by Aj Estelliam
I smiled back at her.
‘Now, how about some breakfast?’ Dan asked. ‘I’ve made a full English!’
‘Wow,’ I grinned. Life was looking up.
After breakfast, Captain Withers and Jess headed off to the station to finish some loose ends from the case. A lot of paperwork had to be carried out which I didn’t have any part in and wasn’t required to complete. When my role ended, theirs always continued and I recognised how hard they worked. With Fee gone to work too, I was left alone in the house. Jess had left with strict instructions that I not leave the house under any circumstances. I promised that I wouldn’t, unless my Dad phoned for a lift from the airport. She had okayed that, but I could see there was still doubt left in her mind.
I found myself unsettled at home during the morning. My Dad had messaged me to say that they were on their way but still I couldn’t settle. I felt on edge and found myself pacing when I should have been relaxing and calming my frayed nerves.
By afternoon, I had busied myself around the house and done everything I could possibly do to tidy up. After having some lunch, my Dad phoned to say they were about to board their flight and so we agreed that I would be there at four to collect them. Knowing I still had four hours to kill, I lay down on the sofa and willed myself to relax. I was feeling manic inside and I needed to look inside myself to figure out why that was.
I breathed slowly and closed my eyes, letting my body relax. I became calmer and felt myself becoming deeper into unconscious. As I lay there breathing slowly, I began to drift.
I skipped through the forest, laughing and jumping. I strained to catch the little, white feather which floated in front of me. I finally grasped it with my hand and held it tight. After removing my cap, I added it to my others. Smiling down at my hat, I felt good. I loved feathers. They were so cool.
A sound alerted me that I wasn’t alone. Stupid brother, I thought to myself. Why had he had to go off like that? I had had to follow. I couldn’t just let him go off in the forest alone.
A loud thumping sound shocked me and I went stock still in place. My heart began to thud rapidly in my chest and I crept through the undergrowth like a thief in the night now. Something told me I needed to be quiet. Something told me I had to stay back.
I crept through the trees towards the sound and then paused behind a large oak when I saw the fire. The scene before me was shocking. I stared at the boy with the axe and froze in position. I saw my brother lying on the ground, twitching in strange motion before going still. The boy stared down at him before lifting the axe once more to strike. I turned and ran. I ran for my life, tripping and falling as I desperately tried to get away.
I came to with a start. I frowned to myself, thinking. This was why I couldn’t relax. This was why I didn’t feel like it was all over. It wasn’t; not quite. There had been a witness to Simon Wilson’s murder, and it had affected the boy involved for the rest of his life. It had affected the man he had become. I got to my feet and headed for the phone. When I reached it, the line was dead. I frowned down at the receiver and couldn’t work out why it wasn’t working. I ran my fingers along the wire and traced it to the source. It was plugged in…why wasn’t it working?
I headed for the front door before stopping. Hadn’t Jess said to stay inside at all costs? I was safe here though, wasn’t I? I was only going to check the wire from the outside.
I deliberated for a few long moments and then decided not to open the door. After the luck I had had recently, I figured it wasn’t worth the risk. I went over to find my mobile in my bag and found it quickly.
I rang Jess at work.
‘Hey Alex. Everything okay?’ she asked.
‘Yes, it’s fine. Hey, is the phone not working?’
‘Which phone?’
‘The landline? I’m not getting any kind of dial tone. It’s just dead.’
‘Oh. I don’t know,’ she said sounding confused. ‘I’ll check it out when I get home later.’
‘Okay,’ I nodded. ‘Well, I’m just relaxing here and then at four, Mum and Dad are due in so I’ll go and collect them from the airport.’
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Well, if you’re not home, I’ll know where you are.’
‘Yes. Jess? One more thing?’
‘Yes?’
‘I had a vision,’ I told her.
‘Oh God…what? Not more complications?’ she asked.
‘Well, yes…just the one.’
‘What is it?’ she asked.
‘The night Simon Wilson was killed,’ I began.
‘Yes?’
Black. My world went black and I fell to the floor, slumped. I could hear Jess’s voice and the sound of the ‘end’ button being pressed on my mobile. Then I was lifted and carried into the cold, snowy air. As I began to drift into unconsciousness, I realised I knew what was happening.
Chapter 23
When I woke up, everything seemed eerily familiar. I was tied to a chair and my head ached from where I had been struck.
I lifted my head slowly, anticipating a grisly scene. The one I was greeted with was familiar, yet different.
I was in a bedroom, and again it was decorated as if it were the 1970’s and yet this time I wasn’t in a barn. This was a house. In the bed before me lay another dead mother; but this time it was one I knew.
Ava Wilson lay before me on the bed, reclined and at peace. Her eyes stared out into the quiet bedroom, glassy and wide. I looked around frantically, but when my eyes found him, I wasn’t afraid. He sat in the corner, a quivering mass. To me, he looked like a broken man and from the emotions coming off him, I knew he was weak.
‘Hello?’ I said quietly.
He jerked upwards and looked at me with wide, alert eyes. He stared at me wildly, and didn’t seem to know what to do.
‘My name is Alex. Alex Hope.’
‘I know what your name is,’ he said, tremulously.
‘How do you know my name? I don’t know yours…’
‘No-one knows me,’ he informed me. ‘I’m just the one who fades into the background.’
‘You’re Ava’s other son?’
‘Yes,’ he murmured. ‘The one who never mattered.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ I told him. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Ben,’ he said softly.
‘Ben,’ I repeated. ‘You saw Simon killed?’
He gasped and his eyes shot to mine. ‘No-one knows that!’
‘I saw it,’ I told him.
He gaped at me.
‘Sometimes I see things in my mind…and I can see things that have happened in the past. I saw you…you were following the feather.’
‘I love feathers,’ he almost whispered.
‘You do?’
‘Yes! Especially the white ones. They’re special.’
‘Why are they so special?’ I asked him.
‘Because they hold magic. And you can make a wish with those ones.’
‘Who told you that, Ben?’
‘Daddy…before he was dead,’ he said, sounding very much like a child.
‘I see. Well, it was thanks to your feather that this case was solved.’
‘How?’ he asked.
‘I saw feathers and I followed them. That’s how I found your brother and Jimmy. That’s how I found the body parts and the victims of Fraser Williamburg.’
He frowned at the mention of his name and I sensed much anger towards him.
‘Do you know Fraser, Ben?’
‘I didn’t…’ he murmured, ‘until that day…’
‘What day?’
‘I had to pick Mum up…from the station…the day that Simon had been found,’ he told me.
‘Ah!’ I said, remembering.
‘I saw him in the car park and I’ve never forgotten that face.’
‘I can imagine,’ I murmured.
‘I followed him. I followed him and began to watch him.’
‘Why?’ I asked.
‘Revenge.�
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‘Revenge for your brother?’ I questioned.
‘Yes. And for the life I led because of what he did to our family. It changed once Simon was gone. It changed forever.’
I sighed. ‘It must have been awful.’
‘I was the forgotten child. The only one that mattered was Simon. Not finding him was always worse than not finding him at all. If they’d have found him, maybe they would have been able to grieve and put it behind them a little bit. As it was, they both died with him being the sole focus of their life.’
‘Did, uh…did you do this to your mother?’ I asked, hesitantly.
‘No!’ he exclaimed with vehemence. ‘Of course not! She died when she came home after finding out about Simon. She told me before she went…she told me she was ready to die now.’
‘What did you think of that?’
‘I thought it was selfish, but yet again she wasn’t thinking about me at all. She was thinking about herself and her own feelings towards it all.’
‘You feel like you’ve always come last?’ I said, because I could hear him. I knew how he thought and what he felt.
‘I always did. The moment Simon went missing changed everything.’
‘But you never spoke up. You knew what had happened and you never said a word. For years and years and years,’ I said, dragging out the words for effect.
‘No, I didn’t! But I would have!’ he exclaimed, ‘if they’d only bothered to ask!’
I frowned as I heard the turmoil he had suffered over the years. ‘They never asked you about it?’
‘They never asked me anything. Not once. I was forgotten the second it happened. I promised myself I would tell them what happened if they bothered to notice me once more. They didn’t. So, I said nothing…’
‘And the fact you couldn’t lead them back to him?’ I said softly. ‘Did that not have anything to do with it?’
He frowned at me deeply, looking upset by this. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘You wet yourself and ran away, ashamed. Before you knew it, you were lost in the wood and couldn’t find your way. You walked for almost an hour before you found your way back to the scout hut. You wouldn’t have been able to find where the murder took place, even if you’d have wanted to.’
‘That wasn’t the point,’ he said angrily.
‘No, I get it-you were looking for attention. If they’d have asked, you’d have told them…’
‘Exactly,’ he nodded.
‘So, what did your life become?’ I asked, not because I didn’t know already, more so I could show him that somebody cared enough to ask about him.
‘I became…a nobody. I floated into the background and became nothing. I’ve struggled in my adult life to fit in. I have had bouts of depression and I’ve wanted to end it all. I don’t know why I haven’t.’
‘Because it’s not the answer,’ I replied quietly.
He sighed. ‘Maybe not.’
‘So, Ben? Why am I here today? Why is your mother still lying in the bed where she died? Is this something to do with Fraser Williamburg?’ I questioned.
‘It is everything to do with him,’ he told me fiercely.
‘Can you tell me? Because I don’t understand it all…’
‘I was going to kill him,’ Ben began. ‘I saw him that day in the car park when I was going to pick up my mother. I saw him and then followed him to find out who he was. Once I knew, I spent my whole spare time trailing him.’
‘That must have been interesting.’
‘Oh, it was. Especially when I realised he was up to his old tricks-killing again.’
‘What did you plan to do?’ I asked.
‘I planned to gather evidence against him and then confront him. I wanted him to pay for what he did to Simon and my family and I wanted to be there to witness him die in front of me…’
‘But that didn’t happen?’ I wondered, seeing the scene in my head. It was very different to the one he had planned.
‘Yes, that’s right, it didn’t. I met him and confronted him and within an hour of meeting him I understood everything completely.’
‘You understood it?’ I asked, baffled.
‘Yes. I understood his ways, his reasons for killing and I knew I was destined to become a part of it.’
‘But…but…that’s just madness.’
‘No, not madness. It’s just how it is.’
‘What did he say to convince you? What changed the way you felt about him?’
‘I realised that what he was saying made sense. I was just like him…well, I was like him before he began killing.’
‘How so?’ I wondered.
‘A shadow…a nothing. Someone no-one notices. A shadow,’ he repeated.
‘You’re not a shadow, Ben. You’re an important human being, just like every single other person.’
‘No. That’s where you’re wrong. I’ll always be nothing…apart from if I do this.’
‘What do you mean by that?’ I asked, nervously.
‘It was Fraser. He said he’d teach me. He showed me what to do. I’m going to be as infamous as him. I’ll follow his example and be somebody. I’m past caring if I go to prison. At least I’ll be renowned!’
‘Can you hear yourself, Ben? Renowned for killing is better than going unnoticed in society?’
‘I have nothing!’ he ranted. ‘I have absolutely nothing to live for in this sad, sad world. The only thing I can be is him.’
‘You’re better than that, Ben. You don’t need to do this.’
He shook his head and I could see that his emotions were held together only by a very, thin thread.
‘Think about it! As it stands you’re not in that much trouble. Do what he suggests and you’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars. You think that makes you infamous? No…in fact you’ll become more of a shadow there.’
He shook his head, trying to deny the fact.
‘I don’t think you can do it either, Ben,’ I said, going with the feeling I was getting from him. Although he thought he wanted to act on the suggestions Fraser had made, actually carrying out that kind of brutality and sick acts were something he found very difficult to deal with. ‘I think for you, it’s hard enough to look at her. What? You’re going to chop her up now?’
‘No…you,’ he said quietly, eyeing me from across the room.
I gave him a look. ‘You think you’re capable of doing that?’
‘I’ll do it if I have to,’ he said with a tremble, lifting the knife he held in his hand.
‘No, Ben…because you don’t have to. Fraser Williamburg is a sick and vile murderer. You, Ben, are a grieving brother. A grieving son. With the right kind of counselling, you can heal from this. You’re probably suffering from some king of depression or post-traumatic stress. You can be helped. You can feel happier than this.’
He looked up at me and I felt a blossoming of hope coming from inside him. It gave me courage to keep trying.
‘Seriously, Ben. I can feel the depression coming off you in spades. You know I’m psychic. I know you know that. You don’t need to feel this endless despair…’
‘But how will I get help from behind bars?’
‘Because I’d make sure you got it. Also, you have rights as a prisoner to receive the medications you require.’
‘I…I don’t know.’
‘Ben…’
‘I’m supposed to kill you.’
‘Says who? The murderer who has just been put away for the rest of his life?’ I questioned.
‘I…I feel so confused.’
‘Ben, do something for you for once. Get the help you need. Don’t do what some psycho says-get yourself some help and start over. After a short spell in prison, you could be out rebuilding your life.’
Ben stared at me for a long time. ‘I need to think.’
‘Of course you do,’ I said, looking at the clock on the wall.
‘This needs to be my decision.’
‘I know,’ I
nodded, and watched as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a perfectly pristine white feather. It was absolutely beautiful and I was transfixed by it. I stared for long moments as he toyed with it in his hands. A scene rushed before my eyes and I understood what was coming for him. I couldn’t hold back. I had to tell him.
‘Ben-do you have an extensive feather collection?’
He looked up, surprised. ‘I do. How did you…oh yeah…psychic…’
I nodded. ‘Ben, sometimes I see things. It can be things that happen in the past, sometimes in the future and sometimes present. I just had a glimpse into your future.’
‘Four walls and prison bars, right?’ he said glumly.
‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘I saw a bird of prey and raptor centre and you were working there…I watched you at an interview, showing pictures of your feather collection. I can see them in my mind. You create a display in the education centre and give talks about the birds they come from. You work there and follow your passion-feathers-and you’re well! You’re smiling when I picture you. I can see it now, Ben! You do have a future, and it’s a happy one.’
He stared at me, open-mouthed. ‘You really see that?’
‘I do!’
‘Have you ever been wrong?’ he asked.
I shook my head. ‘Never,’ I smiled.
‘Can you get me some help?’ he asked, tentatively.
My eyes widened in surprise. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really. I want to turn myself in and get on with the rest of my life. If that’s really my future, I want to get on the path towards living it.’
‘Untie me then, Ben. I’ll phone for help and we’ll start on this road forward together.’
He stood and crossed over to me. He began untying my hands and soon I was free. I smiled up at him and knew this nightmare was over. He was not a killer, far from it. The man needed help, and I intended to make sure he got it.
Chapter 24
‘Jess, it’s me.’
‘Alex? Oh, thank God! We all thought you’d been kidnapped!’ she exclaimed.
‘Well, I sort of was,’ I told her softly. ‘But it turns out that all Ben Wilson needs is help. Jess, come out and get me. You’ll need a team for Ava-she died. You’ll also need specialist help for Ben. He is guilty of some crimes but the main thing he needs is treatment for depression or possibly post-traumatic stress disorder. He also will need counselling.’
