Another scent drew his mind away from that odious thought. He inhaled deeply, letting his mind work at what he was scenting, pulling his head back with a snort of disbelief. His hackles rose, and Mattayas forced them back and buried his snout for a better source scent.
It was young... She’d brought the young from her den? That made no sense. This scent wasn’t of a toddling young. It was infant smells. No bitch brought out cubs so young. Not Wul and not Lyx, either.
What reason could a bitch have for doing so? The reason was slow coming but powerful in its surety. The young were his, newly-born no doubt. If Anha brought them out, she meant to run...to save them from her pack mates.
Where would she run?
His heart stuttered in the possibility that she’d come to him. He wanted to dismiss it, but it stuck. If Anha went to the den in track of him, she’d be killed. My young will be.
That quickly, he was in motion. There was no sign of her in Wul lands, and Mattayas relaxed, taking human form and dragging on his clothing and boots.
She hadn’t done something as foolish as coming here. Where else could she go?
The great metal fences were to the south. No intelligent animal wanted to pass them. Humans were said to be plentiful beyond them.
He shifted uneasily at the final possibility. She could have gone to the cursed lands. There was no other choice for a bitch in her situation.
But, the cursed lands... It was said that those who went there never returned. Was there some foe there? One that didn’t range but guarded its territory jealously? Just the thought of Anha and his young being hunted by such a creature brought his hackles up and ripped a growl from his throat.
Mattayas took off for the scentless border at a run, pausing only moments at the unnatural barrier before he crashed through in search of what was his.
* * * *
Mattayas wasn’t certain why he felt he was traveling the right direction. The cursed lands were unnatural in their lack in intelligent mark. There was no scent of Wul, nor was there scent of Lyx. One moment, he would be absolute in his belief that he’d scented one or the other. The next, there was nothing but lower creatures. It was driving him mad.
A howl sounded deep in the wood to his right...to the east, and the fur at his hackles rose in response. A cat’s growl came from the opposite quarter, and he turned that way...just in time to catch a rattle from the south and a birdcall from the north.
What was once an absence was now a cacophony. Sounds overlapped sounds, too many to be counted. Mattayas couldn’t track one sound for the multitude.
He turned toward the west, prepared to bolt toward the sound of Lyx he’d first heard. Hopefully, that trail would lead him to Anha and her young.
The blade tips at his chest and throat stopped him. More pressed to his ribs and spine, the soft tissue of his abdomen...and one between his thighs.
The sensation, coupled with the abrupt cessation of all noise, made him dizzy. Faces and scents cleared slowly, bitches and bucks of both Lyx and Wul of a den together...or perhaps of mixed breed. Mattayas couldn’t tell which was the truth.
“What do you seek, Wul buck?” an elder bitch that he believed was Lyx asked.
“I seek a female who passed through not long ago...a bitch with cubs.”
Angry growls of both types rose around him.
The bitch waved them to silence, her expression fierce and unforgiving. “Bitches with cubs do not come to the cursed lands, buck. Fems with cubs or bitches with kits do. Which is it you seek?”
His mouth went dry. It was a serious insult he’d offered, apparently.
“Buck?”
“A...a fem. I didn’t know the proper form of address,” he admitted.
“Send him away or kill him, Siya,” another bitch—or is she fem?—interjected. “He will never find peace here.”
“Wait,” Mattayas begged. “I meant no offense by—”
“You do not even address the one you seek with respect.”
“I didn’t know—”
“Silence,” the elder ordered. She seemed to consider Mattayas carefully.
The tension was too much for him. “Please...I seek Anha.”
“We know who you seek,” the younger snapped.
“Silence!” She turned her gaze to Mattayas again. “So, you know the fem’s name. You deign to use it, buck. Perhaps there is hope for you yet.”
Mattayas’s heart skittered. He nodded silently, hoping not to anger her again.
“Siya, you cannot—”
The elder ignored her. “Why did you come here, buck?”
How could he answer that? There was no rational answer he could make to it. “For Anha,” he breathed.
“To take her from here?”
He shook his head, his face burning. “My people would kill her. Hers would kill me. Both would kill the cubs.”
“Then why come for her?”
His frustration welled. “Because I see and smell and taste her, awake and asleep. I cannot forget her, mad as it is.”
“It’s more important to you than your den and sire? More important than your dam and brothers?”
“Would I be in this cursed place if it wasn’t?”
Silence fell, absolute silence.
“Present your arms to those behind you for binding.”
“Siya!”
“The choice is Anha’s. Either the buck will take his place among us, at her side...or he will die.”
She waited for Mattayas’s reaction to that.
He hesitated only a moment. “They’ll have to move a few of the blades. Otherwise, I cannot move my arms.”
Siya smiled and motioned; half the blades at his back disappeared. Mattayas offered his arms, wincing as the bindings pulled tight around his wrists.
“Should we cover his eyes?” a buck asked.
“No. As one of us or dead... Either way, the knowledge of where we sleep won’t matter.”
Mattayas forced his muscles looser. If he didn’t have Anha, he’d be mad, and death would be a blessing.
Siya cocked her head. “No rethoughts, buck?”
He shook his head. “None.”
* * * *
Anha raised her head, frowning at the ruckus from the tunnels. There was laughter, but it was dark and cruel. Shouts went up, but she couldn’t make out the words.
She reached for her sons. Something horrible was happening, and Anha wasn’t certain they were safe here.
“Anha?” Siya called. “May I enter?”
She swallowed hard, looking back at her sons one last time, then standing to place herself in a protective stance between them and whatever was behind the cloth door. “Enter, Siya,” she replied.
The older fem pushed through the door. She scanned Anha’s position then smiled. “You still don’t trust us.”
“Did you? The first days after you were cast out, did you trust? Or did you run, as I did?”
“I ran. Two of my four cubs survived it.”
Anha nodded. “I am sorry for your loss.”
“It was decades ago.”
A silence fell between them, and Anha shifted uncomfortably.
“Tell me about the sire,” Siya invited.
“Mattayas,” she breathed. Her heart beat a little faster, and Anha tried to shake off the arousal that thoughts of him ignited. She swore she could smell him, even now.
“You knew him, then.”
“Only long enough.” She shook her head. “No. His lesser toms...I mean bucks, pardon the lapse. They called him by name.”
“If you could see him again? What would you do, Anha?”
She shrugged. “He is Wul, Siya. He has no feelings for me.” Her heart ached at the truth of it.
“You came to love half-Wul cubs,” she pressed.
“They are mine, no matter what else they are. Surely, you know that.”
“Then you feel nothing for this Wul buck...Mattayas?”
Anha couldn’t meet her eyes. Why would
Siya ask such a thing? “Does it matter?” There were Wul and Lyx who had mated in the cursed lands. Would such a thing damn her in their eyes?
“Yes. I’m afraid it does.”
Siya pulled back the cloth, and a tom staggered through, seemingly pushed from behind. He landed hard on his knees, jerking himself back just in time to save himself from a sprawl on his face. His hands were tied behind him, but he appeared uninjured.
Just when Anha was about to question this move, he raised his head and stared at Anha.
Her knees deserted her, and Anha landed on her backside on the edge of the bed, by the grace of Luna alone missing her sons. “Mattayas.” It came out a gasp, and her body forgot how to breathe.
“It matters, Anha. It matters to Mattayas. His life is in your hands.”
* * * *
Mattayas watched the color drain from her face with a tightening in his gut.
Siya droned on, but he didn’t hear her. He supposed she was explaining the power Anha held over Mattayas to the young fem.
Silence fell, and Anha nodded to something.
“Well, Anha?” Siya offered silkily.
“I can’t,” she gasped.
Mattayas closed his eyes and bowed his head. He’d been a fool to think she felt anything for him but hatred.
“You cannot accept him, and you wish me to kill the buck?” Siya asked.
“I cannot do that,” Anha replied.
Mattayas snapped his head up, opening his eyes to lock her in his gaze. Anha bit at her lower lip, seemingly torn.
“You cannot watch him die, and you will accept him?”
Anha’s eyes widened, and the scent of panic tainted the air.
Siya sighed. “Or perhaps...you feel unequal to such a choice while you’re so confused about his drive to come here? You barely know each other, after all. There are answers you must have that may sway your choice?”
“Yes.” Anha’s shoulders relaxed, and she suddenly appeared weary.
She would be weary. She’s had no buck to aid her in raising the cubs.
Siya nodded curtly. “Such discussions are private. We will not be far...if you need us, Anha.”
“She won’t,” Mattayas vowed.
Anha gaped at him, but she didn’t question his comment. She was still staring long after Siya withdrew.
Mattayas let his gaze wander to the tangle of miniature limbs and fur, half-covered by blankets. He ached to see the young closer.
These are my cubs. Yet, he had no idea how many there were, how old they were, what sexes they were. The slight scent of male musk attested that at least one of them was a buck. Beyond that, he knew nothing.
“Why did you come here?” she whispered.
“Why did you take me as you did?” he countered.
That question had plagued him for more than half a year. Were Lyx fems really so different that their heat made them receptive to any male? Or did she feel something for Mattayas in particular? Could he trust his memories of that night? Those memories spoke of a preference for Mattayas that she hadn’t extended to even the Lyx buck.
Anha didn’t reply. A glance at her showed her confusion and misery.
If she was going to accept him, there had to be truth between them. “I cannot explain why I had to have you, either,” he admitted. “But I had to.”
She winced, blinking back what were probably tears.
“I’ve wanted you every hour since.”
“You...you have? You did?”
“Every minute. I risked my life to invade Lyx land for scent of you, as often as I dared. I dreamed of finding you alone and about and taking you again...especially once I scented that you carried.”
She took a calming breath. “And...and you came here because...”
“Come to me,” he requested.
Anha hesitated.
“I am at your mercy, Anha.” In more ways than one.
She moved slowly, sliding to the floor then easing toward him. Mattayas held his ground, though every instinct called him to get her beneath him, every curve pressed to him, bound hands or not.
Anha reached his side, and Mattayas buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent. She stiffened, her breathing ragged.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered.
The tension in her muscles eased. Mattayas pressed his lips to her neck, tracing the raised ridges of his mating bite. His arms tensed in the need to embrace her and he bit back a growl in frustration.
She trembled against him, leaning into him so that her milk-swollen breasts teased him through their clothing. Anha turned her head, and Mattayas pulled back, his lips skimming her chin then her lips.
They parted, inviting him in. Mattayas obliged her with a growl of arousal. The kiss rivaled their first: hot, hard, full of sexual promise.
He broke away, nipping at her skin then her shirt, hinting that she should remove it. When she didn’t, he trailed his mouth down to the peak of a primary nipple, sucking gently, growling again at her cry of pleasure, muted as it was behind clenched lips.
“Do you feel it?” he asked. “Do you burn?”
Her hands threaded through his hair and drew his face back up, as if she meant to kiss him again. “I burn,” she confirmed.
She trembled much as she had that night, but he found himself arguing again what he’d argued all these months: was she trembling in a fierce need or in fear of him?
“I am at your mercy, Anha. You can do anything with me you wish.”
She went still, her breath warming his cheek. Was she considering his offer or considering ripping his throat out as he’d ripped her buck’s throat out? If she chose to kill him, could he blame her for it? He’d cost her everything she’d held dear—her male, her family, her den...
Her hand settled over his cock, stroking up and down. Mattayas thrust his hips up, urging her on.
Anha pushed down on his shoulders, guiding him to his heels so that she was higher than he was. She straddled him, bringing the heat of her core to his cock. Mattayas thrust up reflexively, his mind spinning. Luna, but he wanted her to mount him, still bound for her as she’d been for him.
Her mouth merged with his, hungry, seeking more. She worked at the buttons down his chest, one small hand delving inside and tracing rigid muscle...and a peal of laughter filled the air.
Anha broke off the kiss, snapping her head around. She vaulted off his lap, turning to the low bed, her cheeks glowing crimson.
Mattayas took a moment to compose his wits, wondering at the change in her. “Do Lyx kits not see their dam in heat with a buck?” he inquired. He knew little of their customs.
She paused. “They do.”
“Then we moved too fast. You’re uncomfortable.”
“We were supposed to talk, Mattayas.”
“Then we will.”
Anha turned to him, a young buck on her hip. His eyes were a brown that closely matched Mattayas’s, and his hair was red-black. The cub looked at him curiously.
“What is his name?” he managed.
“This is Missayan.”
He glanced toward the sleeping cubs. “And the others?”
“Mittayan and Thomayan.”
Mattayas nodded. “There are three then?”
Anha stiffened.
His heart sank. “There were more?” Were they born dead? Killed by her pack mates? Killed in her bid for escape? Of illness? Or perhaps while she was unprotected in the cursed lands?
It’s my fault. However it happened, it’s my fault that it did.
“No. Only the three.” She shifted from foot to foot as if preparing to duck an attack.
Revelation came in a flash, not unlike lightning outlining a foe in the pitch of a moonless night. “How many did I sire, Anha? How many are of your buck?”
Anha eased further to the side, taking a protective stance before the still-sleeping young.
“Anha...please...” Was he begging now? Begging for the tiniest details about the brood she’d
birthed?
“You should leave,” she whispered, in apparent misery.
“I can’t.” Even if Siya wouldn’t kill him, he couldn’t leave now.
She sank to the bed, drawing the cub to her chest as if she took comfort from their son. “Oh...yes. Acceptance or death. I forgot.”
“Why won’t you tell me?”
Anha stared at him.
Working his way to the answer took him longer that time. “Your bucks kill the young of others?” he asked, aghast at the concept.
“If they feel they have a claim on the fem who bore them. Your bucks don’t?” It seemed to surprise her.
“We rear those who aren’t our own,” he informed her. “Orphaned young...bitches who have no buck to help them care for their young.” Surely, he could raise the slain buck’s young out of Anha.
“Our fems do likewise, but the toms are another matter.”
Mattayas waited, barely breathing.
“Two are yours,” she offered. “The last... I believe I always knew it. Thomayan was the only one I named...” She darkened, her eyes widening.
“You named the other two for me?” His heart leapt at that.
She cleared her throat, averting her eyes. “Think nothing of it.”
He bit back a smile. “May I?”
Confusion creased her brow.
“May I see them?”
“All of them?” He seemed to surprise her at every turn of the conversation.
Mattayas sighed. “I am not one of your Lyx bucks—”
“Toms,” she corrected him.
Mattayas forced his voice to emerge calmly. “Toms. I don’t like that you bore his kit and my cubs together. For that matter, I don’t like that I killed your tom, in the first place, but—”
“You don’t?” Her voice rose an octave at that.
“No,” he admitted. “There was no glory in killing him. He’d surrendered to protect you. We had the advantage. We had numbers and—”
“Which you didn’t use,” she interrupted.
“He was nude, Anha. I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Then why did you?”
* * * *
Nothing he was saying made sense, but Anha had to hear it all. When he didn’t answer, she asked the question again.
Animal Instincts Page 4
