by Kim Baldwin
“Great to hear.” Bryson waded across the shallows and offered a hand to help Karla out of the skiff. When Karla took it, she felt a moment of regret that both of them had gloves on. It was silly to be wanting to touch her, even like this. Get a grip.
Karla hopped off the skiff, splashing water onto Bryson’s jeans, but Bryson didn’t care. Karla’s expression was so pleased and expectant that it seemed she, too, was determined to push aside their initial friction and start fresh. Bryson was really looking forward to their afternoon together.
*
“It’s impossible to describe this with words.” Karla’s voice was full of awe as she surveyed the endless wilderness that stretched before them. “Certainly worth the hike getting up here.”
The view from the 4,600-foot peak of Mathews Dome was one of Bryson’s favorites, for it enabled her to see many miles in all directions: the vast valley of the Wild River as it stretched toward Bettles to the south, the Flat River gorge to the east, and Wild Lake, more than six miles to the northwest. She handed Karla her binoculars and pointed. “You can make out Maggie and Lars’s cabin, there—up from that little inlet. See the glint of reflection on the water? That’s the skiff.”
Karla put the binoculars to her eyes and adjusted the focus. “Oh, yeah, I see it.” She followed the shoreline north, surveying the entirety of the long body of water. “They have the whole lake to themselves?”
“A couple of primitive cabins are tucked up in the woods on this side. But only hunters use them, a few weekends a year. And a gold mine’s just north of the lake, but it operates only in summer.”
“The water is so smooth it looks like glass.” Karla handed back the binoculars and sighed with contentment. “I bet you come up here a lot, don’t you?”
“Great place to sit and think. You feel so small in such an enormous landscape. Yet still a very integral part of everything. That make sense?”
“Yes. Humbled, but embraced, like you’re part of time immemorial. Experiencing the world as it was hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago.”
“Exactly.”
“Not many places like that left.” She turned to Bryson. “With how much you obviously love all this, I bet you’re pretty passionate about environmental issues.”
“Oh, yeah. I don’t pay a lot of attention to politics in general, but I keep up with anything that might impact the land, the water, the air, the animals. Especially efforts to drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Unfortunately, most Alaskans favor it because we all get checks every year based on state oil revenues. But drilling would have such a negative impact on the caribou herd and a lot of other wildlife that a lot of people oppose it. Skeeter keeps up-to-date on what’s going on through the Internet and clues in the rest of us.”
“Wow. Did you say everyone gets checks from the state?”
“Most everybody. You have to have lived here at least a year and intend to stay indefinitely. The dividends come out of something called the Alaska Permanent Fund. Usually it’s about a thousand dollars, but last year I got a check for more than thirty-two hundred.”
“Well, that’s definitely one benefit of living up here.”
“We also don’t pay any sales taxes or state income tax. Just federal.” Bryson leaned back on her elbows, legs stretched out in front of her. “But it doesn’t amount to that much once you figure in how much more expensive everything is.”
“I know that you and Lars are both part of an outfitters’ group, but I didn’t see Maggie’s name on the Web site. Does she stay at home all the time?”
“No, she’s taking time off while she’s pregnant. She’s a biologist for the NPS in the Gates of the Arctic National Park.” Bryson gestured east. “Park boundary is only seven miles that way.” Then she pointed north. “And two upriver of the lake. Maggie takes that way in, in the skiff, or I fly her where she needs to go.”
“That sounds like a cool job. I’ll have to ask her about it.”
“Get her to tell you about the time a big ol’ bull moose wanted to get a little too friendly during mating season.” Bryson chuckled. The moose had been so convinced that Maggie was the hottest thing around she’d had to spend half a day up a tree.
“I will. I bet you’ve had a few misadventures, too, spending so much time in the bush.”
“Hard not to.” She didn’t want to volunteer her own, however, as most had been life-threatening situations, not laugh-about-it-later moose encounters. And since Karla’s statement seemed an attempt to get her to do just that, she thought it was a good time to change the subject. “Really glad you and Maggie are hitting it off so well. Have you decided how long you’re going to stay?” During their trek up the mountain, Karla had elaborated on her morning with Maggie, but she hadn’t mentioned her plans.
“Yes. They asked me to stay until after the baby’s born, and I’m pretty sure I can arrange that with the hospital.”
“That’s great!” Bryson blurted, with the enthusiasm of someone who’d just won the lottery, and felt immediately self-conscious. She couldn’t be more transparent about her hope that Karla extend her visit.
But Karla responded with a pleased and bashful smile. “I’m glad you think so, in spite of the fact I was kind of obnoxious when we met.” She shrugged apologetically. “And I hope that means you’ll want to show me more places like this,” she added, “because I’ve had a wonderful day. I enjoy your company.” Once more, she gazed out over the landscape, looking toward the Rasmussen cabin. “I’ll never, ever forget this moment. For the first time in what seems like forever, I feel completely at peace.”
*
The expanded Rasmussen household soon settled into a comfortable routine that satisfied all of them. Karla took on all the cooking, Lars kept the place spotless, and Maggie got waited on hand and foot, so she had no reason to break pottery or throw food. Karla kept a close eye on her pregnancy, massaging her swollen feet and ankles twice a day and monitoring her blood pressure and the baby’s heartbeat. Every daylight hour that Karla wasn’t cooking and Maggie wasn’t sleeping, they sat side by side on the bed or on the couch, trading stories of their lives.
Bonding with Maggie and sharing memories of their mother helped Karla deal with the grief that had haunted her since the funeral and Abby’s betrayal. She cried on Maggie’s shoulder during the moments it still overwhelmed her, finding solace in her sister’s calming reassurance that time would mend her heart. And in her quiet moments alone she thought frequently of Bryson, reliving their time on the mountain, and that, too, helped erase some of her despondency.
On the sixth day of her stay, Karla’s spirits lifted further when Bryson phoned and invited herself over to grill the caribou steaks she’d stashed in her cooler. She told Lars not to bother picking her up because she’d borrowed Skeeter’s floatplane and would fly in. Maggie’s doctor’s appointment was the next morning, and taking the four-passenger Cessna would save Maggie a boat ride and allow Lars to accompany her on the flight to Fairbanks.
“Bryson said you’re welcome to come along tomorrow,” Lars told Karla as they headed down to the lake to meet the plane. “She sounded like she wasn’t sure you’d want to.”
Karla had to laugh. “Probably because both times I’ve flown with her I haven’t been exactly the calmest passenger. I hate small planes.” She still didn’t care to repeat the experience, but with Maggie so close to her delivery date, it would be a good idea to force herself. “I’ll go. Not happily, mind you. But I should ride along.”
Lars pulled her up short and bear-hugged her. “Thanks. I know you’re doing it for us.”
Viewed head-on, Skeeter’s orange-and-gold floatplane looked from a distance like a flying pumpkin with a hat and metal shoes. More whimsical than terrifying. She vowed to try to keep that image in mind when she boarded it the next morning for the two-and-a-half-hour flight to the doctor’s.
Karla waved when the Cessna was still a long way off, though she doubted Bryson could make them out aga
inst the rocky bank of the lake. But the plane immediately tipped its wings to wave back and began to descend. The single silhouette at the controls became clearer as the plane touched down, spraying water in two wide streams on either side. Most of Bryson’s features were concealed beneath the brim of her ball cap and oversized sunglasses, but the smile that dominated the lower half of her face told her she was just as happy to see them as Karla was to see her.
Bryson cracked her door as the propeller began to die. “Hi there! How’s it going?”
“Great! Good to see you.”
“Maggie’s really missed you,” Lars said as he helped Bryson tie off the Cessna. “Fair warning, she’s gonna bend your ear a while.”
Bryson laughed. “No worries. I’ve missed her, too.” She reached into the Cessna and hauled out two grocery bags. “Brought her a bunch of new magazines. Imagine she’s getting restless being cooped up in bed so much.”
“It’s certainly helped that Karla’s been around to keep her occupied. And,” he added, opening his jacket to display a pristine sweatshirt underneath, “she’s been feeding us so well Mag hasn’t thrown anything since she got here.”
Maggie was waiting in the open doorway. “Good God, woman, about damn time you hauled your ass our way for a visit.”
Bryson trotted up the steps and carefully embraced her, then bent to put her mouth near Maggie’s belly. “Your momma’s such a sweet-talker.”
Maggie swatted Bryson’s head away, laughing. “Get in here and start cooking. I’m starved.”
“Big surprise there, since she hasn’t eaten in at least two hours,” Lars mumbled under his breath to Karla as they followed them inside. “Hope Bryson brought a couple extra steaks.”
*
Once she’d caught up on all the Bettles gossip and her tummy was full to bursting, Maggie waddled off to bed.
“I’ll get the dishes,” Lars offered, “if you two want to have some coffee on the porch. I’ll join you in a while.”
“Shall we?” Karla asked Bryson. “It’s become my nightly ritual. I love to watch the sun set from there.”
“Sold. Lead on.”
Seated side by side in hand-hewn Adirondack chairs, they admired the lowering sun in silence as it turned the mountains golden-orange. When darkness fell, Karla lit a kerosene lantern that hung near the front door. “Did Lars tell you I’m riding along tomorrow?”
“No, he didn’t. And I gotta say, I’m surprised. Though happy about it, for sure. Long ways to Fairbanks, and Maggie’s awful close to time.” Bryson stretched out her legs. “Had a woman go into labor just after I got my license, and it wasn’t an experience I’d like to repeat.”
“What happened?”
“Once it got real clear the baby was coming whether we liked it or not, I set the plane down and helped her deliver. We were still a couple hours from anywhere. Thank God there weren’t any complications, and she’d been through it before and knew what to do. I took first aid but I wasn’t ready for that.”
“Everything turned out okay, though?”
“Oh, yeah. In fact, she named the baby after me. A boy.” Bryson grinned. “Bet she was happy I wasn’t a Rebecca or Mary Anne or something.”
“Bryson suits you.” Karla studied her face. “Unique, for a girl. Strong. Down-to-earth. Where did it come from?”
“Pop was Brice. And he wanted a son.” Her face turned melancholic, and her eyes filled with tears.
“Ah. I see.” Bryson did seem the quintessential tomboy, though a very feminine one. She’d learned to fly from her father, and her fondest memories included watching him make furniture. The two had clearly been extremely close. “I suspect it didn’t take long for him to appreciate how lucky he was to have been blessed with a daughter instead.”
Bryson looked down at her feet as a slow smile spread across her face. “Well, yeah. I expect he’d have said that was true enough.”
“How long has he been gone?”
“Five years.”
Yet it was obvious Bryson still missed him deeply. “They say it gets better in time. Maggie claims it does. But I can’t imagine thinking of Mom without getting this unbelievably terrible ache in my chest and knot in the pit of my stomach.”
“It doesn’t really get better,” Bryson said. “Just more tolerable. The rawness scars over. I know right now it’s hard to get past thinking about the end. Finding out they’re gone, the realization sinking in. The painful acceptance. But eventually that fades, and what remains are the great, joyful times that made the deepest impressions. That’s when you can let go of the grieving and move on.” Her gaze was inward, her mind obviously engaged entirely on images of her father.
“How did he die?”
Bryson didn’t answer right away. “I probably shouldn’t tell you, since you’re already not the biggest fan of flying and we’re going up tomorrow. But Pop was killed when his plane crashed into a mountain. Ran into a williwaw, kind of a freak downdraft that happens sometimes here, mostly along the coast. Can’t see ’em, can’t predict ’em. It’s like running into a tornado.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was quick. And fitting, I guess. The way he’d have wanted it. Just too soon.”
“It doesn’t seem to matter how old you are,” she said, “when your parents go, that word orphan takes on a whole new meaning.”
“Yeah.” Bryson’s face was half in shadow, so her expression was hard to read. “But hasn’t finding Maggie made it easier?”
“Oh, for sure. For now.”
“For now?”
“Easier now, tougher later. Having gotten close to her, it’ll be hard to go back to living on the other side of the world. We won’t even have the luxury of being able to webcam or chat on the phone whenever we like.”
“Satellite phones aren’t the most reliable. But maybe Skeeter can hook you up on his computer when Maggie’s in town.”
“Still won’t be enough. Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll be able to afford coming out here except maybe once every couple of years.” Karla had been in Alaska only a week, and already she was dreading the thought of leaving her new family and Bryson to go back to her empty apartment. The long howl of a wolf from far off to their left pierced the quiet. An answering cry followed from their right, much closer. Karla shrank back against her chair, peering out into the black forest for signs of movement. “Every morning and every evening. Like clockwork. But it always unnerves me. I don’t know as I’d ever get used to it.”
“I love it,” Bryson said. “Has to be the loneliest sound in the world, but somehow reassuring at the same time. Another creature reaching out, trying to make a connection that transcends distance. Makes me feel like I’m not so alone, somehow.”
“I still don’t know how you can deal with living by yourself so far from everything, especially in winter. I’d go nuts.”
“Not for everyone. I have my moments, too, when it gets hard.” Bryson paused as another howl echoed across the lake. “Living here is like sailing alone around the world on a tiny boat. Your life is stripped down to bare essentials, and your priorities really become clear. Food, shelter, family. All the trivial and insignificant things that most people worry about don’t matter. It’s freeing in many ways, but it does drive home the fact that you’re all by yourself.”
“Doesn’t have to be that way,” Lars interrupted from the doorway. “You get opportunities, Bryson. You just don’t follow up on ’em.”
Bryson squirmed and glanced at Karla. “I should have warned you to watch out for this one. He loves to play matchmaker.”
“There are worse things than being someone who looks out for their friends.”
“Well put, Karla.” Lars leaned against the front rail and grinned down at Bryson. “Sometimes you need to push people a little to get them to fulfill their potential.”
“I’m ready for a push.” Karla said, getting to her feet to stretch. “I feel kind of rudderless at the moment, to use your boat analogy.”
“You’ve had a lot to deal with all at once. It’s understandable.” Lars put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. “But now you’ve got all of us to help steer you in the right direction. Right, Bryson?”
“Whatever we can do.”
“Your first order of business will be to get me on that plane in the morning without hyperventilating.” Karla fought back a yawn as she reached for her coffee mug. “I’ll deal with everything else once we all get back, how’s that?”
“Sounds like a plan. Looks like you’re about ready to hit the sack,” Lars observed.
“I am. It’s these crazy short days. I know it’s not that late, but I guess my body is programmed to fade when it gets dark.”
“We do have an early start tomorrow. I’ll join you. Coming, Bryson?”
“Be there in a while.” As soon as they went inside, Bryson relaxed back against the chair and allowed herself to relive images from the evening. It had been wonderful seeing Maggie again, and she always had a relaxing, fun time with the Rasmussens. But she’d focused on their house guest tonight. Karla had almost caught her staring several times, but she couldn’t stop herself. Whether she wanted to or not, her mind was determined to record every little detail about her: the almost imperceptible bump in her nose, the thin scar above her left eyebrow, the way she slightly pursed her lips a millisecond before she laughed and so gave herself away. It was foolish, she knew, pining after someone totally unavailable. She told herself it was just a crush that would pass in time. What else could she do?
Chapter Fourteen
November 2
“Breathe, Maggie. Nice deep breaths. Try to relax.” Karla kept her voice calm as she adjusted the cuff to take another reading. Maggie’s blood pressure had been rising steadily since they’d been in the air, and they were still several miles from Fairbanks.
“Should we be worried?” Lars turned in his seat beside Bryson and glanced back anxiously at Maggie as Karla fitted the stethoscope in her ears and inflated the cuff.
