by M. Malone
I glance over to see Finn watching me. “You guys were getting along better. There’s got to be more to this story. What happened?”
Strangely enough, I have somehow pushed the conversation about Emma to the back of my mind. “It was about Emma. He hired her.”
I stand up. I just can’t sit in these stupid beige chairs any longer pretending like everything in my life isn’t completely screwed up. The one person I thought of as normal, perfect and untouched has been a part of this screwed up business from the beginning.
“He hired her?”
“According to Mr. Boyd. But Dad confirmed it.” I give a bitter laugh. “He paid her to convince me to agree to his terms.”
Finn blows out a breath. “Damn. That’s pretty cold.”
“He said that he wasn’t trying to cause trouble but I can’t trust anything that comes out of his mouth. I’m not sure what’s really going on but we should probably all be on guard. He has his motives for bringing us back into his life.”
“Tank! Finn! I got up here as soon as I could.”
For a brief moment, my heart lifts at the sound of her voice. I guess it hasn’t gotten the memo yet that she’s not really ours. She’s not really mine.
Finn turns apologetic eyes to me. “She was in the shower when I got your call. I told her to meet us here.” He glances over to Gabe and Zack. “We’ll go get some coffee.”
Emma looks between us uncertainly. She can surely feel the difference in the way Finn is treating her. He doesn’t even look at her on the way out.
“How is he?”
“Are you asking for my sake or your sake?”
She looks puzzled. “Both. I want him to be okay, too.”
“So he can pay your salary?”
She freezes and her eyes lock on mine. “No. It has nothing to do with that.”
I am so fucking wrecked over this girl. It kills me that she still has secrets. But I’d only known her a month before we started hanging out. The fact that she occupies most of my waking thoughts doesn't make me an expert either.
“I know about the money. Jonathan Boyd told me all about it. That’s what caused the argument that gave my father a heart attack. We were fighting over you.”
She flinches as if each word pierces her through and through. Even though I know she’s a liar, I want to pull her close and shield her from pain. Because this hurts. This really fucking hurts.
“I told him that I didn’t want the money. That I just wanted you. You’ve had so much loss in your life. I didn’t want that again for you.”
“Loss? Yeah I’ve known loss but that doesn’t mean I didn’t believe what we had could last. I know that not everyone is like my dad. My mom stuck around and she took the best care of us that she could. My daddy issues don’t blind me to reality. Plenty of people find a person to give a damn about that manages to stick around. This isn’t about my family. It’s about me and you.”
She pales. “I know. It’s about how I screwed up. That’s why I didn’t want us to get involved. But I just couldn’t stay away from you. Every time I wanted to move away, you just pulled me back in.”
“You know, I told myself not to fall for you because it was too soon and the risk was too high. These kinds of whirlwind things never last. But somehow, with you, I thought it was a risk worth taking. I thought we would be the exception.”
In the sudden silence, I glance around. The other people in the waiting room are watching us with wide eyes and open mouths.
I grab her by the arm and pull her into the stairwell. “Tell me the truth. All of it.”
“When your dad offered me all this money just to ask you to meet with him, I thought it was the answer to my prayers. We’re friends, I didn’t lie about that. I thought he was just a sad old man who wanted to reconnect with his family.”
“That’s why you suddenly wanted to go out. For the money.”
She looks up at me, her eyes swimming with tears. Her face is a mask of guilt and confusion. But I can’t think about whether she’s sorry yet when I’m still not clear about what she’s done. If we’re going to rip the wound open, I’d rather do it all at once.
“It was more than enough money to pay for my undergraduate degree and my tuition for veterinary school. It was a chance to start over. All for nothing, really. Just talking to some guy and asking him a question. I wasn’t prepared for things to get so complicated. I wasn’t prepared for … you.”
Her answer stuns me into silence. But I can’t deal with that. Not here. Not now.
“Yesterday, I tried to give the check back but Jon ...” Her face crumples.
“He was there?” Then I close my eyes. I have truly been blind this whole time. “Your sister’s boyfriend Jon is Jonathan Boyd, my father’s lawyer. Of course.”
She nods, tears slipping down her cheeks. “Yes. He thought I was trying to get more money. I was just trying to give it back.”
“My father’s security guys told me that he has an open warrant in another state. I’m sure they were the ones who told the authorities where he was. He’s in jail now but if I had known … fuck. I had that guy right in front of me. I should have done more than punch him. I’m going to kill him.”
She clutches at my forearms. “I don’t want you to kill anyone. I didn’t want any of this.”
The door behind us opens, the light from the waiting room spilling into the dark stairwell. The brunette nurse looks between us uncertainly. “Mr. Marshall. Your father has just woken up. He’s asking for you.”
I turn back to Emma. “I have to go. Will you … where will you be?”
“This is a family thing. I shouldn’t be here. Go and be with your brothers. And here.” She pushes an envelope into my hands. “I don’t need this. I never did.”
I stuff it in my pocket without opening it.
“Tank?” Emma is watching me, her eyes sad. “Even though he was wrong to do what he did, I think this is what he really wanted.” She points at me and then at Finn, Gabe and Zack standing just inside the doorway.
“I think he just wanted to bring you all together, before it was too late.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
EMMA
I leave the hospital and it feels like I’m escaping a war zone. The woman who interrupted us gives me a sympathetic look as I pass the nurse’s station. I probably look like hell. I press the backs of my hands to my eyes.
My eyes already feel swollen.
Outside on the curb, I pull out my phone and call Sasha. When it goes to voicemail, I hang up and reluctantly call Ivy. She hasn’t been there for me in the way that family should be lately but she’s still my sister.
And she’s the only family I have left.
It rings several times. When the voicemail picks up, my heart sinks. Are we back to that already? She’s not going to answer my calls. I don’t want to go back home. Even though Jon is in jail, I don’t feel like I belong there anymore.
I look behind me at the double doors leading into the hospital lobby. The only place I want to be is back there in that waiting room with Tank. He looked so devastated. So broken.
My phone rings in my hand and Ivy’s number pops up. I answer it immediately. “Ivy?”
“Emma? What is going on? Jon just called me and asked me to bail him out of jail.”
“You didn’t do it, did you?” Sudden panic closes my throat at the thought that Jon might be out roaming the streets freely.
“No. We’re not together anymore. So much has happened, Em.”
“Yeah for me, too. It’s a long story. Can you come get me? I’m at the hospital.”
She agrees and I sit on one of the metal benches out front to wait. Fifteen minutes later, Ivy pulls up in front of the Emergency entrance. I run over to the passenger side and get in the car.
When she sees my face, she gasps. “Oh my god, Emma! What happened to you?”
“Jon happened to me. He was at Mr. Marshall’s suite when I went there yesterday. It’s a long story bu
t he’s been embezzling from Mr. Marshall and he thought I was going to tell the media.”
She lays a hand over the bruises on my wrists. Then her lower lip trembles. “What have I done?”
Whatever I was expecting when I called her, it wasn’t this. “Ivy, it wasn’t your fault.”
She clenches her hand into a fist. “I brought him into our lives. Our house. You tried to warn me so many times and I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t see how right you were until he hit me. I had never seen him like that. I’m so sorry I accused you of being jealous when you called. I already knew what kind of person he was but I was ashamed to admit that I’d been so wrong about him. I’ve been staying with a girlfriend for a while since he kept coming by the house. That’s why I told you it was better if you stayed away. I didn’t want you there dealing with him either.”
“We’ve both made mistakes. I did something. I didn’t tell you the whole story that day when you picked me up from Tank’s apartment.”
“I know I haven’t been a good sister but you can tell me. Tell me now.” She puts the car in gear and pulls off. “I’m not going anywhere for a while.”
That actually brings a smile to my face. It’s something the old Ivy would have said. The real Ivy. The sister I haven’t seen in almost a year.
“Mr. Marshall was my friend. But he was also using me to get to Tank. He offered me money to act as a liaison between them. All he wanted was for me to figure out why Tank was so angry and convince him to give his dad another chance.”
“How much are we talking here?”
I roll my eyes. “Some things never change. That’s not relevant.”
“It is. Because if it’s as much as I’m thinking it is, then a lot of things are starting to make sense. Jon was obsessed with you. I was … I was jealous,” she admits. “I can’t believe I listened to the things he said about you. That you were coming on to him. That you wanted him for yourself. I let him poison me against you. I was so stupid.”
“I’ve been plenty of stupid lately myself.” I think back to that moment when Mr. Marshall first offered me an “opportunity.” If I could have ever guessed the wild twists and turns my life would take as a result of that one choice.
“I shouldn’t have done it. I should have said no right then and there.”
That’s when I lose it. I’m not much of a crier. I usually bear things in silence or in the privacy of my room. But when I think about Tank, how I’ve hurt him, I just lose it. Ivy watches in shock and then pats my back awkwardly.
“I’ve never seen you like this.”
“I hurt him so much. It kills me that he’s hurting. Even more that I’ve caused it. I should have known that there’s no such thing as easy money. Everything comes with a price and apparently the price of my stupidity is hurting people that I’ve come to care about.”
I can still remember the expression on Finn’s face. He was uncomfortable and embarrassed. But he was also hurt. He’d looked truly hurt. I don’t even want to imagine how Claire will feel when she finds out. The choices I’ve made have done a lot more than just torpedo my relationship with Tank. They’ve destroyed my newfound family.
“You must really love this guy.” Ivy glances at me with something akin to fascination. Once we stop at a red light, she digs in her purse and pulls out a small pack of tissues.
I yank out a few and press them against my eyes. “Not that it matters now. I’ve killed any chance we might have had.”
She shakes her head. “No more talk about men. I’m going to put you in some warm pajamas and then I can finally start being a big sister again.”
“Which means, what?”
“Ice cream, of course. Lots and lots of ice cream.”
Ivy digs out a huge spoonful of Rocky Road. “This is the best breakup cure on the planet. Why can’t I just marry Ben and you can take Jerry? We’ll be happy for the rest of our lives.”
Sasha holds up her spoon in agreement. “And they would never betray you.”
Even I have to smile at that one. When Sasha called me back, somehow the entire sordid story came spilling out. I was so choked up that Ivy had to take the phone and explain everything. Together they’d worked out a plan of attack. Ivy was to take me home and get me into my comfort clothes while Sasha would go to the store for the emergency supplies of Butter Pecan, Chunky Monkey and Rocky Road.
“Emma? Ice cream therapy doesn’t work if you’re just staring at the spoon. I bought all this ice cream and you’re not even eating it!” Sasha nudges me with her foot.
“I guess I’m not that hungry.” I pull the knitted afghan on my legs higher. Ever since we got home, I’ve had a chill that I can’t seem to shake. I took a hot shower and I’m wearing leggings under my pajamas but I’m still cold inside. It feels like something died in me.
Ivy puts down her spoon. “Let’s skip to the guy-bashing segment of the evening. I’ll start with how bad Jon’s breath smelled in the morning. Then you can go. Tell us how he’s secretly half bald and that sexy hair is really a hairpiece. Or maybe how he used to clip his toenails in bed. Or how small his—”
“Whoa! I don’t need to know about that. I’m going to have a hard enough time looking him in the eye at Kay and Eli’s wedding as it is.” Sasha stills before her eyes lift to mine. “Sorry. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that.”
“No, it’s okay. Somebody should be happy.”
Her phone beeps and she pulls it out of her bag. “Speaking of Kay, I have to go. I was supposed to be at her place an hour ago.” She pulls me into a hug. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay.”
Ivy gets up and walks her to the door. By the back and forth whispers and the covert glances, I can tell they’re talking about me. After Sasha’s gone, Ivy comes back and sits on the couch right next to me.
“I haven’t pushed you to talk about it any more because I figured you needed a break. But you can talk about him if you need to.”
This is the thing I’ve missed the most about us. My sister being my friend. Being able to tell her about what’s going on in my life and knowing that she’ll have advice and a shoulder to lean on.
“Talking is not going to fix this one. I really screwed up. Getting back into school has been my focus for so long I lost sight of what’s right for a minute there. I saw the money as an easy solution to a problem that I had no idea how to deal with. Except the old me would have known that there are no easy solutions.”
“It’s not your fault. We both kind of fell apart after… that day.” Her eyes fill with tears. “I felt so guilty for not being there. Maybe those monsters wouldn’t have chosen our house if there was another car in the driveway. Maybe we could have overpowered them somehow if we’d been together. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe.”
I grab her hand and she squeezes it tight. We never really talked about that day. At first because it was too fresh and then later because bringing up the past was too painful. I never knew that she’d harbored these thoughts. Maybe we could have helped each other with the feelings of guilt and regret if we’d been able to share them.
“You know it’s not your fault, Ivy. It’s their fault. The people who did it.”
“I know. But the way we feel doesn’t always make sense. But I’m starting to think that by keeping this house, we’re just keeping the worst part of our lives front and center.”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing. This whole situation with school got me thinking. I got some scholarship offers for schools out of state. If I take those, then I’ll be able to finish school and get away from all of this for a while. Get a fresh start.”
Ivy sits up abruptly, her ice cream falling out of her hand and leaving milky white droplets on the front of her shirt. “Em, no! I just got you back. Or I guess I should say, I just got my head out of the sand since I was the one who let a guy come between us. I don’t want you to leave.”
She’s sincere and finally seems to understand what her emotional desertion has been like for me this past yea
r.
“It won’t be forever. Just for school. I’ve gotten some offers from schools in North Carolina. Their financial aid packages are really attractive. I wasn’t considering them before because I just couldn’t imagine leaving Virginia. This is home, you know?”
“It is home. That’s why you need to stay here. Do you really think things are over with Tank?”
I close my eyes. I’m already tired of thinking about it. All I’ve done since that conversation in the stairwell is rehash all the ways I screwed up. All the chances I had to tell him what his father was up to. I wanted to protect him from the truth but the truth wasn’t what he needed to fear. My deception hurt him worse than the truth ever could have.
And now it’s too late. It’s almost nine o’clock. Visiting hours are over and he’s probably back at home. But he hasn’t called or texted. He’s not going to come after me.
“He was so angry. And disappointed. I think that was worse. I betrayed him and now he won’t believe that what we had was real. He’ll always think that I was there because of the money.”
Ivy scoots over on the couch and takes the ice cream container out of my hands. She sets it on the coffee table carefully and then pulls me into a hug. We sit there like that until she reaches over and grabs my ice cream.
“I still say Ben and Jerry are our soul mates.”
And for the first time in a long time, I have my sister back.
TANK
One week later …
It’s the weirdest thing to be in my brother’s house drunk off my ass. I turn my head to the side and watch Finn. He’s spinning slightly. Gabe and Zack followed us to Finn’s penthouse from the hospital since he lives the closest.
He also has a fully stocked bar.
“Okay, big guy. Let’s get you on the couch.” Gabe hoists me up from the floor where I’ve been for the past hour. I think I was on the couch at one point but after a few glasses of scotch, things start to get a little unclear.
