by Sakon Kaidou
“Thanks.” I took the drug from the penguin’s hand, activated Reversal just to be on the safe side, and slowly drank it down.
...Hey, this is pretty good, I thought. It had the taste of mixed fruit juice.
Soon after I drank it, the debuffs burdening my body quickly faded away...
“Drank it all, didn’t you?” spoke the penguin.
...and, at the same time, I was attacked by a sudden, powerful headache.
“Huh?! You little...!” I growled.
“So it was a trap!” exclaimed Nemesis.
The headache made me fall to my knees and grab hold of my head.
“I’ve been watching you and thinking...” said the penguin. “...‘What kind of drug would suit him best?’” The pain continued to get worse.
“It didn’t take long for me to come to a conclusion! It simply had to be this prototype!” he declared.
Soon enough, the headache became completely unbearable... and then it disappeared as if it had never been there.
“Huh?”
What was that all about? I thought. The headache had faded away and not caused anything to happen.
The penguin that drugged me seemed to be strangely satisfied. Not that I saw his face, but still.
“Hey, what the hell did you make me dri—?!”
“M-Master!” Nemesis cut me off. “Ears! Your ears!”
In response to her words, I reached for my ears, but didn’t find anything wrong with them.
“Not those ears! The ones above!” she exclaimed.
The ears above? I thought. But I only have one set of ear—
Suddenly, I felt something fluffy.
“Hm...?”
What was that strange sensation? I once again reached for the place I’d just touched — the area between the temporal region and calvaria. And again, I felt something fluffy. It was actually kinda pleasant to the touch. It reminded me of the ears of a Siberian husky I used to have...
“YES! I knew those ears would look great on you!” From seemingly nowhere, the penguin took out a full-length mirror. In it, I saw myself...
...with dog ears — as golden as my hair — sticking out of my head.
“...” ...Wha— “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!”
◇
“I happen to be a humble Researcher, and I merely wanted to test my very own Animal Ear Drug,” the penguin explained. “When I went around to look for a convenient guinea pig, I stumbled upon you, just lying there on the ground. Not letting this divine opportunity go to waste, I mixed and blended a drug that removed your status effects with the drug I wished to test. My evaluation didn’t fail me! The Animal Ear Drug was a success, and the dog ears look absolutely perfect on you! ...I’m sorry, I am so sorry! I’ll genuflect and apologize, so could you please withdraw your sword? You’ll tear my suit! Please stop! It might reach my throat!”
I pushed Nemesis against the mad scientist penguin’s throat as I found out that I’d been used as his guinea pig.
Forgive me, Lei-Lei, I thought. I deserve this for failing to follow your advice. But man, isn’t this a bit too much?
“I’m not too big on fashion, but there are three things I’ve decided to never wear under any circumstances,” I spoke.
“A-And those are?” asked Nemesis.
“Glasses, girl’s clothing, and animal ear headbands.”
Naturally, this turn of events was quite upsetting.
“Master,” said Nemesis, “you are more averse to glasses than girl’s clothing?”
“Glasses are great,” said the penguin. “This pair, for example, gives you various skills and—”
“Shut up!” I cut his words short.
“Th-That sounded like you intend to kill him,” commented Nemesis.
“I’m shorryy!” cried the penguin.
No glasses, not ever, I thought.
“Well... what the hell do I do now?” I tried to hide the dog ears with some random headgear, but I couldn’t equip anything. They all got rejected like magnets of the same pole. I brought up my equipment window, and it said that I already had “Dog Ears” equipped on my head. Apparently, as is normal in most such games, you could only wear a single piece of equipment in each slot.
By the way, these Dog Ears had no bonuses or skills on them. It was an item that only changed my appearance. However, just like a generic cursed object straight out of your average RPG, it couldn’t be removed through the equipment window.
There were also no relevant status effects to accompany that function, and Reversal couldn’t do anything about it, either.
“How do you fix this?” I asked.
“It’s growing out of your head, so you can’t just take it off,” said the penguin. “It’s like a sub-type of hair makeovers.”
Man, that’s annoying, I thought.
“Oh, but it should disappear after some time,” he continued. “If I had to guess, it will happen sometime in the evening.”
“By which time standard?” I asked.
“This world’s, of course.”
That was the equivalent of ten hours here or three hours in reality.
“Then I guess I’ll just log out until that time comes,” I said. I didn’t want anyone I knew to see me like this.
“Oh no, time when you’re logged out wouldn’t count,” the penguin said. “It would be boring if it did.”
...This mad penguin just said the word “boring,” didn’t he?
“Hhaah... All right,” I sighed, resigned. “Guess I’ll just continue like this, then...”
Having to go about with something like this on my head was somewhat embarrassing. But when compared to having to wear glasses... hey, I guess this ain’t all that bad, I thought.
“Just what did glasses ever do to you?” asked Nemesis.
Not gonna comment.
“By the way, Ray, my boy,” spoke the penguin again.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I have but one humble request.” The penguin looked at me with a serious face — not that I could see it, but it felt that way — and stated what he wanted of me. “I want to take a screenshot, so could you take off your clothes? Just the top would be fine.”
Without saying a word back, I slashed at him.
“Fwahahahah! Farewell!”
The penguin evaded my attack and quickly ran in the direction of the city.
Man, is he fast, I thought. A penguin has no business being this fleet of foot.
“What do we even make of oddballs like this...?” asked Nemesis.
“No idea. From the fact that he mentioned screenshots, it’s obvious that he’s a Master, but... Hm?” I stopped talking and realized something.
I realized that the penguin had called me by my name before he left. And I definitely hadn’t introduced myself to him...
After that penguin weirdo gave me the dog-ear drug, I made my way back to the city.
Since Gideon was a place where demi-humans weren’t uncommon, the guards didn’t make any comments about my new appearance.
I could hear one of them whisper, “Huh? Did that guy have those ears when he greeted us in the morning...? Guess I wasn’t fully awake,” but that was the extent of it.
“All right, what now?” I asked myself.
Prior to the testing, I’d had plans to go say hello to Alejandro, buy some new equipment, and perhaps even go hunting alongside Rook and Marie, provided they were online. As things were now, however, I didn’t want to encounter anyone I knew. Being seen with these dog ears on my head would be downright degrading.
“I don’t see why it bothers you that much,” said Nemesis.
It’d be weirder if it didn’t bother me, I thought. Imagine a scenario where a good friend suddenly appears before you with a pair of dog ears coming out of his head.
I was fully confident that such a sight would be etched onto my brain forever.
I’m strongly averse to the idea of that happening, so I don’t want to see anyone I kno—<
br />
“Ah, Ray, Nemesis. Good morning,” a feminine voice reached my ears before I could finish my thought.
I had no words for this situation.
Seriously?! You do this to me right when I was thinking that?! I thought.
“Well, if it isn’t Marie,” said Nemesis.
“Indeed it is,” replied the Journalist.
“Now, Ray, why do you have such a unique look on your fa...” Marie stopped talking and fixed her gaze on the things sprouting out of my head.
Crap, she’s staring at them, I silently panicked. She’s seriously eyeballing them.
I had to clear things up before she thought I was some weirdo who got his kicks from wearing dog ears.
“Marie, just so you know, this isn’t my thin—”
“Don’t say anything, Ray!” she cut me off.
“Excuse me?!” The vigor in her words made me stiffen up and rendered me unable to continue what I wanted to say. With her gaze still fixed on me, Marie reached into her wristband-shaped inventory and took something out. It was...
“A sketchbook and... a pen?” I looked at the items with questioning eyes.
Just like she had during the minion capacity explanation, Marie began drawing something at an incredible speed. I wasn’t knowledgeable about the subject of drawing, but I couldn’t help but question if it was really possible for such a coherent picture to have come from such fast movements. With nimble strokes, she drew the outline, the hair, the details on the face and — of course — the dog ears.
“Phew,” she sighed. Two minutes later, Marie finally took the pen away from the paper and put up a satisfied expression. On the sketchbook in her hands, there was a ridiculously well-drawn picture of a blond youth with dog ears and no upper clothing.
...Huh? Is this me? But I still have my clothes on, I thought.
“Impressive,” said Nemesis.
“Well, yeah, it’s good, but... It’s good, but I, uh...” I stumbled.
It was definitely a high-quality drawing, but I had no idea how to react to a depiction of a shirtless me with dog ears. The art style was a perfect fit for those monthly magazines that were aimed at teenage boys, but which happened to have a lot of female readers, and that made it even harder for me to comment on it.
“Is there a Drawing skill or something?” I asked.
“It’s included among the sense skills, yes, but this is all me,” Marie answered.
Oh, so she’s good at drawing in real life, I thought.
“So, Ray, how did you end up with such a splendid pair of dog ears?” she asked.
“...A penguin drugged me.” I told her the details of my encounter with Mister Flamingo.
“I must say, that penguin has some great taste,” said Marie. “I’ll make sure to buy some of that Animal Ear Drug if it ever gets on the market.”
“Not that I’d stop you, but... are you serious?” I asked.
“Very,” she answered. “By the way, Ray. Dog ears look great on you, but I think that tiger or fox ears wou—”
“Whoa, now! Don’t think of using it on me!” I cut her off.
“...Tch.”
Did this shady Journalist just click her tongue?! I thought in disbelief.
“Anyway, you said that the effect wears off in the evening,” she said, changing the subject. “What do you plan to do until then?”
“I was thinking of paying a visit to Alejandro’s shop, but I can’t really do that with these things popping out of my head,” I answered. I didn’t want people to see them.
Although it may be a lost cause, considering they’ve already been seen by someone I know, I thought.
“Hmm, I really don’t think it’s such a big deal,” said Marie. “You shouldn’t be so self-conscious about them.”
“But—”
“You’d be hard-pressed to find a tian who’d be surprised by a Master who suddenly grew a pair of animal ears,” she cut me off and explained. “To most tians, we Masters are creatures that exist outside the boundaries of common sense.”
Is that how it is? I asked myself. Well, now that I think about it, the King of Destruction destroyed a whole forest in a single night, so it’s perfectly reasonable for tians to see us that way.
“Guess I’ll go to Alejandro’s place, then,” I sighed.
“I’m still busy with something, so I can’t join you,” said Marie.
“Busy?” I asked.
“Various preparations and all that,” she responded, but didn’t make anything clear. “Speaking of which, don’t forget to meet up with me tomorrow afternoon.”
“Yeah, I remember the plan,” I said. “What are you preparing, anyway?”
“It’s a secret,” she answered. “See you tomorrow!”
With those words as her last, Marie ran off towards an uncertain direction. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of surprise she had in store for us.
After splitting up with Marie, Nemesis and I made our way to the shop address Alejandro had given us yesterday, which was located in Gideon’s fourth district.
Gideon was a circular city split into twelve districts — making it seem much like a sliced cake — and the fourth was an area focused on trade. Making my way through the bazaars while trying not to get lost among all the people and other things, I somehow arrived at Alejandro’s shop.
The large building had a sign that said “The Alejandro Company.” I peeked inside and saw a variety of goods being sold. Obviously, there were weapons, armor, and healing items, but I also noticed works of art such as paintings and statues. There were fruit and other foods, as well, and they created quite a contrast with the rows of Jewels on display. The place was much like a department store.
“Good morning,” I said as I came in. A moment later, a young girl — clearly an employee — ran up to me.
“Is Alejandro here right now?” I asked.
“Oh! You’re the Master from the day before yesterday!” she exclaimed. “Thank you very much for what you did back then! I’ll call the owner immediately!” The girl trotted off deeper into the shop.
From her words, it was pretty obvious that she had been one of the tians riding the carriages when Gardranda had attacked. I couldn’t tell if I’d seen her back then, though. Things had been pretty hectic, after all.
“What a fidgety young girl,” said Nemesis. “From the air about her, I assume that she has the makings of a ‘klutz.’”
Not sure how I feel about summarizing people with a single word, I thought. What word would you summarize yourself with, Nemesis?
“Goddess,” she answered with no hesitation.
Well, your name is that of a goddess, yeah, but I’d say you’re better summed up as an “old loli ha-” I thought willfully.
“Hey! What were you about to think just now?!” Nemesis exclaimed.
“Ha ha ha, don’t be so loud,” I said. “You’ll disturb the other customers.”
“That laugh was so forced!” she shouted, seeing right through me.
As we were fooling around, Alejandro walked out from the shop’s inner quarters.
“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Ray,” he said. “You are most welcome here.”
“Hello,” I greeted him. “Since you insisted that I pay a visit, I came to take a look at your wares.”
“Oh, please do,” he said. “Look at them for as long as you like. You get a discount on everything I have.”
“Thank you,” I said.
I had to get a lot of new gear appropriate to my current level, so a discount was very welcome.
Also, there was something I couldn’t help but notice. The female employee and Alejandro weren’t making any comments about my dog ears. Sure, the girl gave them a few involuntary glances, but she didn’t say anything at all. Alejandro, on the other hand, acted as though the ears didn’t even exist. A pro if I ever saw one.
Perhaps Marie was right about tians not being mindful of such things happening with Masters.
I was thankful for th
at. Having to explain the dog ears to every single person I encountered would’ve been really annoying.
Now, I can only hope they disappear before I meet Rook again, I thought.
“Oh, look, it’s Ray and Nemesis,” said someone in the shop. “Good morning. Nice to see that you’re already logged in.”
“Helloo,” followed a feminine voice. “Oh? Why do you have those ears, Ray?”
I turned to see Rook and Babi, who had — apparently — been shopping here before we came in.
I had no words. This is the second time today that my hope has died the very moment I created it, I thought. Are these dog ears cursed or something?
“If you consider everything that’s happened ever since you logged in this morning, the cursed item here might be the Miasmaflame Bracers, not the ears,” said Nemesis.
...You have a point, I thought.
“Ray, how did you end up with that nice pair of ears?” asked Rook.
“It’s a result of this and that happening because of so on and so on,” I said.
“Surely you’re not expecting him to understand that,” commented Nemesis.
“I see,” said Rook. “You ended up like that because a shady person tricked you into drinking some drug, right?”
“He actually got it right?!” Nemesis and I couldn’t hide our surprise.
Are you an esper or something? I thought.
“No, this isn’t a superpower or anything like that,” he answered to my thought. “This level of ‘mind reading’ is easy once you get the hang of it.”
“How can you call it easy when you’re talking to my thoughts as naturally as Nemesis does?!” I asked, still perplexed.
“Ohh... what a heavy blow to my identity.” Shocked for some reason, Nemesis fell to her knees.
“That’s pretty amazing, Rook,” I said. “You’d be unbeatable when playing old maid.”
“Old maid, huh...” he said. “I don’t think this ability of mine would be this precise with anyone I don’t know, though. The most I can do with strangers is tell how they feel and notice if they have any ulterior motives.”
That’s still pretty amazing, I thought.
After Rook surprised us with his special ability, we began looking at the wares on sale here.
