispered, kissing her again, then trailing kisses to her jaw and then her throat. “I want to spend all night showing you how much I need you.”
His breath was hot against her ear, and she shivered with unwilling anticipation. He meant every word.
“Come stay with me tonight,” he said again, his arms around her, holding her close to him. “I’ll do anything you want me to, Jae.”
She gasped, her head tipped to one side so he could gently bite her neck. “God, I can’t say no to you,” she whispered.
He tightened his hold on her for a moment, crushing her against him, and hid his face in her hair. “I love you, baby. I’ll always love you.”
“I love you back,” she replied, a little breathless from his grip. Then he loosened his arms, lifting his head so he could look down into her upturned face.
“I want you to spend the rest of the night thinking about it,” he said, stroking her hair with one hand. “Thinking about what you want me to do to you. I want you to imagine it.”
She shuddered, waves of heat rippling through her at the tone of his voice, at the words he was saying.
“Anything you want, Jae,” he whispered, kissing her again.
“You make me so hot,” she panted and gave herself up to him, to his strong mouth on hers, to his strong arms around her.
“Jake!”
She started and turned toward the service door. Cassie stood in the open door with a harassed expression.
“Jake, your break was over almost ten minutes ago—get your ass back in here!” the other barmaid said.
“Sorry! I’m on my way,” Jake called back and stepped away from Steve. “I’ve gotta go in,” she said, actually a little reluctant.
“Just keep thinking about it,” Steve said, a sly smile touching his well-formed lips.
“Mmm,” she murmured, stealing one more quick kiss. Then she headed back into the building with Steve following behind her.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, Angel. It’s me,” Jake said, taking a seat in Sly’s office chair.
“What’s up?”
“I’m just about ready to get off shift,” she said, knowing by the tone of his voice that they weren’t all right. “I’m staying at Steve’s tonight, so I just wanted to let you know.”
“Thanks,” he returned shortly.
“Do you want me to bring your car back and drop it off?”
Angel snorted. “You can drive it to Steve’s, little girl. I know it’s safe with you.”
“Okay,” she said, wanting to say more, but not sure what. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then?”
“Have a good night, Jake.”
“You, too,” she said softly, and hung up the phone.
Angel ended the call on his cell phone and set it on the small wooden table beside the bed. Then he turned back to the woman beside him.
“Jakey checking in?” Spyk asked, leaning up on one elbow, her wavy auburn hair her only covering.
“Yeah,” Angel replied and reached up to pull Spyk down onto his chest. “Now, where were we?”
“Right about here, I think,” Spyk said, and she kissed him, her long hair curtaining their faces.
Jake ended up spending the next three nights at Steve’s house, going back to Angel’s only after she was sure he’d left for T.J.’s. She brought some of her clothes back to Steve’s, putting them in his closet. She reminded herself firmly that she wasn’t moving in with him—but it was stupid not to have some clothes at his house when she spent so many nights with him.
