I stomped around to the driver’s side and hopped in the truck. For a moment, I thought about not unlocking his door and leaving him in the parking lot to walk home. This wasn’t the first time he’d tried to argue with me over this. He had never been through anything like I had. I couldn’t help it that I’d had more responsibility thrown on me before I was ready for it. I couldn’t help it that her dying had killed a part of me.
He tapped on the window, muttering something I couldn’t hear.
I turned the ignition and purposely cranked the radio. My hand cupped my ear, leaning over in his direction. “Can’t hear you. What was that? You want to walk?”
He rolled his eyes.
“You promise not to bring up the previous subject again?”
He nodded. I unlocked the door, and he crawled in.
“So, you going to go with me at least?”
“Why?” I asked, demanding an answer.
Finn shrugged. “Because you’re my best friend, and I want you there.” Wow. There it was. The statement that made me feel like shit. “Plus, I’m hoping one day you’ll lighten back up. You don’t need to carry the world on your shoulders. I know you were dealt a shitty hand, but you’ve handled it better than anyone could have. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself. I think making you go to these things will be good. One day it’ll help.”
I narrowed my eyes, focusing on the car in front of us as it came to a rolling stop at the traffic light. “I’ll go.” His theory of one of these things helping me was the most idiotic thing I had heard. They weren’t going to help.
* * *
The next day I was in a better mood. Having little sleep apparently made me a huge douche. I had stopped at a bagel shop and grabbed some pastries as a subtle apology to Finn. I walked to the office and stopped outside the door. It was a beautiful day. I took a deep breath, pulling in the salty air.
“Breakfast! How did you know I was starving?” Finn asked as he came out the door.
I smirked and wagged my finger at him. “When are you not starving?”
He took the box from me. “Truth.” He spun around, opening the box. “Gotta tour leaving out in ten minutes. You going on it?”
Before I could answer, my cell started ringing. I twisted my hand and stopped in mid-step once I read the number. My thumb swiped across the screen before I put it to my ear. “Hey, Dad.” I hated the way my lungs constricted at the mention of his name. He was my father. I shouldn’t hate it when he called. But I did. Most of the time, I avoided it. I couldn’t bear talking to him, which made me loathe myself.
Once a year, no matter how much I didn’t want to, I answered. That once-a-year moment was something I dreaded the entire twelve months leading up to it. His birthday. Every year, he called around this time. Every year, he wanted me to come home so we could go fishing together. It was our tradition. It was also an engagement that I didn’t want to participate in. I had no desire to go home. In fact, I wanted to stay far away from it. But no matter what I wanted, I wouldn’t let him down.
“Busy? You haven’t returned my calls. I was beginning to think my son didn’t want to talk to me.”
My eyes cut to Finn and motioned for him to go on inside. He took the hint and left me alone. “Yeah, you know how things are with work.” It was a lame excuse. I knew it the second the words left my mouth. But I also knew he wouldn’t question that reason.
A throaty chuckle came over the line followed by an onset on coughs. My chest clenched. The man I admired was getting old. Being the stubborn prick I was, I was missing out on being with him. The man who’d raised me, who’d given me everything I ever wanted, who was sitting alone in a house miles away was too good for me to call my father.
“You still coming up for our fishing trip, right? That job can do without you for at least one day.” His voice was hopeful.
I knew he didn’t want another repeat of last year, when I’d waited until the last minute and phoned to tell him something had come up. I could practically feel his disappointment through his words.
“I wouldn’t miss it.” I spun around and walked over to the railing. My fingers drummed against the splintered wood as my head dropped. No matter how much I tried to prepare myself for going back to that house, nothing worked. Those trips opened a gaping hole that had never fully healed.
“Good! You know, you could bring someone… if you wanted,” he said.
It was my turn to laugh. “It’ll just be me, Pop. No girlfriend.”
“I really hope you meet someone. I’d really like to see who you end up with before I die.”
“Dad—”
“I’m getting old, Luca, so don’t ‘Dad’ me.”
“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” I promised, ready to stop the conversation before I was on the receiving side of a lecture.
“Looking forward to it,” he said.
I ended the call and dropped my head.
“You’re never going to believe who I ran into this morning,” Finn said coming out from behind me. He made a sound in the back of his throat, motioning to the right of me.
I glanced over to see Leroy coming down the pier. “I’ll tell you later.”
“You’re not leaving me here to deal with that.”
I hated suit guys. Dealing with them was something I dreaded. As he approached us, he reached into a leather briefcase beating against the side of his leg and pulled out a stack of papers. I darted past Finn, who leaned against the rail with an amused look on his face.
“Mr. Bennett! I really need to talk to you. You haven’t returned any of my calls.”
I kept walking, even picked up speed.
“This matter can’t go unhandled for much longer. You need to think about resourcing out.”
I looked back at Finn. “Handle this for me, will you?”
He nodded, stepping in front of Leroy to block his path as I skirted down to the tour boat and jumped on board. Finn’s arm sliced dramatically through the air.
Leroy’s face bypassed red and went straight to maroon. He locked eyes with me as he glanced over Finn’s shoulder. His foot stomped a moment later, and he rigidly left the dock.
Finn laughed the entire way to the boat. “Dude was all kinds of butthurt.” He took a seat next to me as Captain Charles’s voice rang out over the speaker. “But you really do need to get up with him before he has a heart attack or some shit. You see how mad he got?”
I leaned against the seat as the boat started backing up. “Yeah, I know. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with it though. He’s already left me like ten messages.” I paused for a moment. “So you never told me who you ran into.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Bri.”
Suddenly he had my attention. I had no idea why. But the mention of Bri’s name made me think of her friend. Leigh. I smiled, not realizing I was doing it until Finn gave me a funny expression.
I chose my next words carefully. I couldn’t sound too eager, or he would latch onto it and use it against me. “Oh, yeah? Where did you see her?” I asked, looking down at my hands.
“The gas station. Said she was thinking about having a party at her house this Saturday night. She invited us.”
“That’s weird. You don’t even know her that good, do you?”
His features twisted as if reaching back to memories that were blacked out.
I laughed. “It isn’t that hard to answer.”
“I was trying to remember if we’d boned.”
“How would you not know that?”
“I’m not like you. The girls haven’t been a select few. I like to spread the love. All girls deserve some of Finn,” he said with a knowing smirk. “All I gotta do is give them that come-hither look, and they’re good to go.” His chest puffed out slightly, and he started doing weird things with his lips while batting his eyes.
“Finn.”
We looked at Captain Charles.
Worry etched his forehead. “You okay?”
“Yes, sir
. Just showing Luca my come-hither look. Probably shouldn’t have. Now he’ll be trying to do it.”
Captain Charles shook his head, running his hands along the steering wheel. “Don’t think so, son. My guess is Luca doesn’t want to look like he’s having a stroke.”
I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to keep the laughter to a minimum.
Finn sat back and crossed his arms. “Y’all just don’t know how good that works on the ladies.” He glared at us from the corner of his eye.
“So, you going to go?” I asked, finally suppressing my amusement.
Finn’s head cocked to the side. “Go where?”
“To the party.”
“Why? You want to go?”
My skin felt warm despite the cool air hitting it as the boat plowed through the chopping waves. I slumped forward, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’ll go if you want me to.”
Finn’s hands flew into the air. “So now you want to go to a party? Anything else I invite you to, you don’t ever want to go. What’s different with this?” His eyes narrowed.
I had to back up. There was no way I could push this. And if I had to be honest with myself, the fact that I was slightly interested in this girl wasn’t a good thing. That wasn’t me. It wasn’t what I planned for my life. My limit was two weeks for any girl I talked to. Unless she got too attached before that. I made it clear it was only to be kept sociable with just friendly benefits. Nothing serious. Somehow, I got the feeling Leigh wouldn’t be that kind of girl. She would be the girl who could be potentially dangerous.
“Well, you said Saturday? I might have something to do then, but I’m still down for the island party.”
“All right.” He grinned, clearly satisfied by that.
I didn’t need to go to that party. It was the last thing I should do. I kept repeating it to myself. Curiosity killed the cat. That was all it was. I was curious. I studied a family sitting near us on one of the benches. They weren’t very interesting, but I needed something to distract me.
The last thing I wanted was to get into something with a girl that I couldn’t get myself out of.
I didn’t do relationships.
I didn’t do love.
5
Leigh
A slow quiet week passed by with no more mentions of my wild night. While Bri went to work, I lay out on the beach soaking up the rays. My pasty skin thanked me by actually producing a nice tan. That was something I hadn’t had in years. Work didn’t leave me any time for it. That was all by choice though. I tended to drown myself in projects. Maybe that was why Russ did what he did. Shit! I wasn’t supposed to ever think his name. Yeah, he was pretty much my version of Harry Potter’s He Who Must Not Be Named.
I flipped the page on a cheesy romance novel I had found on Bri’s shelf, trying to forget the memories of Russ that had flooded my mind. Thinking of him would ruin my day. I had had enough of those these past few weeks. Coming here, I was determined I wouldn’t go home until I got over him. But it was hard. It seemed like I was stuck in a rut. Who was I kidding? My entire life had been a rut.
Sand hit my feet. I glanced up to find Bri staring down at me, still in her work clothes minus shoes.
“We’re having a party tonight,” she announced triumphantly.
I stiffened at the thought of being social once more. There was no way I was going down that road again. Yesterday was the first day I’d felt completely normal again.
“Why?” I asked, unimpressed by the festivities mentioned.
She plopped down beside me. “Because I’m determined to find you a new man. Even if he’s a one-nighter. I feel like I haven’t done my job as a best friend until I find you that one person that can help you move on and forget about dickface.”
I closed my book. “I’m not about to bang a random person I meet. You know that.”
“I know. I know. But at least talking with someone, flirting — whatever — might help. You’ve been walking around here like a depressed zombie all week. You’re starting to bum me out, and that’s hard to do considering I’m usually the happiest person people meet. Who knows who’ll end up here tonight…” Her voice trailed off, her nostrils flaring.
I knew whom she was referring to. The only guy I had remotely shown any sign of interest in since arriving.
“You really think he might come?” I hated the question as soon as I asked it. It was practically admitting I was, indeed, interested. It wasn’t that I minded Bri knowing that. It was because I knew I had no chance with him. Guys who looked like him went for girls who looked like Bri. So, when he rejected me, it was going to be embarrassing.
Bri’s smile grew to enormous proportions. “Maybe. I put the word out to Finn at the beginning of the week when I saw him at the gas station, even though I hate that douche ninety percent of the time.” She was silent for a minute. “Even though he’s hot as hell.” Whoa. This was the first time I’d seen her act like this over a guy. Was it that Bri didn’t have Finn’s attention like she did other guys? Maybe.
“How is it that you’ve known about this party since the beginning of the week and didn’t tell me?”
Her mouth drooped for a second, then the corners turned up into a smile. “Because I thought you’d dwell on it. I know you hate being around people you don’t know well because you’re so shy.”
Bri had a point. If she would’ve told me, I would’ve been nervous the entire week and counted down the days with a dreaded passion.
“Oh, I guess you have a point.”
She patted my leg then gave it a small squeeze. “Baby steps. I know it’s hard for you to be here around all these new people. But last weekend was a person I’ve never seen before.” She looked at me, her expression serious. “It was nice for you to let go. I think it’s what you need after what you’ve been through.”
“Despite it leaving me feeling like a truck hit me, it was fun.” I leaned over and bumped shoulders with her. “At least the parts I can remember.”
“Everyone will be here in a few hours.” She stood, brushed her butt off, then extended a hand to me. “Let’s go get dressed, my bronzed goddess.”
I gripped her hand. “I know, right? The sun is really helping me out.” I gathered my things and followed her back to the house.
Once inside, she disappeared to the bedroom. A moment later, the shower turned on, and her lyrical voice filled the house with song.
I wandered to my room and found a sundress lying across the bed. The fabric was soft and light. The pale yellow color made my skin look even darker against it. Dresses were not my thing. I hated wearing them, mostly because I felt they never looked good on me. Glancing back, I focused on the open suitcase. Shorts and a shirt were always an option. No. I needed different. Breaking out of my normal plain-Jane persona was the purpose of this trip. The dress won. I grabbed it and headed to the guest bathroom to take a shower.
An hour later, I sat on the couch with my hands folded in my lap. My palms sweated together. A few people had already arrived, bringing with them plates of food that smelled delicious. Laughter rang out from the kitchen. Everyone was having a good time but me. Of course, they all knew each other.
“You want a drink?” Sarah asked, appearing at the side of the couch.
Now that I’m not drunk, I guess I should find out her real name. She was the only one who’d tried to befriend me.
“No thank you. Last weekend is still fresh on the mind, you know?”
She laughed. “Oh, yeah. Bet you were pretty beat up after all that.”
I nodded. “By the way, I’m horrible about names. I keep wanting to say your name is Sarah, but I’m not sure.”
“Close. Suri.” She took a seat on the couch. “It’s impressive that you got it that close as hammered as you were.”
“I have a confession to make. That was the first time I’ve ever drunk that much.”
She roared with laughter. “I kind of figured that.”
The door opened, and more peop
le piled in. I sucked my breath, searching for him. My stomach dropped when he wasn’t one of the newcomers. Each of them waved in our direction before joining the others in the kitchen. Suri jumped up and followed them, chatting with another girl in the back.
I watched the clock. It sounded miserable because that was what I was. Miserable. More people had shown up, but neither Luca nor Finn had bothered to come. To make it worse, I was pretty sure everyone here was already drunk except me. Sighing, I pushed a chunk of hair behind my shoulder. It was crazy frizzy for some reason tonight. I’d tried my best to tame it, but that hadn’t worked out. So, I had hidden it under a fedora that ended up looking pretty cute with the dress.
People had migrated to the living room. Most were sitting, having conversations that were entirely too loud. Another group danced to music blaring from the surround-sound speakers.
Bri bumped against my leg before squeezing between me and a guy with his back to me. “Sorry he was a no-show. I tried.”
“It’s fine.” I looked around the room, feeling claustrophobic all of a sudden. “I think I’m going to go out and get some fresh air. It’s getting really stuffy in here.” It wasn’t, but I needed some time in solitude. That was a big issue with introverts. A social scene like this one took a lot out of us.
“Do you want me to come with you? I’ll ditch these chumps if you want me to.”
I couldn’t allow her to do that. These were her friends. People she saw and hung out with on a day-to-day basis. I wasn’t one of them and couldn’t allow her to hurt their feelings because of me.
“I’m fine. You know I like to be alone sometimes.”
She nodded.
I took my time, subtly getting up. There was a dip in the cushion from me sitting in the same spot so long. I maneuvered around the coffee table only to be stopped by a group of guys. Honestly, all of them were super cute, but none grabbed my attention. “Excuse me, guys. I need to get by.”
Fearlessly Yours: Emerald Coast Series Page 4
