“Jesus.” He grunted and moved harder, faster, and smoother inside of her, his hands flexing on her butt. “You feel…too…fucking…good. Addicting.”
She wanted to reply, she really did.
But all she could manage was a strangled groan that came out more like a sob. The tension building inside her tightened, and every nerve in her body tingled, until she was sure something had to give or she’d die. He kissed her again, thrusting inside her, and slid his hand between them to press against her clitoris.
She screamed into his mouth, stars bursting in front of her as she came stronger than she’d ever come before. The second she flew into the sky, he tensed, too, and his whole body stiffened. He let out a string of curses and collapsed on top of her, his heart thumping against hers. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close even though she shouldn’t. He didn’t move away.
If anything, he snuggled closer.
After a few minutes, he let out a long sigh. “Jesus, Maggie.” He lifted up on his elbows and stared down at her, his blue eyes somehow darker and stormier than she’d ever seen them. “That was fucking incredible.”
She smiled at him shyly, loving how he lost himself in her arms enough to let the f-bomb fly without apologizing. “It was.”
He smoothed her hair and smiled back at her tenderly. Like, really smiled at her. Dimples and all. Even his eyes shone with happiness. His smiles always stole her breath away, but this time he did more than that. He stole her soul, too, like some sort of ninja. “Still think I’m the worst mistake you ever made?” he asked.
Her head was spinning, and she was a mess of emotions, confusion, and a little bit of fear. “Nope.”
“Progress.” He kissed her lightly, pulling back way too soon. He was still smiling, and his eyes were still unguarded. “Good.”
She ran her fingers over his hard biceps and glanced away. “But it doesn’t have to change anything if you don’t want it to. This could happen again, or it could be a one time only thing, and we go back to being friends.” The more she spoke, the stiffer he got on top of her. Yet she kept on talking because once she started, she couldn’t stop. It was like a verbal bomb exploded inside her. “I don’t expect anything out of you at all, just because you saw me naked. I’m one hundred percent okay with going back to the way things were, if that’s what you want.”
“Are you now? How great to know.” He rolled off her and rested a hand on his flat stomach. His jaw flexed as he stared up at the ceiling at nothing in particular. He seemed so closed right now, with no emotion whatsoever showing on his face, so she had no idea what was going through his head. Like freaking usual. “I get it. You’ve been hurt by some jackass before. But I’m not that guy.”
“I know you’re not him.” She swallowed and fought the urge to cover herself with something. Talking about something so vulnerable while being so, well, naked, was not her idea of fun. She played with a piece of her hair and pursed her lips, trying to pretend like it wasn’t awkward at all to be talking to her boss-slash-fake fiancé-slash-real lover, while naked no less, about her poor life choices. So she let out a nervous laugh. “You could say I don’t exactly have the best track record with men, like, ever. At all.”
He rubbed his chin and turned to her. She stared up at her ceiling fan, which wasn’t even moving. “Have you ever loved anyone?” he asked.
“Wow,” she said, laughing uneasily again. She tugged on a piece of hair and wrapped it around her finger, fighting the panic rising in her chest. Where the heck was he going with this? She couldn’t think of a single reason why he’d ask her that. “Deep talk. Are you sure we’re ready for this? I mean, we literally just finished having sex for the first time.”
“I think it’s a great time, because you said that you didn’t think I was a mistake.” He rolled off the bed, walked over to the trash can, disposed of the condom, and then picked up his pants. After stepping into them, he buttoned and zipped them up, and smoothed his hair. He looked unbelievably, undeniably, hot as hell. “After which you immediately tried to run away.”
“I didn’t run.” She held her hands out. “I didn’t even get out of bed.”
“Doesn’t mean you weren’t running.” He frowned at her, catching her gaze and refusing to let go. “You’re pushing me away again, just like you do every time I get too close to you. It’s getting really fucking old, Maggie.”
Had she done that?
Yeah, okay. She kind of had, but it wasn’t an intentional slight.
It was just…habit.
In her experience, once men got what they wanted—aka sex—they were done with you. She’d given him that, so it was only a matter of time till he left, or did something drastically horrible to ruin everything.
It’s what men did.
Especially the ones she dated.
“I’m sorry,” she said. It wasn’t enough, but it was true. “I didn’t mean to do that. To hurt you.”
He didn’t reply, just rolled his hands into tight fists. She knew she’d messed up everything with her knee jerk reaction to the way he made her feel, so she swallowed hard and stared at the fan again. It was safer than looking at him. It didn’t offer much distraction, but she did notice she needed to dust it. And—
He let out an irritated sound. “Look at me.”
She fisted the comforter underneath of her and slowly turned to him, as he’d requested. He wasn’t naked anymore, while she was, and it felt weird.
Sitting up, she hugged her knees, trying to shield herself in more ways than one. “What do you want from me, Benjamin?”
“You. Just you.” He must’ve read something in her expression, because he picked up her robe and tossed it at her. She caught it easily. “You say one thing, and then do another, and I have no damn clue what you want from me. You’ve been hurt before, and you’re scared to risk letting another man in. But you’ve got to try, or we don’t stand a chance in hell of making it outside this room. Can you do that? Can you let me in?”
Her throat throbbed, and she could feel tears looming. Not because she was upset or in pain, but because he got her. Like, really got her, and that was both frightening and enlightening all at once. She shrugged into her robe and hugged it closed. “You’re right. I am scared. But that’s because I see how—”
“How this ends,” he finished.
She swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
“Bullshit.” He dragged his hand through his hair and sat beside her. Reaching out, he caught both her hands in his. “You can’t know how something is going to end before it even begins. It’s not humanly possible.”
“I think it began a while ago, so it’s not too hard to understand what comes next.”
“So what happens now?” He squeezed her fingers. “Go on. Tell me.”
She lifted a shoulder. “You got what you wanted, so you leave.”
He let her go. “Excuse me?”
“Sex.” She bit her tongue. “You got it, and now you’ll move on.”
“Is that really what you think of me?” he asked quietly. He sounded…hurt. She turned to him. His blue eyes were dark and haunted. “Do you think I fucked you, and now I’m finished with you? Just like that?”
“Not to hurt me, or anything. It’s not anything personal. It’s just…” She bit her lip. “It’s how guys are. I get it.”
“Jesus, Maggie.” His jaw tightened and he shook his head, picking up his shirt angrily. The muscles in his arm were hard and the veins stuck out. “I had no idea you had such a poor opinion of me.”
“It’s not you,” she said quickly. Tightening her fingers on her knees, she tried to think how best to get him to understand what she meant. “It’s me.”
He laughed. “Wow. I’ve never had that used on me before.”
“N-No. I’m not breaking it off with you. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“What the fuck do you want, Maggie?” He held his arms out. “You want me to stay, or to go? Care, or not care? Tell me what you want
, and it’s yours.”
She wrung her hands. It was all or nothing. She had to open up, and let him in, and hope he didn’t make her regret it. “I want you to stay, to care, but that scares me. It scares me a lot.”
“Why?” He white-knuckled his shirt. “Because I’m such an uncaring beast?”
“You’re right. Because every time I’ve let someone into my heart, all it’s done is given him a weapon to use against me. And nine times out of ten? He used that weapon.”
“Who used the weapon on you, Maggie?”
“Who didn’t?” She lifted a shoulder. It wasn’t easy to talk about this, but he deserved the truth. “I told you about one of my exes, but what you don’t realize is they’ve all hurt me. They’ve all done horrible things. The one before the last one not only broke my heart, he tore it to shreds. Slept with my best friend back home, right in front of me, but I was too stupid to notice. And when I finally did see it? He didn’t even stop. Just invited me to join. She laughed at me. So did he. The guy before him literally stole from me. My wallet. My TV. All of it.”
Benjamin sat down, watching her. “I’m not that kind of guy.”
“Maybe not. But there have been other guys like him. Every man I’ve trusted with my heart has broken it. Broken me or robbed me.” She tapped her fingers on her thighs restlessly, because she’d just bared her soul, and it scared her more than he did. “So, I don’t let myself care anymore. I push people away before they get close enough to hurt me. But with you, it’s harder than usual. I want to care. I want to let you in. That’s the God’s honest truth.”
“Maggie…” he said, his face closed off.
She laughed lightly. “And the worst part is, I can never tell what you’re thinking. You say you need me with one breath, but with the next you act as if you wouldn’t even blink if I left you. I can’t freaking read you.”
For a few seconds, he didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge her words at all. She thought he would leave without answering. But he dropped his shirt and climbed back into the bed. Cupping her face, he smiled at her gently. He didn’t look anything like the beast that had once roamed the halls of the office, looking for prey.
“I can usually read your reactions,” he said, “but I can’t predict them ahead of time. And that’s new for me. So we’re both in uncharted territory, here. And I don’t like to let people in, either. I don’t really know how. No one ever let me in, so I didn’t want to, either.”
She pressed her lips together. “And yet you want me to do it for you?”
“Because I’m doing it for you.” He let out a long breath. “With you, I drop all my acts and pretenses. I’m the real me. The one I’ve become so good at hiding. Gales don’t show emotion. It’s just not done. And once my dad died, I stopped. I’ve been trying to be this person I’m not, but around you—I can be me, Maggie. You have no idea how fucking good that feels.” He ran his thumb over her jaw. “But I’m not trying to hurt you, and I don’t want a weapon to use against you. If you trust me, and let me in, I swear not to use that against you. That’s the last thing I’d do. I want to make you happy, not sad.”
Her heart lurched, and she swallowed hard, finally locking gazes with him. “Benjamin…”
“Let me try something.” He closed his eyes, and when he looked at her again…she forgot to breathe. What she saw there was honesty, and happiness. For the first time, he opened himself up to her. “There. I’m letting you in too, see? So we both have a weapon in our hands, ready to strike or lay down on the floor. What do you say about that?”
Her heart raced. It was time to let go of the past hurts and to trust Benjamin. Time to take a chance again. Wrapping her fingers around his wrists, she nodded once. “Drop it on the floor.”
“Done.” His hold on her tightened. “What about you? Will you stop pushing me away every time I get too close?”
“Yes.” She bit her lip. “I promise.”
Grinning, he wrapped her in his arms and rolled her beneath him. Her heart thudded against her ribs, hard and quick, and he slid his hand under her butt. “I won’t make you sorry. I swear it.”
He kissed her, and she clung to that statement, and to the way he made her feel. For the first time in years she let herself hope that something as impossible as a happy ending between the two of them could happen. And she didn’t let go.
She took a chance.
Chapter Thirteen
Two days later, the town car pulled up in front of the Richard Rogers Theatre, and Benjamin stole a glance at Maggie. After their talk the other night, they made love again, and he held her till she fell asleep. And amazingly enough, he’d spent the night, too.
And he hadn’t let her go.
The next night, they went to a gala, and she did great. His mother hadn’t been at that one, so for the most part they were able to relax and enjoy one another—she even made a few friends. Elizabeth had been there again, but she hadn’t had a chance to get him alone. She’d simply stared from a distance, her icy blue glare zeroed in on Maggie.
She had barely noticed, though. She’d been too busy dazzling everyone around her…including him. The more time Benjamin spent with her, the more sure he became of the decision he’d made when he’d begged—yes, he wasn’t too proud to admit he’d begged—her to let him in. This feeling he had in his gut, the one that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he tried to shove it down?
He had an inkling what it would turn into given time, if he let it.
It was too soon to be sure, but this feeling was strong, and could really become something huge. Life changing. He should probably be worried about that, or at least a little bit apprehensive about taking something fake and turning it into something real, but he wasn’t.
It felt right.
Maggie picked up her purse and held it to her chest. She wore a soft pink dress, and a pair of black heels. Her hair was swept to the side, with loose strands escaping to frame her face. Effortlessly beautiful, as always. “What are we seeing, again? I can’t remember.”
“I forget the name, but it’s a show about choices. It’s off Broadway now, but it’s a special performance for charity.” He opened the door and climbed out into the brisk night. “It’s about a woman and the way two parallel lives play out based on a decision she makes in the beginning of the show.”
She slid her hand into his and let him help her out onto the sidewalk. “Wow, okay.”
“What?”
“Well, it just kind of reminds me of the other night at my place. That was a pretty big choice Friday night, right?” She shot him a nervous smile, as if uncertain of her words. “We both decided to take this thing we have, roll with it, and hope for the best.”
He swallowed hard and squeezed her fingers. “Yeah, we did, didn’t we?”
Something flashed across her expression, and for once he couldn’t read it. “I—”
“Well, look who it is. The happy lovebirds,” his mother said from behind him. “How…sweet.”
She obviously found it anything but, though that didn’t take rocket science to figure out. She’d spent all weekend leaving him messages that told him exactly how much she disliked his choice of fiancée.
Oh-the-fuck-well.
Maggie made him happy, and for once that was all he was going to worry about. His mother wanted him to settle down and become serious with someone, so fine. He had. If she didn’t like who he picked, too damn bad.
“Mother.” He turned and embraced her, kissing her temple, like she’d instructed him to do as soon as he was old enough to show “love” properly in public. She patted his back, like always. “How lovely to see you. No one told me you were coming.”
“It was a last minute decision.” She eyed Maggie, and he could practically hear her calculating all her weaknesses, and figuring out where it would be best to strike. It was what she did. Who she was. Who he’d been, too—until Maggie showed him a different way. “Your brother had an extra ticket.”
He threw hi
s arm around Maggie’s shoulder protectively. “Lovely.”
“Yes, that’s how Andrew is.” She finally looked away from Maggie and gave him a hard stare. “Always sharing what he has with those he cares about.”
“Benjamin.” Andrew came up behind her as if on cue. “Good to see you.”
“Hey.” He hugged his brother before stepping back to Maggie’s side. He entwined fingers with her. “We missed you at the gala last night,” Benjamin said.
“Something came up last minute.” He side-eyed their mother, who remained impassively still, then he turned to Maggie. “You must be Ms. Donovan.”
“Maggie.” She offered a hand. “And you must be the brother I’ve heard so much about. You work in the other Gale Incorporated office downtown, right?”
Andrew bowed over her hand. “Indeed.”
“It’s lovely meeting you,” she said, smiling.
“Likewise.” Andrew grinned back. “Let me introduce you to my wife. She’s over there, in black.”
“Of course she is,” Maggie said softly. “I’d love to meet her.”
“I’ll wait here,” Benjamin said, reluctantly letting go of her hand.
Maggie and Andrew wandered off together, and he watched them go. If she showed any signs of needing rescue, he’d be at her side in two seconds flat.
But he had a feeling she’d be fine. His brother wasn’t the enemy.
His mother sighed and shifted on her feet impatiently, reminding him of who was. “I assume you got my messages, Benjamin? All twenty-six of them?”
“I did.” He tugged on his tie. “Sorry, we’ve been busy socializing all weekend, and introducing Maggie to everyone, so I didn’t have a chance to return your calls.”
“How delightful,” she said drily. “I’m sure they all adore her.”
“They do,” he said defensively.
“Did you listen to my messages at all?” She switched her purse to her other hand, her motions jerky. “Obviously, you didn’t. After all, she remains at your side, despite my numerous warnings.”
Beauty and the Boss (Modern Fairytales) Page 13
