Except right now she was doing exactly that.
Remembering every horrible moment, every terrible feeling, crying and sobbing for the first time since it happened, reliving the nightmare when she didn’t want to…
…and in a hotel room alone.
CHAPTER SEVEN
FOR THE FIRST time since she had started working for him, Ella wondered if she could face breakfast with Santo and going through his diary. They always started the week like that, and as she’d had yesterday off, it would be assumed she would meet him in the hotel restaurant at 6:00 a.m., as they did when on location.
Ella stood in front of the mirror after a very sleepless night. A cool shower had done little to reduce her swollen eyelids and the tip of her nose was bright red.
She looked like a woman who had spent the night crying.
Except she hadn’t, as Santo would no doubt assume, been crying over him—it was the issues that he had alluded to that had finally made her break down.
It had been six months without tears.
Six months of telling herself that she was strong, that she would not let what her father had done affect her, would not let his fists bruise her soul.
But they had.
It wasn’t just the beating that had left its mark.
It was the years that had.
Years of watching her mother suffer, years of walking on eggshells so as not to upset him, years of scrimping and saving to afford a home where she could take her mother away from him.
Ella was in danger of crying again, so she chose not to think about that awful day. Instead she attempted magic with a make-up brush, but nothing was really going to work. So, once dressed, it was Ella who donned huge sunglasses this morning and took the elevator down, fervently hoping that Santo would be polite and pretend not to notice the state of her face.
‘Jesus!’ He stood up as she approached the table. Of course he looked immaculate and well rested. Because it was Santo he promptly took her glasses off—he was just so bloody Italian—and wrapped her in his arms. ‘Sorry, baby…’
‘Stop it.’
‘I went too far.’ He was talking into her ear, slowing her heart that had been beating frantically all night. ‘Hire someone ugly—’ she felt tears fill her eyes at his attempt to help ‘—a man, I don’t care.’
‘Santo.’ She pushed him off a little, took a seat. ‘I wasn’t crying about that.’ A waiter poured her coffee and Santo sweetened it for her. She took a drink of it and wished he wasn’t being so nice, because it would be so easy to again break down. ‘I’ve got stuff going on. You were right.’
‘Of course I was right,’ Santo said. ‘About what?’
‘You know…’ God, but she hated the word. ‘Issues…’
And where most men would run Santo was over in a flash. He moved his chair right beside her and wrapped an arm around. ‘Tell me.’
‘No!’ She did not want his arm, did not want a man who was so comfortable in his own skin that he could sit in a restaurant and not care who saw, nor one who thought she could discuss such things.
‘I’ll tell you mine.’
‘No.’ She was not going to let him make her smile.
‘I’ve got hundreds of them,’ Santo said, and yes, he made her smile. Then he was terribly kind. ‘But right now, my main issue is you.’
‘We’ve got to head over to the set.’
‘I’ll say when we go.’
‘I can’t talk about it.’
‘You could.’
‘No.’ Ella shook her head. She didn’t have to explain her choices to him, except she found herself trying to. ‘You don’t talk about things you don’t want to, you don’t discuss your family.’
‘You know my family are…’ He didn’t finish and she looked over, watched his hand move to the collar of his shirt as he struggled to come up with a suitable answer, but Ella found it for him.
‘You’re a Corretti,’ Ella said. ‘So your troubles are far darker and far more serious than mine could ever be.’
‘Yes.’
‘I was being sarcastic, Santo.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘And so was I, but what I’m trying to tell you is that there is little that hasn’t happened in my family. My nonno, Salvatore, started with nothing and died one of Sicily’s most powerful men, so yes, there are things that I cannot talk about. His sons—my father, Carlo, and his brother, Benito…’ Santo stopped then. ‘You know what they say about loose lips…’
‘Speaking of ships…’ She went to tell him about an arrangement for the film but he stopped her.
‘Don’t change the subject.’
‘I am changing it, Santo, because in being so open about your family and issues, you’ve told me precisely nothing.’
‘I’m trying to let you know that you can tell me if you want to,’ he said. ‘And if you can’t, that is fine, but you are never to spend a night like that alone again when I am a short elevator ride away.’
‘Santo…’ Someone was calling out to him, telling him it was time to head off, but he called over his shoulder that he would catch up with them there.
‘Do you understand me?’
‘Sometimes it’s better to be on your own.’
‘You prefer what you went through last night to making love with me?’ He kissed her temple. ‘Then you are mad.’
‘Sex isn’t the answer to everything.’
‘It’s a good one though,’ he said. ‘It works very well for me. But if you want to continue with your sex strike, still we can talk.’ He stood, offered his hand. ‘Come on, we can walk to the set.’
‘It will take too long.’
‘They can wait for me,’ Santo said with all the arrogance of someone who knew that the world would. He handed her back her sunglasses as they stepped outside and he was the nicest company, pointed out villages as they walked down the hillside.
‘My mum’s from there,’ Ella said, wondering if it was being here that had upset her and perhaps brought it all to a head. ‘I’ve got aunts there.’
‘Are you going to visit?’
‘Maybe after we finish shooting.’
‘Don’t tell them you work for me then,’ he nudged. ‘They will warn you.’
‘I already know your reputation.’
‘Not me,’ Santo said, ‘my family.’ He pointed yonder. ‘My nonna lives over there. There is a lot of history, a lot of enemies have been made. Ours is not always a good name.’ He gave her another nudge. ‘Issues.’ But this time it didn’t make her smile and for the first time Santo knew he couldn’t just joke his way out of things, that her silence was perhaps a demand for something more, something he had never given. Except he looked at her swollen lips and thought of her eyes puffy behind the glasses. If he wanted more, then Santo realised he had first to give.
‘My father and his brother were killed in a warehouse fire.’ He wasn’t telling her any great secret. It had been the talk of Sicily then and still was at times. ‘That is when my grandfather divided everything up.’
‘When the warring started?’
‘Oh, it started long before that,’ Santo admitted. ‘My father and Benito were always rivals, Salvatore saw to that.’
‘You call him Salvatore?’
‘I call him both,’ Santo said. ‘You don’t really sit through business meetings saying Papà and Nonno.’
‘I guess.’
‘It’s got worse since he divided things up. Once a year we put on an act and are civil.’ He saw her frown, explained just a little bit more. ‘The family gets together at my nonna’s each year for her birthday—the only thing we all agree on is that we adore her, and we call a truce for one day, but after that, it’s gloves off again. These next few weeks…’
Santo shook his head. He simply never went there, not even with himself, and really, there wasn’t time to now. There was a movie to be made after all. Except Santo found himself standing on a hillside and looking out to the docklands and the sea beyond, think
ing how black it had all seemed on Sunday, the hell he had felt in a hotel room, except Ella had been there for him, had turned that day around. He wished last night she had let him do the same, wanted her to open up to him, so for her he broke his unspoken rule.
‘My grandfather played his sons off against the other. He taught them from the start that to get on you had to be ruthless.’ He looked at Ella. ‘So they were. When his health got worse he divided things up. Benito he put in charge of the hotel empire, and my father, Carlo, media. Now though, if we want the proposal to redevelop the docklands to go through, we need to pull together.’ He gave a wry grin. ‘I can’t see it happening. Angelo is—’
‘Angelo?’
‘My half-brother.’
‘You never said.’
‘I never do.’ He looked down the hill. ‘He has bought some of the houses here. This is supposed to be our development, but now Battaglia is throwing his weight behind Angelo.’
‘Because the marriage didn’t go ahead?’
‘Because of so many things.’
‘Does it matter?’ Ella ventured. ‘I mean, it’s just one project.’
‘It matters,’ Santo said, and in that he wasn’t going to go into detail, wasn’t about to tell her that the Corretti empire was crumbling around them. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t trust her—he could not bear to admit it to himself.
‘Right now, I need to concentrate on this movie, but first…’ He pulled her into his arms and took her glasses off again, and kissed her very nicely, strangely tenderly. It made her want to cry, because she understood perfectly now her predecessors’ tears and rantings. It wasn’t just the sex—Santo Corretti was the whole package. How cold and lonely would the world be after him.
And then, when his phone started begging for the producer to please arrive on set, there was no choice but to get moving.
They arrived at the docklands. It was rough and worn down, but Santo told her that with some money thrown at it, it would one day again be so beautiful. ‘The town is dying,’ Santo said, ‘but if the tourists found it, if the people came back…’ There were locals all gathered to watch the activity. ‘See…’ Santo said. ‘That café has not been open for years, but now, today, it is. That is the sort of thing this film could do, and maybe it would have the people associate the Corretti name with what it can do in the future, not ways of old….’ Then he stopped talking about family. ‘Will you do one thing for me?’ Santo asked before he got to work. ‘Will you check out Luigi before you accept the job?’
‘I’ve already accepted it.’
To his credit, Santo said nothing, not that he had much chance to. He was in a lot of demand and Ella took a seat and started working. Or trying to work, more often than not she found herself peering over her computer, frowning at a couple of Rafaele’s suggestions, because they weren’t interpretations Ella would have considered.
Still, Rafaele was the expert, Ella told herself, determined to put pride aside and to learn from him.
‘Are you okay?’ Ella blinked in surprise a little while later to the sight of Santo handing her a coffee.
‘Better,’ Ella said.
‘Because if you being here is a bit much, I don’t need you.’ He winced. ‘That came out so wrong—what I meant…’
‘I know what you meant.’ Ella smiled, touched that he seemed to realise that last night had been about so much more than their exchange of words. ‘How’s it going?’
Santo grimaced. ‘Vince just lost his temper. I don’t know. It’s early days, I guess.’
She sipped on her coffee, but after a moment or so she decided to take him up on his offer. ‘If you’re sure you don’t need me I might go and get some work done in the hotel.’
‘Sure,’ Santo said. ‘I’ll call if I need anything.’
It was safer to be alone right now—she simply daren’t get closer to him. He’d been open, far more open about his family than Ella had expected him to be and, as nice as it had been to talk, on reflection it disarmed her. Sex she could handle—it was the rest that terrified her so. Holding that thought once back in her room Ella contacted the agency that had first sent her to Santo. She spent most of the day going through résumés as well as confirming the docking times for the ship which was going to be a huge part of the film set. Ella did a few phone and online interviews, until she had narrowed it down to two. Then she checked her own emails, frowning a little at the response from Luigi, who was, he said, delighted to give her this opportunity and that he was looking forward to seeing her when she came to Rome, that they must have dinner as soon as she got there.
Of course Luigi would want to take her out to dinner and go over things before filming started. It was dinner, Ella told herself as she headed down to the restaurant to have dinner herself with Santo.
‘Better?’ Santo checked, standing briefly as she walked over.
‘Much.’
And then there was no more personal talk, because there was actually an awful lot of work to discuss, especially now that they had started shooting. They worked their way through most of it, even the rather more delicate stuff.
‘Her name is Marianna Tonito.’ Ella brought him up to speed on her potential replacements. ‘She’s worked for two movie producers and one film star, so she has loads of experience. I spoke to the agency and then I spoke to her. She seems very…’ Ella struggled for the right word—knowledgeable, competent, confident, all applied, and thanks to the magic of Skype, Ella knew that Marianna was also terribly, terribly sexy. ‘Suitable’ was the word Ella settled for, though she knew that she was handing inevitable heartbreak over as she passed Santo the résumé, but Marianna was in fact the perfect person for this role.
‘When can she start?’
‘Immediately.’
Santo frowned. ‘How can she be so good if she is so available?’
‘I checked all that.’ Ella had thought exactly the same. ‘She’s still working, much the same as me—actually training up her replacement now, at her boss’s wife’s request.’
Ella saw the slight raise of one eyebrow. ‘Are there any other candidates?’
Ella handed him the second résumé. Santo tried, he really did, to keep his expression bland—so much so that Ella had to suppress a smile. ‘He seems to have a lot of experience.’
‘He does,’ Santo said carefully. ‘And perhaps things would be a little less complicated.’ He glanced over to Ella, as if to check her thoughts, but she refused to give them. ‘How soon can he start?’
‘Paulo has already given his notice. He’s in Singapore now with his current boss, but should be back in Italy in the next couple of days, though he wants to take two weeks off before he starts a new job.’
‘Fly them both over for an interview.’ He could feel this huge sulk unfurling. He did not want her gone. It was all so unnecessary to Santo, and certainly he did not want her working for Luigi. ‘You haven’t given your notice in writing.’
She went into her huge handbag and took it out. ‘I meant to give it to you last night.’
He didn’t take it.
‘File it.’
‘Fine.’
‘In the shredder.’
‘I’ll email you a copy before I do,’ Ella said. ‘Anything else?’
‘I need to change the ship date.’
Ella blinked. Surely he wasn’t talking about the ship date. It had taken her forever to organise—ships sailing into the sunrise generally did!
‘I need you to make it for two days later.’
‘Santo…’ Ella drew a long breath. It was just the sort of request she’d come to expect from him, just the usual impossible ask that with one look he expected her to fix. ‘There are three hundred extras booked.’
‘You think that I don’t know that?’ Santo responded. ‘But the fact is we lost a day’s filming yesterday and things haven’t exactly gone well today.’ She sat quiet for a moment as he voiced it. No, things hadn’t gone well. All the hope and exciteme
nt that had greeted them this morning had slowly dispersed throughout the morning, and from the whispers Ella was hearing, after she had left things had gone from bad to worse. ‘I think I might have made a mistake.’
He didn’t actually say it, but Ella knew that he was talking about Taylor. She hadn’t exactly shone today, but Ella could see it wasn’t her acting that was the problem. Though it would sound like sour grapes if Ella suggested that it was the director who was the issue.
‘Things might improve tomorrow,’ Ella attempted. ‘It was never going to be perfect the first day of filming.’
‘I know. But for now just sort out the ship and the extras. We’re going to need more time.’
‘I’ll see what I can to…’ Her voice trailed off as his phone bleeped the text. She watched relief flood his face.
‘Alessandro?’
‘Thank God,’ Santo said, reading the text. Ella found herself wishing he’d tell her what his brother had said. She wanted more into his life and was having terrible trouble dealing with that. ‘So we’re done?’
Ella nodded.
‘Did you want another drink?’ he offered.
‘No, thanks.’
‘Did you want to talk?’
‘We’re up at five tomorrow.’
‘Fine.’ He was curt—it had been a hell of a day and not a particularly good last night and Santo would love to happily screw his way out of it, but he wasn’t going to beg.
He didn’t understand her.
But he’d tried to.
‘You’d really rather be alone than be with me.’
Yes, Ella thought, because it was safer to be alone tonight. In his bed she’d be telling him she loved him or something ridiculous, which wouldn’t cause a remote problem for Santo, Ella knew. He was more than used to hearing that.
It just caused a huge problem for Ella. She simply didn’t want to love anyone, didn’t want her heart out there in harm’s way, and she was already scrambling to take it back.
‘’Night, Santo,’ she said, because it was far safer too.
‘’Night, Ella.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
SHE WAS UNABLE to get hold of Paulo for a couple of days, but when Ella did he was delighted to hear from her.
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