by Joan Jonker
‘That’s all right, girl. Ye’re bound to be inviting Corker in for a cup of tea, seeing as he’s come home to an empty house, with Ellen at work and the children at work or school. So I might as well eat me butties in your house.’
Corker’s head fell back and his throaty chuckle filled the air. ‘Nothing’s changed, has it? The day I left, you two were going at each other hammer and tongs. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was still the same argument!’
‘Huh!’ Nellie’s bosom was hitched and she adopted her haughty expression. Well, as haughty as a four foot ten woman can give while gazing up at a six foot five man. ‘Yer must think we lead a very dull life, Jimmy Corkhill. Well, for your information, me and me mate change our argument every day, don’t we, girl? In fact, sometimes three times a day.’
‘But we only ever come to blows once a day, Corker,’ Molly said. ‘I’d hate yer to think that me and Nellie are always rolling our sleeves up to knock spots off each other.’
‘I’d not be thinking that in a million years, Molly, me darlin’. Not about two sweet, gentle, ladylike women as yerselves.’
Nellie touched his arm. ‘Before I invite yer into Molly’s house for a drink, I’ve got a bone to pick with yer. And I’m going to stand on the top step to do it so me eyes are on a level with yours. That way yer don’t have an advantage over me.’ Nellie waddled to the steps, held on to the wall for support, and when she was standing in the hall, she turned to face him. ‘How come, Corker, that every time yer come home yer tell Molly how pretty she is, but yer never say a dickie-bird to me?’
Blue eyes twinkled in the weatherbeaten face as the big man stroked his beard. ‘I didn’t think yer needed telling, Nellie. I thought yer knew how pretty yer are.’
Every part of Nellie’s body grew in stature, except her chins. They were on the alert to see which way they were going. ‘Now that’s very nice of yer, Corker, and I’m beholden to yer. I won’t tell Ellen what yer said in case she gets jealous. So yer’ve no need to worry, I’m not a clat-tale-tit like someone I know who is standing not a million miles away from us right now. And she’s got such a miserable gob on her, I’m surprised the cat hasn’t packed its bags and made for pastures new.’
Corker’s bushy eyebrows shot up. ‘Have yer got yerself a cat, Molly?’
‘Have I hellslike! Take no notice of her! Don’t yer think I’ve got enough to put up with, with her? And has she ever told yer that she got a cat once, and it left home after a week because she was giving it a dog’s life!’
The howls of laughter reached the ears of Miss Clegg, and she came to the window to watch. She had no idea what had been said to make the three people on the opposite side of the street double up with laughter, but it was infectious and she laughed with them. And when she returned to her rocking chair she was still smiling and the day seemed brighter.
Molly wiped her tears away with the corner of her pinny. ‘A good laugh is better than a kick up the backside any day, isn’t it, Corker?’
‘I miss you two when I’m away. Oh, we have many a laugh on the ship, but it’s not quite the same. Watching and listening to you, is like sitting in the Astoria laughing me head off at Laurel and Hardy.’
Nellie, who had taken over tenancy of Molly’s front step, her frame filling the doorway, said, ‘Come on in, Corker, and I’ll tell yer a few jokes while me mate is making yer a pot of tea and some sandwiches for me.’
‘If you don’t get down off me step, Nellie McDonough, I’ll drag yer down. And as for sandwiches, well, yer can forget it. Yer asked for a few slices of bread and that’s what yer’ll get. And yer’ll take them home to eat. I want to tell Corker how the plans are going for the wedding, and with your mouth going fifteen to the dozen, I wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgeways.’
Nellie wasn’t going to be put off. ‘If you give me enough to eat, me mouth will be full and I won’t be able to talk. So there!’
Corker was smiling as he picked up his seaman’s bag by the drawstrings. ‘I’d give in if I were you, Molly, ’cos ye’re flogging a dead horse.’
‘I can’t afford to keep her, Corker! I haven’t got six in me family, I’ve got seven! And me mate seems to forget everything’s on ration. I’m sure she thinks I’m a magician who can pull half-a-pound of butter out of thin air.’ But Molly knew she might as well talk to the wall. If Nellie made up her mind she was staying, then nothing would shift her. ‘Would yer kindly move aside, Nellie, and let me in me own house?’
‘If yer didn’t talk so much, girl, we’d be sitting down at your table enjoying a nice cup of tea by now. And I’d have a plate of dry bread in front of me. Not that the thought of dry bread appeals to me, but yer won’t hear me complain. I’ll grin and bear it.’
‘Mrs Woman, yer’ve got until I count to ten to move yerself.’
Nellie turned and walked down Molly’s hall, calling over her shoulder, ‘Come in, Corker, and make yerself at home. Yer can put yer feet up on the mantelpiece if yer like.’
‘What would yer do with her?’ Molly asked, mounting the steps.
‘Enjoy her, Molly.’
‘Oh, I do, Corker, I really do. But it doesn’t do to tell her or she’ll be getting big-headed.’
‘Yer seem to have everything in hand, Molly,’ Corker said, after being filled in with all the news. ‘I think yer’ve done really well. Mind you, I’ve always said yer were a good manager.’
Nellie had been very quiet while Molly was talking, but now she’d eaten all the jam butties she decided her friend had been in the limelight long enough. ‘I was standing next to her when she did all this, yer know, Corker – she didn’t do it all herself.’
‘Oh, I get it now! Some of your excellent management capabilities transferred themselves to Molly, did they?’ The big man’s smile was hidden behind his enormous beard and moustache. ‘Well, that explains everything.’
Nellie was looking at him as though he’d either gone mad or was speaking in a foreign language. ‘Did you understand all that, girl?’
Molly nodded. ‘Of course I did! I don’t agree with what Corker said, but I certainly had no trouble understanding it.’
Nellie put a little finger in each of her ears and wiggled them about. ‘Either me hearing is going for a burton or me ears want cleaning out. Now, go ahead, Corker, and repeat what yer’ve just said. Only do it slower this time.’
Corker could feel Molly kicking him under the table and knew that, like himself, she was having trouble keeping her face deadpan. Speaking very slowly and pronouncing each word clearly, he said, ‘I said I thought yer had a hand in it somewhere, Nellie.’
Keeping her face as straight as his, Nellie stared him out as her brain worked overtime. Then her eyes lit up when she thought of a good reply. Swinging her legs back and forth under the dining chair, and with an air of nonchalance, she said, ‘It would have been extremely selfish of me not to offer my renowned negotiating skills to a friend in need, Corker. And knowing how caring I am, I’m sure you would have expected nothing less of me. Am I right?’
They were never to find out what Corker thought of her negotiating skills because they were doubled up with laughter. It wasn’t so much what Nellie had said, but the way she said it. And the look of pleasure on her face at getting all those big words out, was a joy to behold.
When Molly had calmed down, she put an arm across her friend’s shoulders. ‘Nellie, yer are one cracker. Yer deserve a medal for remembering all those long words and for putting them in the right place.’
‘Can I go to top of the class, Miss?’
‘Yer certainly can, sunshine! In fact, I think yer should have the honour of being milk monitor for the week.’
‘Higher praise than that yer can’t get, Nellie.’ Corker leaned sideways to reach into his pocket for a packet of Capstan Full Strength cigarettes. After lighting up, he drew deeply a couple of times, blowing the smoke in the direction of the door and away from the faces of the two women. ‘If we can be serious for a while
now, let’s get back to the most important event in both your lives. If there’s any help yer need, Molly, then all yer have to do is sing out. With regards to the ham, yer can leave that to me. I’ve already had a word with the ship’s cook and he’s promised me a ten-pound tin, like the one we had a few years ago. I don’t remember what that do was for, unless it was when me and Ellen got married. Anyway, it’ll cater for forty people easily. Cut properly it would work out at a quarter of ham per person.’
Molly jumped from her chair and rounded the table. With her arms around his neck, she smothered him with kisses. ‘Corker, ye’re a smasher. Yer always turn up trumps.’
Nellie was looking on with a smile so wide her chubby cheeks reached her eyes. ‘Didn’t I say yer were a jammy bugger, girl? Honest to God, if yer fell down the lavvy yer’d come up with a gold chain.’ The table began to wobble when her tummy shook with laughter. ‘Mind you, yer’d still ruddywell moan because it wasn’t clean!’
When Molly returned to her chair, she was looking fit to burst with pleasure. ‘Corker, I don’t know how to thank yer. That’s one big worry off me mind.’ She turned to her mate and wagged a finger. ‘If you were any sort of a friend, Nellie McDonough, yer’d offer to wash the gold chain for me.’
‘I will on one condition. That yer let me wear it for the wedding.’
‘It’s a deal, sunshine!’
‘Good!’ Nellie waited expectantly for a few seconds, then jerked her head. ‘Well, go on, what are yer waiting for?’
‘Go where?’
‘Go and fall down the ruddy lavvy! I dunno, girl, sometimes ye’re that ruddy slow yer need a kick up the backside.’
‘I don’t need to worry about that, do I, ’cos yer can’t kick that high.’ Molly reached over and took a chubby cheek between her thumb and forefinger. Pinching gently, she asked, ‘Can yer behave yerself for a while so me and Corker can have an intelligent conversation? I haven’t even asked him how he is, or if he called into the shop to see Ellen?’
‘Yes, I called in to see her,’ Corker said, a smile on his face as he recalled the warmth of his wife’s welcome. ‘She looks well and tells me all the children are fine.’
‘They are lovely kids, Corker, and really well behaved. And they’re all excited about yer coming home.’
Using both hands, Corker ran his fingers over the bushy moustache, twisting the ends until they curled upwards. ‘I’m a very lucky man, Molly, to have such a fine wife and children. As me ma is always telling me, I might have left it late in life, but I ended up with the best.’
‘We call in and see Lizzie a couple of times a week, Corker,’ Nellie told him. ‘We always give her a knock when we’re going to see Molly’s folks.’
‘Yes, I’m grateful for that, Nellie. And Ellen said Jill and Steve go and keep her company as well. It’s good of them to do that, ’cos it means when they’re married and move in with her, they’ll be used to each other. It makes me easier in me mind to know there’s someone calling in every day to see she’s all right.’
‘Corker, yer mother has more visitors than I do!’ Molly said. ‘Never a day goes by that Ellen or one of the four children don’t pay her a visit. I often wonder how she manages for tea because the kettle is never off the boil!’
The big man just smiled. He wasn’t going to say that he made sure his mother never went short of anything. Instead, he asked, ‘Jack and the children all right, Molly?’
‘Yeah, everyone’s in good health. There’s lots of excitement about the weddings, as yer’d expect. And it’ll be worse in the weeks to come with Doreen making dresses for the five bridesmaids. And she’s making my outfit, and Nellie’s. So she’ll have her hands full.’
‘And your family, Nellie? How’s George, the boys and Lily?’
‘George is the same old George, he never alters. Steve is walking around in a dream, with a permanent smile on his face. Paul is as mad as ever, thinking the only reason he was put on this earth was to have fun. As soon as he’s had his meal every night, he’s off gadding here, there and everywhere. And our Lily is fine.’
‘Paul hasn’t got a girlfriend, then?’
‘It’ll be a good one that catches our Paul! He says that with all the lovely girls in Liverpool, why should he just pick one? He’s the love ’em and leave ’em type, I’m afraid.’
‘Lily’s courting though, isn’t she?’
‘That’s a sore subject, Corker. I wish to God she wasn’t courting! I’d rather have her an old maid than married to that miserable bugger.’
‘Still no love lost between the two of yer, then?’
‘Never will be, I can’t stand the feller. And I’m not the only one, none of the family can. They’re civil to him in the few minutes he deigns to honour us with his presence, but they only do that for Lily’s sake.’
‘It’s a great pity that, for everyone. Yer can only pray that things work out, one way or another.’
As Molly listened, an idea sprang to mind. Who better to confide in than the man she would trust with her life? Deciding quickly, she made a show of looking at the clock and feigning surprise that it was nearly half ten. ‘In the name of God, will yer look at the time! If we don’t put a move on there’ll be nothing left in the shops by the time we get to them. I’ll leave the housework until I get back, it won’t come to no harm. So you nip home and get yer coat, Nellie, and I’ll be ready for when yer get back. Corker can have another cup of tea while he’s waiting to be thrown out.’
‘No, I’ll go out with Nellie and let you go about yer business, me darlin’.’ Corker made to get to his feet. ‘I’ll see yer tonight anyway, ’cos I’ll be calling in to see Jack and the kids. And I’m home for ten days so yer’ll soon be sick of the sight of me.’
‘I’d never get sick of the sight of you, Corker.’ Molly was willing him to read the message in her eyes. ‘There’s still tea left in the pot and I’d hate it to go to waste. So I’ll pour yer a cup out while Nellie goes for her coat. All I’ve got to do is run a comb through me hair, it’s not as though anyone’s going to look me up and down.’
Molly followed her neighbour to the front door to make sure it was firmly closed after her so she couldn’t walk in on them unannounced. Then she hurried back to the living room. ‘Nellie will only be about five minutes, so I’ll have to hurry. I want to ask yer advice about something Maisie told me, and which I’m in two minds whether to mention to me mate or not. I’d like to hear your opinion.’
Corker listened intently to Molly’s hurried version of events, and when she’d finished he stroked his beard thoughtfully. ‘It should be easy enough to find out if Len and Lofty are the same person, and I might be able to help yer solve the mystery. There’s quite a few pubs near Tetlow Street, and while I won’t say I’m well-known around there, I’ve been in a couple of them with some of the lads off the ship. In fact, one of me best mates, Ken Roberts, lives in the next street. He’s on leave, too, like meself. So it wouldn’t hurt if I paid Ken a visit. But it’ll have to wait until Monday now, ’cos the kids will be off school over the weekend.’
When a loud bang came on the window, rattling the glass in the frame, Corker was startled. ‘In the name of God, what’s that?’
‘That’s me mate, announcing herself. I’m fed-up telling her about it, but I might as well talk to the wall. I’ll let her in, but not a word, Corker, I don’t want her worrying if there’s no reason to.’
Nellie waddled in and stood in the middle of the room. With her basket over her arm and her fingers laced across her tummy, she eyed Molly up and down. ‘Oh, aye! Yer hair’s a mess and yer skirt is around yer hips. If I was a bad-minded woman, I’d say there’s been a bit of hanky-panky going on here. I can understand yer being desperate after being away at sea, Corker, and being obliging, I’d have invited yer into my house for a cuppa if yer’d given me the eye-eye.’
Corker chuckled as he got to his feet and stretched to his full height. ‘It’s a good job ye’re not bad-minded, Nellie, �
��cos think what yer could have come up with if yer were!’
‘Oh, I could have come up with a lot more, but I’ve got to watch what I say in front of me mate. I’m under instructions that there’s to be no dirty talk, no swearwords and I’m not to mention the bedroom under any circumstances. I’m not even allowed to tell her when I’m changing me ruddy sheets!’ The chubby cheeks creased. ‘After I leave her, step into me own house and shut the door, I talk filthy to me four walls. I come out with every bad word I can think of, and I don’t half feel better after it.’
‘May God forgive you, Nellie McDonough.’ Molly slipped her arms into her coat. ‘You’ll never get to heaven, you won’t.’
‘Listen to me, girl! I’m relying on you to get me to heaven. If I’m good enough to go to the shops with yer, then I’m good enough to go to heaven with yer. And I promise I’ll have a clean pair of bloomers on, and I won’t have no tidemark.’
‘I’m sure Saint Peter will take note of that, sunshine. But before we make our way up the stairway to heaven, d’yer think we can make our way to the shops?’ Molly pushed her friend towards the door. ‘Come on, Corker, before she thinks of some other gem to keep us talking.’
Nellie turned her head, and gave a very good impression of Schnozzle Durante. ‘I’ve got a million of ’em, kiddo.’
‘They’ll keep, sunshine!’
Corker donned his seaman’s peaked cap and swung his bag over his shoulder. ‘I’ll see yer tonight, Molly.’
‘We’ll have a full house, I’m afraid. The bridesmaids are coming to choose the pattern for their dresses and to have their measurements taken. But the more the merrier, eh, Corker? You can come with yer two daughters.’
‘I’m not having no favouritism,’ Nellie said. ‘If he can come with his daughters, I’m coming with our Lily.’
‘Not on your life, sunshine! By the time we get back from the shops I’ll have had enough of you for one day.’
