by Rosie Harris
‘Stop worrying about it,’ Adam told her when she became anxious and depressed because there was still no sign of a baby. ‘You’ll probably end up having twins, or even triplets!’ He grinned.
‘Just one would do,’ Helen said wistfully. ‘I feel so odd, so different from all the other women. Every time I meet any of them they always have a baby in their arms or they’re clutching a toddler by the hand while I … I have nothing, no one.’
‘You’ve got me – and no one could need more looking after than I do!’ Adam teased, letting his hand slide sensuously up and down her spine. Drawing her into his arms, his lips found hers and since she still loved him to distraction it ended any further serious discussion. From that point on nothing else mattered except releasing their pent-up passion.
By the time Aunt Julia came to visit, towards the end of September, Helen had managed to transform the barrack-like shell – with the help of plants, pictures, colourful cushions and rugs – into an attractive home. She knew most of the wives from the surrounding houses but her special friends were Sheila Wilson and Nesta Evans.
Sheila was a diminutive brunette with hazel eyes, married to a massive sandy-haired Scottish sergeant, Jock Wilson. They had two children – Patsy, an adorable three-year-old miniature of her mother, and Jamie, a robust tousle-headed seven-year-old with scabbed knees and a cheeky, freckled face.
Nesta was slim and as dark-haired and dark-eyed as her husband, Taffy Evans. Their two boys, David, aged six and Llewellyn, who was almost eight, were both football crazy and spent most of their free time kicking a ball around, either in their own back garden or out on the front lawns. Their two-year-old daughter, Delia, had huge brown eyes and a mop of dark brown curls. She was inseparable from Patsy Wilson, and the two little girls liked nothing better than to visit Helen. They would play happily for hours in her garden or sitting-room, usually entertaining her as well as themselves.
Aunt Julia was pleasurably surprised at how well Helen had settled into her new life. Helen took her to London to watch the Changing of the Guard and felt inordinately proud of the part Adam played in the colourful ceremony.
They attended a Regimental Dinner in the Sergeants’ Mess and Aunt Julia was very impressed by the smart turn-out of the wives in their elegant evening dresses.
‘They certainly do things in style.’ She smiled as they sat down at one of the long tables laid with gleaming silver and sparkling glasses and decorated with bowls of fresh flowers.
‘That was an excellent meal. You must be enjoying your new life very much,’ she commented afterwards as she sipped her coffee.
‘The only drawback,’ Helen grumbled, ‘is that Adam is away so often. He’s only just back from three weeks in Thetford and soon he’ll be off again to Otterburn for two or three weeks on a training exercise. Even when he is at home he often spends several days at a time on guard duty in London or Windsor. There always seems to be some special occasion or other. You must come to London with me next year when he takes part in Trooping the Colour.’
Before she went home, Aunt Julia promised to come and stay with them over Christmas. When the time came, however, it was so bitterly cold she refused to make the journey.
Helen agreed to go and visit her early in the New Year but blizzards had blocked the roads and railway lines so she decided to leave it until the weather improved. It was something to look forward to through the long bleak winter that was made worse by a coal shortage and electricity cuts.
Helen remembered how lovely spring could be in Sturbury and hoped Adam would manage to get leave so that they could visit while the daffodils were out and the orchards in blossom. She missed the lush meadows and flower-filled hedgerows. Although the countryside around Pirbright was pretty, it didn’t have the same appeal for her as Sturbury.
Aunt Julia always made Helen welcome at Willow Cottage and kept her up-to-date with local events, but, as time passed, Helen found they had less and less appeal. Most of her childhood friends had left the village. Isabel, now married, was in Australia and even Donald, although he had taken over Bulpitts, was away in Canada on an extended working holiday and the house was shuttered and neglected.
In addition, Helen found that her new life and friends in Pirbright seemed to be taking up more and more of her time. She had become involved in the social life there, the Sunday lunches in the Mess and the parties that always seemed to be held on the slightest pretext. There was even a party organised when Princess Elizabeth and Prince Philip announced their betrothal. As soon as the wedding date was announced, plans of how they would celebrate that spiked every conversation.
Although she was caught up in all these activities, Helen still felt that her life lacked something. When it was announced that Princess Elizabeth was expecting a baby, Helen felt quite desperate. It seemed so unfair; Princess Elizabeth had been married no time at all. Helen even began to wonder if her own miscarriage had left her unable to have children. Just a few months later, however, she finally became pregnant herself and her joy knew no bounds.
For several months she guarded her secret, not even telling Adam, until it became impossible to conceal her thickening waist any longer.
Their excitement was dampened a little when Adam told her he was being sent to Cyprus for two months early in the New Year.
‘I shall be away in March when the baby’s due,’ he grumbled.
‘Never mind, I’ve plenty of friends nearby. Sheila and Nesta will be on their own as well so we can all keep each other company.’
‘Jock and Taffy won’t be away. I’m being sent on my own. It’s a special assignment.’
Helen was immediately alarmed. Although Cyprus was quiet at the moment, she was afraid it meant that trouble was expected.
But Adam was quick to deny it. ‘I didn’t want to say anything until I was quite sure, but I think it’s going to lead to promotion,’ he told her. ‘If I’ve read the signs right, I shall be promoted to full Sergeant once this trip is over. And that means a bigger pay packet.’
‘Does it mean we’ll move from here?’
‘Hope not. Mind you, the entire Battalion is due for a posting sometime in 1949.’
‘Must we go?’
‘No choice. That’s the Army.’
The news worried Helen. She even mentioned it when she wrote to Aunt Julia to tell her about the baby. By return came an invitation to stay at Willow Cottage just whenever she wanted to and for as long as she liked.
Helen had an easy pregnancy. By Christmas she was so huge that Sheila and Nesta were adamant she’d got her dates all wrong. Over coffee each morning they discussed it at length until she was almost convinced herself.
Although the three boys seemed to ignore totally the imminent addition to their immediate circle, Delia and Patsy, now five and six, waited with growing impatience for the baby’s arrival. They had both been given dolls’ prams at Christmas and argued constantly as to which of them would be first to take the new baby out in it.
Gently but firmly, Helen explained that the baby wasn’t a toy and that it already had its own pram. In the end she promised that the first time she wheeled the new baby out they could come as well, with their prams.
‘You must be mad to agree to something like that!’ Nesta laughed. ‘They’ll hold you to it, you know. Can you imagine walking through the estate with those two in tow? It will be like a procession!’
‘Our Patsy won’t forget,’ Sheila Wilson assured them. ‘She keeps asking her Dad why can’t we have another baby. I wish she’d stop putting ideas into his head! Three kids are enough to look after. Now she’s at school, and I can go shopping on my own, I’m just beginning to feel human again. You stick at one, Helen, that’s the perfect number and don’t let anyone tell you different.’
When Ruth was born, and she had to cope single-handed, Helen was inclined to agree with Sheila. The baby was small, dark-haired, grey-eyed and adorable, but very demanding.
Ruth was seven weeks old when Adam return
ed from Cyprus, and he was enslaved from the first moment he set eyes on her.
‘She’s a perfect replica of her mother and I couldn’t ask for more,’ he assured Helen the first time he held her in his arms.
‘It’s like seeing you as a baby all over again,’ Aunt Julia told Helen when she came to Pirbright for the christening.
It seemed to Helen that the Fates were smiling on her. Ruth thrived and Adam delighted in every new stage of her development, eager to nurse her whenever he was at home.
They didn’t even move from Pirbright as had been forecast. Strikes seemed to be the order of the day and the Guards were sent to help unload meat at London Docks.
Secure in her home, Helen’s world revolved around Adam and the baby. She shut her ears and eyes to everything else, whether it was national news or local gossip.
Over coffee, she would listen to Sheila and Nesta’s hair-raising tales of rows, break-ups, intrigue and scandal amongst the other families in married quarters, as if it was no part of her world. She always knew where Adam was and, anyway, he just wasn’t that type. Her cup of happiness was full. They were still deeply in love and he was devoted to Ruth.
Ruth was not quite eighteen months old when Helen found herself pregnant again. Adam was now a Training Sergeant, permanently based at Pirbright, training the eighteen- to twenty-two-year-old conscripts who, though they only served for two years, often chose to be drafted into the Guards and, when they did, their training had to match up to that of the rest of the Regiment.
Adam found the work monotonous, but Helen welcomed the opportunity for them to remain at Pirbright, even though she knew it couldn’t last. Jock Wilson and Taffy Evans had been out in Malaya for well over a year and Adam was due to go out there just as soon as his latest intake of conscripts were sufficiently trained in jungle warfare.
Again, luck was with them. The Guards were withdrawn from the Far East before he went out to join them and so he was still at home when the new baby, a boy, was born at the end of February. They called him Mark. He had Adam’s vivid blue eyes, and thick crop of dark hair and Helen felt that at last they were a complete family.
Mark was nowhere near as placid as Ruth had been. By the time he was ten months old the two year age gap between him and Ruth seemed to lessen, for by then he could walk and was into every kind of mischief. He was so sturdy that he kept up with his sister in just about everything.
The following February, just a few days before Adam was due to be sent to Palestine, King George VI died, and, instead, Adam found himself part of the escort for the King’s funeral parade. No sooner was that over than full-scale rehearsals began for the Coronation, which was to take place the following year.
Helen wanted to take Ruth and Mark up to London to watch the Coronation but Adam was against her doing so.
‘You can’t possibly take the children there,’ he protested. ‘The crowds will be massive; they won’t be able to see a thing.’
‘Can’t you find us a good viewing point? I wanted the children to see you taking part,’ she pleaded. ‘They are always so excited when they see you marching through the streets when we are out for a walk. Remember how Mark saluted the last time you gave your squad an “Eyes right” as they passed us.’
‘You mean it’s you who wants to see me,’ he teased, his blue eyes gleaming. ‘At their age they’re not likely to know what it’s all about, now are they? It’s not as though I could stop and speak to them. Bring them to London next time I’m doing a Palace Guard; that should impress them.’
Reluctantly, she agreed to stay home and watch the ceremony on television. There was to be a party in the Mess for the children, and the houses and streets were gay with bunting, so at least there would be some sense of occasion.
When Ruth started school, Mark was so bored and lonely on his own that Helen decided to send him to a playgroup. For the first month Helen revelled in her new-found freedom because it coincided with Adam being on leave. Once or twice they arranged for Nesta to collect Mark at midday, so that they could go to Guildford to do some shopping, and have lunch out.
They still enjoyed each other’s company and as she dressed for these special days, Helen felt as excited as if she was on her first date. She had quickly regained her figure after Mark’s birth and had found that the ‘new look’ styles which were all the rage suited her. The mid-calf skirts and nipped-in waistline, showed her tall, slim figure to advantage and made her feel elegant. She had even bought a pair of stiletto-heeled shoes to go with the new outfits – although she didn’t risk wearing them except when she was out with Adam and could hang on to his arm.
Adam teased her about her smug little smile as she straightened his tie and brushed the shoulders of his tweed sports jacket, before linking her arm through his. But she knew from the appreciative gleam in his vivid blue eyes that he was still as much in love with her as she was with him.
Sometimes, as she listened to Nesta and Sheila gossiping about the break-ups, and the husbands who were unfaithful, she marvelled at her own good fortune. A husband with whom she was still in love, and who wanted only her, two happy, healthy children, a comfortable home and no money problems. It seemed almost too good to be true.
Even though Helen knew that sooner or later Adam would go overseas, when he was posted to Cyprus in 1955 she felt her world had been torn apart.
‘It’s not just the separation, it’s the danger you’ll be in.’ She sobbed as she clung to him on their last night together.
‘Come on, I know how to look after myself,’ he reassured her. ‘I’m just as likely to have an accident here in England as over there. The way some of these young crows aim when we’re out on the shooting range, it’s a wonder I haven’t been maimed long before this.’
‘It’s not the same,’ she protested tearfully.
‘Look what happened to one of the Guardsmen on sentry duty outside Buckingham Palace last year,’ Adam went on, ‘he was bitten by one of the Queen’s corgis and had to be treated for a septic leg wound.’
‘But at least he stayed here in England,’ she argued. ‘His family could see him and be with him. Ruth and Mark are going to miss you as well as me.’
‘Only if you let them. You’ve got to be strong, Helen. We’ve had a fairly settled life here at Pirbright. We’ve been luckier than most of the others.’
‘As Depot Training Sergeant you had to stay in England.’
‘Exactly! A cushy number by other people’s standards.’
‘How long will this posting last?’
‘I don’t know yet. There’s trouble out there, otherwise I would have been able to take you and the children with me. Perhaps in two or three months time …’ his voice trailed off as her mouth sought his, seeking their own special kind of solace in the few hours they had left.
Chapter 14
‘I feel as if I’m being deserted,’ Helen sighed as she refilled Nesta’s coffee cup. ‘First Sheila and now you. I almost wish I could persuade Adam to do the same as Taffy and leave the Army.’
‘My Elwyn’s a lot older than Adam. He was a regular soldier when the war started so he’s done his twenty-one years,’ Nesta pointed out. ‘And that’s long enough for anyone to serve,’ she added forcefully.
‘And he’s already fixed up with a job. That was lucky!’
‘I only hope it works out,’ Nesta said anxiously. ‘He’s putting his gratuity into a garage along with his youngest brother. It means jobs for our two boys as well.’
‘A real family business!’
Nesta made a face. ‘Sounds grand, but I don’t know how they’ll all get on working together. My Elwyn’s more used to giving orders than taking them and it’s his brother who knows about cars, not him. At least we’re not all living together, so I suppose that’s something.’
‘I hope you’ll be happy. I wonder if we’ll ever meet up again?’
‘Of course we will, cariad!’ Nesta’s Welsh accent became stronger with emotion. ‘You’ll come t
o visit us … promise now! We’ve been friends for nearly twelve years; we can’t just lose touch with each other. Good friends are hard to find, you know.’
‘You and Sheila were the first people I really got to know when we arrived in married quarters,’ Helen said reflectively. ‘I wonder where she is now?’
‘Still living with her mother the last time I heard,’ Nesta said, shaking her head sadly. ‘It was sad about her and Jock breaking up like that.’
‘Yes, but I can understand it. He was cheating on her.’
‘I know, but I think she should have turned a blind eye to his antics; most wives do, don’t they?’
‘Oh, come on, Nesta. He was even getting other sergeants to cover up for him by saying he was on duty, when in fact he was out on the town with other women. What wife is going to stand for that?’ Helen said sharply. It was a situation she had never had to deal with herself and she just couldn’t understand how other wives found themselves in such a predicament. If Adam had deceived her with someone else then, much as she loved him, she would not have tolerated such behaviour.
‘Plenty do. We talked about it often enough. I don’t think you ever believed half the stories we told you, though.’
‘It’s the children I feel so sorry for when families break up,’ Helen said gloomily.
‘True, but Sheila’s are both teenagers now and will soon be old enough to stand on their own feet. Army kids are pretty resilient … they have to be. All the moving around, new places, different faces, strange schools … they grow up faster than most children and they’re used to not having their dad around.’
‘I suppose you’re right.’
‘You’ve been lucky, Helen. Adam’s only had a couple of short spells overseas; the rest of the time he’s been here at Pirbright.’
‘True, though I sometimes think Adam gets bored being Training Sergeant – but it’s suited me not having to keep moving.’
