by Jenna Jacob
“I don’t need you or your goddamn pity. Go away. Just leave me alone.”
“Pity?” Tony shook his head. “It’s definitely not pity, and there’s no way in hell I’m leaving you here. Not like this.”
“You have to. Get out. It’s for your own good. You can't be here if they come back.”
Narrowing his eyes in suspicion, he tilted his head. “Why not?”
“Because I’m going to kill them. I’m going to take the knife or scissors or whatever they used to do shred everything I own and I’m going to slice their fucking throats. That’s why!”
Tony’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he eased toward me. “You can’t do that, Leagh. You’d spend the rest of your life in jail. George wouldn’t want that.”
“I don’t care. Don’t you get it?” I sobbed. “I don’t care about anything, anymore.”
My shoulders slumped, and every cell in my body succumbed to the piercing shards of grief. Wilted and sobbing, I gazed into Tony’s chocolate eyes, feeling more alone than I ever had in my life.
“But, I do, angel,” Tony whispered in a soft plea as he pulled me to his chest. I clung to him as if he were a lifeline, one I wasn’t sure I deserved but was grateful for nonetheless. “I’m taking you home with me. We’ll figure out the rest, later.”
I wanted to fight him…kick and scream until he left me to wallow in my misery. But most of all I wanted to howl at George for leaving me alone, scared, and unprotected. Yet I couldn’t find the strength. I was exhausted and suffocating beneath the injustice of it all. Without challenge, Tony plucked me off the ground, cradled me in his arms, and carried me back to his car.
Easing me onto the soft leather seat, Tony clicked the safety belt at my hip. Hayden’s wretched letter sat on the dashboard next to my purse and keys. My stomach swirled as her threats gnawed at me. Tony glanced at the envelope with a sour expression, and I was certain he’d read its contents. The fact that he’d meddled into my private business would have normally stung my pride, but at the moment, I didn’t have the energy to give a damn.
He opened up the glove-box and handed me a package of wet towelettes. Wiping my hands as he pulled away from the house, I didn’t look back…I couldn’t. Tony was right; there was nothing left for me there. All tangible reminders of my life with George were gone. Destroyed. Those vile bitches had taken everything but my memories. I worried even those wouldn’t be enough to soothe this unrelenting pain.
Hayden’s frightening threats spooled in my head; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t push them away. If a whisper of George’s association with Genesis got out, I’d be the one she and Sloane would come after. I needed to ask Mika to talk to the members and ask them not to breathe a word. Both he and Julianna had extended their home and hearts over the past four days I hated asking them for more favors. Needing help from others made me feel inadequate and incapable of taking care of myself. Hell, it took me months before I began to rely on George.
Squeezing my eyes tight, memories of the horrific night he died flooded my brain.
George and I had spent a lovely Sunday snuggled by the fire. I remember thinking how much I treasured our weekends when he was more relaxed and playful and not distracted by his busy docket schedule. We’d talked about taking a vacation to Taos, New Mexico, in the spring. George loved the desert, but his passion was perusing the numerous art galleries. He had an amazing eye for contemporary art.
In hindsight, I should have known something more sinister than heartburn was at play when a pained expression settled over his face, and he rubbed his chest.
“Are you alright?” I’d asked him.
“Yes, girl. I’m fine. Just a bit of indigestion is all. Come; let’s go to bed. I’ll take some antacid after I’m done teasing and tormenting you. But right now, I want to hear you moan and scream my name.” A wolfish grin had spread across George’s lips as he stood and offered me his hand. I took it, marveling at the soft velvet skin of his fingers.
I remember staring at the salt and pepper scruff shading his chin as he tied me to the bed and placed the quick release line in my palm. Every time George tied me up, he insisted I had an escape, in case of emergency. Not often did I fixate on our forty-three year age difference—except during bondage play. George’s zest for life had always made him seem younger than his sixty-nine years. And with my fist squeezed around the safety loop, I sent up a silent prayer that I wouldn’t have to use it.
I should have prayed harder.
Guilt washed over me, filling my veins with icy regret. Sitting in Tony’s car, my life tattered and torn, I’d have given anything to hear George’s voice…just once more. Swallowed up by a surge of anguish, I had no idea how I was going to survive without him. He’d been the center of my whole world.
From day one the distinguished judge made me—a below minimum wage waitress at a popular café near the courthouse—feel special. Each morning he walked through the door, I found myself pausing to admire the aura of command that rolled off him. George had been impressed that by my third day on the job, I’d met him at his regular booth with his usual order of coffee and Danish. By the fifth day, Friday, he thanked me for his breakfast and invited me to sit with him for a few minutes.
Conversations with George were never brief; the man loved to talk. A bittersweet smile tugged the corner of my mouth. More than once my boss threatened to fire me for neglecting my other customers, but I didn’t care. Every second I spent with George was like Christmas morning. I found myself going to bed, looking forward to my next day at work and his visits.
He was sweet and kind and larger than life. His quick wit and carefree mien only intensified his intelligence and compassion. Sometimes, he’d stay after the breakfast crowd had thinned. He’d ask me questions with such genuine concern that I’d spilled my shameful secrets and lofty dreams… things I’d never told another living soul.
George never judged or condemned the choices I’d made, the ones that caused me to flee Atlanta in the middle of the night. He simply listened with a benevolent heart, lending sage advice on ways for me to live a happy life and remain safe.
From the very start, he’d wrapped me in his protection, even going so far as to file a restraining order on my behalf. It was his nature. He was forever asking if I had enough money to pay my bills or buy groceries. Even when I assured him I was managing just fine, he would fold a generous tip into my palm with explicit instructions.
“Go buy yourself something lacy and naughty. And when I come in tomorrow, you’re going to tell me if you’re wearing it under your uniform.” His words teemed with innuendo, and he’d flash me a wolfish grin that always set me ablaze. His command was intoxicating and arousing, and like a drug, I was hooked.
Before long George asked me to jot down my weekly schedule for him. Popping by on the nights I worked the late shift, when the café was quiet, we’d sit and chat over a piece of pie or an ice cream sundae. He made me laugh, and for the first time in a long time, the darkness gave way and there was light filtering through my life. He’d given me a priceless gift.
Although George could never be termed drop dead gorgeous, his charismatic soul stole my breath. He was my knight in shining armor and before I knew it, I’d fallen head over heels for the man.
As if on auto-pilot, my thoughts circled back to the fateful night he’d tied me to our bed. The pleasure he induced was euphoric, but even when the wave crested, I was hauntingly aware something was terribly wrong.
Fear, white and hot, sliced through my bliss. I raised my head and peered down between my legs. George’s head lolled onto the mattress, His body deathly still.
“Master?” I shrieked.
He didn’t answer.
Didn’t move.
Didn’t flinch.
“George!” I screamed. Adrenalin thundered through me.
Nothing.
“Oh god. No. No!” I wailed.
An inky surge of panic consumed me. Fighting the r
estraints, I tugged and yanked, desperate to break free. Remembering the quick release line clutched in my palm, I yanked hard, but nothing happened. The ropes remained firmly cinched. Terror seized me as I thrashed against the bindings. Pulling and tugging the rope in my palm, it finally loosened. With a shout of relief, I clawed the cords off my wrists. Rising up on my elbows, I dug my heels into the mattress, scooted backward, then leapt to my hands and knees. Scampering to the end of the bed, I discovered that George wasn’t breathing.
I reached beneath his jaw but couldn’t feel a pulse. My heart pounded in my ears, and tears stung my eyes. Wrestling against his substantial weight I managed to roll him onto his side, but momentum carried him onto his back, and I was helpless to keep him from sliding to the floor. His eyes were open, staring straight through me. His glistening mouth was slack and agape.
“No! No!” I cried. Bounding off the bed, I crouched next to his motionless body, and screamed his name. There was no response.
I pressed my ear to his chest, hearing nothing but deafening silence. Terror spread through my limbs in tingling pinpricks. Jumping from his lifeless body, I raced to the phone. I had no memory of what I’d said to the emergency operator. I only remembered that her litany of questions drove my panic level higher. I didn’t want to talk; I wanted help for George.
“Just send a fucking ambulance!” I screamed and hung up. Racing to the foyer, I disengaged the security system and unlocked the front door.
Sprinting back to our bedroom, I heard the phone begin to ring. Ignoring the incessant sound, I straddled his soft belly. Tears spilled onto the silvery hairs of his chest, and the sound of my screams echoed off the walls. Flattening my palm against his sternum, I pressed my other hand over it and began CPR compressions to his heart.
“Come back to life… back to me. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me, Master.” I wailed. “I need you. No one can keep me safe but you. Please. Please. Don’t leave me. I’m so scared.”
Pinching his nose closed with my fingers, I pressed my mouth to his. A sob tore from my throat as his lips fluttered lifelessly beneath mine.
“Breathe, George. Please…Breathe,” I begged as I repeated the steps over and over. But it was no use, I couldn’t revive him.
With a mournful roar, I fell to his chest. Nuzzling my face against his neck, I howled as all my dreams disintegrated.
“No!” I barked. Sitting up, I started administering CPR once again. “You’re going to live, goddamn it! I won’t let you leave me like this. I’m not going to let you give up on us.”
Time seemed to have stopped, trapping me in a never ending loop of compressions and exhales into his sagging lips. Sobbing and counting, I stared at George’s pallid face as I continued to pump on his chest, unwilling—unable—unready to give up.
“I knew you’d have to leave me someday but not yet. God, please not yet. I’m not ready to lose you. I need you. Come back to me, George. Come back and love me and keep me safe. Please. Please, George. We’re going to Taos. Remember? We’ll make love under the stars. I’ll buy some silky red naughty’s and model them for you. You love it when I do that. Breathe for me, baby. Please. Just one breath. Oh. God. Please!” Tears spilled down my cheeks, snot dripped from my nose, but I refused to stop bargaining him back to life. “You can take me to Brisbane’s for dinner tomorrow night. You love their grilled salmon. I’ll order it, too, and you know how I hate salmon. Come on, George. Wake up for me. Please. Please!”
The sound of sirens grew near, and I longed to tug the sheet off the bed, drape it over his naked body, and grant him a sliver of dignity. But I couldn’t stop giving him CPR...Couldn’t let go of the hope that he would draw in a gasp of breath and come back to me.
Within seconds, our bedroom was choked with EMTs and police. The chaos and their thunderous voices made me dizzy. Someone wrapped strong arms around my waist and plucked me off George’s body, as others swarmed in around him. A uniformed officer helped me into my robe, and as two somber faced paramedics set up their equipment, I clutched my waist.
I watched as the EMT’s attached two rectangular white pads to George’s chest. The room grew eerily quiet. One of the medical techs called out a command to clear before volts of electricity surged through Master’s body. George jerked, and his back arched from the floor. He sagged back to the carpet with a sickening thud, only to be partially levitated once again.
“Please, don’t hurt him,” my bleak cry of torment pierced the silence.
“I’ve got her,” another officer announced as he stepped through the doorway.
I felt the man’s gentle hand wrap around my elbow as he led me out of the room and down the hall. He sat on the couch and pulled me next to him, placing his warm hand over mine.
“They’ll do everything they can for him, Leagh. Tell me what happened, sweetheart.”
Leagh? Sweetheart? I frowned and, for the first time, looked at the officer’s face. Staring back at me were familiar hazel eyes. James. The young man was a member and Dungeon Monitor at Genesis. Until that moment, I’d forgotten he was on the police force.
“Oh, James,” I choked. “Please tell me he’s going to be okay. I’m scared.”
“They’ll do all they can, honey. I know you’re scared, but hang in there. We can’t give up hope.” He wrapped me in his arms and strummed a hand over my hair. His kindness was intended as reassurance, but being away from George, confined to another room, had me crawling out of my skin.
Peeling out of James’ embrace, I bolted off the couch.
“What are you doing?” he asked, standing up and latching onto my elbow once more.
“I have to get back in there. What if George wakes up and I’m not there? He’ll be scared with so many strangers in our room. I need to be there when they bring him back to life.”
James gripped my arm with firmness. Compassion swam in his eyes. Holding me tight, he eased me back onto the couch with him.
“The EMTs are doing everything they can. Mika and Julianna will be here in a minute. I phoned them when the call came in and I realized it was George.” James’ words were measured in a firm but gentle tone. “I need you to stay with me, so the medical team can do their job. Can you do that?”
“Yes, Sir,” I responded automatically. James was a switch, which meant he was both a Dominant and a submissive. He fashioned as either a Top or bottom, depending on the type of fulfillment he desired. I’d addressed him as Sir, because George had insisted I view James as a Dominant.
A slight smile tugged his lips, and he nodded. “Good girl. Now take a deep breath and tell me what happened.”
I broke down several times as I relived the horrific details to James. He both soothed and coaxed answers from me as he jotted notes in a small spiral notebook. He was a trusted friend and understood the dynamics of my relationship with George. While it gave me a small sense of comfort, it was still hard as hell to speak the words.
Moments later, Mika and Julianna rushed through the door, worry lined their faces. Julianna raced to the couch with me and kissed the side of my head. Nervously sliding her hand up and down my back as Mika paced, looking as if he’d been kicked in the gut. I fought to keep myself together as James helped me explain to them all that had transpired.
The EMTs had been in the bedroom a long time, and when they finally made their way into the living room, their bleak expressions confirmed my biggest fear; my Master was gone.
“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” The shorter of the two men, in white coats, spoke softly. “We did all we could to try and revive your…husband. But we couldn’t save him.”
A cry of anguish tore from my throat. I felt my heart burst apart and shatter as I sagged against Julianna and sobbed.
CHAPTER TWO
“Leagh?” Tony’s deep, velvet voice ripped through the haze of unbearable memories.
“Huh?” I jerked my head in his direction as I swiped away tears.
He nodded toward a large, French Colonial home. “I
said, we’re here.”
Tony pulled the car into the garage after he pressed a button on the visor.
“Come on. We’ll get you into a hot shower, and I’ll find you some dry clothes. You’ve been shivering for the past ten miles.”
“Okay,” I nodded numbly before stepping out his car.
Once inside, I followed behind him as he weaved his way through a spotless kitchen, past a cozy and inviting family room, and around the corner to a wide open staircase. His home held an air of comfort and sophistication which surprised me. I wasn’t sure why, but I’d envisioned his bachelor pad looking totally different.
Without a word, I followed him up the stairs, down a long hall, and into a large masculine bedroom.
“I’ve got a hot tub and shower in here.” Extending his arm toward the spacious bathroom, I stepped in past him and caught his scent. Summer grass, sea air, and erotic spices filled my head. The walls of my pussy clutched, and my clit tingled. I bit back the gasp rolling in the back of my throat. What the hell was that? My cheeks grew hot, and I was caught off guard by my visceral response. Oh, you did not just go there! You have absolutely no business thinking with your pussy, Leagh. Especially not with him!
Numerous subs at Genesis fell, or dreamed of falling, at Tony’s feet. He brought available subs out of the woodwork at the club with his sculpted body, gorgeous face, whiskey brown eyes, thick dark hair, olive skin, and commanding dominance. The man was more than drool-worthy. Hell, he’d even starred in my masturbation fantasies—secretly, of course—a time or two. But it was only in my dreams. Never once did I imagine them coming true.
Yeah, yeah - he’s easy on the eyes. Big deal. This is not the time…definitely not the time to start letting your libido overrule common sense. You’re in mourning for George, for the love of god. This is way wrong on so many levels.
I clutched the doorknob with a death-grip as opposition screamed in my head. The bathroom was huge, but with Tony standing so close and smelling so damn enticing, arousal burned low in my belly. Craving him was wrong, but I couldn’t rein in my inappropriate reactions. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d just left my Master’s gravesite. Slammed with a wave of shame and guilt that sluiced through my veins, I silently cursed my heartless hormones.
