by Ryan Michele
“I’m not some whore,” I said, stiffening my back. “You can’t just play with me.”
His grip tightened so much I could barely breathe, but I managed.
“Who said I’m playin’?”
“I saw the woman earlier. I’m not her.”
He chuckled, which I didn’t find funny in the least. “Rita? She tried to get on my dick all night but couldn’t, not when your face was the only one I saw when I closed my eyes.”
Oh, God. My struggles left me as my head spun. Trust was such a hard thing for me, always had been after my dad left us. I had always trusted that he’d keep my mom, sister, and me safe. He broke that, damaging a part of me.
I tried afterward to trust men, but each one of them turned out to be a frog in a sea of toads, one worse than the other. My choices in men weren’t the best. I fully admitted to that one. But it wasn’t like I was going to marry the guy, or even date him for that matter. Besides, I fully believed the men here would protect us, so the small building block of trust was there. I just couldn’t get too sucked into him. As my father said, “You’ll never be anything. No man will ever want you.” So I knew it would never last.
Still, what would be wrong with having some fun, easing some tension while I was here? It didn’t have to turn into anything. I’d never really done casual before, but Stiff was hot, like seriously hot, and the way his hands touched me … I just knew he would be able to help ease this fire inside of me.
“You think I’m gonna believe that?” I retorted, not relaying any of my thoughts.
Stiff turned me in his arms, my nose coming to his chin. As I looked up, I saw his eyes were blazing holes into me. His grip tightened, and the shallow rise and fall of his chest, along with his erection poking into me, told me he was burning. For me. How did that happen?
“Let me show ya.” His hot lips came to mine in a fierce kiss that sucked me under the instant our flesh touched. He consumed my mouth, his tongue taking ownership. I swore he touched every inch inside of it, demanding more from me, and I gave in willingly.
He snaked his hand up my back to my neck then threaded his fingers through my hair. He massaged as he went, his rough hand strong and determined.
One thing I’d always loved was my head rubbed. As a kid, I would bargain with Jenn for her to rub it. It’d been a long time since I’d had this. I let every thought sweep away then focused on breathing and standing upright.
Stiff pulled away, his forehead pressing against mine. I gasped for breath as he began inhaling deep. With my eyes closed, I could feel his breath on my lips, cool against the wetness he’d left, sending more shivers through me.
“Sooner I get shit cleaned up at my place, the sooner you’re in my bed.” Stiff’s rough voice penetrated the air.
I should have been appalled—hell, my stubborn ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ side wanted to be, but I melted, wanting to be in his bed. I wanted to forget the shit in my life, even if for a small moment. Maybe that would help me focus on a plan of action.
I reached up and gripped his leather and shirt. With utter boldness I didn’t know where I’d obtained, I stood on my tiptoes, kissed the tip of his nose, then whispered in his ear, “Then you better get cleaned up.”
He growled. Yes, growled like the panther I thought he was. His lips crashed into mine in another scorching kiss so hot I gripped his clothing in fear I would fall. Then he tore away and pushed me away from him.
“Got shit to do,” he said, moving toward the door. “That was hot, Chels. Don’t fuckin’ lose it. I’m comin’ back for ya.”
He stalked out the door as my heart thumped hard in my chest.
Moving to the bed, I sat down, my hand over my heart, feeling the pumps.
“That was hot,” my sister confessed, jolting me from my spot to look down at her on the bed. Her cut lip tipped slightly.
“I didn’t know you were awake.”
A sound came from her throat, and I was hoping it was a chuckle, but it sounded like a pained one. “Saw you two and didn’t wanna interrupt.”
“Jenn!” I pretended to scold.
She knew everything about me: the good, the bad, and the ugly. While that was fine with me, I was happy the kissing stopped before we’d gone any further. One thing I didn’t ever want to do was to get intimate with a man in front of my sister. No thanks.
“Oh, shut it,” she stated, closing her eyes. “You deserve to be happy, sis.”
I reached for her hand and held it loosely. “I wouldn’t call this happy. I would call it getting lost in the moment.”
Her eye lids lifted. “Whatever way you spin it, that right there, sister, was happy. Hell, bliss.”
“Jenn, he’s part of a motorcycle club, and I saw a woman all over him and kissing him on the cheek this morning,” I started.
“Shut it,” Jenn said again. “I heard everything he said, so don’t feed me a line of bull. Gotta take life as it comes. Never know when something fucked up will happen to you and you’ll end up like me.”
I knew she was trying to joke, but I did not find it funny at all.
“What happened to you will not happen ever again, Jennifer. I swear to that.”
Hell, if I had to drop my life just to go up and play bodyguard so she could finish school, I wouldn’t think twice about it. She would finish, and she would get her degree. She wanted it too much, and I refused to let my father fuck that up for her. By any means necessary, she would get that piece of paper.
“I love you, but you need to start living in the moment.”
I stared down at her in shock. “I’ve been living.”
She gave a slight shake of her head. “No. You’ve been surviving. I’m not saying this guy is the one, but you need to live and experience things. All you do is work, sleep, take care of us, work, sleep, take care of us … Repeat, like, a million, gazillion times. I’m not saying give the man your heart and declare your undying love for him or anything like that.” I chuckled as she rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying we’re here for a while, a few days, a couple of weeks. Might as well have fun.”
“I thought you were doped on pain meds. How are you pulling all of this out of your ass?”
“I am on meds, and they’re nice. I can almost think about moving, but when I do, the pain returns. So if I just lie here, I feel great.”
I gave her hand a small squeeze. “Sleep. I’ll get us sorted on where we’re staying then somehow get to my place to get us a few things. Is there anything you can’t live without?”
“Diet Coke,” she responded with a slight smile. “Haven’t had one since I was grabbed. Maybe that’s why my head aches so badly.”
“I’ll make sure to stock you up. Sleep.”
If she were resting, then I could figure everything else out.
I FUCKING HATED cleaning. Never had a reason to when I lived by myself, but as soon as I decided Chelsea and her sister would stay here, I went on a mission and enlisted Xander to help. He was a prospect after all, so that helped with telling him what to do. It also helped that while in the Corps, he’d learned to take orders well.
In three hours, the place looked livable.
“Smells better in here,” Xander said, spraying some blue shit around the place.
“Easy with that.”
“Fuck, man. You gotta get the funk out and rid of the damn sock smell. You always had nasty feet,” Xander chided.
“Fuck you. I did not. That was your scrawny ass,” I fired back.
“Scrawny? I’ll fucking show you scrawny.” Bottle dropped and forgotten, he came at me, but it wasn’t hard, just a shoulder to the gut. This was fucking around, not actual fighting. We’d had our go-arounds. Sure, I busted my ass for him, but he had a thick skull like me, and we collided at times. Those usually ended up with us being black and blue.
We wrestled, me catching a couple of soft hits to the side, and I threw a couple at Xander. We each pulled away, laughing. I’d missed this when he’d been gone, missed
him.
Xander fell onto the couch and tossed his boots up on the coffee table that was not clear of all the garbage.
“So, got a thing for this one?” he asked, twisting the cap off a beer and tossing it on the table.
I glared. “You’d better pick that shit up.”
He grinned. “Nice deflect.”
“Zip it.” I plopped into the recliner.
The room wasn’t grand or anything like that. All of the brothers lived here on the compound in block buildings. They were nice, at least nicer than some of the rooms in the clubhouse, but it wasn’t the Ritz. I had a huge seventy-two-inch TV hanging on the wall with a cabinet below for a Blu-ray player and my movies. I had a new couch that was charcoal gray. Everything in here was new. My room inside the clubhouse, not so much. But in my home, everything was, from the fridge to the toilet seat. All installed by me.
I didn’t have shit growing up, living from place to place. This was the first home I really knew. It meant the world to me, gave me a sense of stability in a world filled with chaos.
I joined Vipers Creed officially when I turned eighteen, but I’d been around the club with Spook for as long as I could remember. We’d become friends in high school, even with him being a year older. Then, that year felt like forever; now, it was an afterthought. I’d had Xander to support, a mother who didn’t give a shit, and this club gave me purpose, stability, a family. It also had given Xander a home when I moved into the compound. It had been more than I could have asked for. Still was.
“Stiff’s got a hard-on for the waitress,” Xander taunted.
I shot him a glare that he laughed at. Most men wouldn’t dare. My brother, on the other hand, knew I might punch the hell out of him, but I’d never really kill him. At least, I didn’t think so. If he kept this shit up, there were no guarantees.
“Shut. It.”
“What’s the big fuckin’ deal? You’ve got women comin’ and goin’ all the time.”
Exactly. Easy fucking pussy that meant absolutely nothing except to get my dick wet and to get off. Chelsea, she was different. Yeah, I wanted my dick wet and to get off, but there was this keen sense of knowledge that came from her. She knew the hard knocks of life. She’d lived them, told them to fuck off, and grown a pair of her own balls so big she didn’t let shit get in her way. Then she knocked down any bitch who did.
That, I fucking admired. That made me harder than granite. Add in the tits, ass, and face with her fiery personality, and I was a fucking goner.
“Fucking hell. Is Old Stiffie ready to turn in his house mouse card?”
Damn, was I ready to turn in the mouses? A house mouse was a woman around the club who serviced the brothers in any way they needed: sex, blowjob, hand job, cooking food, cleaning the clubhouse—pretty much whatever. In return, they got protection from the club.
I’d had my share of mouses, women, whores, and strippers in my time, but not one set me up like Chelsea had with only a damn kiss. I fucking craved to have her in my home, under me. Her sister would be in the guest room, and Chelsea would be in mine.
When I kept my lips sealed, Xander laughed harder.
Normally, I’d have some witty fucking comeback, but he had me stumped for a moment.
“Alright, brother, I’ll let you off. Let’s talk about tomorrow night.”
I leaned farther back in the chair then rolled my head from side to side. “What about it?”
“Dawg and I are gonna case the joint again tomorrow. Today, there wasn’t any movement. Then what?” Xander replied.
Prospecting, Xander was only privy to some shit going down, not everything.
“You’re not going in tomorrow. You’re here with Chelsea and her sister.”
Xander rose, yelling, “What the fuck!”
I’d spoken with Spook earlier and asked him about leaving Xander back. The man just got out of the military, and I knew his fellow teammates had issues that he’d joined the MC. Not that I gave a shit, but my brother had honor that I wasn’t ready to tarnish just yet. Keeping him clean had been ingrained in me for so long it was natural.
Protect Xander. Period.
“Look, I need someone to stay here. Count yourself lucky you’re not on Bee and Jannie duty.” I had no doubt those two women would be a handful.
Xander groaned. “Is it because I’m a prospect or your brother?”
I turned toward him, my eyes telling him the answer.
“Dammit, Stiff.” He raked his hands through his hair.
“Why don’t you head home to Gabby? I got this.”
His boots sounded on the carpet until he was next to my chair, and I looked up at him.
“Gotta stop treatin’ me like I’m a kid, Stiff. I’m good with this shit.”
“I know that, but I need you here, and that’s what it’ll be.”
“Fine.” He held out his hand, and I clasped it, squeezed, and released. “Later.”
“Later.”
I lifted the footrest and kicked my feet up. Chelsea was due here in about thirty minutes. I had time to kill.
“YOU’LL WALK DOWN to the fourth house. That’ll be Stiff’s,” Trixie instructed, coming into Jenn’s room.
“I can’t believe—”
“Believe it,” she said. “These guys, they’re something else. Best advice I can give ya is to roll with it.”
“Roll with what, exactly?” I questioned as she held out a bag, and I looked inside. Score. Women’s shampoo, conditioner, and deodorant. At least when I shower, I wouldn’t smell like a man. That was all I could find in the small, attached bathroom.
“With Stiff …” She paused for a moment then continued, “There’s a lot more to him than what you see.”
“Oh, I saw, alright,” I mumbled, setting the bag on the dresser.
“Saw what?” she asked.
“He said it was nothing, and it doesn’t matter, anyway,” I retorted.
“Be patient. Have fun. And I have to say, I’ve never seen Stiff like this. Earlier, he didn’t even have a line for me, and he only does it to get under Spook’s skin. Okay, I’ve gotta run. You have your stuff and know where to go.”
“Thanks,” I told her, meaning it yet confused at the same time.
“Anytime. I live here with Spook, so we’ll see a lot of each other.” She smiled so warm I felt comfortable with her. It wasn’t fake like Mitzi. No, this one was completely honest.
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Once she left, I washed myself and gave my sister a sponge bath, or tried to at least.
Needles came by and looked my sister over. He changed her dressings, which I’d already done. Yes, I cut my eyes up at him a couple of times, but he was doing his job, and I tried to give a little. It was so damn hard to let others help. I needed to start letting that part of me open up more, even if difficult.
I also called Charlie and told him I was taking a few days off for the first time in my life. That hurt, but it also felt liberating. Hurt that I’d never done it before. Liberating because my feet could always use time to recoup.
Charlie was pissed, though not at me, of course, and chewed my ear off for a bit, wanting every small detail. When I told him Jenn and I were staying with the Vipers, he calmed a bit. I didn’t know if I should feel good about that or run.
Now I stood in front of the structure Trixie had told me to go to, and well, I really had no other word for it. It was a huge, concrete, brick building that matched several down the line. The outside of this one was clean, but nothing stood out for it to be unique. I knew the Vipers Creed owned this old Army compound for years. However, I’d never been in it, never had a need to.
The clubhouse was a huge gray building, I believed around three levels. There were also thick walls around the entire perimeter with guards in tall, parapet things by the gate. A lot of drab, military gray was everywhere except for a couple of houses that had some flowers in pots, but not Stiff’s.
I felt cold yet warm if that
were possible. Cold due to the starkness of color, but warm from feeling safe. I didn’t have to worry about the ugliness just outside the large gates that barricaded this world away from the rest.
The front had a slab of concrete for a porch with a steel door. Very inviting—not.
I knocked politely, then thought better of it, balled my hand into a fist, and banged on the door. No one on the other end would hear a small knock through the thick steel door.
The hard metal opened in a whoosh, blowing my hair back with the gust of air-conditioned air.
I pulled the tendrils away from my face and stared into the ocean colored eyes of Stiff. The man looked as if I could be his next three meals and he wouldn’t be happier.
“Come in.” He stepped back from the door, but not out of the way.
I sucked in a deep breath and had to brush by his body to get through the door. The man took up at least half of it, so getting through the space was a challenge, but I made it.
The space had the normal living room furniture—couch, chair, an over the top TV—but it was clean, like someone had been in there just moments ago, cleaning the hell out of the place. It even smelled like fabric softener of some sort. The bitch in me wanted to ask if the brunette had come in and cleaned, but I wasn’t going there. He’d said some nice things to me, and I needed to put that woman out of my head.
The door snapped shut, and then I felt it—the force of the room hitting me from every angle, bouncing around like live wires. The crackle was so palpable it could almost be heard.
I dropped my bag and wrapped my arms around my body, feeling the need to shield myself. I wasn’t afraid. No, this was more powerful, something on a cosmic level that I’d never known existed.
Strong hands came to my shoulders, and I let out a small gasp. He kneaded them, easing the tension until there was none. Then he cascaded his roughened fingertips along my neck, making small up and down strokes. The room became incredibly warm, and my heart beat like a jackhammer.
Each caress awakened tiny bits of my skin that added tingles, building in intensity like snowflakes landing on the ground, forming into a huge ball.
