by Joan Jonker
Chapter Eleven
Molly pushed her plate away, licked her lips and leaned her elbows on the table. ‘Did yer all enjoy that?’
There were murmurs of approval all round. ‘Yer can’t beat a Hanley’s meat pie,’ Jack said, to nods from the children. ‘I don’t care what anyone says.’
‘Did they taste all right to yer?’ Molly asked. ‘I mean, there wasn’t a funny taste to them, as though the meat was off?’
There was puzzlement in the glances being exchanged. ‘Tasted all right to me, love,’ Jack said. ‘There was nowt wrong with the meat.’
‘Yer shouldn’t have eaten it if yer thought it was off, Mam!’ Tommy grinned. ‘Yer should have passed it over to me because after the lousy food we got in the army, my tummy will accept anything I put down it.’
‘Oh, I didn’t think it tasted off.’ Molly was dying to laugh as the events of the morning flashed through her mind. ‘It’s just that they were so begrudged I didn’t expect them to taste as good as usual. And then there was the curse yer Auntie Nellie put on them.’
‘Oh, aye, what’s she been up to now?’ When Jack leaned forward, the three girls and Tommy followed suit. ‘Another of her mad capers, eh?’
Molly started with the early-morning visit to Miss Clegg’s, then went right through to her parting with her neighbour. All she left out was the bit about the woman in number sixteen. That wasn’t for young ears and would be told to Jack later, when they were alone. ‘So when I left me mate, she was sitting in her fireside chair, looking very sorry for herself with her hand all wrapped in bandages.’
‘Is it very sore, Mam?’ Jill asked, concern written on her face.
‘Yes it is, sunshine, she must be in pain. I can’t understand why she didn’t tell us last night, so I could have cleaned it up and covered it with a piece of sheet or something.’
‘But you said she made a joke of it,’ Ruthie said. ‘How could she laugh if she was in pain?’
‘Because that’s the way she is! I’m convinced that even when she’s on her deathbed, Nellie will still find something to laugh at. I told her that, and she said if she dies with a smile on her face, Saint Peter was bound to find her a seat on the front row. “They don’t like miserable buggers in heaven, girl, they like happy souls”. That’s what she said.’
Tommy was convulsed with laughter. ‘Oh, that’s a smasher! I’ll have to remember to tell Rosie that one.’
‘I wouldn’t tell yer nan, son,’ Molly said. ‘I’ve got a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate the word bugger being used in the same sentence as Saint Peter.’
‘How is Auntie Nellie going to manage the housework with her hand bandaged?’ Doreen wanted to know. ‘She won’t be able to put it in water.’
‘Nellie in pain is just as crafty as Nellie not in pain,’ Molly chuckled. ‘She’s worked it out to a fine art. During the day, I do what she can’t manage, then when the family come home they take over. I bet yer any money that right now she’s sitting there like Lady Muck, nursing her hand while everyone waits on her.’
‘Won’t she be coming down tonight, then?’ Jill asked. ‘It won’t be the same without her.’
‘Of course she’ll be down! She’ll want to know how yer get on with Father Kelly, and she’d go mad if I was told the news five minutes before her.’
‘Why don’t we play a joke on her?’ Jack asked. ‘Me and Tommy could call for her and pretend we’ve come to carry her down between us.’
‘Ooh, yeah!’ Tommy was all for it. ‘She’ll see the funny side of that!’
‘Don’t kid yerself, son.’ Molly sounded very definite. ‘She’ll tell yer to sod off.’
But Molly was wrong. For when Jack and his son arrived at the McDonoughs’, and said they’d come to give her a chair-lift down to their house, Nellie didn’t turn a hair. She knew it was a joke, and was bursting with laughter inside, but decided to play them at their own game. ‘That’s real thoughtful of yer, Jack. Don’t yer think so, George?’
George was flummoxed. When he’d opened the front door, Jack had whispered that him and Tommy were going to play a joke on his wife. But they didn’t know her as well as he did. And he was both amused and afraid that the joke was going to backfire. Very few people got the better of Nellie, and from where he stood, he reckoned Jack and Tommy were going to be taken up on their offer. Oh, this was something he had to see. ‘I agree, love, that it’s real thoughtful of them. I’d offer meself, but I don’t want to put their noses out of joint.’ No, thought George, finding the situation hilarious, but Nellie will probably put their backs out of joint. After all, at eighteen stone, she was no lightweight.
‘How do yer intend carrying me, Jack?’ Nellie asked. ‘Are you making a chair with yer hands like we used to do when we were kids, or are yer going to carry me on one of the wooden chairs?’
Jack glanced at Tommy and raised his brows. He would have felt easier if Nellie had told them to sod off. Instead it appeared the joke was on them. But no, she wasn’t serious, she couldn’t be! She was just having them on. ‘Whichever way yer want it, Nellie! Your wish is our command.’
After pretending to give it some consideration, Nellie then apparently came to a decision. ‘I think I’d prefer yer to carry me. I wouldn’t want the chair legs to get in yer way and trip yer up, ’cos then we’d have two invalids.’ Using her good hand, she pushed herself up from the chair. ‘I’m ready when you are.’
When Tommy saw the look of disbelief on his father’s face he almost burst out laughing. Oh, how they’d had the tables turned on them. But it was their own fault, they should have known better. ‘Here goes, Dad, give us yer hands.’
‘Come on, love,’ George said. ‘I’ll help yer so yer don’t fall backwards.’
‘I’m not going to fall backwards, light of my life, ’cos I’m going to put me arms around their necks.’
When Nellie lowered herself on to the cradle made by their hands, Jack thought his arms were being pulled out of their sockets. And when her arm went around his neck he waited to hear the sound of it snapping.
How Nellie contained her laughter she would never know. But contain it she did. ‘D’yer know, it’s really comfortable! Much softer than that couch of ours, with the springs sticking in yer backside.’
George decided to take on the role of supervisor. ‘Will yer manage to get through the door, Jack?’
‘We’ll go out sideways,’ Jack panted, knowing there was no going back now. They’d carry Nellie to their house even if he and Tommy got killed in the process. ‘You lead the way, son.’
‘I’ll run and knock on yer door,’ George said. ‘’Cos you’ll never manage it.’
They were in the hall when Lily came tripping down the stairs, dressed ready to go out. ‘What on earth is going on?’
Her father gave her a broad wink. ‘The lads offered to give yer mam a lift down to the Bennetts’, seeing as she’s got a bad hand.’
Lily’s hand flew to her mouth to stop herself from laughing. I wouldn’t miss this for the world, she thought, as she followed their slow and awkward progress. Len will just have to wait if I’m a few minutes late.
George gave a loud rat-tat on the knocker, then stepped back. Never in his life had he seen anything so funny. Nellie was sitting looking like a queen, enjoying every minute of it, while Jack and Tommy were red in the face, bent under her weight.
When Molly opened the door she doubled up. ‘Oh, my God, will yer look at the state of them!’ Between gasps, she stuttered, ‘I did tell yer, but yer wouldn’t take no notice of me.’
Molly’s laughter brought Jill, Doreen and Ruthie to the door. And their shrieks of hilarity were joined by George and Lily’s. The only one who had a straight face was Nellie. And the two men carrying her, of course. They couldn’t have raised a smile to save their lives.
‘Put me down, yer silly pair of buggers.’ Nellie tapped each of them on the shoulder. And when she was lowered, and on firm ground, she shook her head at them. ‘Tha
t’ll teach yer to try and trick an old hand like me.’ Then her face creased and her whole body shook as the pent-up laughter erupted.
‘Come on in, ’ Molly said, ‘before the whole street is out to see what’s going on.’ She beckoned to Jack and Tommy. ‘Will you two stop holding hands!’
Tommy squeezed his father’s hand. ‘We can’t, Mam, they’re numb.’
‘Don’t be acting the goat, come on in.’
‘He’s right, love,’ Jack said. ‘I’ve got no felling in me hands. Come down and massage them for us to get the circulation going.’
Before Molly could step down on to the pavement, Nellie drew her good arm back, and then, with all her weight behind it, swung it forward under the men’s joined hands, separating them in a flash. ‘There yer are, that’s better than a massage any day. Much quicker and far less painful.’
‘I wouldn’t say it was less painful, Nellie.’ Jack was beginning to feel better now he knew his arms were still in their sockets and his neck wasn’t broken. ‘Yer pack a powerful punch.’
‘Yer asked for it, yer stupid articles. Massage, indeed! Numb, indeed! The only thing numb is yer ruddy brains! Fancy thinking yer could get away with teaching an old dog like me new tricks.’
‘For crying out loud, will yer come into the house?’ Molly was getting impatient. ‘Or shall I bring the table and chairs out into the street?’
Nellie drew herself up to her full height. ‘No need to get sarky, girl, just because your feller carried me in his arms. Jealousy gets yer nowhere.’
‘Get in before I shut the door on yer.’ Molly noticed Lily hugging her handbag to her chest and smiling. ‘Are yer coming in, sunshine?’
‘No, Mrs B. I’m meeting Len and I’m late as it is. But I wouldn’t have missed that for a big clock. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.’
‘Life is never dull where yer mam is, Lily, yer should know that by now. I know I’d be lost without her.’
‘We all would, Mrs B. No one’s allowed to have a long face in our house when me mam’s around. And our Steve and Paul take after her, so there’s never a dull moment. Me and me dad are the quiet ones, we just sit back and let them entertain us.’
‘Well, yer can’t ask for more than that, can yer? Now you poppy off, sunshine, and don’t keep yer boyfriend waiting. Are yer going to the flicks?’
‘More than likely, there’s not much else to do. Anyway, I’ll see yer. Ta-ra for now.’
‘Ta-ra, sunshine, enjoy yourself.’
Lily walked quickly, her high heels clicking on the paving stones. She thought about telling Len what had made her late, but dismissed the idea. He wouldn’t see the funny side, and would say they were barmy. He certainly hadn’t been blessed with a sense of humour, and besides, she knew there was no love lost between him and her mother. She had hoped that would change as he got to know her family better, but the way things were going he’d never get to know them. When he did call for her, he couldn’t get out of the house quick enough. And when she suggested it was time she met his parents, he shied away from that, as well. She was going to have to be firm with him, otherwise she’d be walking down the aisle at her wedding a bent, frail, white-haired old lady.
Len moved away from the wall when he saw Lily hurrying towards him. ‘Late again, Lily, it’s getting to be a habit.’
She looked at him and noted his sulky expression. It’s time to start putting my foot down right now, she thought. ‘The Bennetts were playing a trick on me mam, and it was so funny I stayed to see how it ended.’
‘That’s a good excuse, I must say! It seems to me that all your family and friends do is play tricks on each other. They want to try growing up.’
‘Not for my money they don’t! I wouldn’t want them any other way, I love them just as they are. I’d rather see someone with a smile on their face than a scowl.’
‘Is that a dig at me?’
‘If the cap fits, Len, then wear it! I’m getting a bit fed-up with meeting outside, and that’s the truth. Yer won’t come to our house and yer won’t take me to yours. I’m beginning to wonder whether we’re courting for real, or just messing around.’
‘I’m certainly not messing around! As far as I’m concerned, you’re my girl. I wouldn’t have written to yer every week while I was overseas if I wasn’t serious, would I?’
‘Then why won’t yer take me to meet your parents?’
‘I will take yer, but just give me more time. I’ve told yer what me parents are like, they’re very strict and they don’t like strangers. When I’ve been settled back at work for a while and have got some money in me pocket, I’ll feel more secure and independent. Then I won’t care what they say or think.’
‘Do they even know yer’ve got a girlfriend?’
‘They must do, seeing as I’m out nearly every night. But they’re not the type yer can talk to, so I don’t tell them much.’ Len scanned the road on both sides then took her arm. ‘Come on, let’s go in or the big picture will have started.’
Lily pushed his hand away and stood in front of him. ‘Yer said yer want more time – how much more time?’
‘Another couple of months, that’s all.’ Len could tell he would have to offer something or he’d be getting his marching orders. ‘Then when I’m able to start saving, we can talk about getting married, eh?’
A tiny voice in Lily’s head told her she was a sucker for falling for it again. But she was in love with him and ignored the warning. ‘OK, a couple of months, Len, but that’s all.’
He paid her a lot of attention on the back row of the stalls, with his arm around her shoulders and a hand clasped in his. ‘Give us a kiss.’ When Lily lifted her head and kissed him briefly on the lips, he asked, ‘What sort of a kiss d’yer call that?’
‘I want to watch Franchot Tone, he’s me very favourite film star. I’ll give yer a proper kiss later.’
Len kept her to her word. They were passing an entry when he pulled her into the darkness. ‘Yer promised me a proper kiss, so how about it?’
Lily put her arms around his neck. ‘Yer can have two for being a good boy.’
The first kiss was warm with just a hint of passion, and Lily felt a thrill run down her spine. But when his lips claimed hers for the second kiss, they were hard and bruising, and his tongue came out to try and force her mouth open. And he moved his hands upwards from her waist to cup her breasts. Lily was startled and used all her strength to push him away. ‘What the hell d’yer think ye’re doing, Len Lofthouse!’
‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t help meself. I think about yer in bed every night, Lily, and I can’t wait for the day when yer’ll be mine. I love yer so much I want to possess yer.’
‘What yer want and what yer’ll get are two different things, Len! I’m not the sort of girl who is free with her favours, so don’t ever dare try anything like that again.’
‘I lost me head, Lily, and I’ve said I’m sorry! I’m crazy about yer, and if yer felt the same way about me, yer’d understand.’
‘That’s where ye’re wrong, ’cos I don’t think on the same lines as you. Even if I was madly in love with yer, yer wouldn’t get what you’re after. The first man that lays a hand on me will be the man who’s put a wedding ring on me finger. And if you don’t have enough will-power to respect me wishes, then you’re not the man for me.’
‘I am the man for you, Lily, I swear it! Ever since I laid eyes on yer at the dance in Blair Hall, I knew we were meant for each other. I lost control of meself before and I’m sorry, but it only happened because I love yer so much.’
‘I’ll let yer off this time, Len, but if it happens again I’ll be telling yer to get on yer bike.’
‘It won’t happen again, I promise.’ Len pulled her close and kissed her temple. ‘As soon as I’ve bought meself some new clothes, I’ll start saving to get married. Would yer like that?’
Lily believed him because she wanted to believe him. ‘Yes, I’d like that very much.’
‘We’ll have a little house of our own and I’ll have you to come home to every night.’ In his mind he added, ‘A little house as far away from Liverpool as possible.’ He led her to the top of the entry, and on the pretext of straightening his tie stopped to glance quickly up and down the main road. Then, satisfied he saw no one he recognised, he took Lily’s elbow and they began walking.
Len would have recognised the person who stepped from the darkness of the entry opposite. A person who had watched the couple going into the picture-house and had returned when they knew the second house would be letting out. It was someone with determination and patience, who, keeping close to the wall, followed them to the top of Lily’s street. Then, satisfied that after many nights of keeping watch, their mission had finally been accomplished, they turned and walked back the way they’d come.
Molly’s eyes and voice were eager. ‘How did yer get on with Father Kelly?’
Doreen adopted a haughty air as she flounced towards the table. ‘Your two daughters are to be married on the second Saturday in July, at two o’clock.’
‘The banns will be read out a few weeks before then,’ Jill said, her hand gripping Steve’s. ‘That’s so anyone who knows of any reason why we can’t get married, can come forward.’ She giggled. ‘Steve swears he’s never been married before.’
Nellie had been doing some mental arithmetic and gave Molly a dig in the ribs. ‘That’s about ten weeks off, girl, so it gives yer a bit more breathing space.’
‘Father Kelly couldn’t fit us in before, ’cos they’re fully booked for every Saturday until then. A Friday would have been fine, but that would mean everyone taking a day off work.’
‘Yer couldn’t expect them to do that, sunshine, not when they’re counting their pennies.’ Molly felt relieved. It meant they had an extra three weeks to get the money together. ‘Now if I’m to look for a hall and caterers, I’ll have to know how many people are coming. So as I’ve got me pencil and a piece of paper to hand, can we start on a list? Nellie, we’ll start off with your lot first.’
