PRETEND
By Sharlay
Copyright ©2012
All rights reserved.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
PRETEND is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright ©2012 by Charlene Antrobus
ISBN-13:978-1478197478
ISBN-10:1478197471
Acknowledgments
Firstly and most importantly I want to thank God for giving me life and allowing me to have this experience. I thank him for blessing me with the skills to write and allowing me to share this story with the world. Everything that you will read in this book is a direct vision from him and I thank him for choosing me as the one that he would share this story with. Not only have I enjoyed writing it but it has taught me so much about life. It has taught me how to love, forgive and be happy. Through this story, he has taught me that no one is perfect, people make mistakes, things go wrong but when you focus on the positive then everything else just falls so perfectly into place. He showed me that love is his gift to us and that we should share it with the world. Without him I know that none of this would have been possible. I hope that this story will touch you in the way that he intended it to. God Bless xx
I also want to thank my family for making me the person that I am today, without them I would have never been brave enough to follow my dreams.
I want to thank my mom for making me the woman that I am today. She showed me what it means to be a mother who loves her children in a way that far exceeds my imagination. Not only has she given me unconditional love but she has taught me about God’s love, which is the most precious gift that I have and will ever receive. I thank her for teaching me about the importance of morals in life. I thank her for teaching me that I will make mistakes, I will mess up but that it doesn’t matter because it is all a part of life’s plan for me. She has always encouraged me to follow my dreams and to believe in the impossible and for that I thank you and I love you xx
To my dad who has always been there for me. I thank you for being that male role model in my life and never running away from your responsibilities. You were young when I arrived and forced to be a man way before your time but you never let me down and for that I am so grateful. You have supported me in my dreams and encouraged me to chase them. I thank you and I love you xx
To my beautiful siblings you are so precious to me. Not only has your presence in my life encouraged me to be a role model but you have showed me how to love on a deeper level. I thank you for enduring all of the hours of reading that I put you through with this book and for the many ideas that you have given me. You have helped to make the characters in this book so much more real because you loved them just as I did. On this journey you have felt every emotion that this story has to offer and you have never stopped wanting more. You enjoyed the story and encouraged me to keep writing. By looking up to me you made me want to achieve more and for that, I thank you. I love you both xx
To my family, I want to thank you for making me who I am today, I will never forget your part in my life because it is the reason that I stand here today, a loved woman. To Nanny A, Aunty Liz, Nanny Bryan and Aunty Glor, I will never forget what you have done for me in life xx
I want to thank my beautiful friend Sara. At a time where things were hard and seemed impossible, you encouraged me and helped me in ways that you probably weren’t even aware of. I turned to you in my time of need and you were there and for that I love you. You have believed in this idea every step of the way and I will never forget that, thank you xx
To my friend Shermara, I thank you for your support during this process, I will never forget it. You stuck with this story and read it to the end. You were so involved in the book and encouraged me every step of the way, making me feel as though I could achieve anything and for this I am truly grateful xx
To my good friend Nathan, I thank you for the amazing encouragement and wise words. Your texts and inspirational words have meant so much to me throughout this journey. Not only are you a good friend but also my brother in Christ. God Bless you xx
To my church, who have prayed with me and supported me on this journey, I thank you. I thank you for being an extended family to me, for showing me your unconditional love and support. Your prayers and kind words will never be forgotten.
To all of my amazing fans on wattpad, if it wasn’t for you I would have never believed in my writing so much and so I thank you for all of your amazing comments, messages and votes. It was your amazing support that helped me to create this book and so I thank you.
To Freesia Lockhart, thank you for your kind words and support during this time. You guided and supported me every step of this journey, you were never too busy to answer a question, give advice of just have a chat. Thank you for your kind spirit, I will never forget you or your amazing book xx
To everyone who has ever been in my life, I thank you and love you for playing a part in making me become who I am today, without you nothing would be possible because you were all a part of the bigger plan. God Bless xx
7
"Hey," I said as I pulled open the front door and saw him standing there looking more handsome than ever.
“Come on, we’ll talk upstairs,” I said as I led the way to my bedroom.
“So, I have something to tell you,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his strong neck. I felt like I had been waiting all day for him to arrive. The smile on my face probably gave away how excited I had been to see him. He was taller than I was and so I had to tip toe in order to reach his beautifully smooth lips. To my shock, he pulled away.
"What's wrong?" I asked as a feeling of rejection filled my body.
"Sit down," he said, sounding as though he was about to tell me the most terrible thing in the world.
"April, you and I are-"
"Are what?" I interrupted as I rose to my feet. Suddenly my stomach dropped, I knew what was coming.
"You and I are just, not compatible.”
"I don't understand..." I said, feeling as though someone had just stabbed me in the heart.
"It's not you-"
"Don't! Don't you dare give me the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. Do not patronize me Kyle," I said in a stern voice.
As I stood there staring at his guilt ridden face, the puzzle pieces slowly started to fit together.
"It's her isn't it?" I said, angrily.
"What do you mean?" He replied in a confused tone. Well in an attempt to sound confused.
"You know exactly what I mean. It's Rachel, isn't it?" I asked as I grabbed his cell phone from out of his hand.
"What the hell are you doing? Have you gone crazy?" He yelled as I proceeded to unlock his cell. I knew what I was looking for and so I just ignored him. Just as I had suspected, there were several text messages from her.
As I looked down at the words on the screen I felt sick to the stomach.
I miss you baby xx
I love you xxx
Can't wait to see you later xxxx
I closed my eyes. I didn't want to read anymore. I let the phone slip out of my clammy hand and as if my legs had lost all power, I sank to the floor.
"A
pril," he said in a low tone.
"Get out," I mumbled as I began staring at the floral pattern on my carpet. I hadn't noticed how detailed it was before. Every pattern interlocked with the next to form what looked like one large pattern. It amazed me how much detail there was. As if dragged back to reality, I heard the vibration of his broken voice yet again.
"April, I'm so sorry," he said with a sympathetic voice.
"Get out. Get out. Get out! Get out! Get out!" The louder I screamed, the faster the tears escaped out of my eyes and rolled down my hot cheeks. He was gone.
It's funny that whenever people talk about love they always talk about the butterflies, the excitement and the happy feelings that you get. Nobody ever explains what happens when that love comes to an end. Nobody ever tells you about the gap in your heart that you literally feel growing as the person that you love is taken away from you. No one tells you about the ache that encompasses the pit of your stomach, causing you to curl up into a ball. No one tells you that your eyes will begin to burn as the tears leak down your warm cheeks. No one ever explains the blocked nose or headache that you will get from crying all night. No one ever tells you that at some point, you will cry yourself to sleep, immersing yourself in darkness, until once again your eyes will snap open, bringing you back to a painful reality.
No one ever tells you any of this.
6 WEEKS LATER
"Look, April it's been six weeks now, you have got to snap out of this.”
As harsh as Crystal's words seemed, I knew that she was right. I knew that she only cared about me but I just wasn't ready. I wasn’t ready to face the word, not just yet anyway. Everything still reminded me of Kyle. Every song, every film, even my own room and I hated it. I wanted to wipe my mind free, erase him, but it was impossible.
"I know," I quietly mumbled down the receiver.
"Good, so you'll come?"
"I never said that," I quickly replied as a feeling of anxiety caused my chest to tighten. Facing Crystal was one thing but a whole crowd of people was another. Now that the summer was drawing to an end I would have to go back to school and face all of the questions. I had been preparing for that but what I wasn’t yet prepared for was a room full of wild, carefree teenagers.
"April, it's my sixteenth birthday and you're my best friend. It will ruin my entire night if you're not there!"
“I don’t know,” I mumbled as a feeling of guilt washed through my entire body.
“Ok then,” she replied in a hurt tone.
"Fine, I’ll come," I finally gave in. Deep down, I knew that she was right. Crystal and I did literally everything together to miss her party would be the ultimate friendship sin. I also couldn’t deny that I had missed her.
"Yes! This is going to be the best night ever! I love you, love you, love you!" She screamed down the other end of the phone. I moved the phone a couple of inches from my face, preventing any chance of losing my hearing.
"Ok, be ready for seven, I'll get my brother to pick you up! Eeeeek, I'm so excited!" She finally screamed before putting the phone down. Great, I thought to myself as I stared at the reflection in front of me.
The eyes that stared back at me were still sad. I thought that I'd be over Kyle by now but it was easier said than done. I wasn't one hundred percent comfortable about going tonight either. The idea of having everyone stare at me was not a particularly welcoming thought. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a knock at my door.
"Come in.”
"Hey honey," my mom said as she headed towards me.
“Hey Mom.”
"Look, I don't want to pressure you sweetie but you're young, you should be out having fun. I know that Kyle hurt you and that you’ve been through a lot lately but that's no reason to stop living your life. You should be out enjoying life with your friends. I know that you miss them," she said as she gazed sympathetically into my eyes. She had obviously caught part of my phone conversation.
Crystal could never understand how I could tell my mom so much, most teenagers would cringe at the idea of their mom even mentioning the word boy to them. I liked it though, it made me happy and she was always so gentle in her approach.
"I'm fine, honestly. I’m even going to Crystal's party tonight," I said as I tried to force a smile onto my face.
"Oh, well that's great," she replied with a surprised look on her face.
"Yeah," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.
"Well that's lovely sweetheart. I'm glad to see that you're having fun again. Do you need a lift there?"
"No, Aiden's picking me up.”
"That’s very nice of him. Well I think I'll go and see your Nan tonight then, since you and Bob will both be out," she replied with a smile spread across her soft pink lips.
"Where's he going?" I asked.
"Some silly poker game with his friends," she replied, looking rather displeased.
Gramps was quite the gambler from what Mom had told me and anything to do with gambling, she was completely opposed to. I didn't blame her.
Bob wasn't like that though, he was cool. He and my mom had been married for seven years and honestly, he was a good guy.
"Right I'm going to pick up some groceries, need anything?"
"No, I'm cool thanks," I replied.
"Ok, see you in a couple of hours sweetie," she said before kissing me on the forehead.
"Bye," I replied as I watched her slim frame disappear through the doorway.
* * *
Half six seemed to come around much faster than I would have liked it to. I stood still and glared up at my wooden closet. I hadn't been out in a while and my closet was certainly starting to reflect that. I picked up the black dress that hung before me and turned to face my mirror as I held it in front of me.
"Nope," I said to myself before throwing it on top of the growing pile on my bed.
I was getting frustrated now. I wasn't one for over dressing at parties, I just liked to be comfortable to be perfectly honest. As I peered down at the watch around my wrist I gasped as I realised that it was now quarter to seven. I quickly pulled out my pair of faded, blue, skinny jeans. I pulled them over my hips and looked for a top that could help to dress them up a little. Got it, I thought as I grabbed my blue halter neck top and quickly put it on. I took my small, blue, heeled shoes from the bottom of my closet, sat on my bed and then slipped them onto my feet. Once I had them on I stood back and gave myself the once over in the mirror.
Suddenly I heard the honking of a car horn as I was tying my hair up in a bun. I rose from my bed and parted my blinds. I spotted a silver mustang parked outside the front of my house. I looked over at Mrs Staple's house and saw her emerge from the window. She had a head full of different coloured rollers and was looking down at the car whilst shaking her head. She had obviously been sleeping, which made me laugh since it wasn't even seven yet. As if she could hear my thoughts she caught my gaze and then quickly disappeared, looking rather mortified by the fact that I had just seen her dressed in such ‘attire’. I giggled to myself.
I quickly grabbed my cell, keys and lip gloss and threw them into my blue purse. I grabbed my black leather jacket off of my bed and ran down the stairs.
"Are you going now, sweetie?" My mom asked as her head peered through the living room door.
"Yep.”
"Ok well have fun and if you need picking up just call," she said with a smile on her face.
"I'll be fine, thanks Mom," I replied, hoping that Crystal's plan was to get me a ride there and back.
"Oh, and don’t forget to say hi to Crystal and Aiden for me. I’m sure they’re missing their Aunty Kels by now," she added as I slipped through the front door, laughing at her comment.
“I’m sure they are and I will," I replied before shutting the door behind me and heading towards the car.
I felt slightly guilty since I was the reason that she hadn’t seen them. I spent the whole summer hiding away from everyone but it was what I needed.
As I stepped out of my front door I gasped. Aiden looked somewhat different to how I remembered. How can someone change that much in six weeks? Clearly the gym has become his new best friend.
I walked slowly over to the car, aware that his eyes were on me the entire time.
"Mustang mmm..." I said as I opened the car door with a smirk on my face.
"The word's hello and don't hate on the car, she might get upset," he said with a smirk on his face.
"So cars have feelings now?" I replied as I sat down in the passenger's seat.
I stared into his light brown eyes. He had changed so much. He wasn't how I'd remembered. My eyes were instantly drawn to his now athletic chest and muscular arms. He had on a tight white tee that seemed to hug his shape in all the right places. His jeans were a dark blue that fitted him nicely. As I watched the sun shine off of his dark brown hair I suddenly jumped. It was my phone vibrating.
I answered it and then lifted it up to my face.
"Hey, where are you?" An impatient voice questioned.
"I'm on my way, I've just stepped into the car," I answered. I could see Aiden staring at me out of the corner of my eye. He clearly found the fact that I had jumped rather amusing.
"Well, tell Aiden to get a move on, people are arriving and I want you here," Crystal demanded.
"Ok, I think he can hear you. I'll see you in five.”
"Good," she replied before hanging up the phone.
"And you can stop laughing," I said as I tried to force the grin off of my face.
Aiden was like this for as long as I could remember. When Crystal and I were little he would always make us laugh. I hadn’t seen him much lately since I had been in hiding. Even before that, Crystal spent most nights at my house, so I hadn’t been to hers in quite some time. He was also a junior and I was a sophomore, so it wasn't that often that our paths crossed.
That reminds me, I will be a junior once we go back on Monday, scary thought.
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