by Brook Wilder
Lori couldn’t move. She couldn’t look at it. It was sitting there, a small plastic stick on the edge of her bathroom counter top, and she couldn’t make herself look at it.
The knock on the bathroom door was soft but it still made her jump.
“Everything okay in there, honey?” Carrie asked gently.
The care in her voice made Lori want to cry all over again.
“No. I will not cry. I will not cry. I’m an adult. I’m strong. I can handle anything that happens to me. I can handle it.”
“What was that, Lori? I couldn’t hear you.”
“Just, give me a minute, Carrie!”
“I’ve already given you five,” Carrie muttered to herself.
But Lori heard her mutter through the bathroom door as Carrie turned and walked away and knew she must have been watching the clock too.
“Well, it’s now or never,” Lori whispered out loud to the empty bathroom, forcing herself to her feet.
She almost couldn’t move, but step by step she made her way to the vanity unit and the small innocent-looking stick.
Lori looked at the reading in the little window and her whole world narrowed down to that one word.
Pregnant.
It was there, the tiny letters stark against the white background. There was no mistaking those readings. It definitely said pregnant.
“Shit! I’m pregnant.”
A million thoughts flew through her head, but she couldn’t keep track of any of them. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t do anything but stand there and stare at the damned thing.
Lori left it sitting there, untouched, as she turned and fled from the suddenly too small bathroom. She just needed to get out of there. Now.
Carrie stood up from her seat on the couch when Lori walked out. She didn’t need to say a word. She could see the truth written all over Lori’s face.
“Oh, honey. Come here.”
Carrie pulled Lori on to the couch next to her and put an arm around her shoulder.
They sat like that for a long time before Lori spoke.
“What am I going to do, Carrie? What the hell am I going to do?”
They both lapsed into silence again. When Carrie spoke, there was nothing but honesty in her voice.
“Lori, I know there’s a lot of shit happening right now, but I think you’ll be a wonderful mother.”
Lori looked over at her friend and she was fighting tears all over again.
“I never thought about having a kid. I mean someday, sure. But… you really think so?”
“I know so, Lori,” Carrie said fiercely. “You are the strongest, bravest person I know. Any kid would be lucky to have you as a mom. It won’t always be like this, you know? You’ll get through it. Make the money you need to get away from Gears.”
Carrie grinned then, sudden and delighted, as if she’d just realized something.
“Besides, I’ll make a wonderful aunt, or fairy godmother. Or both.”
They both laughed, and Lori was glad that the humor took a little of the tension with it.
But then another thought occurred to her, sobering her all over again.
“How the hell am I going to tell Tex?”
Chapter 24
“Thank you very much. Y’all have a wonderful afternoon,” Tex said, his drawl even deeper as he tipped his hat to the gentlemen sitting around the table.
His blood was still pumping from the rush of making the deal, and even more from the hefty amount of bills that had changed hands. It all went into his pocket. More that he could add to the pile he had stashed away to give to Lori.
He hated that he’d had to be away from her so long, and he didn’t want to look too deeply at the reasons behind that, but he hadn’t been idle. While he’d been dealing for the Devil’s, he’d also been working his ass off to sell the rest of the pills that Lori had gotten from Robbie. And he’d walked away with a healthy chunk of change that would go a long way towards getting Lori the hell away from Gears.
He checked his phone for the thousandth time, not that it made a damn bit of difference. Where they’d been staying was little more than a shanty town. No cell reception for miles in any direction.
Tex bit back a curse, wishing he’s been able to get a hold of Lori and let her know that he was headed back to town. But, he grinned, he would surprise her instead. And with the cash in hand, along with the other plan he’d been working on, she’d be surprised indeed.
He hadn’t just been working on selling the pills. He’d used the connections that the Devil’s Martyrs’ president had set him up with to work out a deal of his own. It was a matter of time to see if anything would come of it, but Tex was optimistic. He’d achieved more than even he had hoped for. And now it was time to go home and reap the rewards.
It had been a hell of a long, lonely few weeks, with only his fantasies to keep him company, and every single one of them had been about her. About Lori. She filled his thoughts, day and night. And he was more than ready to make all those fantasies a reality.
Tex hardly stopped to grab his stuff, shoving it in the saddle bags of his motorcycle along with the cash. He got on and revved the engine, fighting the urge to laugh as he drove out of the village.
Village was putting it kindly. There were a few shacks and a larger building made out of scrap and corrugated metal siding. No running water and no electricity. Yeah, he was more than ready to get back to civilization.
To Lori, you mean.
He didn’t even try to deny it. After the past few weeks, he knew that whatever was between them was more than just a one-night stand, and he was more than happy to let things happen as they would. Especially if it meant another night or two or three with Lori.
He couldn’t wait.
Tex grinned fiercely as he shifted on the saddle of his motorcycle. The wind whipped past him, warm and clean. It had been a hell of a hard few weeks. It was one of the biggest operations he’d ever been a part of it, but he was glad it was over and he was finally on his way back home.
The landscape slowly began to change from the bare, desert-like tundra of the border town miles outside of San Lucas. Mesas started to rise in the distance, and shrubbery started to pop up more frequently, along with the cactus and arid-weather plants.
Endless tan faded into green with every mile he put behind him, and soon he was riding through pastures and rolling hills dotted with cows that stared at him curiously as he flew past them.
It wasn’t until he was a few hours into his ride that he noticed the buzzes. He hadn’t felt them at first, but now that he had reached an area with cell reception his phone had started vibrating rapidly in the inner pocket of his jacket.
Hating the delay, Tex slowed his bike to a crawl, guiding it with his booted feet until he had pulled off on the side of the road and could dig out his phone.
He frowned when he looked down at the screen. There were a few missed calls, but those weren’t what concerned him. No, it was the texts from Lori that made his heart race.
Hey, Tex, just chkn in. txt me back?
Where are you, Tex?
Gears is getting worse. When will you be back?
Please text me back. Please.
Tex’s heart stuttered at the angry undertone of the next one.
Fine, run away. I don’t care, but don’t come back here.
I don’t want to see you again.
Tex had to fight to relax his grip on the cell phone, scrolling to the last one. It had been sent three days ago.
Tex. Call me. It’s important. Need to talk NOW.
There was an urgency to that last text that had his hands shaking and all sorts of terrible thoughts rushing through his head. What had happened? Had Gears finally snapped? Had he hurt her or…
It was too painful. He couldn’t even finish the thought.
All he knew was that, if Gears had laid a single finger on Lori, the man would be dead. That was it. End of story. He would be dead and Tex would do whatever he
had to do to make sure that happened.
With fury and panic pushing him on, he started his bike’s engine again and drove as fast as he could. He didn’t stop again, he didn’t even pause. He was pretty sure he broke every single speed limit between him and Lori’s house, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but getting to her and making sure she was okay. He didn’t know what he would do if she was hurt, but the thought made him feel wild. He knew it wouldn’t end well for the one who had hurt her.
His hands had a white-knuckled grip on the handle bars of his bike as he braked to a stop in front of her house. For a long moment Tex just sat there, staring up at the small, older house as he tried to get his haywire emotions under control.
For hours, his imagination had tortured him, and he felt like he was striding along the edge of violence. He didn’t want her to see him like that. Whatever had happened, he would deal with. But he couldn’t stand for her to see him like that.
Tex laughed to himself, but it was a bitter sound. For weeks, he’d been picturing his homecoming. He’d imagined knocking on the door and Lori throwing herself in his arms, showering him with grateful kisses as he showed her the rubber-banded roll of cash he’d gotten for her and told her all about his brilliant plan.
He shook his head. He doubted any of that would happen now.
“Well, I won’t find out just sitting out here,” he muttered, and threw one leg over the side of his bike after he’d kicked down the stand.
He stopped to grab the cash from the saddle bags. His heart was in his throat as he walked up the cracked walk way to the front door.
He nearly laughed at himself. He was nervous. Him, the big bad biker, gang member and drug runner. He was scared of a five foot nothing blonde. Still marveling at the thought, he raised one hand and knocked three times on the door. A chip of paint flaked off the surface and Tex tracked its fall to the porch at his feet. For some reason, he took that as a bad sign.
Tex shuffled his feet nervously as he waited, but he didn’t have to wait long. After a few moments, the front door creaked open and he looked up, forcing a grin to his face.
“Lori, I know it’s been longer than I hoped to get back to you, but look!”
Tex held out his hand, showing her the bundle of hundred-dollar bills that he held in his palm. The words all came out in a rush. He wanted to get it all out before she interrupted him.
“I’ve got good news! I was able to sell the rest of your pills, and I even met a connection to Solomon while I was in that god-awful border town.”
His heart was still racing. Nothing could stem the flood of words that fell from his mouth.
“I missed you, Lori. I couldn’t get you out of my thoughts and I’m… I’m just glad to see you. I just saw you’re texts today. There wasn’t any reception in that town or else I would have texted you back. But I wanted to tell you, I… I really did miss you. I’ve never been this way about anyone else before…”
Tex bit his tongue to keep from spilling anything else. He hadn’t meant to say any of that, but that didn’t make it any less true. He just hadn’t realized how deep his feelings went for her until he’d said them out loud.
After a long moment, Tex realized that Lori still hadn’t said anything. He looked up at her, meeting her enormous, changeable hazel eyes. They were the cloudy grey of a summer thunderstorm now.
Horror filled him, followed closely by shock, as she burst into tears, still standing in the doorway.
Through her sobs, though, he was able to make out her words.
“Tex, I…I’m pregnant.”
Tex and Lori’s adventure continues
DEVIL’S MARTYRS MC #2: Devil’s Seed
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Tex kept hearing Lori’s words echo in his head, over and over again, like a scratched record skipping at the same spot. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.
Shock hit him first, freezing him right where he stood. His feet were stuck in place on Lori’s front stoop as he watched the tears stream down her flushed cheeks. Those tears killed him. They immobilized him completely. He couldn’t do a fucking thing; he just stood there, trying to think of how to make them stop.
But after a few very uncomfortable moments for Tex, Lori sniffled a bit, wiping at the tears with the sleeve of her sweater. As her eyes thankfully cleared of the tears, they darkened with something else. Something very close to panic.
“Shit. You can’t stand out here,” Lori muttered, more to herself than him.
She grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, out of sight. She stuck her head out, looking left and then right, as if she expected someone to come charging in after him.
Tex only had a moment to be confused though, because Lori turned back to him with a shrug.
“I don’t want Gears to see you.” She shrugged again, looking at everywhere but at him, “He freaked out when he found out Carrie was here. Who knows what he’d do if he finds you here with me.”
“Lori, look at me,” Tex finally said after a long moment. His voice was soft and calm but there was still strength behind the words. “Lori.”
It was another minute before she turned to face him, and when she did Tex could see the fear in her eyes. No, it was more than that. Lori was terrified of the man.
Tex could see it written on her beautiful face and anger started to burn away some of the shock. Not that he knew what the hell to make of this turn of events. Still trying to rein in his fury at Gears, Tex walked over to the miniscule couch and let himself drop to the worn cushions.
His mind tumbled in a million different directions. He’d expected joy at the money he’d brought her, but now it just lay in a crumpled wad on the coffee table. He had expected a happy welcome home. At least a kiss. Something. Anything other than… He trailed off, shaking his head.
Lori paced nervously in the small living room and Tex shot her a sideways glance. He was just grateful that she had stopped crying. He really didn’t think he could have handled any more of her tears without hitting someone.
Pregnant. A baby. His baby. His and Lori’s. He was having a baby with Lori. Over and over the thought hit him and for a moment he wondered why he wasn’t as freaked out as he should be. No mistake, he was fucking terrified. But his emotions shot between excitement and fear and then back again.
Tex looked up at Lori again, her frantic pacing eating at the last of his frayed nerves, and suddenly he couldn’t take any more of her fearful movements. He jumped up, stalked towards her and pressed her against the wall in one hurried movement.
“Stop. Pacing,” he growled, his voice low and tense.
She looked up at him, wide-eyed, and for a moment he lost his composure, losing himself in her gaze. But then her brows furrowed angrily.
“Oh no! You don’t get to just disappear for weeks, not texting or calling me, and then come back and tell me what to do. That’s not how this works.” Lori huffed, and Tex flinched at the sharpness of her tone.
“Damn it, sweetheart, I told you. I didn’t have any reception in that shithole town,” Tex tried to explain, but she was already shaking her head.
“You could have sent a letter or, hell, even a postcard. Something! I thought… I thought you…” Lori bit her lush lower lip, cutting off her words and drawing his attention.
“You thought I had what, sweetheart?” His voice was suddenly husky but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He was pressed against her sweet body and her cheeks were flushed with anger, as well as something else. The same heat was swirling in her eyes.
Lori blinked and, when she looked up at him with those big hazel eyes of her, he could see the anger there. Which he knew damn well he deserved. But he could also see her fear and, mixed with that, the pain. That was what he couldn’t stand. That was what brought him to his knees.
“I thought you had
left me,” Lori whispered the shaky words, “and then I found out I was pregnant, and… and you were just gone.”
He watched the pain in her gaze grow sharper and he hated that he had put it there. He slid one hand across her flushed cheek and tilted her face up towards his. He knew in that moment that he’d do anything in the world to banish that look from her troubled gaze. Anything to see her laughing and smiling. He would give her the moon if she asked. The moon and all the stars if it took that anguished looker from her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” The words were soft but heartfelt as they fell across her lips. “I’m so, so sorry.”
