The Bunnie all fiddled with their translators. Jeff fiddled with his. The glitch went away.
“Do it, human,” one Bunnie said.
“Hurry,” said another.
“Make him do it,” a third said to Not-Kim, and the others joined in. Not-Kim tried to shush them as he poked at the machine before him. Some of the others reached over to help with the controls, but he swatted their claws away.
“We need to give the system a minute to reboot,” Jeff said. He pulled his translator from the pouch and palmed it. It was hard to tell whether any of the Bunnie saw, but their attention was fixed on the terminal and on Not-Kim. He sidled close to Jordan.
“Jordan, get the Grey,” Jeff whispered. “Bring him in here. And get ready to run if this doesn't work.” He slipped the translator back. It seated back in the null-space pouch without any kind of satisfying sensation, and it didn't matter what side was up. Maybe he was used to the thing. The translator just started working once back inside. None of the invaders had noticed him speaking without the benefit of translation. They'd understand him if they were paying close attention, but the devices preferred both parties to be connected in to the service. If they were alert to what was said, they didn't show it. If Not-Kim or any of the Bunnie actually spoke English, they missed it in their excitement.
“..taking so long,” Not-Kim was saying. He bounced on a few of his legs. The other Bunnie bobbed as well. The excitement was catching. The two invaders that weren't quite in the room craned themselves high to see what was going on. They, too, chattered and clicked.
“Patience,” Jeff said. He moved towards the command console through the pack of Bunnie, finding it impossible not to rub against their warm, wiggling bodies and all that wiry hair. He passed right under clenching mandibles and sharp fangs. One Bunnie dripped foamy white saliva or venom from his mouth.
Jordan pushed the Bunnie aside that held her. “I need to assist the other human,” she said. He let her go, his attention on his leader. She headed towards the vault door and ducked between the two Bunnie still outside and went to the downed group of Greys in the antechamber. There the Head Grey lay like a tuckered-out child, a wicked, evil child with plans for galactic conquest or destruction. Through the forest of Bunnie legs, Jeff saw her grab the Head Grey by a foot and drag it back to the vault, its head bonking on the lip of the room.
One of the Bunnie blocked her path with an outstretched arm, looking at her and at her cargo.
“What are you doing?” the Bunnie said.
“Focus,” she said to him. “It's time. You've won. I'm very excited for you. Please move.”
He moved, and she pushed her way over to Jeff, the Grey in tow. Jeff gave her a nod and leaned in towards the eye. Not-Kim stopped him, a claw to Jeff's chest.
“You don't get to touch the terminal, human,” Not-Kim said. “Tell me what to do.”
Jeff shrugged. “Okay, it's simple. Access the BIOS as it reboots by getting the computer to acknowledge pre-boot protocol, like a function key, but don't hit anything that might change a setting and accidentally save and exit the pre-boot cycle. Next-”
“You do it,” Not-Kim said. He got out of the way. Jeff stepped up to the terminal. Not-Kim placed two arms down on his shoulders. “No tricks.”
“It's just a computer,” Jeff said. “And I'll need Jordan's help.”
“I'm right here,” Jordan said.
Not-Kim snatched her up with a pair of free claws. She dropped the Grey, who fell limp to the vault floor, still in its stunned stupor.
“Hey!” she screamed.
“Tricks will have consequences,” Not-Kim said. He held Jordan up off the ground by her arms, like a fly that could easily be de-winged. The other Bunnie tittered, and a couple poked at her as she kicked at the air.
“I need her for this,” Jeff said.
“Do it without her. But do it, or she will pay.”
Jeff placed a hand against the red eye, and the monitor winked to life, as did the projected displays that again painted the air with data. Jeff looked over the countless options.
“Then you help me,” Jeff said. “Find the line of text that says Help Menu.”
The Bunnie pointed quickly to a line of text that said just that. “Simple,” Not-Kim said. “Maybe I don't need you.”
“Okay,” Jeff said. “Now hit that.”
Not-Kim touched the help command. The text and data shifted, and several prompts appeared, offering input and FAQs and charts and a half-dozen animated assistants willing to give the user a tour through the operating system and its features. Like most of the responses the Commons computers gave in Jeff's experience, this system didn't hold back from offering overwhelming options.
Not-Kim got close to the terminal, Jordan still suspended above him. He read through the many options, two of his fellows leaning in until he pushed them back. He flexed and was ready to tap away at the input devices.
Jeff said, “Display manual command protocol for all Commons members with security access.”
Not-Kim turned to him, not understanding. The security computer did. The screen scrolled and flashed the information, and soon the room was partitioned with the requested data that flew by at a breakneck pace. The other Bunnie were painted with light, the information running wall to wall and floor to ceiling. Not-Kim tried to take it all in, twitched, shook his head, and looked at Jeff, clearly bewildered.
“Pay attention!” Jeff said. “Are you paying attention?”
Not-Kim looked back at the growing list of protocols filling the room, his jewel eyes moving about, lost in the vast array of commands that could be used on this computer. As he did this, the other Bunnie leaned in, too, and were trying to read through the screens that scrolled by. Some even reached to touch the data stream, but Not-Kim barked and swatted at them. Jeff backed up a few slow steps. Bunnie stood behind him and at his sides, but they were intent on helping their leader crack this last hurdle to controlling the city. Jeff reached for the Head Grey still on the floor. He grabbed a clammy pale hand.
“None of these,” Not-Kim said, head shaking. “None of these options will apply to me or any of us. We are not Commons members. Is this...some sort of trick?”
Jeff returned to the terminal, the Grey dragging behind him.
“Just relax,” Jeff said. “You just need the right command to get past this part. Deactivate security.”
“Secondary authorization needed,” the computer said. It sounded disappointed to have had to repeat itself.
Jeff took the Grey and placed one of its hands against the red eye. The screens went blank, and the eye winked once. A hiss came from the walls, and some of the panels rattled. The alarms shut off, sending the security headquarters and the entire city into a strange silence. Jeff worked his jaw. His ears rang. The alert messages and klaxons all ceased as a security protocol that went untested and forgotten by generations of Commons citizenry turned on.
Jeff would later read of the many ideas for acceptable security procedures that were scrapped during the planning stages for the Galactic Commons. Bullets and other projectiles were out, as they were lethal, as were lasers, masers, and disintegrators. Neurotoxins were cruel and could cause permanent injury and death. Flesh eating bacteria took too long during a crisis, and at least a dozen species didn't want any competition. And again, death resulted to most Commons citizens once they were consumed. Several forms of nonlethal crime suppression almost made the cut, like flashing stun lights or ultrasound devices that could sicken the target, but these options didn't work on all species. The original security committee came to the current measure that was put in place, one that was nonlethal, but very, very messy. But there were bots for that.
“Security Protocol Deactivated,” the snooty computer voice said. The red eye went dark.
Then the eye returned but turned blue. A softer voice, feminine, still mechanical but with the hint of a purr said, “Security emergency response subroutine initiated. Are you sure you w
ant to continue?”
Would this program think he was lying? Flemming had said it had never been turned on before. The Grey was also cocky and may have never guessed anyone would get to this point. Jeff estimated a fifty-fifty chance that this would either do something or Not-Kim would pop his head off his body. Jeff shouted, “Yes! Continue! Initiate!”
Nothing happened.
“Tricks!” Not-Kim said, and he grabbed Jeff by the neck and started to squeeze. Jeff gasped, choked, thought his neck would break before he suffocated. He pulled at the Bunnie's arms, tried to shift and twist out of his grasp but couldn't. The thing was too strong.
A deep rumbling thunder filled the room, followed by a hiss. Not-Kim looked about, distracted, and let up enough on Jeff so he could breathe. The sound rolled across the floor and up the walls, and soon the ceiling began to vibrate. Sea-green goo shot out from tiny waist-high holes, spattering at everyone and everything in the vault. The Bunnie screamed, some jumped, but as soon as any leaped off the floor, the green stuff erupted from the ceilings. The gunk proved wet and slimy, and it ran over everything. It foamed and frothed as it made contact with the air. Not-Kim dropped Jordan and released Jeff and tried to block the holes, but there were too many of them.
The Blue eye twinkled. “Please relax and remain motionless,” the female voice said. “The product you are being covered with is nonlethal. It is also organic, hypoallergenic, and nonreactive. Emergency systems have been activated. Please be patient as Commons Security handles the current crisis.”
Avoiding the goo was like avoiding getting wet inside a washing machine. The sludge found and hit everyone. Jeff reached for Jordan as Not-Kim dropped her. He snagged her wrist and began to push through the Bunnie towards the vault door when he realized he couldn't move. The goo on his feet went from viscous watery snot to slow running tar in moments. It ran ankle deep on the floor, trapping him. Rivulets that ran across his body thickened and began to tighten. Seconds later, the goo swelled, expanding across his body and filling most of the spaces in the room. It hardened fast, clumping thick around Jeff, Jordan, and the invaders like comfy concrete that still allowed circulation and breathing. Somehow, the stuff didn't cover the nose, mouth, or eyes, actually receding away from these. But not only could Jeff not walk, he couldn't move anything. The Bunnie were stuck, too, their waving arms and bouncy legs immobilized. They shrieked and keened and clicked angrily, but the goo ignored them.
The blue eye continued to sparkle. Above and around it, a few of the screens still visible flickered and came to life. Images of the lobby below appeared, as did a vid feed from the outside of the security building. The walls next lit up with live footage taken from multiple points throughout the city. The goo wasn't just inside the vault, but it shot out everywhere and onto anything that moved, sticky sheets of glop bringing every living thing on the streets throughout the Commons to a halt. Tiny closed vents long ignored and dismissed as decorative, redundant, or nonessential opened up and flooded the city with the binding stuff.
Jeff saw on one screen the central elevator terminal where the invasion had begun. Several Bunnie roamed the place. Victims of the initial onslaught filled the floor of the giant lobby, each wrapped in cocoons of white. The Bunnie perked up when the walls of the terminal began to shake. They looked about, uncertain of what to do. The erupting goo shot out of its holes from the floor, from columns, and from the walls and ceilings. It caught the patrolling Bunnie by surprise, snaring most of them, the dripping stuff hardening in moments and locking the invaders in place.
A few of the Bunnie escaped. Jeff now saw a few of the once-dormant maintenance bots chasing after them. Goo fired from nozzles in their heads. The bots surrounded the last of the Bunnie and hosed them down. Soon, nothing moved on any of the monitors save for the tiny bots now weaving about the streets, passing scores of immobilized Bunnie and hundreds of stuck citizens, treads rolling over frozen rivulets of green.
“Remain calm,” the female voice said. Jeff tried to move an arm, a leg, or even his head. Staying calm was a reasonable option.
Some of the Bunnie mewled and sobbed. One kept saying, “But it's time, but it's time,” over and over.
A short maintenance bot came into the vault, its nimble treads traversing over the hardened sea of goo with ease. It ducked under and around the two Bunnie still blocking the door and headed straight for Jeff. It had to stop as the mass of glued invaders formed a wall. A number of antennae-like arms emerged from the bot's shop-vac-shaped torso. The tips of these new appendages sparked and carved sections of goo between the Bunnie. The material either loosened or liquefied. The air filled with the sounds of popping and crackling. Soon, the busy bot was able to move entire goo-locked Bunnie after cutting them free, lifting and carrying them like spidery icebergs, still leaving them immobilized and helpless to do naught but watch. It stacked them one by one in the antechamber like unwanted store mannequins. The goo didn't stop the Bunnie from complaining, so they clicked and yelled and cursed.
Jeff flinched as the bot drew close to him. “About time,” he said. “Get me out of here, but be careful.”
The tips of the bots arms lit up like sparklers. It carved away, not at the goo around Jeff, but at the Grey that lay below him. The bot pulled the Head Grey out from under the mess of Bunnie and human. Green goo dripped away from the Grey's body. Jeff could do little but watch.
“Hey,” Jeff said. “Computer, free me. Free all humans. Hello?”
Perhaps the computer had goo on its audio receivers. It ignored him.
Jordan mrrphhed in agreement from somewhere under Not-Kim.
Not-Kim's record was stuck on “Nonono” as he fought against the goo's hold in vain.
The bot carried the Grey back to the antechamber and set it down just outside the vault door. Another bot rolled up, did something to the Grey, and the little creature sat up. The entire group of Greys that had been stunned by the Bunnie was freed and revived as well, all now congregating around the front of the vault. Scents soon filled the air as the Greys communicated with one another. They whispered and gestured, and Jeff could only watch.
“Hey guys,” Jeff said. “You may want to listen to me before you do anything else your buddy suggests.”
The Head Grey entered the vault and walked over to Jeff. It held a weapon in one hand, something Jeff hadn't seen before. It was red and ugly with an enormous barrel. It didn't look like a zap and get back up kind of gun.
Jeff flinched in anticipation of getting shot, or worse. He said as loudly as possible, “As much as you are all loyal to one another, this guy has been lying to you. He's been lying!” Although the goo didn't block his mouth or nose, getting enough breath to shout wasn't easy.
The Grey brought the red pistol up and placed a pasty hand over Jeff's mouth. The barrel looked like a dark tunnel and Jeff didn't want to know what might come out of it. But he was helpless. The Grey's skin reeked of rotten eggs.
“Wait,” another of the Grey said.
The Head Grey looked back, irritation washing over its face. The weapon danced before Jeff's eyes.
“Do not fire,” yet another Grey said.
Other Greys walked into the vault, all the same height and color, indistinguishable from one another.
“This...this,” the Head Grey began, a bubble of foam at its mouth. “This human is the problem. We can't listen to his lies.”
Jeff tried to speak, but the Grey's hand kept muffling him. He bit one of the Head Grey's fingers. The Head Grey screamed, pulled its hand away.
“I'm not lying,” Jeff said. “I know that doesn't wash if you think everything I say is untrue, but trust your eyes. Look at your fellow. Does he look right to you?”
More pheromone chains erupted from the brood's scent glands until the vault clouded up. The atmosphere scrubbers kicked in, blowing in cooler air and venting out the cloying odors filling the room. The other Greys stood around the Head Grey, their serene disposition a contrast to the Head Grey's tre
mbling fists and bared teeth. None spoke aloud.
“I don't understand any of that,” Jeff said, “And I think that's part of the problem. Maybe you know about this, maybe you don't, but no one understands you guys when you talk to one another like that. Do you know that?”
“What do you mean?” one Grey asked.
“Enough,” the Head Grey said. It raised the weapon. Just as it squeezed the trigger, another Grey snatched the gun away. The blaster fired with a deep bass pop, putting a hole in the ceiling above. It had missed Jeff by inches. The Head Grey tried to grab the weapon, but two other Greys pushed him back.
“Explain, human,” the Grey that now held the weapon said.
“I don't understand what you're saying when you speak with the scents,” Jeff said. “No one does, even with translators.”
A mustard smell hit Jeff in the face.
“Whatever that meant, I don't follow. If me and the rest of the galaxy were meant to be out of the loop of your communication, then fine. If your friend has convinced you that the Bunnie are here for anything other than bringing the entire Commons down, then he is the one that is lying. Look around you. If you have access to the footage from the transport terminal, watch what the Bunnie were doing to the people there. Don't believe me for my words.”
“Computer, reset security param-” the Head Grey started to say.
A Grey with a stunner fired and sent the Head Grey to the floor.
“You don't look so well, Irving,” the Grey with the stunner said to its fallen brood mate.
“Mrvving?” Jordan said from somewhere under a wall of goo and trapped Bunnie.
“Irving?” Jeff said. “You have individual names?”
“We have [individualized scent packets that designate],” the Grey said.
Buzz. Click. The distortion wave passed through Jeff's head and went away just as fast.
“Speaking them aloud just hasn't been a practice with us,” the Grey continued. “We never felt the need to identify ourselves to others beyond our brood. I'm Phil.”
Other Greys spoke in turn with introductions. Jeff met Bruce, Monique, Aziz, and Brenda.
A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth Page 29
