by Pippa Jay
He quirked an eyebrow. “My home? Or space?”
“Both.”
Yoran laughed. “That’s a big question. Or rather, two big questions.” He rubbed his chin. “I should be able to show you a little of both, though.” He lowered himself into the nearby chair, grimacing. Soraya touched his shoulder, picked up the faint flashes of pain from his leg and sent a soothing wave to ease it that earned her a returning surge of gratitude.
“This is a view of your world, before I was attacked.” An image of a glowing silvery sphere patterned by darker swirls filled the cabin. Soraya stared, watching the shining globe slowly turn in front of her. It touched her like the first kiss of sunlight after the long dark, sending prickles of excitement over her skin. But something was missing.
“I don’t see any stars!”
Yoran chuckled. “The light reflecting from your planet hides them. But they’re there. Look.” He adjusted something, and the view veered away to blackness as deep as night. Soraya blinked, and a thousand pinpricks of light appeared on a veil of blue and mauve, brightening the more the image left her world behind.
“They’re so much bigger! And they don’t flicker.”
“Nope. Your atmosphere does that to them, breaks up the light so they look like they’re twinkling. That doesn’t happen in space. No atmosphere.” He grinned at her, his amusement bubbling through their link. Her energy pulses increased. Was he laughing at her ignorance?
“I suppose you think I’m rather foolish.”
His grin vanished. “No. Honestly, no.” He touched her hand where it rested on his shoulder. “I love how excited you are about it. And surprised. Everyone I know pretty much takes it for granted, being as we travel into space from quite a young age. We did a school trip to a space station when I was five, but we’d seen images from all over the galaxy even before that.” The smile returned. “The way you light up—literally—kinda makes me feel excited about it again.” He hesitated. “I’d love to show you them for real.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, but...would you be able to leave here? I mean, I’m guessing you’re okay with the air in my ship, but what about gravity? And food?” His anxiety stung her.
“I...don’t know.” The idea both excited and scared her. To see the stars, maybe visit new worlds—it was something she had imagined. Dreamed of. But to do it for real? To leave her home? No one had ever done that. She had no clue what it might do to her.
Yoran sighed. “I guess we could only find out by trying it, if you were willing. But it’s not happening any time soon, if ever.” Again, his dismay dampened the few moments of elation. “Although even if I could get home, I’m not sure the reception there will be any better.”
“Trouble?”
“Oh, yeah. Big trouble.” Yoran waved a hand. “But that doesn’t matter, since I can’t leave. Not unless anyone comes looking for me, and that could be just as bad news.”
“Can I help?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Will you come and look at the engine core with me? I mean, I don’t know if you know anything about it, but you’ve done some amazing stuff so far.” He gestured to himself.
“Show me.”
EXCITEMENT SET THE energy lines in her skin pulsing. Here was something more familiar, a form of energy not unlike that of the sun. The shielding that housed it was damaged and had radiation leaking from it that could kill the human by her side, if not for his protective outer clothing. He’d tried to insist she wear it too, but she’d refused. It would only have blocked her ability to touch and taste for analysis. And the energy... Soraya hummed as she soaked up the leakage. She could fix the breaks and make this place safe for Yoran. She could help send him back to the stars as he wanted.
Something inside her knotted hard, made her cold and unhappy. She let her hands drop from the housing. Why? Why that sudden terrible emptiness inside? To help and to heal were her reasons for existence. For her life and her happiness. Why did the thought of helping Yoran leave this aching chasm inside her?
She started as Yoran tapped her on the shoulder. She turned, saw his mouth moving inside the glass plate of his helmet, and shook her head. Without touch, she couldn’t communicate with him.
He pulled a face—exasperation. Then he pointed to the core, grinned, then looked sad. Then he grinned again.
What is he doing? Soraya tilted her head as if somehow a different angle of vision might explain his off gestures. Then it clicked. Oh... She tried to replicate his smile, and the response hit her like the first warmth of spring. He didn’t simply smile back. Joy and hope lit his face as though she’d healed him all over again.
But it only left her colder. Yoran would go back to the stars and leave her alone again.
Alone? Soraya turned back to the core, already sending strands of herself into the fractures to seal them. In this radiation, a few of her own cells would readily replicate and complete the work without further instructions from her. She’d already soaked up most of the excess radiation in the room.
Yes, alone. There were others of her kind, and similar life forms, that she would meet and heal. But always they left, went their own way, each alone. It had never bothered her before. Now that she had bonded with this human, this entity to whom isolation was hideous, and taken a similar form, the concept of loneliness terrified her.
She hesitated in her task. She didn’t want him to leave. But forcing him to stay here would only harm him, far more than it hurt her to let him go. She shook herself. The decision wasn’t hers to make. She could and must give him the means to leave and make a choice for himself. She completed the repairs, and the core burned brighter, the instrumentation beside it leaping into life.
Again, Yoran made those sounds, muffled by his suit but nonetheless she could pick up the pleasure in them and see it flare in his aura, even muted by the protective fabric. Though her insides were cold, she had made him happy and it took the edge off her own sadness. At least she would have that memory to give her comfort when he left.
YORAN TUGGED THE SCORCHED and twisted circuit boards from the guts of his main console, and felt his stomach knot to match. So much damage. At this rate, even with his power source now at full capacity, he didn’t even have the basic controls for take-off, let alone travel to somewhere more civilized for further repairs or even to locate a replacement vessel. He might be able to get a distress signal out, but that would come with risks. It would tell Chevelle’s family that they hadn’t finished the job for one.
He sighed, and dropped the board onto the growing pile of wrecked electrical parts beside him. A tower of tortured metal, plastics and fiber-optics that would be more use to a scrapyard. More awaited him inside the panels.
He buried his face in his hands for a moment. Maybe when he looked again, all the damage would be gone. It was a futile wish. The utter hopelessness of his situation set his injured leg throbbing and emphasized the remaining aches in his body despite all Soraya’s work. Perhaps he would have been better off if he’d died in the crash.
A light, cool touch on his shoulder pulled him from his despair and soothed those flickers of discomfort. He turned to Soraya. Maybe it was just her special abilities, but even with the strange iridescence of her skin reminding him she wasn’t human, the sight of her face lightened his heart in a way Chevelle had only made it hurt.
“What is it?”
He shrugged. “Most of this is useless. I can’t fix it, and I don’t have replacements.”
Soraya picked up the nearest piece. “You need these to leave?”
“Yup.”
Soraya withdrew her hand, and a faint pang of disappointment tugged at him. He didn’t need her touching him to help his injuries, but he missed it when she wasn’t in contact with him.
She took hold of the circuit board and her hand melted away, thin veins of silver flowing across the component’s surface. Her energy lines pulsed. Then the metal threads withdrew back into her and she touched his wrist.
“Most of the constituents of this can be found here. I’m made up of some of them myself. But I don’t know their original form before they were damaged. Can you—”She frowned. “You don’t have a word for it. The way my people share information. It’s...”
His heart skipped a beat at the cute way she wrinkled her nose in her confusion. That wasn’t a Chevelle expression, just pure Soraya. He shook himself. Concentrate! She’s trying to ask you something.
“Um, show? Tell?”
She shook her head, the rays of light in her skin shifting. “No, it’s more complicated than that. It’s...taste and touch and energy and colors. You humans rely more on simple visuals than anything. There’s so much more to know, to feel, to experience beneath what you merely see.”
Her explanation only made him feel more stupid. “What can I do to help you?”
“I need to know its form before it was destroyed.”
“Oh.” He turned back to the console and tapped rapidly at the few keys still operative. “I can project the blueprint if that’ll help.”
A glowing blue likeness of the circuit board flashed into life in midair, details etched in fine lines of light. Soraya shimmered in response, her face lighting up...literally.
“Yes. Yes, this will do.” Her excitement bled into him for an instant before she took the board in both hands and pushed it into the holographic version of itself. More liquid silver flooded the board until it vanished into an undulating sheet of the stuff, like an ocean wave hovering in the air as it continued rolling. The wave collapsed, and half the board with it, as if dissolved. Yoran’s stomach tightened. Digesting the board didn’t seem an ideal way to fix it, but he had to trust Soraya. Confidence radiated from her as brightly as the lines of energy in her skin.
The silver wave rolled upward a second time, and as it sank back into Soraya, a brand new, complete piece of circuitry appeared in her hands.
“Wow.” Imagine what someone would pay to have abilities on tap. He mentally slapped himself for even thinking such a thing. He’d been beyond lucky that Soraya had found him. Even having the benefit of her talents all to himself set guilt locking his throat. To even consider selling them out...
Knowing that she couldn’t hear him, he reached out to place his fingertips on her shoulder. She jerked toward him, her expression startled. Had she forgotten he was there?
“That’s amazing,” he told her, hoping his sincerity came through. Judging by her grin, it had. The smile was another punch to his gut. Did she know how beautiful she was? Especially when she was happy.
She handed him the completed board. “Will this do it?”
“Let me check it.” It looked perfect, just off-the-production-line new. He slipped it into place, and a series of red warning lights changed to green. A grin threatened to split his face as he turned back to Soraya. “It works!”
A shadow passed over her expression, but her matching smile made him think he’d imagined it.
“Then show me the other...blueprints?”
“Sure.” He called up the one to match the next circuit she’d picked up. There were so many, it took a significant amount of time for her to convert each one back to its former glory. The planet’s brittle sunlight had turned to gloomy twilight by the time they’d reduced the broken tower to working pieces he could slot back into place. Both of them were kneeling on the floor by the time she came to the last, and as she passed it back to him, Yoran had to stifle a yawn.
“Do you need to recharge?”
Yoran laughed. “I should be asking you that. You’ve done all the work today.”
“I had the sunlight.” She gestured toward the glass window behind him.
“And now that it’s night time?”
She blinked at him. “Normally I would rest, but it’s not necessary during this part of the planet’s orbit. There’s enough light to last me through the darkness. But don’t you need to rest?”
“I’m not that tired yet.” Yoran gazed at her. Silence stretched out between them, and his face heated up. He coughed. He’d been staring at her far too long.
“I’ll...just get something to eat. Are you...did you need to....” Words knotted his tongue. I can hardly ask her if she’s going to stay the night without it sounding bad. Even if she doesn’t understand.
“Would you like me to stay?”
Oh, drek. He’d been holding her hand the whole time, and now he couldn’t pull away without offending her. “Er, you don’t have to. I mean, if you’d be more comfortable wherever it is you live.”
Soraya frowned. “You’re upset. Your temperature and heart rate have risen sharply. Will it hurt you if I leave?”
“No, I’m fine. Honest.” Yoran took a deep breath, willing his pulse to slow. Damn it. “It’s not...I’m fine.”
“You seem to be in distress.” Soraya withdrew her hand only to take Yoran’s in both of hers. “Please, let me help you.”
“Really, it’s nothing. I promise. It’s just—” Hell, how do I explain? “It’s normal. For me. I mean, humans.”
Soraya’s expression was skeptical. “You’re sure you’re well?”
“Absolutely. Nothing wrong with me.” Nothing a cold shower and a psychological readjustment wouldn’t fix. “I need to eat, that’s all. Yeah.” The already-given excuse offered him good reason to pull away from her before he did anything more stupid and escape a situation he just hadn’t expected to be in.
“CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?”
Soraya inclined her head. The human gestures were coming more easily the more time she spent in this form and in Yoran’s company. Might she become wholly human? Unable to retake her true form? She shivered. Perhaps it was for the best if he left soon, or perhaps she could never go back to being Soraya. To being herself.
“Why that face? Why...Chevelle?”
He stumbled over the name, and pain came with it. Soraya shuddered.
“It hurts you. I’m sorry.”
Yoran waved it away. “It’s all right. I just wondered...”
“It was the image with the strongest emotions tied to it. I thought it would be the better choice. The form least likely to offend you.”
“It doesn’t offend me.”
“But it does hurt you. I never meant for that. Can you tell me why?”
He blew out a breath. “I’m not sure if I can explain it. If you’ll understand.”
“I’d like to know. “
“Okay.” Yoran busied himself with the stack of broken ship’s components piled between them for a moment. “My parents and Chevelle’s made an arrangement when we were young. They decided the two of us would marry.”
“Marry?”
“Um, be joined? Linked? To unite our families, hopefully with some children.”
“Oh, a bonding.”
“Yeah.” Yoran sighed. “As we got older, I couldn’t wait for the day. She was beautiful, smart, strong.” He gave a short chuckle. “She gave her parents so much trouble. She was everything I wanted in a partner. We’d have achieved so much together, maybe even have escaped our families.” His face shone at the memory, and Soraya felt a pang deep inside that she quickly smothered. At the same moment, the light died in Yoran’s aura, dimmed by shadows. She ached to give him comfort. “But she didn’t feel the same way about me. She was in love with someone else, and it was breaking her heart to be forced to marry me.”
Her ache intensified, partly her own pain, mostly his. He had suffered a loss. “You loved her.”
“More than anything. So, I agreed I’d be the one to break our contract, to preserve her reputation and family name. The shame and embarrassment would prevent her parents arranging another match, due to their daughter being spurned, and she’d be able to follow her heart.” He sighed. “I must have been crazy. Doing something like that...” He waved a hand. “We’re not supposed to put feelings before duty.”
“You’re not?”
“Nope. Even my family motto is ‘Duty before all�
�. Putting Chevelle’s happiness before everything our families wanted, even what I wanted...” He shrugged again. “Of course, it was a huge black mark against me and humiliating for my family.” Yoran winced, then shook his head. “So I ran. I figured I’d get myself to the other side of the galaxy, buy a new identity and start again. But Chevelle’s three brothers wouldn’t let the insult go. They came after me, shot me down. So here I am.”
“They attacked you?”
“Yes.”
“They would have killed you.” A tiny hope flared inside her, but she tried not to hold onto it too tight. Just because danger awaited him in the stars was no reason to expect him to stay in a place hazardous to his health, and ultimately his mental wellbeing. This world was not for him. This man was not for her.
“Yeah. And if they find out I’m alive...” Yoran blew out a breath, one hand to his neck. “Well, I still need to get myself that new identity. Put myself on the other side of the galaxy out of their way.”
And far, far away from me. Something ran down her face, and she raised a hand to brush a droplet of water from her cheek. What was that?
“Why are you crying? Did I upset you?”
“Crying?” Soraya blinked, eyeing the moisture as it gleamed in the sun, rainbow colors refracting from it. “I have never cried before.”
Yoran reached to brush more of the water from her cheek, and the touch set sparks dancing across her skin. She leaned into his hand, saw surprise flicker across his face. He was so close she could—
Memories of lips touching, skin against skin, alien feelings of desire and excitement and a pull toward further contact, to go deeper, to unite...
He jerked away and the moment shattered, the strange euphoria snatched and swallowed up. The wide-eyed look of horror on his face threw her back to his initial reaction, when he had shot her. Hurt her.
She shoved to her feet, panic a hot pulse through her body. No matter how far they’d come, she was still an alien to him. Inhuman. Disgusting, perhaps. What had she been thinking, allowing herself to get so close? He didn’t want her near him.
