"Look at me, Jennifer." His voice was gentle but his words were a command.
Jennifer hesitated, but finally raised her eyes to meet his. He reached up with one hand and cupped her face. Jen let out a slow breath at the contact. Without a thought, she nuzzled her cheek closer into his hand and she smiled when Decebel let out a low growl.
"You think to keep yourself from me." It wasn't a question.
Jen didn't deny his words.
"Why?" he asked.
She tried to pull her face from his hand but he didn't allow it.
"I've been thinking – all this time laying in a bed, writhing in pain will cause a girl to reflect on her situation." Jen spoke quickly, worried that if she didn't say it now she wouldn't be able to. Because as she sat here with him so close, his scent surrounding her, her resolve was faltering.
The next words out of her mouth were a punch to his gut and painful enough to rob him of breath.
"I won't complete the mate bond or do the Blood Rites. I can't." Jen's voice wavered she couldn't bring herself to meet Decebel's eyes, instead she stared at the hand he still had on her thigh.
His hand dropped from her face and the coldness that coursed through her from that small action nearly caused her to throw herself in his arms and beg him to still have her. She finally looked up at him and what she found caused her breath to catch.
He growled, "Don't." His eyes were glowing brighter than Jen had ever seen them; his razor sharp claws had descended. "Don't look at me with fear in your eyes. I am your mate. I could no more hurt you than I could kill a child."
Jen realized then that she was speaking with the wolf. Decebel had checked out.
Under his unwavering stare, Jen felt his power rush over her. He was making her submit for the first time. She didn't fight it, but lowered her gaze and bared her neck.
"I won't let you go," Decebel's wolf told her, his voice rough.
"I won't allow either of you to die because of me." A tear slid down Jen's face. She didn't bother to wipe it away as she knew more would follow. Many more.
"That is not your decision to make. You are our mate, we protect you."
Jen shook her head and her shoulders shook with sobs. She didn't know how to handle the emotions coursing through her. She usually kept the hysterics in check, but lately there seemed to be a lot of things that, simply put, were beyond her tough girl exterior. No amount of telling herself to suck it up and deal with it like a big girl could've stopped the pain from ripping through her. It pushed the sorrow from her very pores.
She felt the bed sink in under his weight as he sat down next to her. To her surprise, he pulled her into his lap. That undid her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her face against it. When she heard soft words spoken in Romanian, she knew her man was back.
Jen pulled away to look at his face. Okay, so the wolf had only retreated a little – his eyes still glowed. But it was obvious Decebel had pulled himself together.
"Why do you put yourself through this, baby?" Decebel's hand slipped under the hem of her shirt to rub her back. Skin to skin touch was one of the most vital ways to calm a wolf. Jen leaned into his touch and hid her face from the piercing amber eyes that saw too much.
"We've known each other five months, Decebel. In those five months I've nearly died three times."
Decebel growled and pulled her tighter against his chest, causing her to wince in pain, but she refused to make a sound that would have him loosen his hold.
"If we had been bonded, you would have died with me. I can't accept that."
"You are an Alpha," he told her. "It is in your nature to protect. I can understand that, Jennifer. But you don't protect me. That is not your job."
"I disagree," Jen started.
"You can disagree all you like. Your job is to love me, to pull me and my wolf away from the darkness that would make us the most lethal killers. I don't need your protection, love, I need your light. I need to feel your touch on my skin for yours alone calms my wolf. I need your scent enveloping my body. I need your blood running through me." Decebel tilted Jennifer's head up so he could look into her shining blue eyes. "My wolf needs you to play with us, to challenge us. There are times when we need you to submit, and times when you are the last person we would want to submit to us. You are my beloved and beloved to my wolf. You are my mate, the other half of my soul. You are the only thing that belongs to me and with me and no other. For me, there is no life without you." He watched as tears fell from his love's eyes, and fear, pain, and love pulsed behind them.
"Bond or not, Blood Rites or not, when you leave this world I will follow."
Jen cried harder at his declaration, her forehead falling to his chest.
"Could you live your life without me in it?" he asked her gently.
Her head snapped up. "No," she said firmly.
"Then what makes you think I can live without you?"
Decebel saw that his words were finally getting through his mate's thick head, through her firm determination.
"Jennifer." Her name was a whisper on his lips
She looked at his face, his glowing eyes, his strong jaw, his sensual lips. He was hers. Jen had realized as she listened to him reason with her that she would never be able to live this life and not be bound to him. The very idea was tearing her to shreds. As she began to let go of that choice she felt her breathing ease. The turmoil in her was beginning to calm.
"I want you." He spoke the words he had spoken to her what seemed ages ago in an indoor garden standing in a gazebo. "I've waited more than a century for you."
Jen gasped as he lifted the hem of her shirt, revealing the dark tattoo-like marks that matched his own. His fingers traced the marks as he said, "You bear marks that no other ever will – marks that say you're mine. There is no other who will take the emptiness from me and no other who can love you as I will. I. Want. You."
Jen twisted in his lap and placed her hands on either side of his face. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at her destiny. "And so you will have me," she whispered against his lips.
Her lips pressed firmly to his as he wrapped one arm around her waist. With the other, he cupped the nape of her neck as if to keep her from leaving him ever again.
Decebel pulled his lips away long enough to say, "Tonight. Tonight we finish this."
Jen grinned against his lips, feeling his urgency build.
"Eager much?" she asked with a smile that almost reached her eyes.
"You have no idea," he whispered in her ear, bringing goosebumps to her skin.
Jen closed her eyes and took slow, deep breaths as she allowed his breath, his kiss, his touch to ease away the pain she'd brought upon herself.
Decebel pulled back and placed his forehead against hers, breathing hard. "I will never let you go."
"As if you would ever want to," she teased, regaining the humor that brought him so much joy. "There is all kinds of awesomeness going on here."
Decebel growled. "Baby, I think it's time you shared the awesomeness." His voice was a sensual caress.
Jen shivered. "The ceremony will be tonight?"
He nodded once in confirmation.
"So tonight I'm to spread the love, so to speak?"
Decebel grinned a wolf's smile and another shiver ran through her body. " As much as I want that, you need to heal. Tonight we will bond and do the Blood Rites, I will make you mine. But our consummation will have to wait."
Jen chuckled.
"That makes you laugh?" he asked, taken aback.
"Did you seriously just say consummation?"
"Disrespectful woman," Decebel growled as he gently nipped her bottom lip. That brought a shiver of awareness at the closeness of their bodies, which brought on another giggle from Jen.
"Now what's funny?" Decebel raised a single eyebrow at her.
She shook her head. "Sorry, I was just thinking it's going to piss Sally off that she'll be the only one left in the sexual frustration club."
Decebel laughed. "Oh, I don't know about that. Costin looks more than on his way to becoming a member."
Decebel stood and placed her back on the bed. He leaned down and kissed her one last time as Jennifer Adams. For their next kiss would be as mates and, little did she know, as husband and wife.
Decebel grinned to himself at that thought. It was good to keep his little spitfire of a mate on her toes, goodness knows she was going to constantly give him a run for his money.
"You have two hours to prepare. I'm sending Sally and Jacque in here to help you. I realize this is short notice, so don't stress. The only thing I care to hear from your mouth is yes. No more thinking, Jennifer." Decebel stared so deeply into her eyes she swore he could see her soul.
Jennifer smiled sweetly and said in her most mocking voice, "One of these days, fur ball, you and me are going to tango and you are going to wish – however briefly – that I had said no."
Decebel stood and rolled his shoulders back, his six foot four inch frame towering over her. He bared his teeth at her, canines lengthened. "I guess I haven't told you yet just how much I like dancing with you, and even you should know that there is no greater turn on than an Alpha's mate challenging him. So if I ever wish that you had said no, then, baby, it's only because it's my favorite form of foreplay."
Jen's mouth dropped open at his statement. She didn't miss the smug look in his eyes that said he knew he had rendered her speechless. And so far he was the only person, wolf, whatever, on earth capable of doing that to her. And here she was, going to tie herself to him forever. She watched as he strutted out of her room, a proud peacock pleased that he had stunned his mate.
Jacque and Sally walked in only moments after Decebel had left. She could see him standing in the other room. He made sure she was never out of his line of sight and though part of her wanted to roll her eyes at his protectiveness, the other part basked in his attention and care.
She still had not composed herself when her two friends approached her bed.
"Okay, I have got to know what he said to put that look on your face." Sally's eyebrows were raised clear to her hairline as she looked at Jen.
That snapped Jen out of her temporary stupor.
"Get used to disappointment, Sally girl. I will never repeat what that pervert just said to me."
Jacque laughed." Oh, no." She climbed onto the foot of Jen's bed and laid out on her side. "If you think he's perverted now, just wait until the physical aspect of your relationship has a big, fat green light. I swear, having a mental link to your mate is like having front row tickets to a never-ending porno."
Now it was Sally's turn to drop her jaw and turn all shades of red. Jen couldn't help the bark of laughter that forced its way out despite her groan of pain afterward.
"How would you know? You've never seen a porno." Jen snorted.
"Well, I can assure you that it's not an after school special running through my mate's head 95 percent of the time."
Sally squeaked, "95?"
"Chillax, healer. I think you have a little time before your wolf claims you." The words were out of Jen's mouth before she could stop them. A deer in the headlights had nothing on the look on Jen's face.
Sally and Jacque spoke at the same time, "What?"
Jen backpedaled as quickly as she could. "I don't mean a fur ball – I just mean, you know, a guy. Who are all dogs so might as well call your future man a wolf. It was just an expression, force of habit since we are constantly surrounded by unnaturally fine, too good looking for their own good, flea-infested fur balls." Jen took a deep breath. "So, can we please get back to me and getting me ready to one of the said fur balls?"
Sally looked like she wanted to protest but Jacque quickly butted in, all the while giving Jen a “this conversation is not over” glare.
Chapter 20
Desdemona rarely lost her temper, but this was one of those rare moments. She had felt the curse break, so powerful that it had knocked her on her back. When she stood up her eyes were swirling like the sea in a storm and her hair whipped around her. A mutt had bested her. She grabbed the first thing she could reach and hurled it at the wall. A jar of goat hearts – no big loss, those were a dime a dozen.
She took several deep breaths, attempting to regroup. She would not let her emotions control her. Emotions were weakness, and there was no room for weakness in her black heart.
Someone had to be helping the wolves. There was no way they were more powerful than she, and no way they would have known what to look for in order to break the curse unless given a push in the right direction.
"So it seems the Fae have come out of hiding." A wicked smile crossed her beautiful, cruel face. "I wonder if they remember how to play. I dare say they will not find me the easy prey I once was." Mona was speaking into the wind, fueling her will, her anger, and the wrath she would rain down on those who attempted to stand against her. "Perizada," she spoke on the breeze. "You think I don't know that you are assisting the wolves? You think you can hide from me? Hear me now, Fae of old. I will tear your heart from your chest and feast on it while it still beats."
The laugh that poured from her chest caused grass to wither and animals to hide from the evil flowing from her mouth out into the night.
"Well, the first thing you need to do is write your vows." Jacque handed Jen a pen and paper .
"Come again?" Jen raised her eyebrows at Jacque.
"You remember Fane and I reciting the ones we had written along with the traditional ceremonial vows, don't you? Were you paying attention at all at my bonding?"
Jen tried to think back to that night and remembered being somewhat distracted by a certain, brooding wolf.
"I might have been a tad preoccupied," Jen confessed, honest without remorse.
When Jacque and Sally simply stared at her as she held the pen and paper, her eyes bounced from one to the other. "What?"
"Get to writing, you only have two hours and we still need to get you all cleaned up and beautified."
Jen blew out a deep breath, then stared at the blank piece of paper. Vows, she thought. What am I vowing exactly? Jen closed her eyes and thought about when she had finally seen recognition in Decebel's eyes – the moment she'd realized he remembered her she had lost all control. Every bit of anger, fear, pain, love, relief, and joy had wracked her body.
Now she knew what she needed to say.
One hour and fifty minutes later…
Jen stood with the assistance of Jacque and Sally, and stared at herself in the mirror.
"I'm not going out there like this." The look on her face and the steel in her voice made it very clear that someone was going to have to drag her out of that bathroom.
"I look like Mary-Kate Olsen meets Jennifer Love Hewitt."
"Okay, I understand the Mary-Kate reference, " Sally's brow furrowed, “'cause you've lost a lot of weight, but I don't get Jennifer Love."
Jen rolled her eyes. "You see how skinny I am?"
Sally nodded.
"Okay, well look me up and down and tell me which of these things is not like the other?"
Sally's eyes scanned Jen over and over and her face was still blank. Jen blew out an exasperated breath. "Boobs, Sal. I still have big boobs," she said dryly.
Sally's face lit up like a light bulb had gone on. "Got it. Skinny like Mary-Kate, but stacked like Jennifer. Sorry, I kind of took the steam out of that, huh?"
"Well, when you have to explain the sarcasm then, yes, it sort of loses it's umph. No worries, I've got plenty more to go around."
Jen looked again in the mirror at the simple black dress that, from the front, was deceivingly modest. But the back, well, there wasn't one. It was open clear down to just above indecent. Peri had brought it to her and when she put it on the Fae snickered. When Jen turned in a circle to see why the woman was snickering she nearly choked. Not only was it backless, but it scooped in just a little on the sides, enough to show a few of the swirling marks that branded h
er right side. Decebel was going to be pissed. And that thought brightened Jen right up.
"Why are you grinning like the Cheshire cat?" Jacque asked as her eyes narrowed.
Jen raised her arm slightly on her right side so Jacque could see the marks peeking out.
Jacque rolled her eyes. "You really do want him to have a coronary, don’t you?"
Jen shrugged her shoulders. "Serves him right for being a punk earlier. I can't let him think that just because I'm bonding with him I will suddenly be this little submissive chick who is like, 'yes, sir' and 'no, sir'. He needs to understand that it will still be, 'let me open the door for you, sir, since you can't walk straight because I kicked you in the -"
"That's enough ranting, Jen, we get it." Jacque chuckled. "He has no clue what he's in for."
"If he did he'd be wishing his memory had never returned," Jen joked.
Jacque's face smoothed out and intensity filled her eyes. "Are you ready?" she asked Jen.
Jen thought about it for less than a second. "I've been ready for him since before I was born. I was created for him."
Jacque smiled. "I love it when I get to see these rare glimpses of the softy that's under all that nympho tough girl crap."
Jen rolled her eyes at her red-headed friend. "If you bust out in 'Lean On Me', I swear I will take what little energy I have and punch you in the eye."
Jacque tsked at her friend as she began to drag her out of the room. "My, my, Jennifer Adams."
"I know, my bitchiness knows no bounds."
"I was going to say I think you're hungry and sexually frustrated, but if you want to go with that then I'm down."
Jen stopped dead when she saw Decebel standing across the open room in front of a large fireplace. She didn't notice Cynthia, Crina, and Alina standing to her left or Sally and Jacque to her right. She didn't see Fane, Costin or Sorin sitting in various chairs around the room, watching, waiting. She didn't even notice the two beautiful Fae that stood to next to the fireplace.
He was standing there, talking to Vasile, when all of the sudden he stopped, closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply through his nose. His head turned slowly, straight toward her, and when he stopped, his eyes snapped open and met her stare. For a moment no one else in the room existed. It was simply Jen and Decebel. Neither of them moved. They simply stared, taking each other in, memorizing every detail like it could be the last time they would see each other. As her gaze wandered down his body, she noted that he wore a black v-neck sweater that formed tightly to his powerful shoulders and chest. The sleeves were pushed up slightly, revealing muscular forearms. He wore grey slacks that appeared to be tailored and black dress shoes. He could have just walked off a photo shoot for GQ. What made him more attractive was that he had no clue just how ruggedly handsome he really was.
Out Of The Dark (The Grey Wolves Series) Page 17
