by Nora Crystal
This was another song that Travis had played for me. I had heard the song before any of the guys in the band. It was one of my all-time favorites, although it couldn’t hold a candle to ‘Banging on the Walls.’ Travis started playing his part from the floor of the stage. He laid right out flat and waved a roadie over to hold his microphone over his mouth.
It was amazing. He couldn’t even stand, and yet he was playing the song flawlessly. I could see him well from my shoulder top perch. My legs were going numb, but it was worth it to see him sing again. I just loved it so much. His voice sent chills down my spine. My eyes followed his fingers as they danced across the strings. It was always so amazing to see how he handled his guitar.
“I’m knocking in the darkened hallway,” Travis sang and I could see the hallway in our old building. I always felt special listening to this song. I had actually been in the hallway that he was talking about. Most people thought this song was supposed to be romantic. They had no idea it was about sneaking into my room late at night when his father fought with whatever girlfriend was living with them at the time.
“You come to me in pi…eehww,” Travis sounded like he was choking on his words. He sat up and threw up all over the stage. He threw his guitar strap off and rolled onto his knees as he continued to heave. It was disgusting. I tapped the man I was sitting on and he let me down.
“You just don’t know!” Sheila shouted. “I told you these are the best shows!” I watched Travis for a minute, and I thought for a second that he might have seen me, but I couldn’t take seeing him like this. I grabbed mom’s hand and we moved towards the back of the bar.
“The shows over!” Hank screamed into the microphones. “Everybody go the fuck home, I sure as hell am,” Hank led the others off the stage. There were millions of phones in the air. Everyone was recording the scene on stage. People seemed excited to see the whole thing fall apart. I was the only person who seemed upset at all.
“I think they’ll be back out,” a woman was saying as she live blogged the event right into her phone. Everyone in the world was going to know about this break down in a few minutes. Sheila found Gil and grabbed him.
“What’s going on?” She asked.
“They are all getting ready to go, my assistant is back there trying to get the band back on, but it doesn’t look good.” Gil shrugged and walked off. We watched for another minute as Travis struggled to get back to his feet. The roadies came out and started to disconnect everything, but it wasn’t until the curtains started to close that everyone started to boo.
“I paid good money for these tickets!” A man was yelling. There was another screaming while standing on the bar. People were getting upset and the crowd was getting ugly.
“Time to go!” Sheila said as she pulled me through the crowd and out the door. “You always need to know when to run away. The cops were already pulling into the parking lot as we ran to the brightly colored Beetle. “That is going to be ugly.”
“Is this how it usually goes at these shows?” I asked as I waited for Mom to unlock the car. She was struggling to find her keys.
“Essentially, but they normally play more songs,” Sheila laughed. “I think something is really wrong though. The guys wouldn’t just walk away like that unless there was something wrong. I have seen Travis act way worse than that on stage. Although that is the most I have ever seen him puke.”
We drove to find something to eat. We were already in Jacksonville. We decided we had to make a night of it. I was disappointed, but at the same time, I had gotten closer than ever before to seeing the guys play. It was pretty amazing really.
Ch. 6 – Travis
I staggered to my feet. It wasn’t the first time I had let the band down like that, but I had a feeling it was the last time. I didn’t feel like I was ever going to get the guys back again after that. I was scared when I realized that they had all left.
“They got into a cab and headed back to the hotel,” Gil’s assistant Stevie was actually kind of cool. I preferred talking to him than to Gil, and I just loved that Gil hadn’t even found his way back to the dressing room yet. I was going to lose my mind on him about that later.
“Do you want me to get you a police escort?” Stevie asked. I looked up into his pierced eyebrows and wondered when I laid down. It took me a minute to remember where I was, I must have closed my eyes for a second. I had gotten down on the couch.
“No, I’m not going anywhere for a bit.” I laid still and tried to get the spinning to stop as I listened to the people rushing around me. I could hear the chaos in the main room coming through the walls. It sounded like there was a riot going on outside. Suddenly I was worried about Jean. I knew that Sheila would take care of her, but if they got separated or couldn’t get out in time. I decided I would have to kill myself if anything happened to them.
I remembered seeing the disappointment in her eyes as I embarrassed myself all over the stage. I never wanted to see that look in her eyes again. It had absolutely crushed me, but then I just continued to throw up. I was excited to know what the bill was going to be for that incident.
“Well, that was unexpected,” Gil said as he came into the room. I had heard that tone in his voice before. He had poisoned me. I could tell just looking at that smug face. He had poisoned me to make sure that I ruined the show. It was the shots. I tried to be mad, but I actually respected Gil more than I had ever in my life.
“I feel like it wasn’t all that unexpected,” I said as I rolled off the couch and up onto my feet. I grabbed an energy bar and then ate a bit from the snack table that had been set up before the show. I was already starting to feel better. The poisons were wearing off. I couldn’t believe that Gil had the balls. “I’m impressed.”
I ate another carrot and then I laid back on the couch to wait for the crowds to die down and leave. I could still hear the police running about. I closed my eyes for a minute and she was on top of me. It was the woman I vaguely remembered from before. She was laying on top of me and kissing me. I could see Gil snapping pictures out of the corner of my eye.
“What is this?” I asked as I threw the poor woman to the ground. She seemed to be fine with it.
“I’m your girlfriend, don’t you read the tabloids?” She said this as if it was a normal thing to say to a human being. I couldn’t believe the insanity that was being spouted at me. She was stunning, but in a plastic way. Everything about her looked like it had been designed by an engineer. She was standard model girl. I had been with enough to know the type.
I pulled Gil aside, and shrugged at him waiting for an explanation. “You need young and hot, she is both. She is up-and-coming, and your old news butt needs that.”
“First of all, say ass, you’re a grown man,” I said as I grabbed Gil by the collar. “Second, could you run this shit by me? I don’t want to be surprised anymore.” I let go of Gil and he was about to walk away. “And I know what you did,” I said to Gil, but I left it at that.
He walked away and took his model. I was done with the politics of launching my solo career for the night. I grabbed the guitar closest to me and I started playing. It wasn’t anything. It was a song that had been stuck in my head for a while. I had the cords and the general feel of the song worked out, but I couldn’t come up with lyrics.
It had been a long time since I wrote anything good. I had written some hits that were trendy, but writing something really good seemed beyond my scope any more. I tried to think of some lyrics. “I need a song to…to. I need a love that can…” I started to laugh as I thought about writing a love song. I had never written a song about romance in my life. All of the songs people thought were romantic were about Jean and our friendship or my parents’ divorce. Neither of those topics were particularly romantic, but it seemed to be good enough for people.
“Did you do that on purpose?” Randy was standing over me.
“Gil poisoned me,” I said as he glared down. “Are you guys out?” Randy nodded.
&nb
sp; “I just wanted to let you know how much we all hate you right now,” Randy said as calmly as he could. “We were all trying to be excited. We thought that you had finally pulled your head out of your ass. Don’t call ever again.” Randy said as he walked away. I almost wished that he had raised his voice. It was all way too calm and reasonable. He was being adult about it, and I didn’t know what to do.
“Are you ready to go?” Stevie said as he threw my arm over his shoulder and started walking. I was no longer feeling sick or drunk, I was feeling awful, but in an entirely different way. I knew that it was my fault. I had shit on those guys for way too long, and now I had gone too far. They were only going to hate me more when they realized why I had done it.
We got out to the bus and Gil was talking to the model whose name was still not coming to me. They were snuggled all cozy on a little bench. They went to move when I got on the bus, but I waved at them. I didn’t care what they did. I got back into my private room on the bus, and Stevie had brought two girls in ahead of me.
“Just like you asked,” he said as I looked up and saw them on the bed. I was about to say no when Gil pushed me onto the bed and snapped a bunch of pictures. I was trying to stand up, but they were all over me. I was pretty sure one even cut off a piece of my hair.
“I am fine really,” I said as I tried to push them away, but suddenly my pants were gone. It wasn’t the girls either, I was pretty sure it was Stevie who pulled them off. “What is going on?” I said as Gil used his fingers to indicate that I should smile. I threw a pillow into his face as I felt a mouth go over my cock. I stood up, “Teeth, teeth, teeth,” I yelled as I danced around in pain. I got my pants back on. “Drive!” I yelled as I got out of the room.
“How dare you?!” The model shouted. She started to slap me, and the bus driver started moving forward at the same time. Her hand came flying at me with the force of the bus behind it. I went staggering back to hit the ground and see that Gil was filming the whole thing. I looked over at the model who was rubbing her hand. I could feel her palm still burning on my cheek.
“That’s enough for right now,” Gil said as he helped me to my feet and put his phone away. “I just wanted to get this stuff out of the way. Now we can focus on making music.” I nodded as I tried to collect my thoughts. “You asked for this right?”
I grabbed a seat. Gil was right. I didn’t even argue with him. I was the one who wanted to make a comeback as a solo artist. I was the one who had missed the fame and fortune and all the nonsense. I had wanted this and now I had it. Throwing up on stage, causing a riot, posed pictures for the tabloids, and a tour bus full of women. I was right back where I left off. It just didn’t feel the same.
Ch. 7 – Jean
“I’m sorry you didn’t get to hear the song,” Sheila said as she bumped me with her shoulder. I guess I must have looked down, but I wasn’t sad about that. I wanted to know that Travis was okay. It had been so amazing to connect with him again. Even though the concert was a bust, I had actually had an amazing night.
“Oh great a lounge act,” I groaned as a crooner came out onto the tiny stage in the back corner of the bar. We had decided to find a hotel before going to eat, and by the time we found a hotel that we could both agree on we were too hungry to eat anywhere else. The food was great, but after we went up to the room for a minute to freshen up, we just came back down and started drinking in the bar.
“I feel like we are being lame, but I can’t drive anywhere right now,” Sheila apologized. “I mean it’s spring break, you shouldn’t be around all of these old people.” Everyone in the bar looked about my mother’s age, she thought of age as a state of mind though. Sheila was not old, just every other forty year old.
“I’m just glad to be out of my dorm and living again,” I said as I heard some commotion starting in the barroom behind me. It sounded like a special guest was joining the lounge singer. I could hear the people moving around, but I was too busy trying to pep up my mother to care. Sheila was tired from the drive, but mainly she was upset by the amount of work she had done to get us to a two minute long rock concert.
“I wrote this song quite a while ago, and I have played it a million times, but never on the piano,” It was a familiar voice. “I know you wanted to hear it, Jean,” I turned to see Travis speaking into the microphone. He looked right at me as he started into a lounge act version of ‘Banging on the Walls.’ His piano playing had improved. I grabbed my drink and moved closer to the stage.
“Muffled phrases, muted screams,
Haunting chatter, violent dreams,
I wake to crashing pots, broken glass in the halls,
Fear inside starts banging on the walls.”
Travis looked over and nodded his head down to the piano bench. Everyone in the room watched me walk over to the bench, but I was only looking at Travis. I sat down beside him and he looked deep into my eyes as he sang.
I tried to stay in control as he sang to me. I knew that people were watching us, I wasn’t used to being on stage under a spot light. However, soon that all melted away. I couldn’t hear the people chattering. I didn’t notice the lighting. Travis and I were just there together on the stage.
“Well, you recovered nicely,” I said to Travis when the song finished. “I thought you’d still be in bed.”
“Puking is never the end of the night,” He laughed. “You just brush your teeth and move on.” Travis waved to the people in the audience who were cheering for another song. “No guys, I gotta, well okay one more,” Travis broke into a rousing rendition of ‘My Way.’
“You could be a lounge singer,” I said as we finally got to a quiet booth in the back. My mother had left to raid the tour bus for booze. Travis shrugged at the thought. “Seriously, it doesn’t look like the band is getting back together.”
“You wanna know a secret?” Travis asked. I tried to control my excitement. I hadn’t heard a secret from Travis in so long. “We were never getting back together. The whole thing was a publicity stunt that Gil cooked up. I feel like an ass ‘cause I didn’t even tell the guys about it. I just completely abused their friendship to try and launch my solo career.”
“Why didn’t you just write a great new song,” I asked naively, “Isn’t that how you start a solo career, with music?”
“I haven’t written a decent song in years,” Travis said as he took another drink of his beer. “I keep trying to write something halfway decent, but nothing happens. So the label dumped me off onto this ‘has been’ manager.”
“Gil is a ‘has been?’”
“No Gil manages rock stars with nothing left but fading fame, and tries to squeeze the last bits of money out of their residual fame.” Travis sighed. “I’m washed up at 26, and Gil is the guy who’s taking me out to pasture.”
“You’re not washed up,” I said as I tried to get Travis to look me in the eyes. It was just like when we were kids. This full grown man was pouting. I moved over on the bench and got right beside him. I lifted his face in both of my hands so that he would have to look me in the eyes. “You’re not washed up. You’re talented and handsome,” I let my right hand fall onto his shoulder. “Oh, and you have great muscle tone,” I said as I ran my hand down his well-defined arm. He wasn’t the skinny kid that I remembered.
“You aren’t a kid anymore either,” Travis said as he put his arm around me. “It feels the same though doesn’t it? I mean it’s like we’re the same as we were.” Travis said as he looked into my eyes, and there was a sudden pause. He licked his lips, and I moved my face closer. His hand went to the back of my neck and he brought my face closer.
I could see the flashes through my eye lids as we kissed. For a minute I thought they were a symptom of the sparks that I could feel going off all over my body. Travis pulled me closer and we continued to kiss in the booth. I got right into his lap. He was much taller than he had been the last time that I saw him, and I had only grown maybe an inch or two since I was 14.
I coul
d feel his hard body pressing against me through his tight t-shirt. “These people are all taking pictures,” Sheila said as she pulled on me and motioned for the both of us to come out of the booth. “Sorry, Gil wanted me to get you out of there, something about controlling the message. I am tired, though, I’m heading to bed.” Mom kissed both of our foreheads.
“Good night Sheila,” Travis said as he opened the door to his tour bus.
“I guess I should go with her,” I said as I tried to move away. Travis lifted me off my feet. “Or whatever, we could hang out I guess.” I could barely think with all of the redness in my cheeks.
“The universe finally brought us back together and I am not giving you back just yet.” Travis said as he grabbed my hand and led out the door of the lounge bar and into the parking lot. As he climbed the steps into the tour bus. “To the airport!” Travis said to the bus driver who was sleeping on the couch. The man got himself together and rubbed his eyes. I heard what Travis had said, but I didn’t exactly process it. There wasn’t enough time to gather my thoughts amidst all the sensations running through my body. I watched the man get behind the driver’s seat as Travis carried me to the back of the bus. “This is my private room.” He swung the door open.
“Oh, God!” We said at the same time as we saw the girls laying on the bed.
“Gil paid for the whole night?” The blonde said as she sat up seductively. She wasn’t wearing a top, so it may just been that, and not her actually trying to give us a come hither look. Travis gave the girls a little wave and closed the door.
“It’s not like anyone else is on the bus,” Travis said as we sat down on a different couch closer to the back of the bus. I draped my feet across Travis as we talked about life and everything that we had missed. “You didn’t even realize he was gone?” Travis said as he made a weird face. “That’s cold.”
