by Annie Rains
“Where are you going?” Julie asked, meeting her in the hallway.
“Why are you still up?” Kat countered.
“Touché. I’ve been watching black-and-white movies again. Secret addiction.”
Kat shook her head. “I’ve got to tell you, it’s never been a secret, Julie.”
“Your turn. You’ve finally come to your senses?” Julie asked, smiling. “It’s about time, sis.” She glanced at the clock. “Or past time, actually. Won’t he be sleeping?”
Kat’s heart was thundering in her chest. Not answering the question, she called behind her, “Don’t wait up!”
“Go get that sexy hunk,” Julie cheered, seeing her out the door. “And it’s raining. Lover reunions are always best in the pouring rain,” she called.
Kat made a mental note to ban Julie from those sappy romances just as soon as she returned.
Or join her, depending on how tonight went.
Chapter 26
Micah’s eyes snapped open. The room was dark, illuminated only by the moonlight streaming in through his bedroom window. Only, it was raining and the sky was overcast, so…the light wasn’t coming from the moon.
He sat up quickly and moved to the window, hearing the noise again—a soft ping against the glass. Squinting through the glare, he saw the flashlight first and slowly made out the image of a woman outside, standing in the rain and tossing small rocks at his window.
“What the hell?” He pulled on a T-shirt and grabbed his umbrella, then headed toward the front door. Opening it, he stepped out into the night, not worried that the noise would wake Ben. His son was a sound sleeper. “Kat?” he called, walking around to the side of his house where his window was. He spotted her as she tossed another stone. “Kat, what are you doing out here?”
Whirling around, she gave a little shriek. “Getting your attention,” she said, dropping the pebble in her hand.
He stood there, sheltered under his umbrella, thoroughly confused. Was he dreaming? Because no way was Kat Chandler standing outside his bedroom window in the pouring rain. “What do you want?” he asked.
She was wearing a light blue raincoat, the hood doing a piss-poor job of sheltering her face. She pointed her small flashlight at him, making him squint. “Oh. Sorry.” She pointed it down at her feet instead. “I want to talk to you.”
“I’m listening,” he said, roughly, staring at her. If this was a dream, he had a mind to either drag her to his bedroom and make love to her all night, or give her a piece of his mind, which he’d been biting at the bit to do since she’d scared off so easily the other day.
“Right.” She nodded, her face drenched from the rain. “Can we maybe…”
She nibbled her lower lip and his groin jumped to attention. The first fantasy sounded good.
“…go inside?” she asked, shining the light at him again. “Sorry. It’s dark and the rain is in my eyes.”
He moved closer, placing his umbrella over her, also, which was more than his mind told him she deserved. His heart wasn’t listening, though. “Come on,” he said.
They didn’t go inside. Instead, he turned to face her on his front porch. “I’m listening,” he said, tossing down his umbrella and bracing his hands on his hips.
She nodded. “Okay.” Nervous laughter bubbled up through her. “I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but now that I’m here…”
More nervous laughter escaped her mouth, and then she looked at him with those eyes that had captivated him since the first day he met her. There was more on the line than sexual attraction now, though. A lot more.
“I came here to tell you that I can’t lose another man in my life.” Her hair hung in solid, wet strands down by her face as she pulled her hood off. “It was too hard losing John. Harder than anything else I’ve ever gone through.”
He nodded, keeping his distance as he watched her. Part of him wanted to wrap his arms around her as she spilled her feelings out in the open. She’d lost someone close to her, and he could relate to that. Jessica hadn’t died, but he’d lost her. And he’d lost his mother. “I get it,” he said, cutting her off. “It’s fine, Kat,” he said sharply.
She blinked. “I couldn’t bear to lose another man that I’m in love with.”
His whole body stilled. Was she breaking up with him and telling him that she loved him at the same time? Because that was a double blow. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, okay? We can just part ways and pretend like the last few months never happened. In fact, I’ve already wiped them from my memory.”
A frown settled on her lips. “I don’t want to forget they ever happened. Micah, I’m telling you that I don’t want to walk away from us. I don’t…want…to lose you.”
There was pain in her expression and hope in her eyes. The conflicting emotions speared through his heart. But he had to remember the other spear she’d staked through him recently. Ben was just getting back to normal. And in a few weeks Micah would be gone. He needed to know that Ben would be okay when he left. Which meant there was no room for error.
“We’re done, Kat. It was good while it lasted, but it’s over now.” He watched her shivering body standing before him, and did his best not to pull her in and comfort her. He couldn’t. Not this time. “Go home and get warm,” he said, as the rain fell even harder, making his words hard to hear even to his own ears. Judging by the expression on her face, she heard them loud and clear. He reached down for the umbrella and offered it to her. “Take this.”
She stared at it for a long moment, and then, ignoring his offer, she headed back out into the rain, leaving him as he’d asked her to.
—
“Come on, buddy. Get up.” Micah stood in Ben’s doorway, waiting. “It’s Monday morning. You have school.”
Ben’s head peeked through the covers, cracking an eye at Micah, and then he reluctantly moved to sit up. “Eggs?” he asked.
“Only if you’re in the kitchen in five minutes.” Micah turned and started walking. He needed another cup of coffee this morning. After Kat’s visit last night, he’d never gone back to sleep.
Ben was dressed and at the table five minutes later, fresh-faced and smiling as usual.
“Sleep well?” Micah asked, wishing he had that kind of energy.
Ben nodded, reaching for the fork on the table.
“Make sure you take—”
“Slow bites. I know, Dad,” Ben said through chews. “You don’t have to worry about me while you’re gone. Slow bites. No getting out of my chair by myself. I’ll make you proud.”
Micah leaned in and kissed his forehead. “You already make me proud, son.”
An hour later, they pulled into the school and Micah’s gaze hung on Kat standing in the doorway, greeting the students. Sucking in a breath, he went through the usual routine: getting Ben’s chair on the ground, helping Ben out, handing him his book bag and lunch. No hugs and kisses here, just a quick salute. “Aunt Clara will pick you up after school, okay?”
Ben nodded. “Yeah, Dad.” He started rolling forward, stopping when he heard Micah’s phone ring.
Glancing down, Micah cursed under his breath. Jessica had some timing.
“Is it Mom?” Ben asked, a hopeful tone rising in his voice. He turned and started wheeling himself back. “You only get that face with Mom. I want to talk to her!” Ben’s face was as bright as it got on Christmas morning.
Jessica probably wasn’t calling to talk to him, though. No doubt there was some selfish motive behind her phone call. “Hold on, buddy. Let me talk to her first.” His jaw tightened as he answered, keeping an eye on his son. “Hey, Jess,” he said, working hard to keep the agitation out of his voice.
“Micah,” she said, sounding…different somehow. “I’m glad I caught you. I wasn’t sure if you’d be at physical training yet or not.”
“I take Ben to school in the mornings,” he said flatly. Which she’d know if she was any kind of mother at all.
There was a lo
ng hesitation on the other line. “Is he with you?” she finally asked. “Can I speak to him?”
Micah’s gaze moved to Ben, who was hanging on every word. “School’s about to start,” he said, wishing to God he didn’t have to hand the phone over. But he did, he knew he did. “Make it quick.”
Ben snatched the phone with his right hand as Micah offered it. “Mom! I miss you. Are you coming home?” Words rattled out of his mouth excitedly. Then he stopped for a moment and listened, making Micah squirm.
He wanted to know what Jessica was telling him—no doubt more lies that he’d have to deal with later.
“Yeah. Okay. I will,” Ben finally agreed. “I can’t wait! ’Bye, Mom. I love you!” He clicked off the phone and handed it back to Micah.
“You will what?” Micah asked suspiciously.
“I’ll do my best at school and listen to you and Aunt Clara.”
“Of course you will,” Micah said, irritated. If Jessica knew her son, she’d know Ben always did those things. He was a good kid, who deserved better.
“And she said she’d be coming to visit after Christmas.”
And you believe her? Micah wanted to ask. But he bit his tongue instead. Of course his son believed her. Ben was forgiving to his core and he believed people when they told him something. If only it was that easy.
“You have to walk me into the building now,” Ben said. “The bell’s already rung. I need you to sign me in.”
Micah glanced down. Signing him in meant possibly seeing Kat, and after last night, he definitely didn’t want to face her. She’d poured her heart out for him and he’d sent her away. But it was the right thing to do.
Wasn’t it?
“Come on.” He started walking. “After Christmas, huh?”
Ben nodded, his right arm pumping the wheel of his chair with renewed energy. “After Christmas. Mom is coming to visit me, and she said she’ll bring presents from overseas,” his son said happily.
Micah smiled, but inside there was a growing ache in his chest as they approached the double doors of the school. Ben was so forgiving and loving. Where he’d learned those things, Micah wasn’t sure, because he certainly didn’t feel that way about his ex. And despite her sincere apology last night, he’d turned Kat away. “I wish I was more like you, buddy.”
Ben stopped wheeling and turned his head, looking up at Micah with those large, golden eyes that betrayed every emotion swirling in his little body. “Dad, you are. We’re two of a kind. That’s what Aunt Clara always tells me.”
“Two of a kind, huh?” Micah repeated.
“So, are you going to see Principal Chandler again, before you leave? Maybe she’ll give you ice cream, too.”
Micah squatted down, giving Ben a serious look. He was about to give the speech he’d given his son a hundred times already. He didn’t need anyone else in his life. He had Ben, and Ben was enough. The words didn’t come this time, though. Because it wasn’t enough. Not for him, and not for Ben. They both loved Kat. She was part of them now and they could forgive her anything, a thousand and one times if necessary, because that’s what people who loved each other did.
Ben had just taught him that.
“You’re my hero, buddy. Did you know that?” It was the truth. Ben had taught him way more about life than he could ever teach his son. And Ben made him want to be better.
“I learned watching you, Dad. You’re mine.”
The words made something shift inside him. His son was proud of him, even though he was leaving. The knowledge ripped him up inside. “Let’s get you to class,” he said, straightening and opening the door of the school.
Kat wasn’t in the front office when he signed Ben in. Val was, though. She sat, alternating between smiles at Ben and disgruntled frowns at him. Hopefully, she would be as forgiving as Ben once he fixed things with Kat.
Because he was going to fix things with Kat—before this day was over.
—
The building was quiet, except for that occasional creak that could never be identified. Kat tapped her fingers on her desk, staring at the stack of teacher requests for time off. Then there were the office supply lists that she needed to approve. And the proposed field trips for the third quarter of the school year.
With a sigh, she shoved the stacks of paper to the side and stared at the clock. She should just go home. Julie was probably cooking, and Val might even be there. The two had gotten unbelievably tolerant of each other these days, which made Kat happy. So, she didn’t have the love of a good man—the best man. She still had a sister who was loyal and sticking in Seaside indefinitely. And a best friend who made her laugh even when she wanted to cry.
A noise down the west hallway jolted Kat in her chair. She listened stiffly, hearing it a second time. No way were those vandals destroying school property again. She knew who they were now, and they’d already served their time after school.
The familiar sound of metal cans hitting the pavement brought her to her feet, though. There was no mistaking it. She started walking, getting faster as she drew closer to the side entrance. She’d really thought they’d learned their lesson, but no. She could hear the click, click sheesh of the spray paint writing who knows what on the wall outside.
Pushing through the side door, she was already lecturing the boys. “Just what do you think you’re doing—” She stopped stone-cold as she met Micah’s dark brown eyes. “You? What are you doing out here?” Her gaze searched the woods in front of her as her heart rattled her chest, and not because of the vandals. “Did you see the boys?” she asked.
Micah shook his head, but a smile was overwhelming his face. It’d been less than twenty-four hours since she’d made an absolute fool of herself, she knew, but God, she’d missed that face. He took a step closer to her and she stiffened, waiting for another rejection. And she would deserve it. She’d really screwed things up with him. She knew that, but she couldn’t change the past no matter how much she wished she could.
“I’m here to see you,” he said, stepping even closer.
“Me? Why didn’t you just come through the front door?” Her brows lowered because there was this look of mischief in his eyes. Where was the anger and the disappointment from last night?
“I decided after your whole throwing-pebbles-at-my-window-in-the-middle-of-the-night thing that I needed to do something a little more dramatic than coming through the school’s front door.”
“Dramatic?” She shook her head, still not following him. “For what?”
“To tell you how I feel. You poured your heart out to me last night, and now it’s my turn.” He held out his hands and she gasped when she saw the fresh spray paint coloring them.
Her eyes widened as she looked up. “You?” Whirling around, she gasped again at the wall of bright blue paint.
I LOVE YOU. FORGIVE ME?
Her chest pinched and her throat tightened. She couldn’t turn to face him again. There was too much emotion swirling inside of her to process. Was he just clearing his conscious before leaving?
“I understand that I’ll have to clean this mess up,” he said in a low voice as he stood behind her. His hands rested on her shoulders, squeezing softly. “And I’ll probably have to serve time after school in the Friendship Club for delinquent behavior.”
She stifled a laugh.
“I may have to serve that time when I get back from deployment, though. Do you think you can wait that long?”
Facing him now, she looked up to meet his eyes through her own tear-filled ones. “I can wait,” she said shakily.
“Yeah?” he asked, using his index finger to wipe away one of her tears.
“Yeah.” She nodded, leaning into his chest. He didn’t push her away. This was real. “But I’m the one who needs to be forgiven. I just left…and Ben.”
Micah held a finger to her lips, gently quieting her. “I’ve learned that Ben and I are two very forgiving guys. So, uh, what do you say to spending more time with us? A whole lot
more time. After I get home from deployment, that is.”
It felt so good to be back in his arms. Like a dream she never wanted to wake from. “I will spend every second with you that you’ll let me.” She laughed, on the verge of tears.
He smoothed her hair behind her ear. “That’s good, because according to Ben we’re perfect for each other. And I have to agree. I’d be a fool to let you get away. Ben and I need you, Kat.”
Her body melted into his arms. “I need you, too.” And she loved them. She loved him. He hadn’t reciprocated when she’d told him so at his house last night, though. It was written on the wall in front of her now, but no way was she saying those three words a second time. Not until he did. “You have to write me while you’re gone. And call and Skype, and whatever else you’re able to do while you’re in the desert. Do those things with Ben first, of course, but don’t leave me wondering if you’re okay.”
Micah locked his gaze on hers, tracing a finger down her cheek. “I’m going to be okay, Kat, but yes, I’ll write and call as much as I can. And I’ll think about you every second that I’m gone.”
She swallowed hard. “I’m going to miss you and Ben. Tell Ben to write and call me, too.”
Micah frowned, looking away briefly. “Ben isn’t going anywhere. He’s staying in Seaside.”
She drew back and waited for him to look at her again. “I just assumed that Ben would go live with his mother. He told me at school today that Jessica was coming home after Christmas.”
He shook his head. “Just for a visit. My aunt Clara and Uncle Rick don’t mind watching him for me. They’ve done it before.”
“You know I can help, too. I love Ben.” As much as she would her own son.
“And he loves you. So do I, Kat. I love you so much.”
She froze. “You do?” she asked. She shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d shown her in a million different ways over the past weeks.
“I love you,” he said again.
