Pretend

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Pretend Page 8

by Charlene Antrobus


  "Firstly, this is not just about you it's about Mimi. I love her and all I care about and want is for her to get better. Secondly, I can see that you're sorry. I don't understand why you did what you did but I get that you're sorry and I'm ok with that. I can move on.”

  "I wish you were right but I can't forgive myself even if you can. You know, what we had was...It was like nothing I've ever had and I ruined that, all for the sake of needing to feel free," he said as though his own words had disappointed him.

  "It's ok, you don't need to explain.”

  "I do, I really do need to explain, to you. Me and you, we were great and you know what? I got scared. Scared that if I fell any deeper that I would get hurt and then I'd be that guy that doesn't know how to deal with any other girl because he's had his heart broken. Pathetic, right?" He sneered, more at himself than me.

  "Yes it is pathetic because you know that I would have never hurt you," I said feeling rather sad that he ever felt that I would have done that to him.

  "I know and then there was Rachel and she was just there. I know that isn’t an excuse but she just said all the things that I needed to hear, no commitment, nothing serious just fun and I thought that that was what I wanted.”

  "And was it?" I asked.

  "No. It didn't last long anyway, she soon wanted more and the more that she wanted, the more that I realised that she just wasn't you. I ended things with her the night of the party. I seriously screwed up," he said as he placed his hand on his forehead.

  "Yes you did but you can't change what is already done. Sometimes you have to just move forward and learn to forgive yourself," I said as I placed my hand under his chin and lifted his face up to look at mine.

  "Can I ask you something?" He said, staring directly into my eyes.

  "Yeah," I whispered.

  "Do you still love me?" He asked.

  "You know that's a silly question," I replied, now shifting my eyes to the floor.

  "Enough to forgive me?" He asked.

  "Enough to forgive you and still be friends, yes," I said, making sure to emphasis the word friends.

  "Oh," he replied in a sad tone.

  "It's Aiden isn't it?" He said.

  "Pardon?" I asked as his words took me by surprise.

  "There's something there, I can tell. I noticed it at Crystal's party even though I knew that you weren't really dating, I still saw something," he said, now looking at the grass again.

  "Oh, you knew that that wasn't real?" I asked in utter shock.

  "Of course, acting never was your strong point," he said as he let out a small laugh.

  "Hey," I said as I nudged him in the arm with my elbow and began laughing.

  "Is it really that obvious?" I asked as I felt my cheeks began to heat up.

  "Yes, probably because I know you so well. Look, April, I still love you but I want you to be happy and if Aiden makes you happy then that's just how it has to be," he said in a bid to sound positive.

  "Thank you," I said as I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled.

  "Of course I will be waiting for it to fail," he said as he began to laugh.

  "Yeah, thanks," I said as I messed up his blonde hair with my hand.

  "Just kidding," he said. I knew that he wasn't but I was thankful anyway.

  We sat silently in that position for a good hour before finally deciding to go and get ready. It felt nice and for the first time in weeks I was happy and it felt good.

  * * *

  We were both dressed, ready and on route to Kyle's house by quarter past eight. Kyle decided to shower at mine but wanted a fresh pair of clothes to wear to school so we decided that we would pass his house on the way there.

  "I'll be five minutes," he said before slamming the door of his black Audi TT, a Christmas present bought by his father of course.

  "Ok," I replied as I watched him take a few leaps up his path before disappearing through his front door.

  With all of the craziness of last night I didn't get the chance to talk to Aiden and I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. I feel awful for saying this but Aiden was just as much on my mind as Mimi was last night. I knew that he wouldn't have understood what had happened and I felt terrible for not getting the chance to explain.

  As I slipped my phone out of my black purse my stomach dropped as I realised that there was still no message from Aiden. I opened up a new message and began to type.

  Aiden, hey it's me, April, obviously. Look we really need to talk, I know that you think that there was something happening with me and Kyle last night but it wasn't, it's actually a really long and crazy story but the point is all I could think about last night was you. I wished so bad that we had kissed, I can't even begin to explain. I just really need to see you, so we can talk at some point today?

  xXAprilXx

  I stared at the screen for a while in doubt. This was exactly how I felt, it wasn't a lie and it's what I wanted to say. So why did it frighten the hell out of me when I thought about actually pressing send? After about a solid minute of gazing at the words on my screen I finally gave in to my fear and erased the whole message. I was such a chicken sometimes! I quickly typed a new message and pressed send.

  Hey, I think we need to talk...

  Not quite as informative as the last message but it would have to do.

  "Hey," Kyle said as he leapt inside of the car.

  "You scared the life out of me," I said as I slapped his arm and slipped my phone back into my bag.

  * * *

  We pretty much spent the entire journey in silence. I was quietly, listening for that sound that would let me know that Aiden had replied. It never came.

  As we pulled up in the school car park, that scary feeling that I had expected to feel never came. After everything that had happened lately, staring eyes and whispers in the corridor were the least of my worries.

  "You, ok?" I asked Kyle as I gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

  "Yeah, you?" He replied.

  "I'm ok. You will let me know if you hear anything about Mimi?" I asked as I stepped out of the car door.

  "Of course," he replied, throwing me a smile.

  "Thanks-"

  "Oh my gosh! You have got to be kidding me! Am I seeing what I think I am seeing?" Crystal interrupted as she stormed towards me and Kyle.

  As I looked over her shoulder I spotted Aiden stepping out of the car. They must have pulled up at the same time as us. This did not look good. Great!

  "Crystal, calm down," I tried to say as she continued on with her rant.

  "You said that you were staying away. I mean, when Aiden said that HE was outside of your house last night that was one thing but to come in together the next day!"

  "Crystal it is not what you think and will you be quiet, everyone is starting to stare," I shout, whispered at her.

  "No! I am so disappointed in you April! This guy cheats on you, rips your heart to shreds, makes a complete and utter idiot out of you and what do you do? You hand the cheater yourself on a plate!"

  I was usually very calm in situations such as these, always acting as the peace maker but I had just about had enough. For weeks now it seemed as though everyone was in control of my life except for me and I was fed-up with it! Suddenly something just snapped!

  "Shut the hell up!" I screamed, causing Crystal to freeze, which was something that I had never actually seen her do before.

  "I am so sick and tired of being told what to do by you and everyone else! Who do you think you are! You do not control me Crystal, despite what you may think in that stupid head of yours!"

  I heard her gasp and with that I stormed past her and walked away. I suddenly stopped in my tracks and turned back to face her, one last time. The anger had completely taken over.

  "And for your information, Mimi is in hospital and I was doing something that you should try sometime...Being a friend!" I could see the guilt that now consumed her entire face as she shifted her eyes to the ground, look
ing rather embarrassed.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't know," I heard her mutter, sounding more than just a little bit ashamed of herself.

  I quickly turned my eyes to Kyle and gave him a look that told him that I was sorry for all of the drama. He seemed to understand and so I turned back around and tried to find Aiden. He conveniently disappeared as soon as Crystal's words had hit the atmosphere.

  As I walked up to the school building, that I had dreaded returning to all summer, I wanted nothing more than to burst inside. I quickly began to scan the halls in search of Aiden but it was as if he had disappeared off of the face of the earth.

  I continued to push through the crowds of girls screaming because they had just seen their friends after summer break, guys chatting up girls, people being thrown into lockers and having money stolen and teachers shouting to students, telling them to get into class. Everything was definitely back to normal.

  As I had finally given up on finding Aiden a smile appeared on my face as I spotted him standing by a row of lockers by his friends. As I started to walk towards him, I suddenly froze in my tracks as Cayce Hellman slid in front of him. My stomach dropped as I watched her slip her arms around his strong neck, flicking her chocolate brown hair in the air. I couldn't hear exactly what she was saying to him but from the high pitch tone in her voice, I knew that she was flirting. As if he knew that I was watching him, his eyes quickly lifted and met mine. I could see the hurt in his light brown eyes and then in a matter of seconds they turned cold and dark, then he turned his gaze back to Cayce's face. I knew that he was angry with me but surely he would give me the chance to explain, wouldn’t he? Wrong. I watched as he wrapped his strong hand around her waist and laughed at whatever stupid joke that she was telling him. I knew that he was just as aware of my presence as I was his. As my entire body filled with anger, I did the only thing that I could do.

  I walked away...

  AIDEN’S POINT OF VIEW

  The thought of kissing April had my mind racing all over the place. The very fact that she was now sat in my car, in front of me provided me with an opportunity that I simply couldn't resist.

  As I pulled up on the sidewalk I saw the shocked expression on her face. Even when she was pulling stupid faces, she still looked beautiful.

  "What are you doing? We're like two minutes from my house," she said after staring at me in what appeared to be disbelief.

  "I know," I said as I took in all of her features. I couldn't help but notice how her nose scrunched up when she was confused or the way that her hazel eyes glistened as she gazed into mine. My heart was beating so hard in my chest that I had to take deep breaths to control it. To say that I wasn't excited would be a lie.

  Suddenly we were both silent, keeping our eyes focused on one another. As I gently unbuckled my seatbelt I watched as her eyes traced my every move. I knew that she wanted exactly the same thing that I did. It seems crazy but I just couldn't look away from this girl. I was breaking every rule in the manual right now. This was my sister's best friend and every dude knows that that's off limits, so why was I crossing the line?

  Since Crystal's party, April was the only thing on my mind, no matter what I did, it was crazy. I can't explain why but I wanted her so bad and I was willing to break every rule in the book just to have her. As I slowly lifted my body off of my seat and drew nearer to her I could literally hear her breathing. As I allowed my fingers to trace her arm I felt her shudder at my touch. To say that it was sexy was an understatement. I examined the expression on her face and I knew that she was thinking exactly what I was. I gently let my hand make its way to her cheek. As I caressed her soft skin I felt like an electric bolt had just been sent through my entire body. I had to keep my cool and control myself. I didn't get how she could make me feel like this. As I watched the strands of her silky blonde hair dangle over her plump lips, it made me want them even more. I slid the loose strands of her hair behind her ear and slowly began to close the gap between us. I allowed a smile to form on my lips as I watched her close her eyes, inviting me to exactly where I wanted to be. I don't know whether it was excitement or what but my hand quickly slipped down her body and griped her curvy waist. Her body felt amazing to touch. Every curve, every angle was better than the next and I wanted it all, I wanted her. I closed my eyes and drew nearer. This was it, no going back.

  Suddenly my dream was shattered as the vibration of her stupid phone interrupted us.

  I let out a frustrated sigh as I felt her slip out of my grip as she gently pulled away.

  "Sorry," she whispered as she fiddled with her purse, trying to retrieve her cell. I slumped back in my seat and stared out of the window.

  As she stared at the screen of her phone, her face turned red and she let out a heavy sigh.

  "Let me guess," I said, feeling pretty annoyed that, that idiot had found his way in yet again.

  "Let me just hear what he's got to say," she replied as she looked at me with a guilty expression on her face.

  I didn't bother to respond instead I just kept my head straight and looked out of the window.

  "What?" She said as she picked up the phone.

  I couldn't hear what he was saying, but from the look on her face it was obviously some pointless crap.

  "No, look I'm busy so-"

  Suddenly she was cut off by something that he'd said. Her face turned red, she screamed something and then threw her phone back into her purse.

  "What?" I asked even though I was seriously annoyed and not really interested in anything to do with Kyle.

  "He's outside of my house," she replied in a frustrated tone.

  "Great," I replied, sarcastically as I started up the car and headed towards her house.

  Every damn time he just comes crawling back! When will she learn that he's just a moron who uses her when he's bored of the last chick. Annoyed didn't even begin to describe my feelings right now.

  As we approached her house and I saw him stood there like some lost puppy my blood began to boil. I wanted to step out of the car and punch him in his face. All she had to do was ask. To think that we lost that moment for him was a joke!

  "Stay here," she asked.

  I was too angry to answer her and so I just sat in silence, ignoring her request. As soon as she steps out of the car, it means that she chooses him and so I'm leaving anyway.

  "Please?" She asked as she stared at me, pleading with her eyes.

  Those damn eyes, I should have never looked. Saying no when I wasn't looking at her was one thing but when I saw those eyes, staring at me, my heart skipped a beat and it was impossible to say no.

  "Ok," I answered, reluctantly.

  "Thank you, I'll be two minutes," she said as she stepped out of the car.

  As the door shut I felt a vibration in my pocket followed by the all too familiar sound of my iphone. I lifted my body off of the chair, pulled my phone out of my back pocket and sat back down. As I looked at the screen and saw Cayce's name, my annoyance grew stronger.

  This chick is more persistent than the FBI. I don't know how many times I have to tell her that we aren't getting back together before it actually sinks in. I slid my finger across the screen and began to read the text.

  What are you doing tonight? Fancy some company?

  As I stared at the words on the screen, I shook my head and let out a small laugh. Comparing Cayce to April was no contest. Cayce was what was known as the girl that you call when you 'want some', which is why we never worked out because someone always wanted some and she was always there. I pressed the sleep button and placed the phone back into my pocket.

  As I looked back up my entire body suddenly felt like it was on fire. The anger inside of me was making my heart race so fast that I thought that it might explode. As I watched April and Kyle in each others’ arms I started up the car and drove off.

  I raced down the road, back to my house. What should have been a six minute journey I had somehow turned into three. I slammed the car door shu
t as I got out and stormed up the path towards my front door. I felt like I wanted to break something, I was that angry.

  How could I be so stupid?

  Why the hell am I allowing a chick to make me feel like this?

  I was acting like a werewolf from one of them shows, who had just seen someone else with their hands all over his mate. I was so glad that my mom would be working late and that Crystal was out, I needed some time to calm down and think.

  As the anger filled my entire body, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. I opened up Cayce's text and began to reply.

  Yeah, I got a free house

  I didn't even want her but right now I needed a distraction and that's exactly what she would be. As I felt my phone buzz in my hand, I wondered if this chick just sat by her phone all day waiting for calls and messages to come through.

  Be there in half an hour xx

  I ran up the stairs, took my clothes off in my bedroom and walked into the bathroom. I quickly set the shower and stepped in. As the sprays of water beat against by body all I could see was images of April in Kyle's arms. My mind wanted to wonder off to what they were doing right now but I wouldn't allow it. I was trying to calm down and somehow I don't think that would help.

  After about twenty minutes, I was dressed, ready and heading down the stairs. As I went to walk into the kitchen I heard the doorbell ring. Boy, this chick was eager.

  As I opened the door I was greeted by a high pitched and rather annoying voice.

  "Hey gorgeous," she said as she invited herself in.

  "Hey," I said as I stared at her. She had on a tight, white tank top, a short black skirt, white, plastic looking shoes with like six inch heels and the brightest shade of red lip stick that I have ever seen. To most guys this would be so appealing but for some reason it was anything but that for me.

  "Mmmm, checking me out are you Mr Daniels?" She said as she flicked her chocolate brown hair and smiled. As she bent down in front of me, taking off her heels, I let out a sigh. April always calls me Mr Daniels, it sounds great coming out of her mouth but out of Cayce’s it just sounds cheap.

 

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