Hope

by Sydney Lane

  Chapter 9

  Declan

  I don't even know this girl, but I know she deserves better than what I want to do with her. She acts like she's done this a hundred times before, and maybe she has, but this isn't me. But that's the point, isn't it? For just one night, I don't want to be the nice guy. I don't want to be the preacher's kid. Tonight, I just want to be selfish and take this one thing for myself.

  I've wanted her since I first saw her at the party. I just didn't realize it at the time.

  When she nods, I take her hand, walking briskly toward the fraternity house. The best thing that could have ever happened is that Brody moved out of the house. I don't have to worry about getting caught with my pants down, figuratively or literally. Stopping on the porch, I turn to her.

  "Is this really what you want?" God, I hope she says yes.

  Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, she nods. So hot.

  Her eyes sparkle as she looks up at me. I was wrong. They aren't blue. They are green, a beautiful, striking shade of green that shines brightly even in the dim lights. Her scrutiny makes me slightly uncomfortable, like she sees more than I want her to see.

  I take her hand, push the door open, and walk in. Shutting the door behind us, I feel as if I'm closing the door on a different chapter in my life. Just this once, tonight, I'm going to take what I want and get as far away from myself as I can.

  We stand, facing each other for several intense moments, our eyes locked in a battle of their own. I study her face, taking in the light scent of her perfume, and realize just how beautiful she really is. Wild. Sexy. Real.

  We reach for other so quickly, it's hard to tell who moved first. Our bodies collide in a tangle of parts. My hands wrap around her waist just as her fingers reach for each side of my collar, pulling my face down to hers. The instant our mouths crash together, I'm flooded with intense desire, the need to touch her and to feel her touch. To get so lost in her that no one else exists.

  I close my eyes, absorbing the moment. My ears are filled with her panting, her chest heaving against mine as our movements grow more frenzied. I nudge her long legs apart with my knee, drawing her closer to me, and the heat of her body ignites a fire inside me. I run my hands up and down her back, settling on her ass- nice, round, and a perfect handful. When I roll my hips into hers, she closes her eyes and moans against my mouth, her hips bucking against me. I reach for the hem of her shirt, and as I push it up, she wrenches her mouth from mine, raising her arms over her head, allowing me to pull it up and off. Her chest rises and falls rapidly as she takes deep breaths, her eyes searching mine. My heart pounds against my ribs, thudding in time with my pulsing erection. She kicks off her boots, one at a time, pushing them away with her foot. She licks her lips, her heated gaze still on me.

  "Be naughty again." Her voice is breathless, heady, and sexy as hell. Without hesitation, I fall to my knees and slide her skirt down her legs. I reach for her ankle, lifting it to my lips as I release it from her skirt. After doing the same with the other, I rise slowly, trailing my hands up her calves and thighs, coming to rest on her waist. She grasps my shirt and tugs it up. I take it from her hands and pull it over my head. She quickly moves on, attacking the button of my shorts, and her hands grazing the sensitive skin of my abdomen. My shorts fall to the ground, and I reach for my boxers, sliding them over my hips.

  Finally, she stands before me, with only one skimpy strip of material between us. For just a second, I hesitate. I've never taken a girl for pure pleasure, with no feelings involved, and I'm a little unsure of what to do. In that moment of hesitation, she reacts by jumping into my arms so suddenly I stumble backwards, clutching her to me as we fall onto the bed.

  And then, I forget everything else. Her mouth speaks to me louder than any words she could say, and her body makes me forget more than I care to remember. Straddling my hips, she sits up, giving me an unrestricted view of her perfect body. My hands clutch her thighs tightly, and she sits up on me, her hands on my shoulders. Her chest rises and falls heavily, rapidly, and for a moment, I think she's going to stop. Instead, she holds up a condom, opening it and sliding it down my erection. A girl has never done that before, and it's quite possibly the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

  I lean back, my hands falling to my sides on the mattress, as I give her the option to stop. I relinquish control to her, and even though I can't explain it, I feel like that's what she needs. Closing her eyes, she takes several deep breaths. Her whispered words sound loud in the quiet of the room. "I liked naughty better."

  In a flash, I sit up and flip her onto her back. Reaching for her thong, I slide it down her thighs and off her feet, throwing it to the floor. Our movements grow more frenzied, her hands, my hands, touching, grasping each other. It's hard to tell who's touching who, our mouths stealing the breath from each other. I feel a need, a burning, compulsive need, to be inside her. When her legs fall open, her tongue entangling with mine, I plunge into her. Hard. Relentless.

  "Like this? Is this what you like?" I'm not a dirty talker, but I find this oddly exhilarating, freeing.

  "Yes. Just like that," she gasps, her hands finding their way to the back of my neck, her nails biting into the sensitive skin there. I push my tongue into her mouth, my hips pounding faster, harder. She lifts her legs, wrapping them around my waist, as she draws me deeper into her, so deep, I feel myself getting lost. Reality slips further and further away. From the first time I saw her, I knew it would be just like this. I knew I'd get lost in her, all of me in all of her.

  When I feel her tighten around me, I pull back. I want to see her face when she loses control. She gasps, her eyes widening in... surprise? Panic? As her body clenches around me, I let myself go. The frustration of the last few months seeps out of me, and for just this moment, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

  I collapse on top of her, her legs still wrapped around me, as I support my weight on my elbows. I lower my forehead to rest against hers as my pulse races and blood rushes in my ears.

  When I feel her stiffen against me, I lean back, my eyes searching her face. What I find there is the last thing I expected to see. She's crying. Just two small tears. They roll slowly down her cheek, and a wave of guilt hits me swift and strong.

  "What's wrong? I didn't mean to-"

  "No. I'm, uh, just... umm, can you just give me a minute?" Her hands push against my chest, and I roll over, allowing her to move. As soon as she sits up, she reaches for her shirt, roughly pulling it over her head before patting the bed frantically, searching for her other clothing.

  I slowly stand, walking to the trash can to dispose of the condom, and turn to her. "What are you doing?" She's acting weird. Aren't girls supposed to want to talk and spoon afterward?

  "Leaving." That's it. No explanation.

  "I don't think so. Liza, I can get dressed and drive you home, but you aren't going anywhere by yourself." I take a deep breath and exhale loudly, running a hand over my head. I'm not sure how this is supposed to work. "Look, I'd rather you stay. I'll take you home in the morning."

  "Yeah, well, that's not how this usually works." Her eyes roam the floor as she fumbles in the darkness, finally finding her skirt. She won't look me in the eye.

  "Come on. It's not like that. Just stay tonight. It's just one night." Something in my voice must convince her because she nods, still not looking at me. Reaching for my boxers, I pull them on, suddenly feeling strange about the whole situation.

  "I leave first thing in the morning. And you stay on your side of the bed."

  "Sure." I get the feeling she's establishing the rules. I'm not sure I like this new territory I've found myself in. When I realize she's watching me, I turn away, searching for a clean t-shirt. I hold it out to her, waiting as she weighs her options. Reluctantly, she reaches for it and turns away from me.

  When I pull back the sheets and slide in, she slowly stands, removing her shirt, and pulls my shirt over her head before lying down beside me. I'm careful
not to touch her as she clings to the side of the mattress, as far away from me as she can possibly get.

  I don't like this at all.

  I lie awake for a long time, my mind working overtime. I'm not sure if she's awake or not, but she doesn't move beside me. Over and over in my mind, I replay everything that led to this moment. No, I'm not talking about tonight. I mean, the last few months, Quincy, Brody. All of it.

  What just happened feels surreal, like a dream, but I listen to the quiet rhythm of Liza's breathing and know that she's very real.

  I feel like I cheated on Quincy, even though that couldn't be farther than the truth.

  These are the truths I know.

  This night was amazing. I'll probably regret it in the morning.

  I can be naughty. I liked being naughty.

  I'm not sure I can be a dickhead.

  Chapter 10

  Eliza

  What the hell was I thinking? I'm in a fraternity house, in bed with a guy I barely know, and I'm not even sure I know my way out of here. I've done a lot of crazy shit, but this- this was just plain stupid.

  I pretended to be asleep last night when I knew he was awake. The whole thing was already awkward anyway, and I sure wasn't going to have a cozy post-coital chat with him.

  I have some ground rules, and just by staying here, I've broken most of them. He's too nice for this. I knew it was a mistake the minute he asked me to spend the night. A hundred bucks says he's never done this before. And dammit, I wasn't supposed to enjoy it.

  The orgasm. Wow. It was amazing, and terrifying, and... not supposed to happen.

  There was also another surprise. Who knew Mr. Nice Guy was hiding all that under that polo shirt and khakis? I liked it. No, I didn't. I so did not like it.

  Slowly, I roll over, devising a plan for escape. Although I know it's daylight, the room is still semi-dark thanks to the blinds on the windows. He's asleep on his stomach, his head resting on his arm. He really is kind of beautiful. Relaxed in sleep, his dimples are in hiding, his long, thick eyelashes resting on his cheek. The sheet is low on his hips, exposing the long, chorded muscles of his back. Yeah, I have to get out of here.

  In the dim light, I find my clothes on the floor, discarded along with his. As quietly as I can, I pull my skirt on, grab my clothes, and slip out the door. I look down at myself, in his t-shirt and my rumpled skirt, and smile. I totally earned this shirt.

  My eyes adjust to the light as I determine the path of least resistance. At the end of the hall is a set of stairs. If I go down the stairs, I don't know what or who I'll run into. My heart races at the thought. At the other end of the hall is a door that looks like it leads outside. It might just be my saving grace. I've never done the 'walk of shame' before, and I don't want to start now.

  I cringe when the door loudly slams behind me. The narrow, steep steps look like those of a fire escape, and I hesitate for a second. But a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

  I take one more look behind me and breathe in a deep, calming breath of air. After making sure it's all clear, I throw my stuff over the side, watching it land in a heap on the ground. I turn around and begin backing down the ladder one foot at a time. This is it. I'm going to fall to my death and embarrass my parents who still think I'm a virgin. They'll never get over it. I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm so stup- Oh, thank God, my feet are on the ground. I will never do this again.

  I turn to grab my clothes and run straight into a brick wall, a hard wall of muscle and strength. And it smells so damn good... so familiar. I close my eyes as my heart jumpstarts itself. When I open them, I find myself face to face with a smiling Declan.

  "Going somewhere, Liza?" My name sounds sexy rolling off his lips, but I hear it there... the smugness.

  "What's it look like?" I stand straight, my chin high.

  "Liza, I distinctly remember telling you I'd take you home, and that's what I plan to do." He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes traveling down my body to my bare feet and back up again. So damn smug.

  "And I remember telling you that's not how this works." Let the record show that no one tells Liza Jane Nichols what to do.

  "Yeah? Well, let's just say I don't play by the rules." He reaches for my hand, and I'm so stunned, I let him take it. I walk fast to keep up with him, hopping on one foot then the other to pull my boots on. He doesn't stop until he's lifting me and shoving me into his 4-Runner.

  He's smiling when he jumps in beside me, and I decide right then that it's no longer adorable. It's... annoying. I take a deep breath and stare out the window as the UT campus rolls by. I feel fear, deep and true, brewing in the pit of my stomach. Just when I feel it overwhelming me, taking control, he interrupts my silent panic attack.

  "You stole my shirt." Shit. He noticed. I turn to him, his dark eyes and smile instantly calming me. It's like he knows what I need, and he's trying to give it to me.

  "I earned it." I smirk. Honestly, I don't know why I kept it. I should've changed back into my clothes, leaving the whole night behind me on the floor of his room, but I didn't just take the shirt. I wanted it.

  "Is that kind of like a consolation prize?" His question is playful, amused even, but it cuts me. No, taking it was just a stupid impulse, and now, I have a silly reminder of something that could never be.

  "Something like that," I croak, my voice cracking. He pulls to a stop in from of my dorm, and before he can say another word, I throw open the door and jump out. Then, I jog up the steps to escape behind the large doors of McCarthy Hall.

  In my room, I peel off my skirt and flop down on the bed. Curling into a ball, I pull the shirt to my face and breathe in the scent I now associate with a tall, dark, and somewhat uptight fraternity boy. I'm going to throw it away.

  Later.

  Maybe tomorrow.

  Chapter 11

  Declan

  Wow.

  I don't know if I should be disappointed in myself or pat myself on the back. The one thing I do know is that I can't stop smiling.

  When I said I had never done anything like that before, I wasn't lying. It wasn't a ploy to get Liza to trust me or to get her naked. It's the truth, and I'm not ashamed of it. Sure, I'm a preacher's kid but that doesn't have anything to do with it. It's just that I've never really been a fan of drunken sex with random girls.

  That sounds so lame. I don't know, maybe I am just a preacher's kid after all.

  But being with Liza like that? Well, that took things to a whole different level. I wish I could stop thinking about it, but I catch myself smiling like the cat that ate the canary. For one brief moment, I was somewhere else. I wasn't marinating in a bath of self-pity or wishing my life away. I was... alive.

  I may not be in love with Liza, but I do feel a connection, something drawing me to her. Maybe it's the way I see my own misery reflected in her eyes or maybe she's just sexy as hell. Either way, I know I have to see her again.

  "You're smiling." I can almost hear my bubble burst. Seth is everywhere I go these days.

  "Doesn't everyone?" I shoot back.

  "Sure. But not you. You've been the no-smiling-est fucker I've known for the better part of a year." He smirks, typical Seth style. "You gonna tell me what's up or am I gonna have to guess?"

  "Who says it has to be anything? Can't a guy just be happy?" Right now, at this very moment, I realize it's true. I'm happier than I have been in a long time. Something deep inside of me awakened after a long, long sleep.

  "This have anything to do with you leaving Bliss with Liza the other night?" Hearing her name brings her face, her eyes to mind. My pulse skips a beat before pounding in my chest as adrenaline rushes through my veins, rendering me speechless. How the hell does he know?

  "Don't know what you're talkin' about." A flash of anger has me on the defensive. I don't even know her, but I've seen and heard enough to know that someone or something has hurt her. I wonder what it would take to hurt a girl like her. Strong, sassy, and mad at the world.


  Never mind. I probably don't want to know.

  "Well, well... You're in luck, buddy, because I know exactly what I'm talkin' about." He taps his temple, a grin spreading across his face. "A little birdie tells me they saw a tall blonde with tattoos shimmy down the fire escape right before you swept her away in your car. Sure sounds like Liza to me. You sure you don't know anything about that?"

  "Nope. Nada." I try not to fall into his trap. I know how he likes to get people riled up just to see how they'll react. Well, I'm not falling for his bullshit.

  "Figured you'd say that. I just gotta know one thing- did you think about Eric?" That smirk. Smug.

  "What about him?" I'm confused, not sure we're even having the same conversation anymore. What does Eric have to do with Liza?

  "Don't pretend like you don't know what I mean." He stops, waiting for me to respond. I don't. "The bet?" And that's all he has to say.

  "Oh, the bet." I cough, choking on my words. I made a bet with Eric that he couldn't go sixty days without sex, and even though he lived through it, I'm not sure he'll ever forgive me. Those sixty days were probably the longest days of his life. Hell, I didn't expect him to actually win.

  "I told you nothing happened," I lie, a completely foreign feeling screwing with my insides. No matter what I say, he's only going to hear what he wants, and I'm never going to tell him the truth. My instinct is to protect Liza.

  "You better hope he never finds out. He'd kick your ass for sure." He laughs at his own joke while I try to hold back my own laughter. He's right. Eric would shit a brick if he knew what I did. I made him wait for Jenna, but I jumped Liza the first chance I got.

  "Then it's a good thing nothing happened." I don't know why, but I just can't talk about it. First and foremost, I'm not that kind of guy. Period. It's disrespectful. Ultimately, as pansy as it sounds, I'm ashamed. I don't have feelings for Liza, but I used her anyway.

  Hi, my name is Declan White, and I'm a preacher's kid.