And yet I couldn’t forget how standing on the edge of something unknown made me feel more alive than accepting things that just were. It seems as if that hasn’t changed. It was still scary and thrilling and probably ten more adjectives (at least).
We have all weekend.
Here I was again, about to dive into the river, and there was no Mom to rescue me or Dad to preach at me.
I splashed my face with cold water, scowling at my reflection in the mirror above the bathroom sink. Big eyes stared back at me, bluer than ever. My skin was pale, but my cheeks, seriously? Blushing sucked.
“Hey, you.”
I loosened my hair from its ponytail and let it fall down my back, grateful that Hailey had popped in because I needed her right now. I hugged her tightly, then let her go.
“I hate you. We’ve just spent most of the night on the beach, in the wind, and your hair looks freaking amazing.” She glanced at herself in the mirror and stuck out her tongue. Grabbing my tie off the sink, she secured her hair on top of her head and then leaned against the sink, eyes on me. “The guys are putting out the fire. Brent’s already passed out on the sofa.”
He’d been hitting it pretty heavy, so I wasn’t surprised. “I saw that.”
“Okay,” Hailey said, twirling a long piece of hair that hadn’t made it to the top of her head. “Spill.”
“What?” I asked.
“How did you convince your parents to let you go away for the weekend with Trevor Lewis?”
“What did you tell your mom?” I asked instead.
“The truth.”
“The truth.” I didn’t believe her.
“Well, yeah. I’m almost eighteen, and she knows Link and I are…well, that we’ve been having sex.” She giggled. “Lots of sex.”
“Hales. TMI. I don’t need to know the details.”
She squealed and hugged me again. “Lots of sex!”
I couldn’t help but laugh and told her she was a nympho.
“Just wait,” she replied. “You’ll understand.”
My laughter died at the same time my stomach decided to take a nervous dip.
Hailey didn’t notice, because she was doing her best selfie poses in the mirror, contorting her lips into smooches and smiles. “Mom told me not to rely on just the pill and to use condoms, because you know.” Her eyebrows rose and she whispered “STDs.”
“Huh.”
She whirled around and made a face. “She even bought me a box so I’ve got lots of them if you…” She paused, eyebrows scrunched something fierce. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No.”
Yes.
But I didn’t know why I was uncomfortable. It’s not as if Hales and I hadn’t discussed sex before or talked about boys and all the stuff you could do with them. Even when she actually started doing the things we talked about, I was okay with it. I wasn’t a prude. I didn’t judge.
Maybe sometimes I hid behind the whole “pastor’s daughter” thing. It was a good way to keep guys away when I wanted to, but the plain truth was that I just hadn’t met the right guy. Jason wasn’t the right guy.
Maybe that was it. Maybe I was hypersensitive because Trevor was the one. Why else would I come here with him? Why else would I be thinking about the things that I was thinking about, namely getting naked with him.
If we did it, would people know? Would I be different? Would they be able to tell? I bet Mrs. Hannigan from church would. She had some weird internal radar when it came to that stuff and was always talking about teens and how wicked they could be. Would she look at me and just know? I heard that she wouldn’t let her daughter ride a bike because she thought she’d hit a bump or fall and somehow lose her virginity. Can you imagine?
“So,” Hailey said. “Let me guess. You lied to your parents and told them you were spending the weekend at my house?”
“Nope.” Well, not really.
I pushed past Hailey, and she followed me into the bedroom. A lamp was on near the bed, but it was small and barely cast any light. I guess some people might think it set the mood or something, but I was just glad that it made the bed seem a little smaller. Not so overwhelming.
“Damn, that’s a big bed.”
I groaned. “Hales.”
“I’m just saying. Link’s is smaller.”
“Do you want to switch rooms?” Yeah. I was now irritated.
“Chill,” she said, testing the mattress out with the palms of her hands. She giggled, pushed up and down a few times, in an exaggerated motion. “Good. It doesn’t squeak.”
“Oh my God, Hailey.”
She stepped back. “Just teasing, though you should know the walls in this cottage are paper thin.”
“Okay. Got it. Are you leaving?”
“Like, I can hear Brent snoring from here.”
I paused. Oh. She was right about that one.
Hailey took a step toward the door and paused. “So what did you tell your parents?”
“Nothing.”
She frowned, and I had to marvel at how her one eyebrow rose while the other didn’t. “What do you mean nothing?”
“They don’t know.”
“What do you mean they don’t know?”
“Hales, they don’t know I’m here.”
“But…” She made a weird face and threw her hands into the air. “Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, Everly, but in what world does that happen? Not in Everly Jenkins’s world. Aren’t you going to go, like, straight to hell or something?”
I made a face. “Ha. Ha. Ha. You always throw the religion thing in my face.”
“I’m being serious. Since when do you pull a stunt like this?”
Did I want to get into it? No. But I knew Hailey wouldn’t leave it alone, so I decided to give her a little recap. “Mom and Isaac went to New England. He’s going to camp and then joining her at my uncle’s for a few weeks. My dad thinks that I went with them.”
“So he has no idea at all that you’re here? You didn’t leave him a note or anything? Like he thinks you’re in another state with your mom?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what he thinks. I haven’t seen him yet.”
“Wow. If anyone else had the balls to do this, I’d say that I was impressed.” She took a step toward me. “But Everly. This isn’t you. It’s not even me. I tell my mom everything. What’s going on?” Hailey knew me better than anyone, and I knew that she was concerned. I saw it in her eyes. “Look, I’ll be the first to admit that Link’s taken up a lot of my time. But you would tell me if something was up, right?”
“Hailey. Stop. It’s okay.”
“But it’s not. You’ve been weird for weeks, and I guess I was just hoping you’d come around. You used to tell me everything.”
Man, I so didn’t want to do this.
“Hailey. I’m good.”
She didn’t believe me.
“Trevor isn’t, like, making you do something you don’t want to do, is he?”
“No! God no.”
“Well? Are you going to tell me what the problem is? Because I know something is going on.”
“Nothing. Everything.” I sighed. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to go with my mom, and I really didn’t want to stay home with Dad so…I just sort of ended up here.”
“That’s it?” she asked. I could tell by the tone of her voice she wasn’t going to let this go, but a soft knock sounded behind me, and we both turned as Trevor walked into the room.
“Do you guys need a minute?” he asked, his arms above his head. The edge of his T-shirt lifted, exposing enough taut skin to get those butterflies dive-bombing again.
“Yes,” Hailey said.
“No,” I replied at the same time.
“Okay, so what am I doing?” Trevor asked, eyes moving from Hailey
to me.
Hales sighed. “You’re gonna tell me, right? Eventually?”
I nodded, afraid to talk because my throat was so tight.
She glanced at Trevor. “I think we’re good. I’m heading to bed.” She gave me a quick hug and whispered. “I love you, idiot girl. And I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk, okay? Be careful.”
And then I was alone with Trevor.
He closed the door and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his shorts before turning to me, and that was it. I was done. The guy took my breath away. With his amazing eyes, that slow crooked smile, and that five o’clock stubble on his chin, he was all kinds of intensely yummy. And the hair…man, I wanted to run my fingers through those thick waves.
“So,” he said, moving forward. “Tinker Bell?”
The ends of his hair were damp as if he’d just had a shower. “What?” Man, I sounded like a dork. A dork who was running out of breath, because seriously, it was as if he was sucking up all the air, leaving me weak and helpless. I stared at the pulse that beat at his neck. It was beating fast. As fast as mine, and that made me feel a little better. His index finger slipped under the strap of my tank top, and I think that maybe the floor moved beneath my feet. Not kidding.
“Your pajamas. Tinker Bell.”
“Oh,” I managed to say. He was so warm and he smelled so nice. “I have a thing for…ah, Peter Pan, and you know…”
But he’d moved on, and I inhaled sharply as his fingers moved along the top of my shoulder until they found a spot at the base of my skull.
“Tinker Bell, huh?” he asked.
“Yes.” I closed my eyes and felt his warm breath along the top of my head.
“I’m more of a Wonder Woman kind of guy, but I’m willing to overlook your Disney addiction.”
I attempted a smile but had no idea if it passed muster or not. As it was, I was lucky to be articulate enough to speak. “It’s not an addiction. I don’t own the Disney princess line of pajamas or anything.”
“Good to know,” he chuckled and then pulled back. “Are you ready to go to bed?”
I nodded, because I couldn’t speak. That big old lump was back, clogging my throat. I’d never shared a bed with anyone other than Hailey. Like ever. And here I was, alone with Trevor Lewis and an Olympic-sized mattress.
He tugged off his T-shirt, tossed it, and then his eyes were on me, a wicked glint in them as his fingers went for the zipper on his shorts. I scrambled for the bed, pulling back the covers so I could climb inside, but snuck a quick peek just to make sure he wasn’t, I don’t know, naked or anything.
He wasn’t naked, but he may as well have been. He wore a pair of black boxers, but not the kind that I was used to seeing in my house. Nope. His were the kind that athletes or actors or hot guys wore. They were the tight kind, the kind that showed off a very male and very well put together body.
Oh. My. God.
I turned on my side and felt him slide in behind me. He moved around a bit, punched his pillow, and then…
I held my breath, not wanting to breathe. Not knowing what to do.
Because then his arms were around me, and he pulled me in as close as two people could be. His hands were warm, just below my breasts, and his mouth was near my ear.
I’m pretty sure my heart was beating so fast and hard that he could not only feel it but hear it too.
“So you know,” he murmured, “I should probably warn you that I’m the king of cuddling.”
“Cuddling?” I managed to say without sounding like too much of an idiot.
“Cuddling,” he repeated. “King.”
“Okay,” I whispered, not really sure where he was going with this, but I relaxed a bit.
“Nice?” he murmured, snuggling closer.
Nice? He felt amazing. His body was hard and lean and so different from mine.
“Yes.”
A heartbeat passed, and then I asked a question that had been buzzing around my brain since we got here.
“Can I ask you something?” I whispered.
“Anything.”
“Have you brought other girls here?”
Trevor was silent for a few moments, and when he spoke, I felt his warm breath on my skin. “Not a lot or anything, but Bailey’s been here a few times.”
“In this bed?” Oh. My. God. Like where else would they be?
Again a pause.
“Yeah.”
“And you guys…” I don’t know why, but suddenly tears poked the corners of my eyes. Hot, prickly tears. How inconvenient. “Never mind.”
“Hey,” he said, voice low. “It’s okay. I’m not hiding anything from you. I’ll tell you anything that you want to know.”
“I just…I’ve never…and you have and I don’t know if I can…” Ugh. I was making a mess of this.
He kissed my cheek and rested his head on my shoulder. “I don’t mind going slow, Everly. I don’t mind at all.”
When I could speak again, I whispered, “Thank you.”
“You’re worth waiting for.”
The tears, oh those stupid, silly tears, fell silently down my cheeks, and it took everything I had not to sniffle or shudder or let him know how affected I was by him. By the way he was with me.
Trevor Lewis had just knocked my world off its axis. He was the river.
And boy, I was glad that I jumped.
Chapter Twenty-one
Trevor
Our plans to spend the day out on the Tickfaw were ruined by a couple of things. First off, no one dragged their butts out of bed until nearly one o’clock in the afternoon. And well, the rain. It was coming down in buckets, and I’m not talking about a nice, soft, summer rain. This was a full on Louisiana sorry-about-your-luck kind of rain.
Whatever. Didn’t bother me at all. I could have spent the entire weekend in bed with Everly. Even if all we did was cuddle, because the girl was soft and warm and she smelled amazing.
Also. Everly. Nuff said.
If it weren’t for the other three people in the cottage, we might have, but Brent was a total douche and kept banging on our door, making inappropriate noises, the kind that made Everly’s cheeks go rosy and adorable. After the fourth or fifth time, we realized he wasn’t giving up. The guy couldn’t help it. He’d always been a bit of a dick.
And apparently he wasn’t staying either. Said the rain was depressing as hell and that hanging out with two couples was even worse. I knew he was not digging the fact that Link and I weren’t interested in getting loaded with him, and drinking seemed to be the only thing he liked to do these days.
After he ate a crap ton of eggs, he packed his stuff and took off for home. Said he’d catch up with us later, but I wasn’t so sure I’d see him before he left for Texas again. The guy was different. But then again, I guess we all were.
So, the way I saw it, Everly and I had a couple of choices.
We could stay in the cottage, maybe play cards (strip poker? not likely), and cuddle on the sofa while Link and Hailey disappeared into the other bedroom. And in the space of two hours, they’d disappeared at least three times.
Or we could head to Baton Rouge on our own.
We opted for Baton Rouge, because the thought of trying to act like we didn’t know what Hailey and Link were doing, while we kept busy doing everything but what Hailey and Link were doing, kind of sucked. We were taking it slow, and I was cool with that, but still, the cottage had paper-thin walls and our roommates weren’t exactly quiet.
Everly drove and I tried to ignore the tic behind my right eye and the dull headache that wouldn’t seem to go away. Wasn’t hard to do. She looked hot in a dress that showed just enough leg to get a guy thinking. Tight jeans or short shorts were great, but there was something about a girl wearing a dress that I liked.
By the time we rea
ched Baton Rouge the rain had stopped, and we decided to eat dinner at an outdoor place on Front Street. It was family owned, and according to my parents, had the best Creole and Cajun food in the city, which is why I suggested it. Turns out Everly had never been to Baton Rouge.
After digging into a plate full of crawfish-stuffed beignets, I had to agree. The food was top-shelf, and the company, well, I could have stared into Everly’s eyes all night. I know. I was the guy in the chick flick. Sue me.
“What?” I asked, wiping the corner of my mouth as I settled back in my chair.
Everly shrugged and twirled the straw in her glass of soda, that slow smile creeping over her face. The one that made my stomach tighten. The one that made me think about lying in bed with her the night before.
“You sure can eat a lot,” she said softly.
“I’m a growing guy.” I laughed. “With a big appetite.” There it was. The blush I’d been waiting for.
“Good to know.” She tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “I, uh,” she said slowly, so slowly that her slight southern drawl was accented. “I’m just happy to be here with you. Away from Twin Oaks and everything.”
“Ditto.”
She smiled then, a full-on one-hundred-watt smile, and man, it felt like I’d just won the lottery. It was amazing that a smile could do that.
“Do you think this is weird?” she asked suddenly.
“Weird?” I wasn’t sure where she was going with this, and damn, but my head was starting to throb again.
“Us. I mean, I just didn’t think that we’d…that you and I…I’m…” Her cheeks flushed again and she blew that piece of hair back. It was humid and kept curling onto her face.
“You’re?” I reached over and tucked that piece of hair back where it belonged. I heard her breath catch. It was a soft sound, but it hit me hard, and I leaned back in my chair again, heart racing in that way that’s part excitement and part, I don’t know, fear?
“I’m not like the girls you’ve dated. I’m not…super outgoing or into big parties or clubs.” She made this noise, like she was frustrated. “What do you see in me, Trevor?”
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