by Melody Grace
“I get it, you have an attachment to the printed page.” Cal patted her hand dismissively. “But the business model is sound.”
Eliza took a breath and slowly removed her hand. “Could we talk somewhere for a moment?” she asked quietly. “Alone.”
Cal’s smile slipped. He glanced around and cleared his throat. “We’re in the middle of dinner.”
“Yes,” Eliza said, keeping her voice low and a fake smile on her face. “Which is why I’m doing you a favor and not having this discussion at the table right now, in front of all your important friends.”
Cal looked annoyed, but the steel in her voice must have shown, because he got to his feet. “Please excuse us,” he said to the others with a chuckle. “Official business.”
Eliza silently followed him out of the dining hall and down the hallway, back out to the courtyard, which was now deserted. A couple of hours ago, she’d been out here kissing Cal like it was all that mattered in the world, flushed with happiness and desire. But now, looking at him, Eliza felt off balance, like she was at the edge of a precipice, and one wrong word could send her tumbling into freefall.
“Well?” Cal demanded, when they were finally alone. He looked back at the party impatiently. “What’s so important, we had to be rude to everyone at the table?”
“Really?” Eliza asked, incredulous. “You’re going to pretend you don’t know what this is about?”
Cal didn’t meet her eyes. “The newspaper thing is only an idea,” he said evasively, looking away. “Uncle Arthur just needed to hear I’m still focused on the company. I was going to tell you later, you didn’t have to interrupt everyone.”
“That’s right, I forgot,” Eliza said, her voice dripping ice. “I’m supposed to just stand here and look pretty.”
“I was joking. Come on, you know that’s not what I meant.” Cal took a step towards her, flashing that charming smile, but Eliza wasn’t fooled this time.
“Were you? Because you haven’t let me get a word out all night. You answer for me, talk over me, apologize for me,” she added angrily.
“You’re mad about that? I was just trying to smooth things over,” Cal argued. “I didn’t want you making a bad first impression.”
“I’m sorry if I’m embarrassing you,” Eliza said, stony.
Cal tensed. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
“How am I supposed to know?” Eliza cried. “You’re steering me around like some kind of prop, but God forbid I tell people anything about who I am or what I do.”
“You know you can be . . . difficult sometimes,” Cal said, looking frustrated now. “I just don’t want you making a scene.”
His words sliced through her, a dull, hot blade.
“Is that really what you think of me?” Eliza whispered, stunned.
Cal paused, just a split second, but it felt like an eternity to Eliza—and it told her everything she needed to know.
She wasn’t good enough. Not to him.
Her most private insecurities came roaring to life. She stepped back, suddenly dizzy.
“I’m not an idiot, Cal,” she said, tears stinging in the back of her throat. “I know tonight is important. I wasn’t going to ask Ted Chambers why he fired half his editorial staff last month, or go three rounds with your uncle over the environment. But you don’t even trust me enough to speak for myself.”
“You’re taking this all wrong.” Cal looked confused, his expression conflicted. “I just want them to like you, for you to be a part of the family.”
“But not the real me,” Eliza said, feeling that ache again, like something inside her was breaking in two. She’d gotten dressed up for him. Put on the fancy dress and the makeup, bit her tongue all night so hard she probably had teeth marks, taken the high road when she could have lashed out.
And that still wasn’t enough.
She wasn’t enough.
Eliza had walked through those doors feeling like she didn’t belong here, but for some reason, knowing that Cal thought the same thing was more than she could bear. “What exactly were you afraid I’d tell them?” she asked, finally finding her voice. “That you fired me from my job? That I work part-time as a hostess in a restaurant and come from a family with no money or social standing?”
She wanted him to tell her no. That he didn’t care about her background or job. Promise that he was proud to have her as his partner.
But instead, Cal just took a deep breath. “I can’t have this fight with you right now,” he said, straightening his jacket. “I need to go back out there before people start to talk.”
“Let them!” Eliza exploded, her pain and insecurity finally igniting. “God, what are you doing, Cal? You have a good heart and a brilliant mind, but you’re just going blindly along with what everyone else wants for you. When are you going to figure out what you want from life?”
Cal’s gaze flashed with controlled anger. “You sound like my uncle.”
“Well, I guess we have something in common, after all.” Eliza looked at him, so disappointed she could hardly stand it. “You’re a grown man, Cal. But all night, I’ve watched you schmooze and charm and bend over backwards for your uncle’s approval.”
“It’s called being a polite guest!” Cal shot back.
“No, it’s pretending to be something you’re not.” Eliza swallowed, fighting to keep it together. “And I won’t do it, Cal. Not even for you.”
There was a beat, her words landing hard on the cold ground between them.
Eliza gulped. It sounded so final out loud, more than she had even meant, and a part of her wished she could take it back. But it was the truth, wasn’t it? That gnawing discomfort in her chest was there for a reason. Something inside her knew this wasn’t how it was meant to be.
“So, that’s it?” Cal said slowly, realization flashing in his eyes. “You’re just ending this. Because we had one disagreement—”
“No,” Eliza stopped him. “You still don’t get it, do you? This isn’t about the new business plan, or one stupid party, or even you patronizing me all damn night. You don’t know who you are,” she said, aching inside. Eliza wished that she could make him see, but even after everything, he was still out of reach.
“You don’t know what you want,” she continued, finally putting into words the feeling that had been swirling under the surface. “You’re one man with me and a different guy with all of these people, and you switch it on so easily you don’t even notice the difference anymore! But I do,” she said, aching for him. For everything they could have been. “I know the difference, and I don’t want this,” she said, gesturing to his perfect tuxedo and the twinkling lights, and the ballroom full of people who didn’t know him at all. “I want the other man. The one who laughed with me, and opened up to me, and brought me a blanket while I was puking my guts out on the bathroom floor.”
“That’s still me,” Cal insisted. He pushed his hair back from his brow, a familiar gesture that made Eliza ache, but she couldn’t back down. Not now, watching everything they had slowly crumble to nothing, right there on the petal-strewn ground. “Because that guy would have let me speak for myself and told Ted Chambers where to shove it. He would stand up to his uncle and make his own path.”
“I’m trying to do a job!” Cal’s voice rose in frustration. “I’m head of the company, the family. I have responsibilities. I can’t just walk away and do whatever the hell I want!”
“Why not?” Eliza demanded.
“You tell me,” Cal shot back. “You tried it. How’s it working out for you?”
Eliza inhaled in a rush.
There was silence.
Cal’s face changed, regret striking fast. “Shit, Eliza, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yes, you did.” She curled her hands into fists to keep her composure, her nails digging into her palms. “And it’s working out great.”
“You lost the job you loved, and you’re stuck working as a waitress.” Cal ga
ve her a knowing look. “How is that great?”
“Because I believe in what I’m doing,” Eliza shot back fiercely. “Sure, the newspaper isn’t a big, fancy operation, but it means something, It’s a part of my community. And I know that working in a restaurant is beneath you people, but I’m paying my own bills, and I won’t be ashamed of that!”
“You people,” Cal echoed. He gave a bitter laugh. “You never could get over the Prescott name, could you?”
Eliza clenched her jaw. “I guess not.”
There was silence, nothing but the distant hum of dinner conversation filtering from down the hall. Eliza was cold, and tired, and she didn’t want to do this anymore: yell at a guy who felt like a stranger, while her heart broke quietly in her chest.
Maybe she’d been right from the start, that first day out on the highway. He was from a different world, and tonight, it was clear, he didn’t think she had a place in it.
“So, that’s it then.” Eliza took a shaky breath.
“That’s it,” Cal echoed, his expression blank. “I guess it’s better we did this now, before someone gets hurt.”
“Right,” Eliza echoed, hurting like hell. “I guess so.”
He swallowed. “You can have the suite tonight, of course. I’ll stay at my place.”
“Thanks.”
“And of course I’ll tell my family you were feeling unwell and had to leave. I’ll send your apologies.”
Eliza nodded blankly. Cal Prescott, a gentleman to the bitter end.
He paused there a moment, like he wanted to say something. Or maybe he was expecting her to make the move. Apologize, beg, promise to smooth things over.
But Eliza had her pride, and she held onto it. She stood there, unmoving, as he turned to go, his footsteps fading on the polished hallway floor.
And then she was alone again.
Eliza turned and fled for the exit, the tears coming now, hot and sharp. She was used to it, she told herself desperately, she’d always been alone. But she already knew it was different this time.
Because this time, she knew exactly what she had just lost. Cal wasn’t like the other guys she’d held at arm’s length her whole life. She’d let him in: torn down her defenses and risked her heart to share everything she’d kept hidden inside.
But it still wasn’t enough.
She wasn’t enough for him.
The one man who had ever really known her had just walked away.
20
Are you planning on getting off the couch today?”
Eliza lifted her head long enough to take in her sister’s concerned expression. “Maybe.”
“It’s not that I don’t understand wallowing is an essential part of post-breakup recovery,” Paige added gently. “I’m just saying, you could do it in clean clothes. After a shower. Maybe even go crazy and wash your hair.”
Eliza reached up to push a lock of hair out of her eyes. It was tangled and dull. OK, so maybe her sister had a point.
She pulled herself upright, feeling like a faded carbon copy of herself. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I know I’ve been getting in the way.”
“No,” Paige insisted. “OK, maybe a little.” She picked her way over the debris of throw blankets and empty takeout containers on the living-room floor and settled beside Eliza. “But I like having you here. It’s weird being on my own again after living with a guy for years.”
“This place is cute, at least,” Eliza said, looking around the studio. “If you ignore all my mess, I mean.”
Paige smiled. “It’s just a sublet, until I figure something out. I don’t know what I’m doing next.”
“That makes two of us.”
After fleeing the gala, Eliza couldn’t face sleeping alone in that luxurious hotel suite. She’d picked up her things and arrived at her sister’s to crash on the couch . . . which she’d barely moved from all week. She must have cycled from heartbroken to furious to miserable a hundred times, and she still didn’t know how to feel. There was a jagged, raw place in her chest that ached whenever she thought about Cal, but even though she had her phone turned to loud, sitting ready on the coffee table, he hadn’t called, not once. And every day, her last hope that they could work this out faded a little more.
It was really over.
Eliza swallowed. “Maybe he’s been hit by a bus,” she said, still watching her silent phone. “Maybe he ran out of the gala after me, got hit by a bus, and has been in traction all week, unable to call?” She exhaled with a rueful smile. “Wow, you know things are really bad when the best-case scenario involves a gruesome accident.”
Paige squeezed her. “How about I order from that Thai place you love and we have a girls’ night? You go freshen up, I’ll take care of everything.”
“Real smooth.” Eliza managed a smile. “Don’t think I didn’t notice the shower part in there. But for you, I’ll do it. I’ll even put on clean sweatpants.”
“Hallelujah!”
Eliza headed to the bathroom and stripped off, stepping under the shower. The water hit her tired skin, and in an instant, she was back at Cal’s, sinking against the tile while his wicked mouth sent her to heaven and back.
Tears welled, and this time, she didn’t stop them from falling.
Was it supposed to hurt this much?
Eliza didn’t know; she’d never had a breakup like this before. Other guys, she’d always been the one to decide it was over, and even though, technically, she’d done the same with Cal, it felt different. Wrong. Like they’d been cut short when their story was only just getting started. She’d stepped off the edge, ready to fall—and hit the ground, hard.
Was she a fool for even trying? She’d seen the warning signs from the start, but somehow, Cal had made her believe that maybe they could make it, after all. That he wasn’t just another preppy trust-fund guy, that there was so much more going on in his wounded, generous heart. They’d laughed together, loved, shared their secrets, late into the night.
But it wasn’t enough. He’d retreated back into that staid Prescott world and left her on the outside again. They’d come close to something wonderful, only to have it slip from Eliza’s grasp at the last minute.
And God, she missed him. So much.
* * *
When she finally dragged herself out of the shower and changed into clean clothes, Eliza stepped out of the bathroom and did a double-take. The studio was spotless, with gleaming surfaces and even fresh-cut flowers arranged in a pretty vase. “Did you have a group of woodland animals helping you in here?” Eliza teased her sister, toweling off her hair.
Paige grinned. “I had to take the chance while I could. Who knows when you’re getting off the couch again?”
Eliza sat back down with a thump. “Don’t worry, I know I can’t hang around here forever. Mom needs help packing up the beach house, and Declan is begging me back to the restaurant. Apparently, things fall apart when I’m not there to keep him in line.”
Paige raised her eyebrows, and Eliza knew her sister so well, she could tell exactly what she was thinking. “No,” Eliza snorted. “Definitely not. Even if my heart didn’t feel like it’s been ripped out of my chest. What Cal and I shared was real,” she added wistfully. “And now that I know what that feels like . . . a random fling with some guy just wouldn’t be the same. Oh God,” she groaned, burying her face in the couch cushions. “How am I ever going to date again after him?”
“Come on, the guy can’t be too hard to live up to,” Paige urged her, upbeat. “He drove you crazy, remember.”
“Yes. Vividly.” Eliza’s lips curled in a smile, and Paige laughed, tossing a throw pillow at her.
“Give it time. You’ll move on.”
“Like you and Doug, you mean?”
Paige blinked. “You know, I forgot about him completely. We were together for three years, and it feels like we never dated at all!” She looked horrified. “I’m a terrible person!”
“Please, you’re a saint.” Eliza toss
ed the pillow back, as the doorbell rang. “Ooh, takeout.”
She went to collect the food while Paige picked the movie, and soon they were sitting on the floor, with a feast spread on the low coffee table. There was Pad Thai, spring rolls, hot coconut soup, and . . . “Salad?” She blinked at her sister’s plate. “How are you eating salad right now?”
Paige made a face. “I’m on another diet.”
“Why?!”
“Because I’m thirty and single, and my skinny jeans don’t fit.”
“None of those things are reasons to starve yourself.” Eliza shoved a delicious mouthful of noodles into her mouth. “Buy new jeans.”
“Thanks for the tip.” Paige lifted the remote. “Ready?”
Eliza nodded. Paige hadn’t asked what she wanted to watch; her sister didn’t need to. As long as she could remember, the Bennett girls’ favorite comfort watching had been Pride & Prejudice. Maybe it was destiny, after all, their mother had named Eliza after the heroine. The classic BBC version ranked top, of course, but when they didn’t have six hours to spare, the Keira Knightly movie worked just as well. Eliza settled back and let the familiar soundtrack and arch, witty dialogue wash over her, knowing that soon enough, despite all their differences, Elizabeth and Darcy would find their happily-ever-after: true partners, each meeting their match.
The way she’d always wanted for herself.
The way she thought she’d found with Cal.
Tears welled up, and she tried to subtly wipe them away. Not subtly enough.
Paige hit pause. “Are you OK?” she asked softly. “We can just talk, if you want?”
Eliza shook her head. “What’s there to talk about? Cal decided he’d be better off with some perfect, polished socialite who agrees with everything he says and never speaks her mind.”
Paige furrowed her brow. “Did he really say that?”
“He didn’t need to. You should have seen the way he acted at the gala. He didn’t let me get a word in, he was so worried I’d embarrass him and make a scene.”
Her sister paused.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Paige hesitated. “It’s just . . . you can be kind of stubborn sometimes. You get riled up about the principle of something, and then there’s no stopping you.”
