by Eva Luxe
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I had expected to want to fuck Carolina. I hadn't expected to feel this way about her. I hadn’t expected to not be able to get her out of my fucking head.
Chapter 11 – Garrett
I get up and pull up my pants and wash my hands in the sink of the bathroom that is attached to my office. I decide to call my brother and remind myself why I don't do relationships. A good dose of reality is clearly what’s in order here.
"Hey, Brother, how's Mom?" I ask him when he answers.
"Still at it," he says. "Here, I'll put the receiver up closer so you can hear what she's doing."
There’s the sound of dishes crashing around and of my mom saying, "Of course you can't even manage to keep a clean house for your dear ma. You make me live in filth…"
When my brother comes back on the line, he says, "The filth is her fault. I have a housekeeper come clean twice a week, but every time I go to work, Mom insists on making a big mess of things and then blaming me."
"I know how she is. You don't need to explain," I assure him.
I feel a pang of guilt for calling him just to be reminded of why I can't let myself fall in love. The men in my family have a habit of falling for mean, spiteful women. Our mom had been making our lives difficult ever since our poor dad finally divorced her years ago.
"You know," I tell my brother, "My offer stands to pay for her to go to an assisted living facility. There are trained professionals we can pay to put up with her. We certainly make enough money. And if you want, I'll pay for all of it. It would be a monkey off my back to know she wasn't over there bothering you."
"It's fine," my brother says, sighing. "It's not about the money. I just promised Dad I would take care of her should anything ever happen to him. So now I’m living up to my word."
"I know."
He'd told me that a thousand times. And I always reply by saying that his promise doesn’t mean he has to put up with my mom's abuse just because my dad had.
“Taking care of her” could mean paying for her to live in a professional facility where she could be properly medicated— she sure seems to need it— and have companionship, or at least other people to boss around and mistreat instead of doing that to her own family members.
But my brother is nicer than I am and feels obliged to let Mom live with him. There is nothing I can do about it except remind myself not to be so foolish in the name of love.
And that's exactly what I had just done.
"I just wanted to see how things were going. I'll call you later this week so we can go play golf," I tell him.
"All right. I can't wait to get to work so I can get away from her," he says, as I hear my mom yelling, "You tell that no good son of mine I don't even want to talk to him!"
As I hang up, I feel renewed strength in my goals and expectations. Perhaps it was mean of me to call my brother just to remember my priorities, but it worked. It’s his choice to end up a slave to our mother, but I refuse to do that. Nor will I be a slave to any woman.
So this is what I’m going to do.
I’m going to fuck the living daylights out of my new secretary, and she is going to love it. But we will not fall in love. Ours will be nothing other than a secret office romance: short, sweet, and— more importantly— temporary.
Once we have that out of the way, we can move on to have a working relationship without all the sexual tension to distract us. That's why I have to get this out of my system once and for all. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Chapter 12 – Carolina
The few weeks since I’ve been here have proved quite different than that first day when “Overwhelmed Carolina” moved to town. I learned to massage Erin, the beast. And I mean that both literally and figuratively.
She insists on daily neck massages, and even though kneading her knots is a work out, I figure if it keeps her happy, it’s fine. In return, I get all the office gossip from her and Claude, who always know the scoop due to their central location and unassuming positions.
They filled me in on all the office romances. Asher married his associate/mentee Madilyn, and Cameron married his legal assistant, Ruby. The firm’s biggest client, Damien Hudson, married a different legal assistant, Katie. And everyone is pretty sure that the third named partner, Jameson Reed, is carrying on an office affair, but he’s so good at hiding it— and every single female who works at the firm other than me seems so smitten with him, looking for every excuse to work overtime with him or otherwise go into his office for some alone time— that no one can figure out who it’s with, although there are some prime suspects.
I enjoy getting the dirt. And it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only secretary who has ever had a crush on her boss. Apparently, at this firm— which Katie calls “Sugar Daddy Central”— it’s kind of a normal event, and things actually work out sometimes. Katie is friends with Claude and Erin— despite my initial impression, Erin seems to be friends with everyone, and as Garrett said, her rudeness is just an initial front she puts up— and has told me that when she first met Damien she was sure they were going to be together, but she just wasn’t sure how it was going to work out.
She said that was a common theme she’d heard from Madilyn and Ruby— who is one of her best friends— as well. I didn’t tell her I was having similar feelings about Garrett, but somehow I felt she already knew.
I’ve also resigned myself to listening to Erin’s criticism of every man she comes into contact with, from the partners in the firm to the teenaged kid who delivers sandwiches from the deli down the street. If there is one thing I’ve learned about Erin, it’s that she has unreasonably high requirements when it comes to who she wants to date. And, no offense, but she isn’t exactly a perfect ten. A trip to the salon and some carefully applied makeup would help a lot, but still, it’s a good thing she has a lively personality.
Every time she complains about a guy, Claude pipes in with a comment along the lines of, “I will never understand straight people. If you don’t like the guy, don’t talk to the guy.” Or, “If you like the guy, just let the guy know!”
These two are so much fun together, and they make working here interesting. Well, that and the fact that I have a huge crush on my boss that I get to work with all the time.
I love how Erin knows everything that goes on in the firm. She’s like a law database and the neighborhood gossip rolled into one. I look forward to our daily routine, as it helps me to get the lay of the land.
After the first day, I began arriving an hour early every morning. This was partly because I thought Erin could help me with my training during my off time before Garrett showed up, and partly because on or about the third day, I realized she knew everything and wanted to share it all with me. Although she was friendly with everyone, she didn’t seem to have any close female friends in the firm, so I was drafted to fill the position of her BFF.
Also, I wasn’t loving this new city. While it’s true I had come from a small town with not a whole lot going on, Stone was my home. It was quaint, and I knew just about everyone, so weirdly enough, I was never bored.
Erin likes to listen to my stories about small town life. More accurately, she likes to ridicule my stories about small town life, but beggars can’t be choosers. She is someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of, and as time passed, we’ve learned to appreciate each other’s company.
In Albuquerque, my new home, while there is a ton to do compared to back home, I can’t help but feel lonely. I know no one, and I find myself constantly alone and bored. I’d dialed Martha a few times out of desperation. Being a military brat, she’d lived in New Mexico on one of the military bases when she was younger, and she’s insisted I go see the sites— Carlsbad Caverns, White Sands, Old Town Santa Fe— by myself or through joining a meetup, but it has just never felt right.
Maybe I wanted this to be temporary or maybe I just wanted an excuse to fail. Whatever the case, I’m often alone, which only mak
es me sad. My townhouse is near University of New Mexico hospital, and the sound of sirens at all times of the day and night outside my window make me realize things aren’t so bad. At least I’m not in the back of an ambulance with its lights flashing, suffering some horrible disease or accident. But that’s little consolation, to be thinking “at least not that.”
Maybe my fascination with Garrett just stems from boredom. Maybe I think he and I will get together when really it’s all in my head. But I have a feeling I’m about to find out.
Chapter 13 – Carolina
Despite the neck massaging and bitching about men, Erin and I have forged a nice little work relationship. She makes my cappuccino for me every morning, and I start to think her crooked teeth are cute.
Around the end of my first week, she told me that Garrett was facing some serious backlash from the other partners. Some of them were all really old and could barely walk, so at first, I just thought they were jealous. But apparently, not so much.
According to Erin, the all-knowing receptionist extraordinaire, Garrett had been warned many times to stop his behavior with female assistants in the office. Of course, I did sort of walk in on one apparent warning, so I was starting to put things together even without her explanation.
Erin said he was a serial womanizer. She told me the last temp agency paralegal, some well-endowed skirt named Selinda, had quit because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, or so she said.
I couldn’t decipher if Erin was just trying to keep me away from him, or if it was all a little bit overexaggerated. And she did admit that it seemed Selinda was as much into Garrett as Garrett had been into Selinda, so her leaving the firm may have been due to sour grapes on her part. So initially, I tucked it away under “I need absolute proof” in my brain.
Soon enough though, she would be proven right. Not only was I resisting Garrett’s advances from about day two— although I was probably different than most of his office conquests since I wanted him more than I could ever admit— but he would come in late and hungover quite often.
Erin leaned in one morning and whispered to me, “Look, you should know that Garrett spends way too much money on women, drinks to excess, and forgets about his work. And they all know it. Especially that old curmudgeon, Arthur Friedmont. He points out constantly that Berg and his team over in Patent are creaming Garrett in Civil Litigation. I mean, I shouldn’t tell you this, but the only reason he’s not gone is because of his dad. So yeah, nepotism is alive and well. I mean, you really can’t repeat this but you should know since you are his exec ass.”
“His exec ass?”
“Executive assistant.”
“Oh.”
“So, you know, you may have to anticipate fires to put out is all I’m saying. He is performing the most poorly of any partners here. It’s sad, really. I mean, I like Garrett. He’s just in his own way. His emotional IQ must not be very high. And they think— the partners— it’s because he’s too much of a player. They have told him in no uncertain terms to stop chasing women as a national pastime.”
She rolled her eyes as if to indicate that was never going to happen.
“I did try to defend Garrett early on,” she continued. “I’m not afraid of him. Please! This place is peanuts compared to my old firm.”
Here, she shrugged, as if I’d worked a lot of firms myself and would know. But, I didn’t know. I was clueless and just starting to learn the ways of entitled law firm partners.
“Anyway,” she went on, “I told Artie that I knew many terrific lawyers from my last firm who had like three mistresses and not a loss at trial, not a misstep to be had. But he just grumbled something like, ‘Well, clearly they can think with both heads. Mr. Mack cannot.’”
As the words left Erin’s mouth, I started laughing so hard I snorted.
“Yeah, Friedmont is a grump. But just so you have the inside scoop, Garrett has been warned to either not date at all or at least not bring it to work—or settle down with just one woman, which he thinks is impossible.”
My ears pricked up. Immediately, I took note. I was determined to be the one. This was during my first week, and it became my secret goal. I would find a way to tame Garrett, the wild womanizer, without taming his scorching sexiness.
Of course, I still wanted to fuck him silly. I just didn’t intend to become another notch in his bedpost. Still, I would have to somehow remain professional at the same time. I wasn’t sure how, but I was once again feeling my own power.
And I sure am glad I have Erin around to help enlighten me. Every time she and I talk, I become more and more convinced that Garrett feels something for me the way that I do for him. Her stories become less and less about his past conquests and infamy for being a player, and more about how often he asks after me.
“He came looking for you when you were at lunch,” she’ll tell me. Or, “he wants you to go to his office as soon as you’re back.”
Each time, Claude would roll his eyes and say, “Straight people. Just get it on already.”
And I would think: that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.
Chapter 14 – Carolina
These weeks proved wearing on both Garrett and me. Even though I’d been well forewarned by Erin, I was somewhat surprised when it became obvious that Garrett is obsessed with me. No matter how hard I try, I can’t find a way to keep our relationship professional and not let his constant sexual innuendos and suggestive remarks affect me. He’s all I want, and I know that crossing the line will soon be inevitable.
The problem is, even though I want him in the worst way, I need to keep my job. The more I resist, though, the more he seems to persevere. One morning recently, we were working late on a very high-profile class action lawsuit. I had planned to go on my first date with a new guy that night— my first since moving to Albuquerque— but Garrett asked me to stay and type a memo, and typing one memo led to taking notes for a brief he wanted me to work on the following day. Before I knew it, hours had passed and my date was texting me to tell me to just forget it.
The week before, Garrett had come into my office with such a desperate tone, I couldn’t even respond. He had said, “Carolina, I respect you. I do. I respect that you want to keep the professional part of your life professional and keep your private life separate, but Carolina, I can’t fight it. I think about you all the time. I know you know that. I can’t get you out of my mind. And I know you feel it too. Why are you fighting me? Why are either of us fighting this? I need to hold you just once…”
As he turned to leave, I collapsed in my chair, and then he turned back and whispered as if it was the last thing he might ever say:
“Just once… Carolina, let me hold you, touch you, caress you the way you deserve. Just once. I promise I’ll never bother you again.”
Normally, I would have quit my job that very day. It was such a conflict, and quite frankly he was crossing the line simply by saying what he had said, but I thought about him morning, noon, and night.
He was right. I fantasize all the time about our first embrace. I fantasize about Garrett undressing me, caressing me, fucking me. So, he is right. However wrong it is, he is right. I am finding the resistance absolutely miserable.
Tonight, I’m at home, bored and lonely once again, wishing I could be with Garrett. I open my legs and let my fingers trail down to my pussy. I rub my clit while I think about letting Garrett undress me with his fingers the way he always does with his eyes.
I reach into a box of still unpacked items and pull out my nearly long-lost vibrator. I rub it around on the outside of my clit, wishing it was Garrett. I slip a finger into my hole as I let the vibrator hum along on my clit.
How I want his mouth on me. His fingers. His cock.
My hips writhe as I think about him picking me up and wrapping my legs around him, then burying his cock into me. He’ll fuck me while he grasps my ass, and I’ll love it.
I cum all over my finger and the vibrator, wishing I could come on G
arrett. I have to do something to quench my thirst. I have to have him, it’s killing me.
Chapter 15 – Carolina
The law firm has a large cafeteria where all employees can eat. Today, I’m eating here rather late, because I was working on dictation for Garrett over lunch, so that he would have it when he got back from his own lunch break. I’m the only person in the room. I’m daydreaming about Garrett, as usual, and how I had let myself come yesterday while thinking about him.
Suddenly, Madilyn, Ruby and Katie walk in. Just the people I’ve been wanting to see. I have some questions for them, for sure.
“Hi, Carolina!” Madilyn says, coming over to me. “Looks like you found out when the cool people like to eat. No one around to overhear or disrupt our crazy conversations.”
They all have brought lunch from home, whereas I always run to the local deli because I’m not as organized as they are.
“Hi,” I tell them, eager to have some friends.
“How has your pregnancy been going?” I ask Ruby, looking at her large baby bump. She has to be overdue by now. But I know nothing about pregnancy. For all I know, she’s only six months pregnant and has to endure torture for another three months.
“Great,” she says, with the glow of a happy pregnant woman. “It shouldn’t be long now. I’ve already put in for my maternity leave.”
“Thank goodness,” I say immediately on her behalf, glad that her stomach doesn’t have to stretch much bigger.
She gives me a confused look and I realize I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. Me and my big mouth.
“Thank goodness that the firm gives you good maternity leave,” I say, quickly correcting myself.
“Yes, that is good,” she agrees. “So how about you? Have you been liking working here?”
I smile and decide to tell them the truth, since all three of them are looking at me expectantly.
